Picking Up the Pieces (33 page)

Chapter 35: Lily

I knew there was no getting around telling Adam that Max was going to Shane’s bachelor party. Though I did manage to put it off for two weeks. I hadn't intended to wait that long, but I found that the time was just never right to have that conversation with him. Instead, I spent a ton of time thinking about all of the things I’d rather do than discuss it with him: donate a kidney without anesthesia, go trolling for johns on the streets of Philadelphia, develop a crack habit, all sorts of things.

             
But I knew there was no getting around telling him, and delaying it only made my anxiety worse. So I finally decided to come clean as we sat at a local pizza joint sharing a pepperoni pie. I figured he wouldn’t kill me in public. Too many witnesses.

             
“Amanda’s bachelorette party is in two weeks,” I said shyly, my eyes looking at the slice as I put it to my mouth.

             
“Yeah, I know. That’ll be fun.”

             
“It definitely will. I haven’t been to Atlantic City in a long time.” I hadn’t anticipated using that as my segway into coming clean, but once it had tumbled out of my mouth, I decided to go with it.

             
Adam tensed, clearly remembering the conversation we’d had where I revealed all my indiscretions. That had been one of the most difficult discussions we’d ever had. Until now.

             
“Well, I hope this trip turns out differently from that one.” He was smiling, but it didn’t reach his eyes. I knew that masked behind his attempt at a joke, he was asking me for reassurance.

Guilt crept through me, causing my face to heat.
I wasn’t going to be able to set his mind at ease, and I felt horrible about it.

“Well it will definitely be different, though not as different as you’re probably hoping.”

Adam halted all movement, his slice of pizza hovering inches from his mouth. He stared at me curiously for a moment, before dropping the pizza back to his plate and resting his arms on the table. “What does that mean?”

“Shane invited Max to his bachelor party.”

“You’re joking, right?
You really need to tell me you’re fucking joking, Lily.”

I shook my head, but kept my eyes on his.
I needed him to see that I had nothing to hide this time. “I’m sorry, Adam. I didn’t know he was going to ask Max to go. He just did it.”

“And you’re still going to go?”
His eyes bore into me with a rage that I hadn’t seen since that day in my classroom almost exactly a year ago.

April is not a good month for us.
“I have to go. I’m the maid of honor.”

Adam stood abruptly.
“That’s perfect,” he said sardonically. “Have a great time. I . . . need some air. I'll meet you at the car." And with that, he turned and walked out.

I was stunned still for a second before I rose and rushed after him.
Good thing we already paid for the pizza.
I flung open the restaurant door and silently cursed the jingling of bells that sounded. How dare they sound so happy at a time like this. “Adam,” I called as I ran after him. He was almost to the car and didn’t bother turning around when he heard me. I ran and caught him by the arm just before he opened his car door. “Adam, please.” He allowed me to spin him around and ended up standing mere inches from me. I could feel the anger radiating off of his body, his posture tight and coiled. If I hadn’t known him better, I would’ve been intimidated. Actually, I was still slightly intimidated. “What am I supposed to do?” I choked out. Even though I willed them back, the tears were coming anyway.

“That’s a great question.
I’m asking myself the same one. What the hell am I supposed to do? My girlfriend tells me that she’s going to Atlantic City with a guy she had an intimate affair with while she was dating me, and I’m supposed to, what? What, Lily? Tell me. What am
I
supposed to do?” He was yelling, his voice thick with all of the emotions that were running through him.

I hated knowing that I was the cause of his pain.
Again. Looking down at the pavement, I racked my brain for a solution. There was only one. It was the same one I’d contemplated for the past two weeks, and I knew he’d never go for it. But maybe suggesting it would be enough. “You could always come with me.”

He scoffed harshly.
“Yeah, that’s a fabulous idea. Everyone can take bets on how long it takes Max and me to end up in jail for trying to kill each other.”

I raised my head so that I could look at him again.
“Then I guess you’ll just have to trust me.”

“What?”

“You heard me, Adam. This is where you decide whether or not you trust me. Because if we don’t have that, then we aren’t going to last anyway. And I’m not letting Amanda down for a relationship that has no longevity. I’ve done everything I can to assure you that I’m all-in. So now I need to know: is it enough? Am I enough, Adam?”

He slumped back against his car door and turned his head away from me, seemingly trying to mull over my question in his head.
When he finally looked at me, his internal battle was evident in his eyes. “It’s not a question of you being enough, Lily.”

“Isn’t it?
I’m either what you want or I’m not. The time for hypotheticals is over. There’s no room for could-bes and maybe-one-days anymore. This is the proverbial fork in the road,” I smiled to ease some of the overwhelming tension. This wasn’t a decision I wanted him to make in the heat of the moment. I wanted him to be sure because I didn’t intend to ever have this conversation again.

He ran a hand roughly through his hair and
exhaled. “Then I choose the road that leads to you.”
His eyes locked on mine and I threw myself at him. He wrapped his arms around me and rested his head atop mine. “I love you, Lily. So much that it scares the hell out of me sometimes. You’ve always been what I wanted. I just wish I was the only one who felt that way.”

I pulled back and brought a hand up to cup his cheek.
“He’s bringing his girlfriend with him. I think it’s safe to say that he wants something different now. I know I do.”

He smirked
. “Oh yeah? And what is it that you want?”

“You.
Just you.” I leaned into him as he lowered his lips to mine and captured them in a kiss that expressed everything we felt for one another. It was the best kiss we’d ever shared.

“Let’s get out of here,” he whispered against my lips.

“Good idea,” I responded breathily as I pulled back from him. I walked around to the passenger side of the car, but Adam’s voice stopped me before I actually got in.

“And, Lily.”

I looked at him expectantly.

“If you think he doesn't still want you, then you don’t know him nearly as well as you think you do.”
And with that, Adam lowered himself into the car and turned the ignition.

I hesitated a second, taking a deep breath of the cool night air before climbing in beside
him, hoping to hell that he was wrong.

***

I drove to A.C. with Amanda, Steph, Danielle, and Kate. The boys were all driving together, except for Max, who was coming separately with his girlfriend. We pulled up to Bally's and checked in. We had reserved one Premium Suite for the girls and one next door for the boys. It would be tight cramming us all in, but we didn’t plan to spend much time in the room anyway.

Once we made our way up the elevator to the thirtieth floor, we located our room and proceeded to drop our stuff inside and inspect it.
It was large, with one king-sized bed, a huge armchair that someone could easily sleep in, and we’d asked for a cot to be delivered. The five of us could definitely make it work.

Amanda plopped herself on the bed to relax.

“Not so fast,” I scolded. “We have reservations at the spa in thirty-five minutes. So don’t get too comfortable over there.”

“What are we having done?” Amanda asked.

“The works,” I replied with a wink as I walked into the bathroom to drop off my toiletries.

“Well it better include a happy ending or I’m gonna be pissed,” Amanda called after me.

“You’re getting your happy ending in seven days when you become Mrs. Shane Reed,” Danielle interjected.

Amanda flipped over onto her back and stared at the ceiling. “That’s so sappy.” As a smile slid across her face, she couldn’t help but add, “but totally true.”

***

Two hours later, we were massaged, pampered, and ready to blow the roof off of Atlantic City. We all put on the sluttiest clothes we owned, did our hair and makeup, and headed over to the guys’ room so we could head to dinner. I had made us all reservations at Arturo's, which was in the hotel. Then, we would all go our separate ways and see who made it back alive.

I knocked on their door and heard someone yell, “Our wenches have arrived.”

Great, they’re already wasted.

The door swung open and Ben stood there in a magenta
button-down shirt with the top three buttons undone. He held a bottle of Tanqueray in his right hand as he waved us in. “Come on in, ladies. Feel free to remove your clothes and make yourselves comfortable.”

Amanda stopped in front of him, and fixed him with a deathly glare.
“Just so you know, if you get my fiancé arrested, raped, or murdered tonight, I will make your children fatherless. I can’t believe Talia let you come down here alone.”

“I know, right?” he laughed.

Talia had opted to stay home with the kids instead of coming to the bachelorette party.
Shane’s mom had offered to babysit them, but Talia declined. We all had a strong suspicion that a night away from Ben was too strong of a temptation for her to pass up.

We walked the rest of the way in and were greeted by catcalls, whistles, and bottles clanking.

“You guys are pigs,” I stated.

“Tell us something we don’t know,” Kyle retorted as he made his way over to Kate, kissed her cheek, and whispered something in her ear that made her blush deeply.
Lucky bitch.

“You ready?
I’m starving,” Amanda said as she leered at Shane. I couldn’t blame her; he was quite a sight. He was wearing a black polo shirt that hugged every last one of his rock solid muscles and light jeans that looked like they had been specially designed for his body.

He looked back at her, letting his eyes graze over her body as if he were deciding which part of her to eat first.
And since her black shorts and black corset top accentuated everything she had to offer, he had quite a bit to choose from. “You really going out in that?” he asked, pretending not to care, though it was clear from the way he stared at her that he was
very
interested.

“Yup.” She popped the last letter as it left her mouth.
She really was a masterful flirt.

He walked over to her and ran his hand down her bare arm
as he leaned into her. “Just remember that I’m the only one who gets to take it off of you,” he said loudly enough for us all to hear.

“Trust me, baby.
That’s one thing that you never have to worry about me forgetting.”

“Okay, let’s get out of here.
We’re going to be late for our reservations,” I said to keep Shane from fucking Amanda right where they stood, and giving us all the show of our lives.

Shane grabbed Amanda’s hand and started for the door.
Kyle wrapped an arm around Kate’s shoulder and followed them. I took a quick inventory of the rest of Shane’s friends. He had brought his other three groomsmen, all guys he’d grown up with and who I’d met only a couple of times: Mark, Luke, and Matt. I was always stunned how hot guys seemed to flock together. Their group would definitely be attracting some serious female attention tonight. Though, as I looked around at the girls, I knew we’d be turning some heads ourselves.

The only person missing was Max. I wanted to ask Shane where he was, but I worried how it
might look. So I kept my mouth shut and silently hoped that he’d decided not to show.

***

I had chosen Arturo’s, an Italian restaurant, for one specific purpose: I knew it would be fun as hell to watch Shane try to find something to eat. And since he had insisted on at least beginning our night together, I felt I was owed my own sick form of revenge. I mean, seriously. Who wants to have a joint bachelor/bachelorette party? Shane Reed, that’s who. And while I knew it mostly had to do with his not wanting guys hitting on Amanda all night, he’d just have to get over that shit. We had all bickered about it for three hours one night until Shane finally relented under one condition: we’d at least all go to dinner together. So here we were. One big happy friggin' family.

I walked up to the hostess and told her the name of our reservation.

“Oh, the rest of your party is already here. I’ll show you back.”

So much for Max deciding not to come.
I motioned for everyone to follow, and we made our way into the restaurant. I may have noticed how cozy the restaurant was, how it seamlessly combined a homey feel with a touch of elegance. I may have noticed that, if I hadn’t noticed Max’s girlfriend first.
Damn, did she have to be so pretty?

Max stood when he saw us coming, but I barely registered him beyond this.
Well, this and the fact that he was wearing gray slacks that were tailored to perfection and a crisp, white button-down with the top two buttons undone.
Yup, barely noticed him at all.
My eyes were, however, all over his girlfriend. She was stunning. Tall, thin with a tan complexion and dark features: every ex-fling’s worst nightmare. A trump card. And while I knew that it shouldn’t matter—that I was over Max and who he dated was none of my concern—I couldn’t help my instant hatred of her. It didn’t help that she was so hot. Even
I
wondered what she looked like naked.

“Hi, guys,” Max said in greeting.

“Hey, Max. Been here long?” Shane called.

I shot a glare over my shoulder at Shane, who probably got hard just at the sight of Max.

“No, maybe five minutes ago. Uh, let me introduce everybody. Mary, this is Lily.”

Mary extended her hand toward me with a large, genuine smile.
“Lily, it’s so nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“God, I hope that’s not true.”
My eyes grew as big as saucers once I realized I had just spoken those words out loud. I quickly grasped her hand and shook firmly, laughing off my verbal diarrhea as a joke, and hoping like hell she bought it.

She laughed with me, but her smile was tight.
Christ, I sure know how to make a first impression.
I moved off to the side so Max could continue his introductions.

I felt Amanda bump my shoulder with hers.
“You are fucking smooth. You know that?”

“Shut up.”
The retort was weak, but it was all I had at the moment. We moved to sit down and I all but ran to the other end of the table to avoid ending up anywhere near Max and his Victoria’s Secret model. Shane and Amanda sat next to one another, and I sat to her left. Next to me were Steph and Danielle, and across the table sat Matt, Mark and Luke. Ben sat beside his brother, with Max next to him and Mary across from Max. That left Kyle and Kate to sit directly opposite Shane and Amanda. Comfortable as I was going to get with the seating arrangements, I relaxed slightly.

“Good evening, my name is Melody and I’m going to be your server for this evening.”

I tuned Melody out as she ran through the specials, especially since she had chosen to stand at the opposite end of the table, but my ears perked up when she asked if she could get us anything to drink. “I’ll take a Stoli Vanilla and Coke,” I nearly yelled. When everyone turned to glare at me, I shrugged. “May as well get this party started, right.” Then I slunk back in my chair and hoped to disappear.

“No red-headed sluts for you tonight, Lil?”

I knew who said it without even having to look. Though I did anyway. He wore that cocky smirk that had irritated me over a year ago when I met him, and it was causing the same reaction now. I knew he was joking, trying to lighten the mood, but I wasn’t up for it. He was crashing the party that
I
had worked hard to organize. And on top of that, he brought some chick with him for
us
to entertain all night. Same selfish Max. “No, I learned my lesson with those. They only attract a bad element.”

His jaw ticked slightly, but his smile never wavered.
Though it didn’t matter. I knew I’d gotten to him. I just wished I had felt better about it.

Melody took everyone’s drink order and then took off to get them.
A weird silence descended on the table. I never knew thirteen people were capable of being that quiet.

“So what are you girls doing tonight?”
You could always count on Shane to break an awkward silence. I suddenly regretted putting him through carbohydrate hell. Well, almost.

I wasted no time in responding
. “Well I hired a few male escorts. They should be arriving at the room in about an hour and a half. Then I thought we would head to the center of town and buy some meth. Smoke that for a while, and then, see where the night takes us.”

“Amanda prefers heroin, Lily.
Don’t you know her at all?” Shane said, beating me at my own game.
Sly devil.
He really was perfect for Amanda.

Our drinks arrived as we all discussed our plans for the evening
. Ours involved a new club called Swanky that had opened two blocks away from Bally’s, and the guys’ involved an upscale nightclub called The Last Out. Melody said she’d give us more time to look over the menus, and then be back to take our order.

“Max got us VIP access in the club,” Shane gushed.

What a girl.

“
That’s nice, sweetie,” Amanda said to Shane before smiling sweetly at Max’s date. “So Mary, you ready to run with the big dogs? We’ve been known to get pretty wild.”

“I think I’ll be able to keep up,” Mary answered, matching Amanda’s smile.

“I hope so.
Amanda is a total nutcase. Remember when you jumped into the Delaware River from the back deck of that bar?” Kyle was starting to look a little tipsy, and was definitely a talker when he drank. He was probably gearing up to tell a whole bunch of wild Amanda stories. I couldn’t wait.

“Do
I
remember it? You weren’t even there.” Amanda’s tone was accusatory, but her face held only confidence. And maybe pride.

“No, but those three were.
” Kyle pointed at me, Steph, and Danielle. “Just ask them if you don’t believe me.”

Shane looked over Amanda at me.

“Hey, what happens in the Delaware, stays in the Delaware,” I replied, taking a long sip of my drink.

“That’s right,” Danielle added. “Besides, it wasn’t her fault. The cops were chasing her.”

Amanda’s and my eyes flew to
Danielle,
shocked by a betrayal from someone in our own ranks. Danielle put her hand over her mouth. “Shit, sorry.”

“
Snitches wind up as drug dealers’ bitches, Danielle,” Amanda warned before directing her attention back to Mary. “Don’t listen to her. She’s a lush. She has no idea what she’s talking about.”

“How come I never heard this story?” Shane asked, amused.

“Because there’s no way to spin it so that I don’t look like a complete asshole.”

“How’d you hear it
?” Shane asked Kyle.

“Oh, she tells me everything.
Lily may seem like her best friend, but she’s got nothing on me and Amanda. Right, princess?”

“Kyle, maybe you should quit while you’re ahead,” Amanda warned.

Kyle held up his hands in a defensive gesture.

“Ah, so
maybe Kyle should’ve been your maid of honor,” Shane teased.

“Nah, it’s
against the rules to choose a maid of honor you’ve slept with,” Kyle blurted out.

Once the words were out, there was no taking them back, even though Kyle looked like he would’ve moved mountains to do exactly that.
Everyone at the table stilled.

Shane was the first to speak.
“What the fuck did you just say?”

Every muscle Shane had visibly
coiled, and I knew that this may be Kyle’s very last moment on this earth. I tried desperately to think of something to say to redirect the conversation. “So, Matt, Mark, Luke, where’s John? Writing an addendum to his Gospel?” I laughed awkwardly at my own joke as everyone turned their blank faces to me. “What? No one else thinks it’s weird that Shane’s groomsmen all have names from the New Testament?”

Shane rose quickly and threw his napkin onto the table.
“I’m suddenly not hungry. Maybe we should start our night, guys. What do ya say?”

The men all murmured assent as they began to get up.
Well, everyone except Kyle. He knew better than to go anywhere with Shane and his closest friends.

“Shane, wait.
Let me explain.” Amanda grabbed his arm, but he shook her loose.

“There was a time and a place for that.
This wasn’t it. Ready, guys?” And with that, they left.

“Kyle, you are such a fucking prick. What the hell is the matter with you?”
Amanda hissed.

“I don’t . . . shit, I’m . . .God, I’m so sorry, Amanda.
It just slipped.” He turned to look at Kate, who sat like a statue beside him. “Kate, baby, just hear me out.”

“I’ve heard enough from you, Kyle.”
Tears began to slip down her cheeks as she stood. “I’m suddenly not feeling very well, girls. I think I’m going to call it a night.” She didn’t meet any of our eyes as she walked off.

“You better go after her, dumbass.
Fix it before she draws her own conclusions,” Amanda sighed.

Kyle got up awkwardly.
“Fuck, Amanda, I’m sorry I ruined everything. I never wanted that. I’ve never felt like a bigger dick.”