Philip Van Doren Stern (ed) (22 page)

"I
think
I
must
have
had
a
kind
of
frenzy.
I
remember
running violently
in
and
out
among
the
moonlit
bushes
all
round
the
sphinx, and
startling
some
white
animal
that,
in
the
dim
light,
I
took
for
a small
deer.
I
remember,
too,
late
that
night,
beating
the
bushes
with my
clenched
fists
until
my
knuckles
were
gashed
and
bleeding
from the
broken
twigs.
Then,
sobbing
and
raving
in
my
anguish
of
mind, I
went
down
to
the
great
building
of
stone.
The
big
hall
was
dark, silent,
and
deserted.
I
slipped
on
the
uneven
floor,
and
fell
over
one of
the
malachite
tables,
almost
breaking
my
shin.
I
lit
a
match
and went
on
past
the
dusty
curtains,
of
which
I
have
told
you.

"There
I
found
a
second
great
hall
covered
with
cushions,
upon which,
perhaps,
a
score
or
so
of
the
little
people
were
sleeping.
I
have no
doubt
they
found
my
second
appearance
strange
enough,
coming suddenly
out
of
the
quiet
darkness
with
inarticulate
noises
and
the splutter
and
flare
of
a
match.
For
they
had
forgotten
about
matches. 'Where
is
my
Time
Machine?'
I
began,
bawling
like
an
angry
child, laying
hands
upon
them
and
shaking
them
up
together.
It
must
have been
very
queer
to
them.
Some
laughed,
most
of
them
looked
sorely frightened.
When
I
saw
them
standing
round
me,
it
came
into
my head
that
I
was
doing
as
foolish
a
thing
as
it
was
possible
for
me
to do
under
the
circumstances,
in
trying
to
revive
the
sensation
of
fear. For,
reasoning
from
their
daylight
behaviour,
I
thought
that
fear
must be
forgotten.

"Abruptly,
I
dashed
down
the
match,
and,
knocking
one
of
the people
over
in
my
course,
went
blundering
across
the
big
dining-hall again,
out
under
the
moonlight.
I
heard
cries
of
terror
and
their
little feet
running
and
stumbling
this
way
and
that.
I
do
not
remember
all I
did
as
the
moon
crept
up
the
sky.
I
suppose
it
was
the
unexpected nature
of
my
loss
that
maddened
me.
I
felt
hopelessly
cut
off
from my
own
kind—a
strange
animal
in
an
unknown
world.
I
must
have raved
to
and
fro,
screaming
and
crying
upon
God
and
Fate.
I
have
a memory
of
horrible
fatigue,
as
the
long
night
of
despair
wore
away;
of looking
in
this
impossible
place
and
that;
of
groping
among
moonlit ruins
and
touching
strange
creatures
in
the
black
shadows;
at
last,
of lying
on
the
ground
near
the
sphinx
and
weeping
with
absolute wretchedness.
I
had
nothing
left
but
misery.
Then
I
slept,
and
when I
woke
again
it
was
full
day,
and
a
couple
of
sparrows
were
hopping round
me
on
the
turf
within
reach
of
my
arm.