Phoenix (24 page)

ASH

I ROLL OVER
in the bed and wipe a hand over my face, trying to rub the sleep away. The light coming
through the window shutters suggests it’s just after sunrise. I gaze around the room,
confused for a moment where I am, then remember I’m in one of the Dacian caravans.
It’s a long, thin wagon with a curved wooden roof painted scarlet and emerald green,
and tie-dyed fabrics draped over all the surfaces.

The other side of the bed is empty, the pillow cool. I pull on my clothes and go outside
in search of Natalie. The glade is already brimming with life as the clan elders prepare
for tomorrow’s attack on the Sentry. Sol is by the fire pit with several of his men,
cleaning a pile of rifles and swords by their feet and loading the guns with ammo,
while Gilderoy and Miranda laugh and chat with each other as they shoot glass bottles
off a fallen log, their aim deadly accurate. I can’t see Pandora, so I assume she’s
already gone into Thrace to infiltrate the news station. I hope she succeeds, as it’s
an important part of the plan.

Natalie, Elijah and Madame Clara are sitting on the steps of a nearby caravan, drinking
cups of tea. Natalie looks tired and pale, and I don’t think it’s just from a hangover.
It’s more like a weariness that’s enveloped her whole body. I’m stunned by how skinny
she’s looking. I didn’t notice it yesterday, when we were in the bedroom at Madame
Clara’s, but my mind was on other things at the time.

Giselle steps out of the green caravan next to me, wearing the same bright yellow
dress as yesterday, although today she’s got some peacock feathers woven into her
auburn hair. They shimmer turquoise in the sunlight, matching the makeup lining her
startling eyes. Her smiling lips are painted gold, and her cheeks flush slightly when
she sees me. She hasn’t made any attempt to hide her attraction toward me, and you
know what? I like it. It’s nice to feel wanted by somebody, even if it isn’t the girl
I love.

“They seem cozy,” Giselle says, nodding toward Elijah and Natalie.

I follow her gaze. Elijah’s hand is now resting on Natalie’s back, his thumb moving
in small circles against her spine. She edges away and he lowers his hand, but it’s
too late, the damage is done. My insides are completely shredded. I need to get out
of here.

“I’m going into the city to do some recon,” I say.

“I’ll join you.” Giselle quickly fetches some robes from the caravan, and we head
into the city.

* * *

A few hours later, we’re in the heart of Thrace. The city is in chaos. Doors are smashed,
shutters are up on windows, and some of the buildings are on fire. I keep an eye out
for any taverns that might be the Moon Star, but see none that could fit the bill.
We do pass one tavern with an enormous crescent moon–shaped, solar panel on the top
of its intricately tiered roof, but I can’t see the star anywhere, so I discount it.
Sentry trucks roll through the near-empty streets while Lupine packs barge into homes
and emerge with whole families, who kick and scream as they’re dragged to Spice Square,
where the Transporters are waiting to take them up to the Destroyer Ships.

Giselle and I climb onto the roof of a building overlooking Spice Square, to get a
better view of the plaza. The place is buzzing with activity. I count six Transporters,
plus eight trucks. Sentry guards load supplies off the vehicles and carry them into
the city hall, where they’ve set up their base camp.

Across the square, a giant digital screen broadcasts the latest news from SBN. My
image is on all the monitors as the news channel runs a report on my supposed death.
It’s all the same information as yesterday, which is comforting—they don’t mention
Amy or Stuart, so I can only assume they’re still alive somewhere. SBN replays Nick’s
death on a constant loop in the bottom right-hand corner of the screen. Every time
I see the bomb explode, I wince, feeling it.

The broadcast flicks off, and the countdown clock returns, letting us know how much
time we have left. Sixty-three hours, twenty-eight minutes. It’s not much time to
prepare a full-scale assault on the Sentry, especially without Roach and the rest
of Humans for Unity to help me.

Giselle edges a little closer to me as we lie on the rooftop and watch the Sentry
guards loading the prisoners onto the Transporters in the town square below us. As
in Black City, Evacuation Passes are being issued to citizens when they hand over
their captives to the guards. It makes me sick that people are so willing to turn
over their neighbors, but it does mean the city will be relatively deserted by the
time we start our attack, so casualties will be kept to a minimum.

“This is where we’ll stage the attack tomorrow,” I say. “We’ll strike at noon, when
the guards are changing shifts, so there are few people on the ground.”

We stay on the rooftop for as long as we dare, watching the guards and trying to work
out their shift patterns. There appear to be only around a hundred guards on the ground
at any one time. The rest stay up in the Destroyer Ships. Anger boils up inside me
when Sebastian, Garrick, Sasha and the Moondog in the red leather frock coat, Jared,
walk down the steps of Thrace City Hall. Sebastian’s dressed in his black Tracker
uniform, while Garrick and Sasha are in their usual gray jackets, pants and steel-capped
boots. Garrick scowls as he surveys the scene, his silvery eyes glinting beneath his
heavy brow. He tilts his head up, sniffing the air. His head turns in our direction.

We scramble off the roof before he spots us. Not wanting to push our luck any more,
we hurry back to the forest to meet up with the others. Madame Clara sits with Lucas
and the other children around the bonfire, sewing hoods onto black robes, while Natalie
and Elijah prepare lunch. There’s a big pile of apples beside them, which they’re
in the process of peeling. Relief crosses Natalie’s features when she sees us. She
races over to me and flings her arms around my neck. For a moment, it’s how things
used to be, and I draw her close, my heart aching.

“I was so worried,” she says. “You didn’t tell me you were going.”

“Sorry,” I murmur against her cheek. “It won’t happen again.”

She looks up, and I think she’s going to kiss me. But then she catches sight of Elijah
watching us and pulls away. The brief moment of joy I felt evaporates, and the hollowness
returns.

We join the others. While I tell them what we saw in the city, Giselle plucks a shiny
green apple from the pile beside Elijah and polishes it with the cuff of her yellow
dress.

Natalie throws her an annoyed look. “Those are for lunch.”

“So? If you want something, you should just take it.” Giselle slides a look at me,
her gray eyes gleaming mischievously as she takes a bite out of the apple.

Natalie gets to her feet, wiping her hands on her dress. “I’m going for a walk.”

She pushes past me and heads to the other side of the glade. Elijah gets up and follows
her.

“Was it something I said?” Giselle says innocently.

I frown, a little annoyed at Giselle for upsetting Natalie, but secretly a little
pleased that Natalie’s jealous. It proves she still has some feelings for me.

We spend the rest of the day getting everything organized for tomorrow’s assault on
Thrace. Just as the sun starts to set, a group of women return from the city holding
piles of folded blue cloth. I run my hand over the cerulean material, which reminds
me so much of Natalie’s eyes. That’s why I picked the color, not that anyone knows
this.

Neptune comes over to me.

“I have news from Pandora. She’s gotten inside the station, and everything’s been
set up. She’ll stay there to oversee things tomorrow.”

I nod, relieved. That was the final piece of the puzzle we had to put into place.
There’s nothing more to do now except wait. Tomorrow we take back Thrace.

* * *

By the time we’re finished, night has fallen. Everyone congregates around the bonfire
for dinner. The children play around the fire as if they have no worries in the world,
while the adults solemnly drink glasses of spiced Shine, knowing that many of us could
be dead within the next twenty-four hours. I glance at Natalie, who is sitting on
the log bench with Elijah. They both just gaze at the fire, quiet and contemplative.
Sensing me looking, Natalie turns her head toward me. My heart clenches.

An old man with a tattoo of a mermaid on his arm has an accordion with him, and he
starts to play a folk tune, his fingers nimbly running across the keys. The children
spin and dance in time with the music. Madame Clara and Giselle clap along, while
a few of the men go and fetch instruments from their caravans and join the old man.
One by one, people get up and dance, clearly grateful for the distraction.

Natalie smiles as she watches everyone, her blue eyes glimmering in the firelight.
She looks a little better than earlier, now that she’s had time to rest. Elijah stands
up and stretches a hand out to her. She hesitates, then takes it.

A familiar ache spreads through my chest at the sight of them dancing. He’s very good
at it, but I guess as the Consul’s son, he has time to learn these things. They get
a lot of admiring glances from the others, not just because of the ease with which
they move, but because they look good together. Great, in fact. He twirls Natalie
around, and she throws her head back and laughs, a sound I haven’t heard since her
birthday.
The night I proposed.

A new tune begins, led by the drums. The music fills the night sky with its animalistic
beat. Nearby, Giselle spins and swirls in time to the rhythm, her yellow dress and
red hair fanning around her until she looks like the flames of the bonfire. She catches
my eye, and a smirk plays across her lips. She provocatively beckons me toward her.
I look jealously at Natalie and Elijah.

Two can play this game.

I walk over to Giselle and take her in my arms, dancing with her to the exotic music,
our bodies swaying in unison. I cup a hand around her waist, pulling her hard against
me. She lets out a small gasp, her silvery eyes sparkling mischievously.

I look at Natalie. She frowns, her eyes fixed on me as Elijah twirls her around in
circles.

The music deepens into something slower, more sensual. Giselle’s fingers lace through
my hair, causing a sensory overload as she grinds against me. Her lips are so close
to mine. All it will take is one misstep, and we’ll kiss. Giselle’s cheeks flush;
her eyes dilate. I’ve seen the same reaction from Hazers after a hit.
Lust.
Fragg, it feels good to be
wanted.

My hand runs down Giselle’s back, toward the curve at the end of her spine, but all
the time my focus is on Natalie. Anger flits across her face, and she wraps her arms
around Elijah’s neck. He moans, pulling her closer to him. In retaliation, I dip Giselle,
lightly running my hand down her voluptuous body. She shivers with delight, her lips
parting. I pick her up and whirl her around in time to the music. She lets out a joyful
laugh of delight, her eyes glimmering. Her intent is clear, and I’m tempted, even
if it is just to make Natalie suffer for the way she’s hurt me.

Elijah holds Natalie close, his hands caressing her body, his face pressed against
hers, his eyes closed. He looks lost, enraptured. In love. Pain rips through me. It’s
too much. I release Giselle, defeated, and storm away from the dance floor, away from
Natalie.

I head straight for my caravan, my whole body shaking with anger. I sink down on the
bed, my chest heaving. I think I’m dying, unable to breathe.

“Are you okay?” Giselle says quietly from the doorway.

“She’s leaving me for
him,
” I admit, my voice splintering. “I don’t know what to do.”

“You can’t control her heart, Ash.”

“I know,” I say. “But I can’t control mine either, and I love her so much, it’s killing
me.”

Giselle pads over to the bed and hugs me. Her body is soft, warm, inviting. She smells
of rose water.

“I want her back,” I whisper.

“There’s still a chance,” Giselle replies. “You just need to remind her why she fell
in love with you. In the meantime—” She presses her lips against mine. Her kiss is
fire, burning hot, exciting, teasing. She pulls away. “You’re a catch, Ash. If she
doesn’t see that, then she’s a fool.”

She winks at me, leaving the caravan. The door swings shut behind her, but not before
I catch a glimpse of Natalie running into the forest.

NATALIE

“NATALIE, WAIT!”

I slow down so Elijah can catch up with me. He’s carrying a small oil lantern, the
light bouncing as he runs. My pulse is racing, my head pounding. Everything is spinning;
sky, trees and earth all blend into each other. My knees buckle, and Elijah grabs
me before I fall.

“He kissed her,” I manage to say as the tears start to fall.

“I know,” Elijah replies quietly. “I saw it too.”

“Why did he do it?”

“Because he’s in pain. He thinks you have feelings for me.” He tilts my face up, and
his eyes search mine. “Do you?”

I flush. “Elijah, I—”

Before I can finish my sentence, Elijah leans down and touches his lips to mine. His
kiss is confident but tender, his lips soft, sumptuous. He tastes like honey—sweet,
delicious. His tongue slips between my lips and lightly caresses my mouth, his touch
gentle and inquisitive. A breathy moan forms in my throat, and I part my lips further,
allowing him to fully explore me. My fingers twist through his fur-like hair, and
I press my body against his, needing the comfort.

The echo of a second heartbeat flutters inside my chest.
Ash,
it’s saying.
Ash, Ash, Ash.
What am I doing? I break off the kiss and bury my face in my hands, feeling so confused.
Eventually, I glance up. Elijah looks at me expectantly, waiting for my answer.

“I can’t . . . I don’t feel . . . Elijah, I’m so sorry,” I say.

The dappled moonlight shimmers across his skin, the gentle breeze ruffling his chocolate-brown
mane. In another time, another world, I could possibly fall for him. But that’s not
the reality I live in. There’s only room for one boy in my heart and soul, and that’s
Ash.

A muscle flexes in his square jaw. “It’s okay, Natalie. I knew it was a long shot,
but I had to try.”

There’s a snap of twigs, and a moment later, Ash and Giselle emerge from the darkness,
stopping a few feet away from us. There’s a challenging look in Ash’s sparkling eyes
as he waits for me to confront him. He knows I saw the kiss with Giselle. Did he see
mine with Elijah? We’re in an emotional standoff, everyone hurting, everyone betrayed,
all of us wanting someone we can’t have. And it’s my fault.

This needs to end now.

I unhook the gold chain from my neck and slide off the engagement ring. It glitters
in the starlight. It represents everything I want and everything I can never have.
Not anymore. I walk over to Ash and drop it into his hand. He studies the diamond
ring resting on his open palm, and a mixture of emotions flits across his face: bewilderment,
anger, grief.

Finally his fingers close around the ring.

It’s over.

“I’m going for walk,” I say flatly.

Elijah joins me. We’ve barely gone a hundred feet before I hear Ash howl.

* * *

The walk through the forest is one of the loneliest of my life, even though Elijah
is by my side. He holds the oil lantern, lighting our way. My whole body is numb,
and I welcome it. I don’t want to feel, because I know that as soon as I get over
the shock of what I’ve done, I’m going to break into a million pieces.

It’s no good, though. The cracks inside me splinter with every footstep, until I finally
shatter. I crumple to the earth. Strong arms hold me as I rock back and forth, letting
out a low-pitched wail.
What have I done?
“It was the right thing to do,” Elijah whispers to me. “At least now he can let you
go.”

He holds me for a long time, maybe an hour, maybe two, until we both begin to shiver
from the chilled night air. I rub my puffy, tearstained eyes and suck in a shaky breath.

“So what will you do now?” he asks gently.

“I’m going to head to Centrum to meet with the others, then find my mother,” I tell
Elijah.

I’ve been thinking about her a lot recently. I’ve had this aching need to see her,
to be comforted by her, to die in her arms. But I don’t even know where she is. She
could be dead, for all I know, although I suspect if she were, Purian Rose would’ve
splashed that all over SBN news.

“You can’t go now. What about the rebellion?” Elijah asks.

“The rebellion doesn’t need me.”

“I need you,” he replies.

My heart constricts. “Please don’t say that.”

I get up and Elijah springs to his feet. The Rainbow Forest is at the top of a steep
hill, so we get a wonderful view of the city as we come down the grassy slopes. Thousands
of solar panels glint in the moonlight, so the rooftops look like the stars above
us. Even at night, the Mirror City lives up to its reputation.

The effect is slightly ruined by the Destroyer Ships hovering overhead, their searchlights
scanning the dark streets. A light scans past the buildings on the rim of the city,
illuminating their glassy roofs, and something catches my eye. I stop and blink, uncertain
whether what I’m seeing is real or a figment of my imagination.

“Elijah, do you see it?”

“See what?” he asks.

I wait until the light passes the buildings again.

“There!” I say, pointing to a building with a star-shaped roof that tapers up into
a steeple. At the top of the spire is a glimmering solar panel cut into the shape
of a crescent moon.

“The Moon Star?” Elijah says, grinning.

I grab his hand. “Only one way to find out.”