Phase (Phoebe Reede: The Untold Story #1) (33 page)

“Hi,” I breathed, trying to fight the nerves. The guy had seen me naked, and yet inviting him in like this—bringing him into the personal space of my bedroom even just by camera—felt like a leap to the next level. Exactly what I’d been trying to avoid when I’d run from Georgia.

His smile lifted in the slow way it did, blossoming across his features until everything lit up. “Howdy.”

“You’re early.”

“You’re beautiful.”

“You’re sucking up already?”

“I just wanted to remind ya of that in case no one else had today.”

My bedroom door swung open behind me. “Are you talking to your boyfriend?” Brock teased in a loud, sing-song voice.

I jolted around and threw my pillow at him. “Fuck off, Brock.”

Brock shot me an evil smile and swung off the door. “Mum! Phoebe swore at me.”

“Phoebe, don’t swear at your brother. Brock, leave your sister alone, you know she’s waiting for an important call,” Mum said as she swept past my door, leading Brock away as she did. A second later, my door closed.

Fuck my life.
This was exactly the reason I’d wanted the memories of the States to be separate from my home life. I was certain I’d turn back to the screen and see Beau either annoyed at the interruption or just gone.

Instead, he looked like he was trying not to laugh.

My eyes pinched. “Don’t.” Even as I said the word, my lips twitched in response to his amusement.

He sniggered and offered his best innocent expression. “Don’t what, darlin’?”

I was sure my face was beet red. “It’s not funny.”

“It’s kinda funny.”

“It’s really not.”

“So you’re waitin’ for an important call from your boyfriend?”

I buried my head in my hands. “I’m going to kill him.”

“He looks a lot like ya.”

I was sure Beau had selected his words to draw me back into the conversation when I just felt like cringing under the covers, and I was willing to go along with him. “Brock? Nah, he takes after Dad way more than I do.”

“Y’all got the same colored eyes.”

“Yeah, we were the unfortunate two who inherited Dad’s eyes.”

“I’d disagree on the unfortunate part. I love your eyes.” The way he said it made my stomach clench and I bit my lip.

“It’s just they’re so unique, you know? It’s hard to hide them. Everyone else got Mum’s light-brown colour. Much more . . . normal. Hang on.” I reached behind my laptop to get the most recent photo I had of my family. “See? That’s Mum and Dad, and Brock, Beth, Parker, and the baby is Nikki.” It was only when I’d pointed each one out that I realised how lame I was being. “Fuck, I’m sorry. You called to talk to me and I’m doing show and fucking tell.”

“Don’t be sorry, darlin’. I told ya I want to know ya. I want to know all about ya. No more hidin’. No more coy. ’Kay?”

My lips were aching from how huge my smile was, and how long it’d stayed plastered across my face. “Okay.”

“Now, what else do ya got to show me? Anything else near where that photo was?” The corners of his lips curled up into a cheeky grin.

“No, why?” I leaned over to put the photo back. “What do you think—”

I’d pulled halfway back to my lying position when I saw the path of his gaze. His eyes lifted when he heard my voice stop.

“Oh, I see your game,” I teased.

“Hmm, well, I can’t lie and say I wasn’t enjoying the view.”

“You’re terrible. Skyping younger women just to ogle their goodies.”

He chuckled and raised his hands in surrender. “Guilty, ya honour.”

“God, I miss you. Even now, I can see you, and talk to you, but it’s not enough.” I didn’t voice my other thought, that the longing ache I felt in my limbs was exactly what I’d worried about when I’d left him in Georgia. Part of me had known if we kept in contact, we’d reach a point where the little we had wasn’t enough. I hadn’t expected it to be during our first online date.

“I know, darlin’, me too. I didn’t ’spect for it to be this hard.”

“It’s always going to be like this though, isn’t it? More and more longing, a greater regret, and then we’re going to drift apart.”

“That don’t have to be the way.”

“Of course it does.”

He looked like he was going to argue, but then he stopped and grew thoughtful. “Ya know what I wish more than anythang?”

“What?”

“I wish I knew that woulda been our last night together.”

My expression fell. We had to talk about it sooner or later, but I’d been hoping for later. Or never. Either one worked for me.

“Hear me out, darlin’. I just woulda held ya a little tighter. Kissed ya a little longer. Done everything in my power to make sure ya remembered me and the way we were together.”

I picked at the doona, playing with a loose thread. “I remember,” I murmured, unable to meet his gaze. “I remember everything.” I looked up at him through my lashes. “I don’t think I’ll ever forget. Your fingerprints are branded on my—”

A knock on my door cut me off. I sighed as the moment passed.

“Give me a minute,” I said to Beau before climbing off the bed. I opened the door a little, not wanting to give anyone the chance to intrude.

Beth stood in the hallway, swaying shyly from side to side. “Pheebs, I heard voices in your room.”

“Yeah, I’m on the phone.” It wasn’t exactly accurate, but it was close enough.

“But I heard someone else talking.”

Why didn’t I just use headphones?
Next time. That was definitely on the agenda. “Yeah, I’m on the phone on my computer. On Skype, like we do with Dad when he’s away for races. Or like you and me have.”

“Who are you talking to?”

There was no way I could juggle the conversation with her and Beau at the same time. “If I let you say hello, will you go straight back to bed?”

She grinned and nodded.

I’m sorry, Beau
, I thought as I opened my door and let her in. She ran straight across to my bed, jumping onto it at the last second and almost sending my laptop flying.

“Sorry, I have someone desperate to say hello, even though it’s way past her bedtime.”

“Howdy,” he said, giving her one of his charming smiles. “Ya must be Beth. Phoebe’s tol’ me all ’bout ya.”

He scored some major brownie points for remembering her name.

Beth giggled. “You talk funny.”

“Beth, that’s not very polite. I let you come in here to talk to my friend and that’s how you act?”

Her smiled dropped into a frown. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s a’ight, li’l lady, I ’spect I do sound funny ta ya,” Beau said, putting his accent on more than ever. “In fact, y’all over there sound funny ta me.”

“Even Phoebe?”

“Especially Phoebe,” he said with a wink. “She’s got the cutest dang accent of the lot.”

Beth giggled again and started to say something else.

“I think that’s enough, missy,” I said, cutting her off. If she got on a roll, she’d be there all night, and Mum would already freak if she found out Beth wasn’t asleep yet. “You’ve got school in the morning.”

“But I wanna—”

“Bethany Eden Reede. Bed. Now.”

She opened her mouth again.

“No buts,” I said to stop any further argument before it could come.

“Fine.”

“Night, li’l miss,” Beau said, giving her a little wave.

I caught her on her way past and kissed her cheek. “Night, Bethie.”

“Whatever.” She pulled out of my hold, clearly unhappy with me for kicking her out of the room.

As I closed the door behind her, I shook my head. Clearly she was coming into her teen ’tude too. Just what the house needed—another Reede filled with raging hormones.

“Sorry about that,” I said as I got comfortable on my bed. “Thank you for being sweet to her.”

“Ain’t no bother. She’s a li’l sweetheart, just like her big sis.”

“She has her moments. Do you see now why I needed some time to myself? This is what it’s like here. All. The. Time.”

He chuckled. “Well, if ya ever need more time alone, I happen to know a really good, really private bed and breakfast in Georgia.”

“Is that an invite to share your bed, cowboy?”

“Darlin’, that invitation is open-ended, but ya can even stay in a hotel room there if ya like.”

“You don’t know how tempting that is.”

A smile lit his face.

“But it’s impossible. The holiday I just had is really the last I can take for a while. Between my last few races, jumping in as co-driver for the enduros later in the season, my apprenticeship, and everything else I have between now and the end of the year, I’m booked pretty solid for the next six months.”

“I understand. It’s like ya said, my schedule keeps me busy, and yours is just as bad.”

“Yeah. Now do you see why I didn’t want to open ourselves up to these wounds? Why I tried to leave it where it was.”

“They’re set backs, that’s all. Temporary, darlin’. If it’s meant to be, we’ll get through it.”

“Are you—”

Nikki’s cry pierced the night, rolling through the house.

“Fuck. I need my own place.”

“Do ya need to go?”

“No, Mum or Dad will get her. It just never stops, you know?” I probably sounded like an arsehole to him, like I hated my family. It wasn’t that, not at all. Just that I was getting older and felt like it was time to be starting my own life, not still babysitting everyone else’s. “Sorry, it’s not fair to dump that on you.”

“Are ya kiddin’? This Skype session has been like gettin’ my eyes opened to the real you.”

“Yeah, this is me. Annoying siblings and all.” Despite wondering whether he was going to call the whole thing off in the next second, I cracked what I could of a smile.

“What I’ve seen is the girl I met here, but more. I still love ya, Phoebe. And if you’re willing to try the long-distance thang, I’m more than ready.”

“I want to, Beau. I really do.” I sighed.

His brow furrowed. “But?”

My heart leaped into my throat as I wrung my hands together. “I just don’t know if I’m cut out for it. This family, the way I grew up, it was—” I cut myself off with another sigh as I tried to find a way to articulate my concerns. “The best examples I have of loving couples, well the only ones really, are all openly affectionate. Even after being together for fifteen years, Mum and Dad can’t keep their hands to themselves most of the time. They’ve never done anything inappropriate in front of us of course, but they’ve never hidden that affection either. They kiss and cuddle in front of us. That’s what I want. I want to be able to hold the person I love when I tell them I love them.”

His frown deepened, and his lips turned down. I could practically see his thoughts running through his mind.

“And what future do we have? You have a career there. I have one here. It’s not like I can just up and leave. There are sponsorships in place. Contracts. My family. What we shared was stamped with an expiration date before it even began.” And he didn’t know the worst of it.

“Maybe we need to rewrite that date.”

“I don’t understand.”

“What I’m sayin’ is I hear all your concerns. And they’re all understandable, darlin’, but what I don’t hear is a genuine reason not to stay in contact. Maybe you’re right and we’re not destined to end up together, but that’s no reason to deny me the chance to stare into those beautiful eyes of yours. Maybe I can’t hold ya like I long to. Or kiss ya like we did, but ain’t this better than nothing?”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m sayin’, don’t cut me out. At least, not because you’re afraid of us never goin’ anywhere. ’Cause here’s the thing ya gotta see: if we end this now, it definitely ain’t goin’ anywhere. At least this way, we have a chance.”

“Yeah, I guess. Maybe.”

“When ya called me earlier, you were pretty dang excited.”

“I thought you’d hate me for running like I did. The parcel proved you didn’t.”

“And how’d that make ya feel.”

A dreamy smile lifted my lips.

“Precisely, darlin’,” he said, not missing it. “That’s how I feel when I think of you too. Even if I do miss ya something dreadful.”

“Okay. So you’re telling me to stop overthinking it,” I confirmed.
Easy.
I sighed.

“Exactly. But I do have to go now; I’m already runnin’ late for work.”

“Shit. Sorry I kept you on for so long.”

“Don’t be, darlin’, this was worth being tardy for. Can I call ya at the same time tomorrow?”

It went against every logical part in my body—the bits of me that didn’t want to get hurt when it inevitably exploded in our faces—but I nodded and smiled. “Please.”

“’Til tomorrow then, Phoebe.”

Fuck, my name sounded a thousand times better in his voice. I said goodbye as well and signed off. After I’d packed my laptop away, I sat on my bed and wondered whether I’d made the best decision of my life or the worst.