Personal Demons (26 page)

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You have Sight . . . visions. Ghalib, Taylor’s dad. You knew.”

My throat tightens as I think about my nightmares—things
I saw before they happened. The faces that follow the lightning in my head: Matt, Grandma, Ghalib, Mr. Stevens, and so many others.

Gabe pulls back and looks into my eyes. “But there’s more. Something even bigger.”

I look back at Luc and his face goes white. He shakes his head slowly. Gabe looks up at him and nods.

“Sway . . .” Luc whispers, his brow creasing as if he had a sudden headache. He drops his head and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Unholy Hell . . .”

“What?” I say. A shudder runs down my spine and Gabe pulls me close again.

“Hitler, Moses . . . what do they have in common?”

I’m in no frame of mind to work out a riddle. “Just tell me what’s going on.” I hate that my voice sounds so small and weak.

“You know the story of Moses. He had the ability to make people listen: to sway their opinions, their thoughts. There had never been anyone like that before. When Lucifer saw what he could do, how God worked through him, he realized he’d screwed up. The next time someone showed up with that same degree of Sway, Lucifer wasn’t going to get beat out. He fought—dirty, I might add,” he says, glaring at Luc, “and he won. We all know what happened in Nazi Germany. There hasn’t been another with that same power until now.” He shares a meaningful glance with Luc and then looks back at me. “You.”

I look at Luc, who’s standing wide-eyed and slack-jawed, horrified.

“Listen, here’s the deal. If
they
get to you,” Gabe juts his chin toward Luc, “influence you, you’re Hitler—but worse. If you
stay with us, you’re Moses. Your power is only going to get stronger.” His jaw clenches and he shakes his head. “And you’re not naïve for believing people are innately good, Frannie.”

I feel so small, my whole body collapsing down on itself as everything real, everything I’ve ever known, vanishes. Pieces of a hundred questions tease me, but I can’t put them together in a way that makes sense—except one.

“Why now?” I hear myself whisper.

“You’re coming into your own now. When you were young, we were able to Shield you, to keep you off their radar.” He shoots a glance at Luc. “But not anymore.”

My voice is still a harsh whisper. It’s all I can manage. “What do you want from me?”

He traces a finger along the collar of my shirt to my chest and taps it there, over my heart. “Just for you to follow your heart. Do what’s right.”

I bark out a mirthless laugh that doesn’t even sound like mine. “I’m no saint.”

“I never said you were. But, like it or not, this is what you are.
Who
you are. And my job is to be here for you—in any way you need me.”

And as he says it, I know Gabriel is right. This is what I felt in her soul. It’s why Beherit sent me out looking for her and why King Lucifer wants her so badly that he’s willing to chance breaking a rule or two.

She looks stunned—eyes wide like a deer in the headlights. “You guys got the wrong sister. You must be mixing me up with Grace.”

Gabriel nestles his face into her hair. “You’re already swinging the balance. You, Frannie. Not Mary or Kate or Grace or Maggie. You. If you have the power to transform Shit-for-Brains over there,” he glowers at me, “just imagine the difference you can make in the mortal realm. The difference you’ve probably
already
made without even knowing it.”

My back hits the wall as if someone pushed me, and my legs won’t hold me anymore. I slide down the wall and sit on the floor.

Sway.

Frannie’s got Sway. And if what Gabriel just implied is true, her power has never been rivaled in a mortal. He’s saying her power is what changed me—a creature of Hell. And not just my mind, but my physical being.
How is that possible?
Even Moses had no influence over the celestial or infernal. And if that’s true, it’s not just the masses she can sway. She has power beyond that of even King Lucifer. She could change the shape of Heaven and Hell.

My king’s words echo in my head.
It’s my turn. This is my chance. I will be out from under Him—finally.
King Lucifer thinks He can manipulate Heaven—maybe even the Almighty—through Frannie.

“
Be careful what you wish for
,” she whispers, as lost in her own thoughts as I am in mine.

There’s torment in Gabriel’s eyes as he looks into Frannie’s.
“Your power is getting stronger every day. You need to see that you have pull on people’s thoughts and emotions and therefore their actions.” He glances toward me and his eyes drop to her hand, where he twines his fingers with hers. “And it’s not just
people
you have that effect on. You’ll always get what you want if it’s in your control.”

Frannie pulls away from him and suddenly there’s rage. Black pepper floods the room. “I want my brother back. I don’t have
that
,” she spits.

He looks at her with sad eyes. “The only one with control over that is God.”

All I can do is watch as her expression shifts from rage through shock into panic. “This is wrong. I’m not a saint or an angel. I’m not even a good person. I’m going to Hell. I already know that.”

Why would she think that? I look at Gabriel. His expression is pained and sickeningly sympathetic. He pulls her to his shoulder and she melts into him. When the scent of Frannie’s warm chocolate seeps through his celestial stench, I feel something cold and black wrap around my heart and squeeze. I’d kill him if I didn’t think Frannie needed him.

“What happened—the reason you think you’re going to Hell—it wasn’t your fault,” he says into her hair.

“You’re so full of shit,” she spits, pulling away. “I killed my brother.”

The bottom drops out of my stomach. The boy in the picture—that explains the haunted look in her eye when I asked about him. So much pain—the same pain that was buried
so deep that first day we met, when I asked what she’d like to undo.

Gabriel is still looking at her, shaking his head. “You didn’t kill him, Frannie. It was his time. That’s all.”

It’s like watching a volcano erupt. The words spill out of her mouth like burning lava. “Yeah. Just keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better about stealing children from their families.”

Gabriel slides a little closer to her on the couch, but she moves away. “He
is
with his family. God called him home.”

“Well, then, your God
sucks.
”

I move across the room and sit next to her. I take her hand, wanting—no,
needing
—to do something to ease her pain.

“I think what Gabriel said is true, Frannie. If you killed him you’d already be tagged for Hell, and you’re not.”

“Well, I should be,” she says, pulling herself away from my touch.

I lift her chin with my finger, staring down into her deep sapphire eyes. “No, you shouldn’t,” I say and lean in to kiss her. For only the third time, I push my power on Frannie, to draw out all her pain and her misdirected anger. It’s not nearly enough, but it’s all I know how to do.

I hesitate, but then I look into those black eyes that can see my soul. And when his lips touch mine, I feel everything shift, and
all my anger melts away. When his eyes finally release me I feel calm, the acid in my core and the ache in my heart gone.

Gabe pulls a deep sigh and looks at me with wounded eyes, and my guilt crushes me. I need them both in ways I can’t even understand. Gabe moves across the room and sits in the chair under the window.

I drop my head and stare into my lap.

Luc squeezes me. “So, back to my original question. What the hell is happening to me? What exactly is it that I’m transforming into?” He glowers at Gabe. “
Not
one of you. Please, for the love of all things unholy, tell me I’m not going to become some goody-two-shoes angel. I couldn’t take it.”

Gabe glowers back. “Don’t know. Anything’s possible. Let me know if you start sprouting wings.”

I look up at Gabe. “Could he become like me? Human?”

Luc looks at me with that same hopeful expression I saw on his face earlier. Gabe answers, resigned. “It’s possible. This is unprecedented as far as I know. I have no clue what’s happening, except it’s clearly happening and it’s just as clearly significant. And you’re the key. You’re going to change the world, Frannie. This is big.”

“Big . . .” I say, trying to figure out what that means. “So, are we talking, like, ‘bringing him to Jesus’ big,” I say, waving my hand in Luc’s direction, “or ‘virgin birth’ big?”

Luc scowls and a smile just touches the corners of Gabe’s mouth. “Based on what you’re capable of, I’d be thinking more along the lines of ‘virgin birth’ big. Although, if you could bring
him
to Jesus, that’d be pretty huge too.”

Luc bolts off the couch and is across the room like a shot, eyes storming. “You can’t be serious.”

“Don’t be such a doofus. If it wasn’t big, would He have sent me? Her name is Mary, after all. Could anyone without Sway convince the masses of a virgin birth? The second coming of Christ?” A grin far too mischievous to ever be considered angelic flits across Gabe’s face. “What’s wrong, Lucifer? You don’t want to be Joseph?”

Luc wheels around and braces his hands on the wall, sending up a growl that curls my hair. “Unholy Hell! This can’t be happening.” Then he spins back and stares at me, eyes wide.

I pull myself out of the couch and stand there, not sure what I’m feeling. I think about Gabe’s kiss. If that was Heaven, I want more. I remember thinking I could just live there, in that peace and love. But that’s not what he’s saying—not what he’s offering. I’m supposed to have some power, to do something with it that’s supposed to save people. And as I think about that, panic takes over, making it a little hard to breathe.

Gabe tucks me into his side and wraps his arms around me. This time I let him, ’cause I need him. I melt into him as his summer snow buries me in calm and my breathing starts to ease.

When I can get enough air, I look up at him. “What’s going to happen to me?”

His eyes are miles deep. I want to dive right into them. “Well, first off, this.” He leans in and kisses my cheek, too close to my mouth, and my heart speeds up despite his calm. “You know I’ll always be here for you. If you ever need anything,” he glares at Luc, “you know where to come.” Distress creeps into his eyes. “But after that, I’m not sure.”

I press deeper into Gabe as Luc glares at us from the window. “You’re playing a little fast and loose with those wings, don’t you think?” he spits at Gabe.

In response, Gabe pulls me tighter into his body and smirks at Luc, but I see the uncertainty in his eyes. I sink into him and let his summer snow bury me so I don’t have to think.

It’s almost comical to watch these guys. They’re so busy trying to hate each other that they don’t see how alike they are. Well . . . alike except for one being all dark and dangerous and the other blinding me with his radiance. But other than that . . .

I’m starting to get my mind around some of this. In the week since Luc and Gabe filled me in, they’ve both backed off to give me room to think. And Gabe’s backed off in other ways. We’re almost never alone together, and he’s hardly touched me. Which I’m not sure I’m happy about. I haven’t asked him why, but I’m pretty sure Luc’s comment about losing his wings might have something to do with it.

All the white in Gabe’s kitchen creates a glare, and I’m not sure Gabe’s not adding to it. He glowers at Luc, and Luc stares him down, challenging him.

“It’s beyond my comprehension how, after everything you’ve seen, you can still have that attitude. The only reason the Almighty doesn’t send another flood is that the first one was useless.”

Gabe shakes his head. “People do stuff every day to prove you wrong. Completely selfless acts of kindness.”

“I disagree. Nothing is selfless. At the bottom of every good deed, there’s a self-serving motive.”

“Dude, you need to lighten up.”

I roll my eyes. “Give it up, Gabe. He’s hopeless.” I open my calculus book on the kitchen table and push my empty ice cream bowl aside. “I know you guys are geniuses and all, but finals start tomorrow, and I’ve got to study or UCLA is gonna change their mind about me.”

Luc looks at me and smiles. “What’s the deal with UCLA anyway?”

“What do you mean?”

“Just curious why you feel compelled to go three thousand miles away for college.”

“Well . . . partly ’cause it’s three thousand miles away. But really, they have the top international relations program in the country, and I’m thinking I can double major in political science or maybe Middle Eastern studies.”

Luc raises an eyebrow. “And do what?”

I feel warmth creep into my cheeks. “I think that most of the crap that happens in the world is ’cause people don’t know how to talk to each other. You know, ’cause of differences in culture or religion. Stuff like that. That’s why I started that whole pen pal thing. I wanted to try to understand. So . . . I guess I’m
thinking I’d like to do something bigger. Not quite sure what or how . . .”