Authors: Juli Valenti
Kissing her softly, he jumped up and got a towel from the bathroom, wiping her clean as she lay unmoving. Quickies were new to her – she preferred the long hours they’d spend touching and exploring – but she had to admit they had merit. The fact that her entire body felt like Jell-O aside, she felt invigorated.
Jensen grasped her hand, helping Drew to her feet before picking her dress up off the floor. As he moved around her to gather his own clothes from his closet, he slapped her butt playfully and she stopped, turning to him. He’d never done that before.
Something must’ve struck him, because he halted his search and turned, his face hesitant and slightly troubled. She could see thoughts passing his face quicker than she imagined was possible, but there they were. Drew saw trepidation, almost fear, before shame and disgust. Moving quickly, she grasped his arms and wrapped them around her.
“Don’t,” she mouthed, smiling slightly at him. She needed him to know it had startled her, nothing more. Nothing about the gesture had been malicious or even hurtful; his intentions were merely lovingly playful. In her mind there was no comparison to the act and the abuse her father had inflicted on her. The only reason she hesitated to begin with was because she hadn’t expected it, and it was new. In truth, if he did it again, she’d probably laugh or chase him around the room to reciprocate. Unsure of the best way to explain everything to him, she simply reached around and returned the favor.
When she glanced up at him, she couldn’t help it; this time she
did
burst out laughing. The poor man looked so confused, perplexed even, his forehead scrunched. One of the many things she adored about the man was his complete devotion to her, to her safety and mental well-being. It was also something that drove her completely crazy. So often Jensen treated her like glass, like a beautiful but fragile treasure that needed to be treated with soft gloves. And, while his assessment wasn’t completely correct, it wasn’t wrong either, and she knew it. A fifty-fifty emotional ride, for certain.
“Drew,” he started, but she didn’t let him finish. Instead she lifted onto her toes and kissed him gently, before pulling back and swatting his behind once more. Giggling, she pulled back, watching a smile spread slowly on his face before he lunged toward her. Moving quickly, she jumped away and onto the bed, bouncing from foot to foot, taunting him. When he made to grab her again, she jumped off the other side, full-blown laughter escaping her chest, the vibrations in her throat a constant sensation.
Making a move to jump to safety once more, Drew stopped, noticing that Jensen remained standing on the bed, his face soft and his eyes smiling. For a moment she forgot she was only in her underwear, that he in his, and that they’d been playing. It took all her willpower to continue to breathe, getting lost in his gaze, the weight of it.
“I love you,” he mouthed simply and her heart stopped. Surely she hadn’t read his lips right – she couldn’t have. But as she tried to formulate what he could have said instead, he repeated himself. “I love you, Drew.”
This time he signed his words as well as spoke them, giving no room for misunderstanding on her end. Drew’s heart skipped a beat and, unthinking, it was her turn to rush to him. She leapt onto the bed, throwing her arms around his neck.
“I do,” he murmured after brushing his lips against hers.
“I love you, Jensen Marks,” she told him, kissing him, pouring her heart into his mouth. She couldn’t get close enough to him, though she tried. The air around them grew heated and hands roamed as their breathing increased.
Drew wasn’t sure how it happened, but one minute they were standing and kissing, groping, the next they were falling. She landed atop Jensen and he was laughing, having lost his balance and toppling them to the softness of the mattress. There was nothing she could do but join in, giggling as they kissed and hugged.
When the humor finally subsided, Jensen shifted them up – they were already late to meet Carrigan and Stella. Dressing in a hurry, Drew noticed they moved like a synchronized team, each moving independently but always aware of the other. Several times their eyes would meet and thoughts were exchanged with no words needed. No one but Dean had ever been able to do that with her.
The thought almost brought her down. She missed the connection she had with her twin – having almost no communication with him since she left the hospital. He no longer answered when she texted or e-mailed.
Shaking off her thoughts, she beamed at her man as she collected her small purse. Drew’s life was finally starting to shape up and she was actually happy – something she’d lost hope over. So much darkness had consumed her before that a life with something other than sadness had been implausible. But now, it was not only realistic, but very much hers.
Add on the fact that Jensen loved her? Drew was on cloud nine.
Glory sneezed softly, bringing a grin to Drew’s face. She’d taken over baby duty since she and Jensen arrived at the Carrigan household over an hour before. Luckily, the little lady didn’t seem to mind – instead she constantly ran her hand down Drew’s cheek, her lips, her eyes curious and studying her. She would smile and watch as Drew repeated the gesture, before moving on to something else.
There was something so peaceful, getting lost in someone so young. The baby girl hadn’t yet been touched by life, by hardship, and she trusted blindly, going on gut instinct. With no real basis of opinion, the child believed that nothing bad would happen to her, that she would be happy and warm, fed and loved, with no real promise of it. Of course, looking at her, there was no way anyone could do otherwise. Yet, Drew couldn’t help be a little jealous. She wished she could have even a tenth of that trust; maybe people everywhere could take a page out of little Glory’s book.
A buzzing in her pocket stole her gaze away from the tiny child in her arms, and she glanced up, finding Jensen holding his phone and grinning at her. Drew was certain he and Stella had been either talking about her, or to her, and she’d missed it all. It was only half annoying to her. The few moments of absolute serenity she’d had, cradling Glory in her arms, smiling at her and smelling her sweet smell, had been worth it all; besides, she couldn’t miss what she didn’t have. She didn’t have her hearing, and there were times, like the ones she’d been having, where it was completely okay by her.
Drew arched an eyebrow in question and he signed,
food,
before moving to her and offering to take the baby. She merely shook her head and stood, carrying the baby with her to the table and sitting once more. Carrigan and Stella sat at the ends of the table, one on each side of her, while Jensen took the seat across from her. Idly she wondered if he planned his placement, in an effort to help her in case she missed parts of the conversation. While Drew was great at reading lips, and following most speech patterns, there were times when around more than one person that she’d get lost if she spaced for even the smallest second. Jensen knew and often put himself somewhere he could save her if need be. Glancing up at him, his wink confirmed her suspicions and she couldn’t help the butterflies that took flight in her stomach.
Stella tapped her hand, pulling her eyes to her. “Sure you don’t want to put Glory down?”
“I’m sure. She’s precious and I think I enjoy holding her as much as she enjoys being held,” Drew answered, doing her best to concentrate on the volume of her voice. It was one thing talking around just Jensen – he’d get a goofy look on his face when she was all but yelling at him – but she was holding a baby and didn’t want to startle her. She also didn’t want to come off nuts to the Carrigans.
“You’re going to spoil her,” the woman tsked, shaking her head as if in chastisement but unable to conceal the smile growing on her lips.
The dining room was set with daisies, the lights bright and a wide array of food spread out along the wooden table top. It smelled like Stella had been cooking the day away, everything from chicken and mashed potatoes to vegetables and even an apple pie, which was still cooling on the oven. As Drew held Glory, her eyes growing heavy and her breathing evening out, another small pang of jealous rang through her, quickly chased away by a large dose of gratitude. This child deserved what she had – a mother and father who adored her, who did things like demanding their friends come over to eat. She deserved a mother who devoted herself to being a mom, just like Drew’s had.
Out of her peripheral vision, she caught Jensen taking her plate, spooning small amounts of everything onto it. Quietly excusing herself, she stood, reluctantly walking the sleeping baby to her nursery. Inside the pretty pink princess room, the crib canopied like her dream bed had been, she laid her softly inside, ensuring no blankets or animals were around her. The child didn’t stir, didn’t open her eyes again; instead her chest rose greatly before falling, and repeated the motion over and over again. She was sleeping peacefully and as she moved to turn away, to go eat with the man who loved her and his partner, she prayed a silent prayer that the child would get to keep it all – all the love, the hope, and the trust.
Trust was hard won with Drew anymore, and she knew it. Hell, pretty much the entire town knew it after they’d failed her so badly. It was in their gazes as they looked at her – it was even in Stella and Carrigan’s when the stole glances at her. And, as she sat in her seat once more, staring at the food Jensen had so kindly plated for her, she couldn’t help but feel like she was lucky as well. If it hadn’t been for all the shit that happened to her, all the heartache and pain, she wouldn’t be in this moment, this now. She wouldn’t know how precious little Glory was, or revel in her innocence. She wouldn’t cherish the food that was lovingly cooked for her, by people who barely knew her but wanted to.
“Thank you, Stella, Tommy,” she said aloud as she took a sip of the tea beside her. They must’ve been in deep conversation because the entire table turned to look at her, confused. A downside to being deaf – not paying attention to know if people are talking or if there is a chance of interrupting them. Still, she kept on. “Thank you for dinner. And for letting me spoil your daughter a little.”
Stella glanced from Drew to Jensen before settling back on Drew, her hand squeezing hers on the table. So many emotions crossed her expression, from kindness to something else, something haunted, before she squeezed and spoke slowly.
“You’re so welcome – and anytime. Seeing you holding Glory reminded me of Dana holding you…” her words stopped and Drew glanced at her, curious.
“Really? I can barely remember her,” Drew breathed, afraid to put any power in her words.
“Well, I do. I remember this one time,” Stella continued, and Drew sat staring, enraptured. It had been so long since anyone had talked about her mother and watching the older woman’s lips move as she recounted funny stories about her stole her heart.
It wasn’t long before Carrigan was chiming in, talking about what it was like growing up with her, even though she was older than him. Drew discovered her mom was actually a bit of a rebel, something she’d never been told before. Most of the time when the town actually
did
refer to her mom, it was about her good deeds, the things she did for the community and for others. So when Tommy continued into a story about her and a couple of her friends getting caught skinny dipping in Old Mr. Johnson’s land, she couldn’t help but burst out laughing. Jensen was laughing too, occasionally holding a hand up to pause the conversation long enough to catch Drew up, before waving for them to continue.
They laughed and told old stories, keeping the subjects light as they ate. Jensen told them stories about his time at war, funny ones instead of the painful, when his comrades would act foolishly and one would end up covering for the other. He talked about what it was like going from place to place, only to settle in the little Podunk town of Chance.
Carrigan had the entire table in stitches when he recounted the experience of finding out Jensen was assigned to him as a partner.
“Here he was – this stern, by the book, cocky motherfucker-”
“Tommy!” Stella scolded him, which Jensen translated for Drew, making her giggle even more. Her husband merely winked at Drew before continuing.
“He walked into the station, perfectly pressed, and asked where he could find his case files. Never seen an officer so keen on doing paperwork before. And don’t get me started on his way with the rules. The man scolded me when my shoes weren’t shined to perfection,” Tommy continued, shaking his head in mock disappointment.