Pieces of You (14 page)

"When you're ready, Dad and I will be waiting for you in the parking lot. No rush." Her sad smile shakes. At first I think she's speaking to Ty and I don't respond. "Riley dear, did you hear me? Dad and I will wait for you in the car. Come when you're ready. We're taking you to get some food into you."

"Dad?" I ask confused. Was my dad here? I know they can't afford to come here again they've been gone since the day after the funeral. Couldn't get more time off work.

"You're our family now. Take your time." She assures me and slowly walks away leaving me to sit here watching his resting place.

"You know, Ty, I think I loved you. I think that from the first moment I saw you there, crouched in the dirt stealing carrots - I loved you. You made my heart skip a beat every time I heard your voice." I swallow hard and close my eyes tightly.

"I was so excited the first time I saw you at The Shake." My smile twitches. "When you came to me, it reminded me of a romantic movie. Protecting me from your best friend, who by the way came to see me at the hospital every day, and I really don't think he's all that bad."

A bird calls from the tree behind me and her song is peaceful and soothing. It pulls me slowly from my sorrow and makes me smile.

"I miss you, Ty." I stand and walk to his headstone. "I finally understand your pain, and I am so sorry you had to feel this way. I'm sorry I have to feel this way." I press a kiss to my fingertips and place it on his name before I turn to join his parents who are waiting for me in their car.

Epilogue

Smiling I offer the keys to the new family. They have two boys and a daughter. The boys are chasing each other through the house and I can only imagine this is how Ty and Tim would have been as children growing up together. Just the thought of those two as boys makes me smile.

"You're going to love it here, the town is so welcoming. Sue's is just down the street about five minutes. They have the best pizza."

"Sounds amazing! Thank you so much!" The wife beams and she takes the keys from my fingers. "I love the yellow sink. I just seriously LOVE the yellow sink."

It makes me laugh, remembering how much Ty hated that sink. "I knew it had to stay. It's original with the house. I just refinished it. Not everyone involved agreed with me." I chuckle remembering Ty's turned up nose when I told him we were keeping it. He honestly tried for days to convince me to get rid of it, to get something new to match the appliances, but I was the boss.

"Well, it's amazing."

"Thank you." I nod and rock back on my heels. Shaking their hands, I turn and walk down the three steps from the porch as they enter their new home. Climbing into Ty's pickup truck, I close the door and turn my head to look over the picket fence to the place I was standing when I first met Ty. I can picture him crouched in the dirt about to eat that carrot. The cocky way he hopped the fence when he introduced himself. The way he leaned against the pickup that is now mine.

I miss his smile.

Pulling away from the house, I drive to the cemetery to see him. The one thing I love about this town is no traffic and it won’t take me long to get to my destination. Justin Bieber comes on the radio, and I smile thinking of him. No tears follow the memory, just smiles.

I take the small frame from the passenger seat and climb out of the truck. Taking my time I look around and enjoy the day before I reach his final resting spot. There are fresh flowers on his marker, and it brings a bigger smile to my face. I'm glad to see that he's still getting visitors.

"Hi, Ty. Who brought you these?" I ask and look for the card.

Miss you every day, brother.

~ Tim

"That's so sweet. Tim is a great friend." I sit cross legged on the sod and stare at his name, running my fingers over the letters brushing off the webs and dust.

"I sold my house to an amazing family. They have two boys and a girl. I know they are going to love the house and the town. I've been staying at your place, packing it up slowly. Your parents have been amazing, and they are moving back. They will be taking over the house again. They offered me to stay, but I can't." I rest my forehead on the cold stone. "Dammit, Ty, I miss your face. I wish you were here."

I hear voices a few spots over and turn my head to see a young couple placing flowers. I can only assume it's for a parent or a relative. They don't cry, they just place the flowers. Say a few words. And move on. When they leave, I can get back to concentrating on Ty.

"So I'm moving back to the city. I have all my stuff in the back of your truck." I lick my lips and smile weakly. "I promise to take care of her."

Gripping each side of the marker, I pull myself in and press my lips to his name. "I have to go. I brought you a present and I'll leave it right here for you," I tell him while I gently press the frame into the grass, angling it so it touches his marker.

"I miss you so much," I whisper and take one last look at the picture before walking away. It's a picture of me that he had on his phone. Smiling with paint on my cheek. Messy hair and the biggest smile I have ever seen on my face.

Getting back into the truck, I flip down the visor and run my finger over the picture of Ty that is tucked in there. The smile comes back to my face, and my heart beats again. I did love Ty. With all my heart, I loved Ty.

I whisper and start the engine, "I'll never say goodbye."

I reverse out of my stall and point my car towards the interstate. I begin to shake as I approach the intersection to get on the road. It's been a while since I've been on one, but I won’t let the fear consume me. Ty wouldn't let me.

I hit the open road and roll down the window, allowing the wind to whip through my ponytail. Glancing at the visor I bite my lip. "Thanks for coming with me, Ty. I hate driving this road alone."

His parents were right. It does get easier. Little by little I will be better. I feel him with me now. I hold the memories and allow them to make me happy.

I told him the truth.

I do love him.

I know in my heart that I always did.

And I know in my soul, he will never leave me.

Acknowledgements

First off, I would like to thank my supportive, amazing family. To my hubby and my girls, you mean the world to me. I love you.

To my beautiful amazing fantastic editor KM Krick. Kathy, I love you! Thank you for your tears.

Beta Girls – Karie, Kellie and Ellee. You are amazing. Thank you for blindly reading this in public and cursing me because I gave no warning. My guess is next time, you won't be so trusting.

Ellee...thank you for the name!

Dirty Girls! All of you. You rock. You come from all over the globe, supporting me in English and your own languages. Thank you. I can't say that enough for having my back. So much love!

Special thank you to Entertwine Publishing for continuing to believe in this crazy Canadian. From the marketing girls to the proof readers. You are all amazing. Thank you all for everything you do and for continuing to keep our babies out there!

Lastly Angie. I never would have thought I'd be reaching 5 books. I figured just 1 and I would be done. I suppose, I believe in you as much as you believe in me and for the past couple of years, it has been proven time and time again with all of your support and encouragement.  Love you boss-lady!

Find Lisa Marie's other books here

http://www.amazon.com/Lisa-Marie/e/B00PZLDCHM

Keystrokes

Scripted (A Keystrokes Novel)

Detour (Terminal 1)

Derailed (Terminal 2)

Enjoyed this book? Please consider leaving an honest review. Just a few words can help tremendously. Thank you in advance.

Love stories of love overcoming all? Try Finding An Angel by PJ Belden. Read ahead for an exclusive excerpt…

Present time…

Here I stand with almost twenty years having gone past since I met the incredible Jessa Rawlins. Twenty-Seven-years-old now and everything still plays before my eyes as if it’s just happening. Our life together came down to moments, memories, tests, but most of all friendship and a love you can’t find but once in your life. Being with Jessa, well, at times it tested my willpower, my patience, but most of all my heart. Though, I spent many years ‘saving’ her, she saved me. Moving to this house when I was seven brought me a woman that I couldn’t stand to be without.

Twenty years, I shake my head at the amount of time. Twenty years seems like a long time, but when it’s meant to be spent with the one you love… It’s not long at all. It’s almost as if I’ve blinked and I stand in the very spot that I first met the woman of my dreams. The woman that changed me. The woman that will forever hold my heart.

Sadly, she is also the woman that fights an invisible battle. As the man that loves her completely, I can’t fight for her or with the invisible problem that was tearing her apart. All I can do is pray with her, hold her hand when she needs me to, or help her forget when the opportunity arises.

For so many years, even as a young kid only seeing her as my best friend, I constantly asked how I could help fight what I can’t see. The only answer I was ever given was to just be there for her because I was special to her if she let me in.

Smiling, I look off in the distance and remember the day she let me in just a little more.

Ten years old…

“Jessa? You out here,” I hear her giggle as I call for her.

“No,” she says, followed quickly by, “Dang it!”

She sits up and her beautiful light brown hair falls around her shoulders. The longer I know her the more I realize that she’s a living angel. We’ve been friends now for three years and every day I come home from school, I come right over here. Honestly, I just look forward to spending time with her.

It’s like looking through a kaleidoscope and seeing all the beautiful colors. No matter how many times you turn it, it looks different. That’s what she did for me. There’s light in my life when she’s around.

Basically becoming an only child after my older brother fights overseas for our country and he’s gone more than he’s home, she gives me a reason to laugh again. To smile. She finds such pleasures in the small things that I have taken advantage of for so many years.

“You always find me,” she pouts and looks so cute doing it.

I’m a ten year old boy. I may not fully understand what is going on, but I notice girls. Well, I notice Jessa at least. Every day she gets prettier and prettier. When I talk to my brother on the phone, he teases me about her and I turn red and yell at him. Dad says it’s normal and it’s nothing to feel embarrassed about. But with Jessa… Mentally, I shake my head. Jessa is definitely different.

Chuckling, I sit my safe space away from her. “Only because you answer me. I can’t see you when I walk up. So you are a good hider,” I grin at her as she smiles.

She looks down at her hands. “Can you play today?”

“Until Mom calls me for supper. Then I have to do my homework,” I point my finger into my mouth and make a gagging noise. This earns me another one of her rare and beautiful, almost music like, giggles.

“What’s it like going to school and…” her voice trails off.

“And what,” I ask, but my stomach did flips at the thought of her answer.

“You know,” she says as she pulls some grass next to her.

It’s in her voice. I can hear them – the negative thoughts about herself, but yet at the same time, I want an answer too. So, selfish as I may be, I push forward.

“No, I don’t know that’s why I’m asking,” I say gently, hoping and praying she won’t get angry with me.

Her head snaps up at me as she glares through the tears that shimmer in her eyes. “To go there and be normal. Not like me. Not a moron, a retard, a…”

“Stop!” I yell before I can stop myself.

Jessa jumps and a tear slips down her cheek. “You hate me too, don’t you?”

“No! I hate hearing you talk about yourself like that. It hurts me to hear you think so little of yourself. You’re none of those awful things you are saying,” I end softer.

“I hurt you,” she asks as she takes a deep breath.

Shaking my head, I try to find the right words for her to understand. She is super smart, but when it comes to things about herself she only sees the negative. It makes me want to hurt everyone that has made her this way. She’s incredible and deserves to know it.

“You’re my best friend, Jessa. When you say things like that about yourself… I don’t like it. Knowing that people have told you that makes me hurt for you.
You
don’t hurt me.
You
make me smile and enjoy the day when I used to just put on a pair of headphones and ignore it all. There’s no way you’d ever hurt me, unless you made me leave.”

“You’re my best friend too,” she says. “Well, you’re my only friend,” she admits.

“Then no more bad talk about my best friend, okay?”

Smiling, she nods her head. “Do you know what you’re friendship means to me?”

“Will you tell me?” I ask without directly answering the question.

What she does next shocks me so much that I lose my breath. She moves over and cups my face in her hands. All I can do is stare at her. Honestly, I’m afraid to breathe. Afraid that if I do, she’ll move away and I get a warming feeling from her touch that calms the anger that has been boiling since she started talking bad about herself.

“You’re good and there are so many bad people out there. When you spend time with me, I don’t see them or hear them. It’s just me and you. You are my savior and best friend,” she smiles big, presses a kiss to my cheek and moves away from me quickly to her safe distance.

“You… You touched me,” is all I can stammer out as I stare at her.

“Was that wrong?” Her eyes immediately going wide.

“No,” I answer quickly. “But you never get that close to other people outside your parents.”

She shrugs her shoulders, as if it wasn’t a huge step for her. “It felt right for that moment. Please don’t get too close without…”

“You don’t have to finish that. I’d never do anything to scare you.”

Ten years old…

“I know this stuff already Mama,” shoving angrily at the books that lay before me.

“Show me you know then,” Mom challenges me.

“What do you mean?”

“If you take this test and pass it, you don’t have to do this course and I’ll move you up… again... and try something more challenging to you. Do we have a deal?”

Looking down at the Math that lay out before me that is so easy for me it makes me feel stupid for having to do it. Maybe I am stupid and this really wasn’t easy and all my answers were all wrong, not right. Looking back up at the long test that she still holds in her hand, I knew I could do it. That’s what Hunter would tell me.

At first, I tried to make Hunter happy by calling him Drew. Sighing, I just don’t like the name. It doesn’t seem to fit him. Hunter is strong, protective, and that is the way I see him. Drew seems weak sounding. So, I quit calling him that. Of course, he asked me why I did. I just told him it was because it didn’t fit him. He’d smiled and said Hunter it is then.

Shaking my head, I turn my focus back to the matter at hand. Once again my thoughts went to Hunter. He’d tell me to excel at what I know and work hard at what I don’t. With determination, I smile at my mom.

“Okay fine. Deal.”

The front cover of the test says that it may take several hours to complete. My first thought is that Mom tricked me, but as I open the test and Mom removes all the school books and papers, I’m done before she even has lunch prepared.

“Can I take a break now? Maybe play for a little bit,” I groan.

Mom nods her head with what looks to be shock in her eyes. “Y-yes, you can have an hour break then we have more homework to do okay?”

“Yes Ma’am,” I answer as I head upstairs to my room.

Looking around my room, I try to figure out what I want to do. My room wasn’t big, but it wasn’t small either. My bed is right in front of the door with a nightstand on both sides. Often times, I’d just run in my room and jump on my bed. If I’m lucky, I don’t get caught.

My walls had pinstripes of pink on white. Pink flowered curtains hang around my window. In one corner, I have a bookshelf and the other there was a closet door and not far from it a bathroom door.  Right in front of the door and alongside my bed is a rug with all my favorite flowers on it.

Directly to the left of the door, I have a dresser with pictures of my favorite people on there. There’s even a picture of Hunter on there. Smiling, I grab the picture. He was smiling at the camera for my mom. His eyes, they just shine with happiness. Frowning, I put the picture frame back and sit on my bed.