Pieces in Chance (18 page)

Drew remained quiet the entire way home, and now that they’d been sitting together for what seemed like forever, the silence was starting to drive Jensen crazy. It was taking everything he had to remain sitting, the lack of noise making him want to pace or beg for conversation, any conversation. Her vacant stare as she held the wash cloth he’d given her to her lip was hard for him to bear.

Finally unable to take it, he went to the room they shared, quickly stripping out of his nice clothes and throwing on a pair of sport shorts. Jensen pulled a pair of the soft pants he knew Drew liked to wear out of their dresser, along with a T-shirt. Breathing deeply, he sat down on the end of the bed for a moment, his fingers caressing the fabric in his hands.

It was a shame the night ended the way it had. They’d had such a good time, before and during dinner. Drew had been smiling nonstop, completely content with the world and all those in her life. It had been a beautiful feeling. And seeing her with little Glory? That image would forever be burned into his mind; she was going to be a great mom some day and he could only hope that one day it would be one of their own filling her arms. Sure, she was young and he wasn’t looking for a lifetime commitment, but he wanted one with her. Jensen knew not to push her, refused to push her, but when he pictured his future, that’s what he saw. He saw a life with Drew, children, and happiness.

For a little while, he’d wondered if she’d been thinking the same. Still, he didn’t want Drew to ever settle, to get roped into life as his wife and a mother. He wanted her to go to school, to find her way, to discover all that life had to offer – even if it meant her leaving Chance to find those adventures. He wanted that for her. But seeing the sadness, the pain in her eyes when her brother hit her, he wasn’t sure if she’d ever take the leap. Hell, he wasn’t sure what she was thinking at all.

If it were him, he would’ve been on the first bus out of town the second he had the opportunity. Jensen knew himself well enough to know that nothing would’ve kept him in the god-forsaken town that held so much pain for him. So why was she? His chest hurt and he rubbed at it, ignoring the bruises on his knuckles.

Shaking his thoughts away, he stood and made his way to Drew once more, finding her in the exact same position she’d been in when he left the room. Jensen remained in front of her for a moment before dropping to his knees, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his head in her lap. After a heartbeat, he felt her fingers in his hair, caressing him, and he could have jumped for joy.

They stayed like that for a while, until Drew raised his face with her hands and Jensen’s eyes locked with hers. She seemed like she wanted to say something but didn’t; instead she lowered her mouth and kissed him softly. Her arms snaked around his neck, holding him to her despite the awkward angle.

Jensen smiled against her lips as she lowered herself to the floor, putting herself at eye level with him. Drew pressed her body as close to hers as she could get, the fabric of her dress rough against his bare chest. Breathing heavily, she pulled away, her chest heaving as she got up and lowered her hand. Arching an eyebrow, he took it, allowing her to help him off the floor before leading him to the bedroom, the clothes he’d brought for her forgotten in the living room.

Once they reached the room, Jensen watched as she grasped the hem of her dress and peeled it over her head, saying nothing. He was trying hard not to stare, not to relish in every line of her exposed skin. She was as beautiful and flawless to him as she always was, the sight of her body something he could never get used to. But he needed to know what was going on in her head. On its own accord his hand reached out, wanting to touch her, but he forced it down before meeting her skin. If he touched her, he’d get lost in her, which, as much as he wanted to, he had questions first.

“Drew,
” he signed, his throat dry as she tugged at her panties and let them fall to the floor. Jensen closed his eyes and swallowed hard. She knew his intentions – she knew he wanted to talk, he could see it in the mischievous glint in her eye, but she was making him work for it.

“Jens,” she answered aloud, making her way to where he was holding the doorframe up and running her hands along his chest.

Little minx
, he thought before catching her hands, kissing her fingers. “We need to talk.”

“No talking,
Officer Marks,
” she told him saucily, pulling back her hands, trailing them down his skin, forcing a shiver from him. She wasn’t playing fair and she knew it; at any other time Jensen would be loving it. But they
really
needed to talk.

“Drew,” he repeated and she ignored him, pretending to not have seen his lips move as her fingers reached his shorts, fiddling with his waistband. “No.” His word came out as a croak and he was glad she couldn’t hear the break in his voice. “No,” he repeated, stronger this time as he snatched her hands away once more.

“Jens,” she started, stepping back, but he moved with her, not allowing her to drop her eyes.

“I need to know you’re okay. I know you’re strong, but what happened tonight…” he said, trying to think of the best way to phrase the shitfest that happened, “was fucked up.”

“Stop worrying about me. I’m fine. It took a while, but I learned that I can’t control the people around me – only myself. It’s something Dean will or will not learn, and, if he doesn’t, there’s nothing I can do about it. I still love my brother, but he’s in a hell of his own.”

She sounded wise beyond her years and Jensen filled with pride at her words. She’d grown so much in the months they’d been together; she was going to give the world what for, that was certain.

“I, on the other hand,” she continued, backing up until her knees hit the bed and she sat. “I’m in a hell because you refuse to take these fucking shorts off. Now shut up and kiss me.”

Fuck, that’s hot,
he thought as he moved closer, taking her chin firmly in his hand and kissing her as hard as he could while avoiding the split in her lip. When she made no sound or motion of pain, he deepened it, allowing his tongue to explore her mouth. Drew moaned, tracing her nails down his sides and hooking her fingers in his waistband, once again tugging at the light material.

“Take these off,” she demanded into his mouth and his breath caught. They’d slept together often, but he was usually the more aggressive of the two of them. She’d usually guide him to what she wanted, but was soft spoken about it, undemanding in her requests. Her gentle pleas always turned on him on, but this new, forceful Drew? This Drew had him so revved up he was having to steel himself to keep from embarrassment.

“Yes, ma’am,” he murmured against her lips and allowed his shorts to fall, revealing his erection. He knew he was as hard as he could get, his own skin straining, desperate for her; she knew it as well, her hungry hands dropping immediately to grasp him, tugging and squeezing him.

Jensen pushed her back on the bed, almost sighing in relief when her hands let him go. He watched as Drew climbed her way into the middle of the sheets, her eyes never leaving his face as she spread her legs, dragging one hand through her folds.

The room had suddenly lost its entire air supply. Jensen’s lungs tightened at the lack of oxygen, his face heating, his body tingling. He’d never seen a sexier, more erotic action, and it was all he could do to keep from going caveman on her. Instead he forced himself to crawl slowly above her, watching as her hands never stopped moving, continuing to spread her wetness. She was preparing herself for him and it was the hottest fucking thing he’d ever seen in his life.

He started to reach for her, to replace his hands with hers, but she grabbed at him, pulling him up to her.
So this is what she wants, is it? Then that’s what she’ll get.
While locking his lips with hers, Drew’s hands at his sides, he thrust into her, her excitement providing plenty of lubrication so he wouldn’t hurt her. The gasp that escaped her brought a grin to his lips as he swallowed the sound and repeated the motion.

Jensen settled on his elbows, letting his weight rest on her as they found a rhythm, losing themselves in each other. It was emotional and physical, their complete entwinement. Mouths, bodies, skin on skin, they were as close as two people could get. She was overwhelming him, her smaller body arching into him at his every movement, the sounds she was making almost unmanning him each time. There were seconds she’d break their kiss to breathe, and he’d do the same, before capturing her mouth once more, desperate for her.

“I love you, Jensen,” she murmured against his lips and his movements faltered. This beautiful, amazing woman loved him, was holding her as tightly against her body as she could. In that heartbeat, he was as close to heaven as he’d ever get.

“I love you, Drew,” he told her, knowing she couldn’t read his lips but would feel the breath as he whispered. As she kissed him again, biting at his tongue, her body tightened around him, her climax overtaking her in a rush. She threw her head back and called his name, a plea and reverence in one word, and he followed.

Despite her being on the pill, they usually either used a condom or he pulled out. But as he emptied himself into her, he wasn’t upset about it. Instead he was completely at peace, in love, and with the woman of his dreams.

Jensen rolled off her, pulling her into his arms as he went. He knew that the world would eventually invade the bubble they’d created, that he’d have to get her to talk about what happened, but he was content to merely hold her for a while. She’d changed so much, gained so much confidence, she was no longer the girl her brother had ever known. No one knew this Drew, except for him, and that was a truth he cherished. She was his, in every way possible, and yet, he couldn’t help but feel like something bad was going to happen … something that could take her away from him.

Shaking off the feeling, he kissed the top of her hair. Drew sighed against him, drawing symbols in his skin with her finger as she relaxed. Her breathing eventually eased and Jensen continued holding her, playing with her hair, whispering words she would never know he said.

Chapter Thirteen
 

Drew

Drew was just leaving the library, having used the Internet there for college research, when she ran smack dab into someone she never thought she’d see again. Breath held, she resolved to remain calm and not let the woman in front of her affect her. She’d given her entirely too much power, given their history, but this time would be different. This time, Drew wasn’t the same withdrawn, scared, battered woman she used to be.

Cassie, one of Drew’s best childhood friends turned enemies, stood in front of her clutching text books to her chest. She looked the exact way she remembered: polished, perfect, and perky in her low-rise jeans and cropped tank top. Despite spring just starting, there was still a bite to the air, though one wouldn’t know it by looking at her clothes or her tan. The only real difference Drew could spot was the fact she was actually carrying books – something she rarely did outside of school walls.

“Oh, Drew!” the girl exclaimed, running a hand through her shoulder-length blonde hair and shifting awkwardly in an attempt to still hold her heavy load. After a moment the girl frowned. “Um … I don’t know how to sign. I think I have some paper in here…”

Drew could have laughed but instead took pity on her. “I can read your lips just fine, Cassie.”

“Oh, okay. So, I heard you can’t, like, hear anymore at all. Is that true? I mean, obviously since you’re saying you read lips and all, but it’s just surreal,” the girl rambled, talking so fast Drew had to concentrate in order to understand her.

It took her a minute to realize Cassie had stopped talking and Drew had to think back, trying to remember if she’d asked a real question. Unable to recall one, she stated the obvious. “No, I can’t hear.”

“God, I don’t even know what I would do if that happened to me. I think I’d go, like, super crazy. ‘Cause, you know, then I couldn’t listen to Maroon 5 or Taylor Swift, which would just be, like, sad.”

How had she ever been friends with her? Idly, Drew wondered if she was always this annoying or if it was a newer trait. When they were little, she, Cassie, and Amy had spent countless hours giggling and playing tea party games. But after her mom died, and her life had flipped upside down, the other two girls had abandoned her – shunning her publicly. Drew had quit cheer, which she’d been in with the girls for her entire life, and hidden from them. Countless times they made fun of her, started rumors, and even bullied her physically. At the time, it hurt, and she’d yearned to have them in her life, to have their confidence back, to have them to turn to. Now, though, she couldn’t get away fast enough.

“Okay,” she said simply, desperate for a way to end the one-sided conversation. But Cassie wasn’t deterred by her admission, nor her clear body language – which was her inching away with the keys to Jensen’s Jeep in her hands.

“Well, you know, I just wanted to tell you that we, me and Amy, well … we’re sorry we weren’t very, um, nice to you. See, it wasn’t really anything personal,” she continued, no longer able to twirl her hair. Her books had clearly grown heavy and, unused to the weight, she was shifting, holding them up with both hands. “It was just, you know, for fun.”

“We were friends for years, yet you made fun of me, bullied me, because it was fun?”

Please get me the hell away from here before I flip out on this girl,
she thought, wishing she was Jensen for a minute. He was really good at confrontations, always knowing just what to say and how to say it to get his point across. Drew’s problem was she was just too nice – having been neglected the simplest niceties, it was part of her nature to give them.
Of course, that could always change…

“That’s not what I meant. I just, like, whatever. Never mind,” the girl huffed, her eyes moving from Drew to the library. It seemed that since she’d put her foot in her mouth, and finally realized it, that she, too, was trying to figure a way out. Or, at least Drew thought. “We miss you at school. It’s almost over, you know. Prom is in like, a week, then graduation. Are you ever coming back? Or do you have to redo the whole year over again? God that would suck … still being in high school when everyone you know has graduated.”

“No. I won’t be back. I graduated already – have fun at prom though,” Drew told her, loving the confusion crossing Cassie’s face. She could have explained, but that would only cause more conversation. Instead she finally found a good time to exit. “Anyway, I’ve got to go. Catch you around.”

Before the other girl could say anything, Drew turned and walked as fast as she could to the Jeep, not stopping to even breathe until she was in the driver’s seat. That had to be one of the most uncomfortable conversations she’d had in forever. It was one of the downsides of living in Chance – it was such a small place that one was bound to run into someone they didn’t want to see. In all honesty, she was surprised she hadn’t run into them before this. She’d caught glimpses on occasion, though she’d always walked the other direction, purposely avoiding this debacle.

Drew had learned that childhood friendship isn’t necessarily lasting. Often children are put together because of the bond between their parents – who
they
liked spending time with. The kids become friends because they have no choice, and it becomes routine. Then, once they start thinking for themselves, they realize that those they’ve known, played with, confided in, aren’t necessarily people they
want
in their lives. In all reality, Drew found no shame or blame in that. She couldn’t force someone to like her if they didn’t; just like she couldn’t force herself to like someone she didn’t. It was what it was, and that was okay.

As she started the Jeep, she could see Cassie, her gaze lingering on the vehicle and confusion clear on her face. There was a large possibility that had her life been different, had her mom lived and her father not turned into a monster, that she would’ve still been friends with those girls. Worse, the more she thought about it, she would have turned out like them. She would have bullied others, caring about her hair and clothes more than the people around her. That thought made her almost grateful for what she’d gone through, because being a person like that wasn’t who she wanted to be.

A smile grew on her face. She hadn’t even minded not being able to hear her old friend’s words, her voice, as she stuttered and spoke. Not everything about being deaf was bad. Listening to her would have grated on her nerves more than just reading her lips. A hidden blessing there, indeed.

Pulling out of the parking space and turning onto Main Street toward Jensen’s house, Drew’s phone vibrated against her leg, but she ignored it. She’d been lectured until he was blue in the face about the dangers of texting and driving, and she promised she wouldn’t. Though curiosity was going to drive her crazy. Luckily she wasn’t too far from his house.

The minute she was in the driveway with the Jeep off, she picked up her cell, excited to read what he’d sent.

Hey toots, how was the library? I was thinking, want to go out of town this weekend? Anywhere you want – it’s my turn for 3 in a row again. Let me know.

Drew loved when he called her toots, and she hugged her phone before thinking out a reply. The idea of getting away with Jensen was amazing. He was always doing things like that, getting them out of Chance and into the ‘real world,’ exploring different locations and new places. It was fun and relaxing, going where no one knew them and doing it together.

U choose. Somewhere we can b alone?

She knew she’d befuddle him with her comment, but it was what she wanted. This time, she didn’t want an itinerary of things to see. Instead, she wanted to just be with him – only him. She wanted more of their moments watching movies together, where he automatically put the subtitles on now regardless if she was in the room or not. She wanted more laying on his chest, more of him. They could sit and do nothing, just reading a book or talking, and she’d be happy. Besides, she needed to tell him about her plans – get his opinions.

While on the Internet, she’d found several community colleges within driving distance of Chance, where she could remain at his place and still take class. Thing was, she wasn’t sure he wanted her there. Sure, she knew he loved her, and she him, but there was always the possibility he may want to do the separate living thing. That was what was normal in most relationships – the guy lived one place, the girl in the other. They’d done that slightly backward, her living with him before anything ever really happened. Drew just didn’t want to impose on his space, and while he’d never complained, she’d never asked otherwise, either.

If he wanted her to move out, to live elsewhere, she would, though she wasn’t sure where she’d choose. She had enough money left from her parents that she could afford somewhere cheap while she went to school, but she didn’t have a car. Mostly she drove Jensen’s Jeep, which he had insisted, but if she moved out she wouldn’t have that option anymore. Truth be told she couldn’t afford both – an apartment and a car. So if she
did
move out, there was a good possibility she would leave Chance in lieu of somewhere within walking distance of the college.

Abruptly a sliver of pain shot through her chest and Drew’s hand shot up, rubbing it. Maybe she ate something and was getting heartburn? But when another wave went through her, she knew it wasn’t anything so simple. Immediately her thoughts went to Jensen, her anxiety making panic well up inside her throat until she was choking on it.

Checking her phone, she noticed he hadn’t texted her back, which was unlike him. He rarely ever messaged her unless he was in a position to have some sort of conversation. What changed in the eight minutes it had taken her to drive from the library to his house? Holding her breath she pressed the button for video calling. She rarely used the option, though they’d chosen the phone because it came with the capability – Drew preferred texting. When there was no answer, Drew started freaking out, repeatedly dialing the same over and over. Her chest hurt so bad she could barely breathe, her anxiety skyrocketing and panic overtaking her entirely.

When he answered, Drew could barely see or function. Jensen set the phone down so he could sign with her and she breathed a sigh of relief that he was alright. But even seeing him didn’t ease the pain shooting through her chest, the blood pumping through her veins. Taking a closer look, she noticed the lines around his eyes, his forehead, the grim line his mouth was pulled into. Something was definitely wrong.

“…your brother … we got a call. I’ll be…”

Drew was having trouble following his hands and closed her eyes, holding up one of her own to halt him. Pulling as much oxygen as possible into her lungs, she forced herself to focus. Ready and paying as close attention as she could, she motioned for him to start over.

“Drew, I’m so sorry,”
he started again and it took her entire resolve to stay calm enough to let him finish.
“We got a call … It’s your brother. I’m so sorry. I’ll be there to get you in ten minutes.”

What did he mean he got a call? And it was her brother? What did that mean?! Was he in the hospital? Was he okay? So many questions filtered through her head, consuming her, all demanding to be asked. She raised her hand to ask one of them, which, she wasn’t sure, but what Jensen said replayed in her head.
I’m so sorry,
he’d said. He would only say that if…

“No, Jens. You tell me he’s okay, right now,” she demanded aloud, too upset to sign and him follow her movements. Instead, she hoped against hope she was wrong, that she’d misunderstood the man she loved. Surely her brother was just hurt. Maybe he’d gotten drunk somewhere, fell, and hit his head. Maybe he’d been in a car accident and they were rushing him to the hospital. His
I’m so sorry
couldn’t be that he was gone.

Jensen refused to look at her, his eyes downcast for a long moment. When he looked at her again, his eyes were red and she knew. Drew didn’t need him to sign to tell her; Dean was dead. She wasn’t sure how or what happened, but he was gone. The pain her chest had eased, turning into a dull ache, as disbelief set in.

He continued to sign, saying things that were completely lost on her. Drew’s attention was gone – going back to the night two weeks ago when he’d hit her. She’d known he was in a bad place, and watching Jensen defend her had helped ease the hurt in one way, but increased it in the other. Her twin had always promised to be better than the man her father had been. He’d sworn it on the many, many occasions he had to paint her face to hide the bruises. Never, in a million years, did she ever think he’d strike her. But now, now he was gone, and she knew, deep down, she was the cause.