Pieces of Summer (A stand-alone novel) (26 page)

Chapter 51

MIKA

I know what he’s doing, but it still hurts to hear him say the words. He’s spinning the story now, trying to give me a different outlook. It’s not enough to make me change my mind, but hearing the sincerity is making me second guess myself.

And that’s not fair.

That seems to be the status quo for my life, though.

“You’re being manipulative,” I grumble.

I expect him to smirk or something, but the genuine look he gives me hurts just a little bit more. Damn it. Damn him. Damn all of them.

“I’m not. I’m just finally being honest with myself and with you.” He blows out a heavy breath. “If you’d have left me after I finally had you, it would have destroyed me.”

My heart clenches in my chest, and I stare ahead.

“It wouldn’t have mattered. We couldn’t have been together. I was hurt. I was damaged. Still am. It is what it is, Chase.”

It gets harder to breathe when he moves to be behind me, and his hands slide up my arms, resting on my shoulders before moving back down in a slow, soothing motion. He repeats the process, finding a rhythm, and my breaths grow heavier when he leans his face into my neck.

When his breath fans against my skin, I close my eyes and curse myself for being weak as I lean against him.

“In some way, everyone is damaged,” he states so naively.

I snort, trying not to laugh. It’s a sad laugh I’m restraining.

“I’ve been living by your rules since you left,” he says suddenly, surprising me.

My eyes fly open, and my entire body tenses. I try to speak, but no words form.

“I went to see Dr. Stein,” he goes on. “Explained to her the special case my girlfriend has.” He grins against my neck before kissing a small patch of skin. “I’m currently renting my tat shop to an old friend of mine. I no longer have a schedule. I haven’t had to check off a single box in five weeks.”

My eyes close again, and a single tear escapes.

“You can’t give up your shop,” I whisper.

“Already have.”

“No,” I snap, trying to wrench away, but there’s nowhere to go, since there’s a large drop from my seat to the ground, and he’s surrounding every other escape. “I refuse to let you give up your damn dreams for me.”

An embarrassing squeal escapes me when I’m suddenly being lifted and spun around, until two blue eyes holding grim determination are staring into mine. Chase steps between my legs, and his hands settle on the railing on either side of my hips. I’m forced to grab his shoulders to keep my balance, which brings us even closer.

“My dreams were to run a damn bowling alley with the only girl I’ve ever loved. She was insanely beautiful, passionate, completely spontaneous, and fucking perfect. So, if you’re interested on making my dreams come true…”

He lets his words trail off as a smirk begins to play on his lips.

“I’m not—”

“You’re not beautiful?” he muses, making a show of raking his eyes over me. “Tell that to my body that appreciates the way you’ve changed. You’re not passionate? You should feel the way you kiss or read what you write. You’re not completely spontaneous? That’s not even up for debate. You’re still fucking perfect, Mika. I’m just asking for a chance for us to work together. That’s it. Just a chance.”

I really hate how easy it is to forget the disaster we are.

“Just a chance is dangerous for me,” I remind him. “Emotions are… They’re a fucking wild card from hell, Chase. I… I lost it. Something as simple as a shift in plans sent me spiraling into the madness so deep that I destroyed my brother all over again. My brother isn’t even allowed to show me physical affection. Do you know that? Seven years. I went seven years without any physical harm to myself. Do you understand?”

He doesn’t look the least bit deterred. If anything, he looks like he’s even more steadfast than before. So I simplify what I’m saying.

“I’m a fucking psycho,” I add, watching his lips twitch like he finds it humorous.

“You’re not psycho. How long are we going to do this dance before I convince you to come back?”

“Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to keep saying no?” I groan.

“Then say yes,” he chirps, grinning like this is a game to him. Just his smile makes me stupidly smile back.

It takes a very,
very
large effort, but I mask my features once again when I see too much triumph in his eyes. This is a one-way road to fucked-up-ville, and there isn’t much of a chance for return for him.

“You’re still in love with the girl you knew, Chase. Yes, I agree that this argument is getting tired, but I’m not that girl anymore. Stop. Just stop,” I say quietly, leaning forward to rest my head on his chest again when staring into his eyes becomes too hard.

His arms wrap around me, and his hand slides up and down my back, a soothing motion that feels too good. I just got over the need for physical contact… Or at least I thought I did. I’m soaking it in right now like I can’t get enough, even though I should be putting distance between us.

“You’re the only person who makes me feel anything,” he says so quietly that I almost don’t hear it.

A tear escapes my eye, and I squeeze my eyes shut in protest of the other tears that want to join the escapee.

“I fucked up once and let you go. Then I lived with a hole inside of me, Mika. Yeah, I know that’s cliché and cheesy, but it’s the truth. Then you came back, and I stopped surviving and felt like I was finally living. You’re still it for me. I’m not letting you go again.”

“I have so many limitations,” I admit, still trying to talk him out of this. It’s insane. “I don’t even know how to ride a bike anymore.”

“I guess it’s a good thing I outgrew my bike,” he says dryly.

I laugh and groan at the same time, and he kisses the top of my head.

“My mind only works well if I’m not agitated. Normal people get agitated in a good relationship. Do you understand I could go loco at the slightest thing?”

“You’re sexy when you’re crazy.”

I lean back and glare up at him as he smirks down at me.

“I’m literally crazy now. And this isn’t a joke.”

His smirk vanishes.

“You’re not crazy. There’s a difference in a brain injury and being crazy. But I wouldn’t give a damn if you were certifiably insane—”

“I was at one time,” I interrupt, but he goes on as though I haven’t said anything.

“I don’t care if you put ice cream in the cabinet instead of the freezer. I don’t care if you can’t ride a fucking bike or bowl. I don’t care if you have to break shit on occasion. I don’t give a damn about all the things you have to do to cope. It’s not a sacrifice, Mika. At all.”

I study his eyes, and he moves closer, sliding his hands around my back, sparking so many feelings and desires I’ve tried to ignore.

“And what happens when I push myself too far and end up in the ER again?” I ask in a broken tone as I fight back tears.

“I have an idea, actually. But we’ll get to that later. The point is, you’re getting better and better. Dr. Stein will help us adjust, and we’ll figure it out. All relationships have hurdles. This one is ours.”

I laugh humorlessly as he grins, but in the next breath, I’m not laughing, because he crushes my lips in a surprise attack. My eyes close as his tongue slides across the seam of my lips, and my lips part for him, giving him the opening he seeks.

Heat flows through my body, and my heart pounds harder as he kisses me stupid, making me forget. My hands slide up and tangle in his hair, pulling him even closer as his grip gets tighter, more demanding.

He lifts me away from the rail, and my legs fasten around his waist as he carries me into the house. I’m only so strong.

He kisses me like he’s scared to pull back, afraid I’m going to disappear if he does, and I kiss him back with the same fear. We’ve gone through hell on our own, but I’m scared of going through hell together.

He makes some sexy, guttural noise low in his throat, and I shudder against him as he struggles to keep from bumping into the walls. I grin against his lips when he curses a table that hits his knee.

His lips come back to mine, hungrily devouring me in a way that makes my mind blank once again. Between his sounds and mine, the room is being christened with sexy.

When my back thumps against the wall, I grin again. We’re not going to make it to a bed.

He puts me down, and my shorts are getting jerked away before I even realize he’s broken the kiss.

“Get naked,” he says while ripping his shirt over his head.

Like the fool I am, I giggle. And of course I also get naked.

Chapter 52

CHASE

I’m still stripping out of my jeans, when Mika reaches for the back of my neck, pulling me back in for another kiss. My hands go to her waist, gripping her close, as I kick out of my jeans the rest of the way. I’m really fucking thankful I skipped shoes this morning.

There’s so much I want to say, but I continue kissing her instead of risking saying the wrong thing. I hope she doesn’t think this is a small moment of weakness. This is it. This is her giving herself over to me whether she admits it or not.

Plan B involves rope, a cabin in the woods, and a few felony charges for kidnapping and all that.

She moans into my mouth as I lift her, and I consider taking her against the wall when her bare legs come back around my waist. Fuck that. I want a bed with her under me so I can take my time.

She grips me tighter with her thighs and I change my mind while shoving her against the wall. My hand slips between us, and my cock gets painfully hard when I feel how ready she is for me after just some kissing.

I’ll go back to foreplay and take it slower in round two. Right now, I have to have her before I lose my mind. I have no idea how I even existed so many years without her.

With one hard thrust, I sink balls-deep into her, and some garbled noise escapes her while I bite back any sound that tries to rise.

“Fuck me,” she whispers, lifting what little bit she can and moving back down.

I grip her hips, holding her still, as my entire body trembles.

“Chase,” she whimpers.

“Give me a second,” I tell her softly, burying my face against her neck.

“What’s… wrong?” she asks hesitantly.

“Remember the first time you did the reverse cowgirl on me?” I ask her, feeling her smile without seeing it.

“You want the reverse cowgirl treatment? I can’t do that against the wall.”

I groan as that image springs to mind. Round two. She can do that in round two.

“I was talking about what happened when we did that position the first time.”

“Oh…
Oh,”
she says, a smile in her tone.

I’d rather last longer than five fucking seconds at this moment, so she gives me a second to get control. When I finally feel like a man instead of a teenager again, my hips move, and she moans while gripping my shoulders, her nails digging in.

“Right there,” she whispers when I thrust up harder.

Her body is pressed against mine, and my face is still against her neck as I take her over and over against the wall.

Sweat breaks out over my body, and I have to strain not to get off before she’s finished, but I’m determined. The second her walls clamp down on me and she screams my name, I let go, thrusting into her with abandon, chasing my own release.

Hot pleasure shoots up from my balls to my chest, and I barely keep enough strength to continue holding her as my entire body shudders against hers. She goes limp in my arms, and I smirk as I carry her toward the bedroom, staying inside her.

“I can’t have kids,” she says at the worst moment.

“I know. I don’t care. I’m not exactly the kind of guy who wants a houseful of babies, and I’ve spent too much time being selfless. I want to be selfish and greedy and lost in you for as long as possible, so sharing you with a child isn’t on my list of things-to-do.”

She sighs just before I collapse to the bed, still holding her to me.

“Mika, there’s seriously only one thing I want, so telling me I can’t have it is worse than anything you think I’m giving up. I’m still in love with you. Hell, I never stopped loving you.”

I’m full of cheese today, but I can’t stop it. I’m back to being a kid with the girl he loves, and there’s an actual future for us this time. It’s finally real.

She hugs me tighter, and I feel the dampness against my neck that tells me she’s crying. I hope those are happy tears.

My hand slides up and down her back for several minutes while she clings to me.

“I still love you, too,” she says at last.

My smile breaks across my face, and I kiss her shoulder, sliding my hands lower and lower.

“About that reverse cowgirl…” I let the words trail off, and smile when she snickers.

I’m ready for round two, and when she leans back with a smiling face despite her tears, I wink at her. Mika is still my girl. I’m finally getting what I want in life, and it seems surreal.

Just as she leans down to kiss me, we hear loud voices in the house.

“Mika! We’re going to talk, and you’re going to listen!” Aidan yells, and Mika squeals while diving off me and jerking the covers over us just as the door to her room flies open.

Aidan’s face goes from determined, to confused, to very fucking red as his eyes widen.

“You can save that talk. Mika’s coming home,” I drawl as Mika bites her lip and studies me. “And I’ll be staying with her.”

I can’t tell if he’s relieved or worried, but he nods while slowly backing out of the room and wordlessly closing the door.

“The pile of clothes in the hallway didn’t give you pause?” I hear Hunter asking from the other side of the door, and Mika groans while burying her face against my chest. I laugh under my breath while holding her to me.

Everything feels right for the first time in so damn long. It no longer feels like Mika’s holding back, and I’m sure as hell all in.

Sometimes life destroys you so that you can rebuild yourself to be bigger, better, stronger…