Phantoms In Philadelphia (24 page)

I love her.

The thought struck me so forcefully that I pulled
away and pushed to my feet. I backed away two steps, staring down
at her surprised face.

Running a hand through my hair, I uttered, “Forgive
me.”

A look of confusion crossed her sweet face. “Why do
you need forgiveness, John? I kissed you. If you are apologizing
for breaking away, then I forgive you. Now, come. Sit.”

Staring at her, not making a move to do as she
insisted, she frowned, but with what I was feeling, neither of us
would be safe.

She leaned against the tree. “If I promise not to
kiss you again, will you sit?”

That was not what I was worried about. It was not a
good idea, and I knew it, but I stepped toward her anyway. To be
safe, I left a few inches between us when I sat.

Silence reigned for several minutes as I fought to
get my desires under control. When I glanced at her, her brow was
lowered in a scowl.

After a few more minutes passed in silence, she
finally spoke. “I had not thought it of you before.” She turned to
look at me. “You are a puritan. Deny it, if you dare.”

Holding her gaze for a moment before looking back at
the water, I wanted to laugh but did not dare. If I answered her
honestly, telling her that the intensity of my feelings for her
made me want to be anything but a gentleman, she would surely slap
my face.

Instead, I said what John Martin should say. “I am a
stickler for propriety, yes.”

“Then why did you agree to ride with me when you
knew I rode without a groom?” she demanded

“You have discovered my weakness,
for I could not deny you anything, but the other side of the coin
is that I never want to do anything to harm your reputation. I feel
things for you that are new to me. You are—” I paused, wondering
how best to describe my feelings. Her eyes begged me to tell her
the truth, and at that moment I never wanted anything more. “I am
better with verse.” I picked up her gloved hand, entwining our
fingers and pressing them against my heart. “So long as men can
breathe, or eyes can see, so long lives this,” I tapped our fingers
against my heart, “and this gives life to thee.”

She stared into my eyes for a
moment more, then nodding; she pulled her hand from my clasp. Her
bottom lip caught between her teeth, something she did when
thinking.

After two minutes of silence passed, she stood. “We
should return to town.” She started toward the horses.

I was on my feet in an instant. “Guinevere,” she
stopped but did not turn, “if I have done or said anything that
makes you uncomfortable, I do apologize.”

She nodded again but said nothing. Confused by what
had transpired, I picked up my hat, jerked it on my head and
followed. After assisting her on to her horse, she moved away
without waiting for me. I mounted and followed as she led the way
toward the city, never once letting me come up beside her. When we
neared the country church, she finally slowed for me to join
her.

“I need some time, John,” she glanced at me, then
away all too quickly.

I nodded, but I felt sick. Somehow I had ruined
whatever was forming between us.

"Did you mean what you said?” she asked.

“With all my heart,” I assured her.

She rewarded me with a smile. “I shall expect you at
my house on Monday at two.” She rode away, leaving me in a state of
surprise.

Her meaning was clear. She expected me to
propose...and I was going to.

Bess

W
hen Jack
and I came in from a morning ride, Jericho was awaiting us in the
library. Jericho was not dressed in livery, but in his leisure
clothing, as he had already been out that morning searching for
George.

When the door was closed, I
approached him. “Have you discovered something?”
Please, let it be so
.

“Unfortunately not. If there were ever a trail, it
has long since been covered. I fear that until we force Levitas to
disclose his whereabouts, we will not find him.”

It was as I feared. Levitas had not met again, nor
had there been any word that they knew about our capturing their
assassins.

When Jericho was seated across from us, I watched
him closely. From the way he clasped then unclasped his hands; I
knew he was worried over something.

Jericho had long been a favorite of
mine. When we were children, he had given me my first kiss. It was
done on purpose, but it was a memory I cherished. We had been
training in the art of seduction. As my father was wont to say,
“Seduction is not restricted to one sex. A person who can seduce
can reduce their mission time in half.”

We were each given a card and told to tuck it
somewhere on our person. The object was simple. The first person to
retrieve the card from their partner was declared the victor.
Jericho and I had been teamed together, and while I toyed with my
fan and batted my eyelashes, Jericho went straight for the win. He
had been twelve to my thirteen, but he was the tallest of all the
boys. His arms wrapped around my waist, and the next thing I knew
he was kissing me. I was so stunned that I never noticed his
retrieving my card until he released me and bowed. Since then, I
knew never underestimate him, and that his kisses were a power all
their own. We had grown to be a family, and my girlish fancy had
changed into a deep respect.

His jaw was tight, and his lips were compressed.
When he met my gaze, there was a strong will in his brown eyes.
“There is something that I must ask,” Jericho said, and as he
nervously shifted his weight foreboding moved inside me.

“I would ask your permission and your blessing on my
marriage. To Mariah.”

Jack and I stared at him, each with our mouths
agape. Surprise, astonishment, and fear all coursed within my body.
Surprise and astonishment I understood, but the fear was
unsettling. As the leader of the Phantoms in Philadelphia, it was
my permission that had to be gained if someone wished to marry.
That brought thoughts of Ben into my head. Ben had had to gain my
father’s permission to marry me, not only as my father, but as my
leader. That must have been where the fear stemmed from. Ben had
died in our line of work.

“Am I,” I cleared my throat, “to understand that you
love Mariah?” Jericho nodded, holding my gaze. “Does she return
your regard?”

A smile crept slowly to Jericho’s lips, and he was
again the little boy whom my father had brought home all those
years ago; the wild boy with the free spirit who knew how to
protect himself. I had always been secretly impressed and a little
in awe of Jericho. He possessed an inner strength to rival my
father’s. When Jericho donned the wolf mask, he became a wolf, but
he never struck against someone until they made the first move. He
was just.

“I can think of no other man who would be better for
Mariah,” I said, and Jericho released a puff of air. “I will give
my blessing, but you must wait to wed until after this mission with
Levitas, and George is found.”

Jack and I stood, and Jericho threw his arms around
Jack and hugged him, picking him completely off the ground.

“Put me down, you wolf,” Jack said with a laugh.
Jericho dropped Jack to his feet and came toward me. I took a step
back in funning, but he only took my hands and stared down into my
eyes.

“I swear on all the stars in the sky you will never
have cause to regret this decision.”

Somehow, I knew I never would. I
had never thought about it until that moment, but there had been
looks passed between them for months, and Jericho was always the
one who helped Mariah into the carriage or onto her horse or to
escort her when I sent her on an errand. Mariah would marry a great
man, which she mightily
deserved.

“When shall you ask her? Is it to be kept
secret?”

Jericho looked sheepish as he ran a hand through his
fair hair. “I would like to ask her immediately, but not here.”

“Most definitely not here. Take her on a picnic,” I
said, and both Jericho and Jack stared at me. “I can be romantic
when the occasion demands.”

Jericho laughed then planted a kiss on my cheek. I
went out with him, and as he went to saddle their horses, I told
Mrs. Beaumont what was afoot, and she scurried off to see to a
basket lunch. I found Mariah in my chamber and told her she and
Jericho were being sent on an errand, one that would require she
not wear her maid uniform.

After Jack and I had seen them off, there was
another pang in my heart. It was like a void, a cavern of
emptiness, dark and daunting. We went back into the library, and
Jack shut the door then leaned against it with a frown fixed on his
lips. I leaned back against my chair and closed my eyes. Andrew
came to mind, but he was immediately replaced with Ben’s image. I
knew that what I was feeling was guilt and shame. Somehow over the
years, I had become bitter, clinging to a memory. It was that
memory which drove me on day after day, mission after mission. A
need for justice that I could never possibly acquire.

“Bess, what is going on in your mind?”

Jumping at the sound of his voice so close, I raised
my gaze to his. He was standing before my chair, staring at me with
concern etched in his frown. For a moment, I considered lying,
shrugging his question away, but I needed to speak with someone
before I burst.

“Do you believe I am betraying Ben,” I swallowed the
lump rising in my throat, “by allowing Andrew’s attention?”

Jack sat in the chair across from mine, leaning
forward to rest his arms on his knees. I looked away from Jack’s
intense stare.

“Did I ever tell you that Ben came
to see me on the day he died?” Jack asked, and my gaze
instantly
flew to his. I could not speak,
so I shook my head.

Jack clasped his hands, staring at
them. “He arrived at the camp, insisting that he was my brother and
had to see me. My commander knew Father, so he allowed me to meet
with Ben in his tent.” Jack rose and moved to lean an arm against
the fireplace mantle. “Ben was more than my closest friend.
He
was
my
brother.” Jack looked at me, and I saw the same turmoil in his eyes
that I had felt for three years. “Not many people knew how much he
truly loved you, Bess. He was good about hiding his feelings. We
all are.” Jack ran a hand through his hair. “He extracted a promise
from me, should anything happen to him I would do my utmost to see
you away from a life of danger. I am ashamed to say that I have
failed in my promise.” Jack knelt beside my chair and took my hand,
pressing it tight. “I know that you carry guilt for what happened
to Ben. It is why you work so hard for justice. Believe me when I
say, no one understands that more than I, but he would not want you
to blame yourself for what was never your fault. You know what his
motto was.”

“No revenge, no regrets,” I whispered, blinking away
the moisture building in my eyes.

“I believe it is time for us both
to put the regrets of the past to rest. Ben loved you, and he would
want—no,
demand
—
that you accept the happiness that
is being offered to you.” Jack gave a small laugh. “And you know
how adamant he could be when something riled him.”

Ben, Jack, and Ben’s brother Henry used to tell me
daily that I was high-handed in my demands, but on the rare
occasion when any of them was angry, there was no way but theirs,
and God save the fool who tried to argue.

“Ben wanted your freedom and happiness more than
anything else in the world. So lay Ben to rest, and marry Andrew,
if that is what you want. Live out the rest of your life free and
happy, knowing that Ben’s blessing is upon you because it is, for
now and for always.”

Inhaling a long breath, I knew that everything Jack
said was the truth. I knew it deep in my soul. It was time for me
to lay the past, the guilt, and the regrets to rest. It was time
for me not just to exist, but to live.

***

Andrew had only stayed away two days before he sent
a note asking Jack and I to meet him at the State House for the
tour of the museum. Edith was at our house, so she accompanied
us.

Andrew was waiting outside the large brick
structure, and when he saw us, he smiled. The cut over his lip was
all but healing, and the bruise around his eye had lightened to
green and purple, but at least he could open it. He offered his arm
to me and led us into the building and up the wide staircase to the
second floor. There we were met by Mr. Charles Peale and his
son.

Mr. Peale, a man in his seventies who leaned heavily
on his ebony cane, greeted us kindly before guiding us into the
first room, answering any questions we had.

We entered upon a room filled with large preserved
beasts, some I had never seen nor heard of. A bison, elk, anteater,
grizzly bear, llama, and many monkeys were among the group. Jack’s
eyes were alight with intrigue. He was not only a great reader, but
he enjoyed learning. Edith, dear girl, shrank back from the beasts
with their black, lifeless eyes that looked straight at you.

We were led into the long room that
was aptly named, for cases that, by what Mr. Peale said, were
filled with
over one thousand birds of all
shapes, sizes, and colors and ran almost the length of the room.
Backgrounds had been painted to match the birds to their natural
surroundings. It was an overwhelming and impressive collection, one
which I had never seen. Jack had been to view the museum a few
times, but never when Mr. Peale was giving the tour.