Phase (Phoebe Reede: The Untold Story #1) (30 page)

Before I could even react, he’d crossed the room, swept me off the bed, and had me pinned against the wall.

My breath caught in my throat as I looked down at Beau’s strong features.

“Why’d ya do it?” he asked, his voice gravelled and pained.

“You know why,” I said.

He silenced me with a punishing kiss that flared through my body. Every part of me responded as desire flooded through me. The instant I kissed him back, he pulled away.

“You don’t deserve that.”

“Beau?”

“You’re poison. How could ya do it?”

The heat of desire drained away, replaced instantly by a chill that sank deep into my bones.

“We could’ve been perfect, you and me.” His tone was accusatory and made me want to back away. Only there was no escape. “But you’re a coward.”

“No. That’s not it, I—”

He sneered at me and grabbed my shoulders, shoving me against the wall. As he did, Beau disappeared, only to be replaced by me. It was my hands on my shoulders, pushing me against the wall. My mirror image holding me captive.

“Coward!” she shouted as she shoved me again.

I jolted awake with a scream. On the TV, some woman was wailing on about someone who broke her heart, or someone whose heart she’d broken. I couldn’t follow it because the pounding of my heartbeat in my ears blocked out the sound. My tongue was three sizes too big in my parched mouth, and my eyes stung from crying myself to sleep.

“You’re a fucking mess,” I muttered to myself as I dropped my head back down onto the pillow and tried to go back to sleep.

Early the next morning, I gave up any attempt for more sleep and checked out of the motel, ready to get back on the road again.

STANDING IN THE terminal at the airport, I felt like my entire world had fallen apart. I had my passport and boarding pass in hand, my bag checked and ready to go back to LA before heading on to Australia, and yet I felt like nothing more than running back to the freighting company where I’d dropped the bike off an hour earlier and demanding it back.

If I did that, I could find the piece of me I’d left behind. By the time morning came again, I could be back with Beau.

Just as the compulsion to rush back to him somehow was at its bursting point, I heard a familiar squeal.

Glancing in the direction of the sound, I saw Angel’s smiling face. One glance at her joyful expression and I broke down. By the time she reached me, I was a sobbing mess.

“Oh, girlie, what happened? Don’t tell me someone hurt you or I’ll have to hunt them down. Fuck, your daddy is going to kill me.”

I shook my head. “No one hurt me,” I whispered, unable to find any volume. “I—” My sobs stole my voice entirely.

Angel dropped her bag on the ground and took me in her arms, drawing my head to her breast. I treated her as a substitute for Mum and held her while I let my rage and sorrow battle for release. When I was finally able to compose myself, she brushed her hand over my head. “I’ve just got to check my bags, but then we’re getting hot chocolates and talking some more, okay?”

I nodded.

“Are you going to be all right until I get back?”

I shrugged. I couldn’t lie to her and say yes. While she joined the queue to check her bags, I reached into my carry-on and grabbed my mobile. For the first time since I’d called home from Beau’s, I turned it on. There were a few messages from Mum and Dad. I sent a reply letting them know I’d hit New York safely and was getting ready to board the plane back to LA. I didn’t need to tell them the rest. When I pushed Send, I thought about the fact that I’d given Beau back the one thing I had that might have enabled me to contact him again.

You could always google him.
I tried to ignore the little voice that niggled in my mind. I’d left for a reason. If we stayed in touch, we’d fester. Everything good that we’d had would slowly turn into reasons to resent each other. The distance would be our death knell.

Even as I had the thought, I glanced around—seeking out familiar eyes and sandy-brown hair. Part of me was convinced he’d try to follow me to the airport. That same part wanted him to. For a good fifteen minutes, I watched every person I could see, examining any potentials in depth just in case. His name was on my lips and ready to be called the instant I spotted him.

I shrieked as someone linked arms with me, calming almost instantly when I met Angel’s concerned gaze.

She kept her questions and comments in check until we’d made it through security and found a small coffee shop to order some hot chocolates. We grabbed a table, sitting close enough to each other that I could lean my shoulder on hers and draw comfort from her while I prepared to tell my story.

“Who is he?” she asked.

“What?”

“Well, someone or something has you knotted up and I can only assume it’s a guy. A summer fling maybe? Did you take my advice?”

At her words, I burst into tears again. “It—it was more than that,” I said. “But less all at the same time.”

“You’ve lost me; let’s start at the beginning.”

“His name’s Beau.”

“Beau? You mean barfly Beau that you met in Sacramento?”

“Yeah.” I smiled through my tears. “We kinda kept in touch a little and he begged me to spend a few days with him, and I did.”

“You didn’t?” she asked. Her tone and wide eyes made it clear that she wasn’t asking whether I’d gone to his place or not, but rather whether I’d handed in my V-card.

I nodded.

“Oh, God, Pheebs, this is huge.” She hugged me. “Are congratulations in order? Or do we write out a memorial card? I don’t know the appropriate way to celebrate.”

Her words had their no doubt desired effect of drawing a laugh out of me.

“Seriously though, how was it?”

My mind replayed image after image. “It was . . . perfect.”

“Tell me all about it. Spare me no detail. I want to live vicariously through you. How did you meet again? What happened?”

I gave her a rundown on everything that happened from the time he almost spilled my drink until our reunion at the Fun Spot.

“I gave him a fake name.”

“Harsh, but I can understand. After all, you’ve always had a bit of a trust issue when it comes to boys. Did you fess up in the end? You never could lie. Not for long.”

I told her about the phone calls, about the sweet things Beau had done and said, about the trip to his hometown, and everything that happened there. I didn’t spare any details because we never had before and it felt cathartic to get it out.

At one point in my tale, a pair of old ladies chose to sit near us, but it was clear they were within earshot when they stood up, gave me a filthy look, and then stalked away.

By the time I finished the story of the way things just worked between Beau and me, Angel was grinning.

“It sounds bloody perfect,” she said. “And doesn’t explain the tears.”

“I left him yesterday without saying goodbye.”

“You didn’t!”

“I couldn’t face him, Angel. He’s got these eyes . . . and this smile.” My lips curled upward as I said the word. “And when I’m in his arms, I just feel . . . well, I feel like I’ve found my home in the world.”

“Oh my God! You don’t just have it bad, you love him.”

My smile fell and tears pricked my eyes again. “Is it that obvious?”

“Honey, I know you. I’ve seen you crushing on boys, I’ve seen you frustrated as hell with their attitudes, but I’ve never seen you so knotted up from the inside.” She wrapped both her arms around me and I rested my head on her collarbone. “Why aren’t there more guys like that at home?”

A bark of laughter left me. “Why aren’t there more guys like that, period?”

“Truth. So is our night of fireworks a possibility again now?”

“Give me a few weeks to get over this first, and I’ll be all over it.”

“You and I both know you’re not going to be over this in a week. You’re too much like—”

“My dad, yeah, I know.”

“I’ll bring you all the ice cream you want. I’ll have to take it easy on it though.”

“Why’s that?”

“’Cause I’ve got a job!” she squealed.

“Oh, fuck, Angel, you should have said. Here I am rabbiting on about my heartbreak, and you’ve got good news. Tell me all about it.”

We spent the rest of the time before we had to board going over the role she’d been offered as a spokesperson for a swimwear line back home in Australia.

“It’s crazy isn’t it? I have to go all the way to the States to get a job back home,” she said as we moved to the gate when the airline called our boarding group.

Our flight from New York to Los Angeles was fairly cruisy, even if I did have to force myself to think about anything but Beau. Trying to find something else to concentrate on ended with me telling Angel all about my adventures while criss-crossing the US and her teasing me about being an adrenaline junky in return.

The wait in LAX for our flight home, and then the flight home, were a little more unbearable, especially after Angel slipped into sleep mode, putting in her earbuds and slipping on a mask. The time alone left me with too much time to think. To turn every memory, every moment, over in my head.

By the time she woke from her nap, I was in tears again.

“God, I’m pathetic,” I said.

She held me tighter as she promised me I wasn’t.

It was only when the announcements came that we were almost ready to prepare for landing in Brisbane that it hit me that I was almost home. I sat up a little straighter as the excitement of that thought ran through me.

“You’re looking a little more chipper,” Angel said, watching me from the corner of her eyes.

“I get to see everyone soon. I mean, Mum, Dad, Nikki, all of them! I’m just really excited for that.”

She nodded, offered me a smile, and turned back to her movie.

Once the plane had landed and we’d fought our way through baggage collections and customs, we were finally free. Home.

Angel nudged my shoulder. “You know it’ll work itself out, don’t you? The whole Beau thing, I mean.”

“What’s to work out? We’re done. Over.”

“Maybe.”

“Angel, this isn’t some romantic comedy movie where he’ll make some grand gesture to prove that we can overcome anything. He lives thousands of kilometres away. Our schedules will conflict more than they’d align. It’s just not practical.”

“Okay.” She didn’t sound convinced.

“It’s not.” I wasn’t sure whether I was more concerned with convincing her, or myself. “Even if he does google me and manages to track me down, what then? A few hours on the phone when we can? It just wouldn’t be enough.”

“All or nothing. I get it.”

“It’s not like I can just put everything on hold and move over there to find out whether there’s a chance we could make it without the bullshit of distance.”

“No, definitely not.” She fixed me with an icy stare, her emerald green irises sparkling. “It’s not like you have a transferable skill that can be done pretty much anywhere in the world. Or that there’s an entire sport in his country dedicated to your exact skill. Oh, wait, there is,” she said with a raised brow.

“Pulling out your sarcasm doesn’t change anything. What about my family?”

“They’d miss you, sure, but I’m pretty sure they’d want you to be happy?”

“Yeah, but—” I cut myself off when I couldn’t think of another argument against her suggestion. It wouldn’t work. It wasn’t possible. Was it? “It doesn’t matter anyway. I took the walk of shame, and he probably hates me right now.”

She shrugged. “I’m just saying, don’t rule it out entirely. Let your heart lead for once.”

“You’re so much better at that than I am though.”

“I wouldn’t say that. My heart’s never led me into the bed of a sexy cowboy.”

I glanced around. “You wanna say that a little louder? I’m not sure they heard you in the long-term parking bay.”

“It’s not like your—”

“Daddy!” I screamed when I spotted him through the crowd. My feet moved faster as I raced toward him. Halfway to him, I saw the pram in front of him. Nikki was there too. I craned my neck and saw Brock, Beth, and Parker.

Once I’d spotted them all, nothing could hold me back. If it wasn’t for the suitcase I was dragging behind me, I would have sprinted to them. As it was, I raced as fast as the suitcase wheels would allow me to go. When they spotted me, Beth and Parker both charged to meet me too.

When they were close, I dropped into a crouch and threw my arms out to catch them both. “I missed you guys so much,” I said as I held them to me.

“We missed you too, Phoebe,” Beth said, resting her cheek on my collarbone.

Parker got bored first, pulling himself from my arms and wandering back over to Dad.

“C’mon,” I said as I let go of Beth. “I need to say hi to everyone else too.”

She clutched my hand, and I used the other to drag the suitcase behind me.

I let her hand go when I was close to Dad. When he pulled me into a hug, I took the same position Beth had with me, resting my head over his collarbone. “I missed you, Daddy,” I said.

“Me too, baby. Everyone’s glad you’re home.”

“Where’s Mum?”

“I’m right here,” her voice called from beside me.

“Mum!” I let go of Dad and gave Mum the same type of hug.

“I had to escort someone to the little boys’ room,” she said as she wrapped her arms around me.

“I’m not a little boy,” Max grumbled. “And I told you I didn’t need an escort.”

Mum let me go and cast him a stern look. “When you’re in our house, you live by our rules. Anyone under the age of sixteen gets an escort, especially in places as big as this. If you were lost, your parents would never forgive me.”