Pierced (27 page)

Swallowing around the lump that seems to be wedged in my throat, I ask the one question I need to know, regardless of how badly his answer could hurt me. “What about me? Would I be here if I hadn’t forced the cleaning issue?”

He takes his time, not jumping to put my jumble of insecurities to rest. Finally, as my nerves are screaming, he says, “Maybe not as quickly as your first trip, but yes, I feel certain we would have ended up exactly where we are now.” He stares at the strand of my hair he’s twirling around his finger as if captivated. “From the moment we met, I have been helpless to stay away, even though I should. There is just something about you that draws me in, makes me want to believe in things that scare the hell out of me.”

I reach up, cupping his face in my hands and looking into his tormented eyes. “What’s wrong with believing in something, Luc?”

He is looking at me but appears to be a million miles away. I rub my finger soothingly on his cheek, bringing his focus back to me. Clearing his throat, he finally answers. “I’ve done it before. There was a time when I thought all I had to do was believe and things would work out. In the end, that belief forever damaged everyone involved. I just…don’t know if I can risk that again. I barely survived it the first time.”

I am unable to stop the tear that breaks free and slides down my cheek. I should end the questions now, but I don’t…I need one more answer. “Where does that leave us then?”

He kisses me gently, tracing my quivering lips with the tip of his tongue. “I don’t know,” he groans against my mouth. “I’m trying, baby; don’t give up on me yet.”

Wrapping myself around him, I give in to all the feelings he invokes in me. “I’m here,” I assure him, knowing that no matter how terrified I am of losing him in the end, I can’t walk away. He is right; we have been helpless to stay away from each other from the beginning.

Lucian is the type of man any woman would want, but he is so much more than what most see on the outside. The thing that draws me in the most is the troubled man I see glimpses of behind the polished exterior. His words tonight hint at the past tragedy that continues to haunt him even now. I want to push him to tell me everything, but I don’t; we both need the peace of communicating without words for a while. I stand, holding my hand out to him. He looks heartbreakingly grateful that I’m still here with him in the moment.

He takes my hand, and we walk to the bedroom. That night, for the first time, we make love. We have had sex many times, but tonight is vastly different from the other times. I feel cherished as he worships every inch of my body with his hands and mouth. No words of love are spoken, but the room is electric with emotion as we come together time and again. Dawn is chasing away the night when we finally collapse into each other’s arms, exhausted and content.

Chapter Sixteen

Lucian

I jerk awake, grabbing my throat as I choke. Next to me, Lia stirs but doesn’t wake. My heart is hammering and fear still clutches my insides. Fuck, one night of not self-medicating and I’m right back in Hell. I ease from the bed, careful to make as little noise as possible. Safely inside the bathroom, I go straight to the shaving kit tucked against the back of the cabinet, under the sink, and pull it out. My hands automatically lay out the small mirror and white vial. In less time than it would have taken to find a bottle of Tylenol, I’ve made two perfectly straight lines of white powder and rolled up a dollar bill into a tight, straw-like shape. A couple of snorts later, I repack the bag, tucking it once again securely out of sight.

The coveted feeling of calm races through my veins, and I’m once again unshakable. The nightmare is fading away, and my world is returning to the upright position. When a knock sounds at the door behind me, I jump guiltily. “Yeah, baby?” I call through the wood as I quickly wash my hands and scan the sink counter to make sure no evidence is left behind.

“Just making sure you are okay. I thought I heard you yell.” I cringe at her words, remembering my shout of relief as the cocaine had made its way into my system. If she knew my whole story, she of all people would probably understand my need for relief, but fuck, I don’t want her to know I’m using. I love that she looks to me for protection, and I’ll be damned if I want to seem like less in her eyes. I am just another messed-up person who needs a crutch to deal with his problems, but she doesn’t know that, and I want to keep it that way for as long as I can.

“Sorry, baby. Just…kicked the cabinet with my toe. Hurt like hell.” I wait another moment for the guilt of the lie to leave my face before opening the door to find her standing there. She has slipped on my shirt and as sexy as she is naked, she looks even better wearing my things.

We had spent a peaceful weekend together. After her ordeal in court on Friday, we decided to lay low for a few days. We spent Saturday exploring Biltmore Village, and Sunday we had returned to my house for lunch with Aunt Fae and a more PG-rated swim in the pool. It’s early Monday morning now, and we have a few hours remaining before either of us has to start the day.

Max let me know on Friday that Lia’s stepfather would remain in jail for the weekend but would possibly be released at some point today. I have given her strict instructions that she is to go nowhere without Sam. I will drive myself to the office this week so she can have my car at her disposal. Sam will take her to school and pick her up afterwards. I wanted her to take a week off, but she is in the middle of finals and refused.

I have no desire to go back to bed, but I know if I don’t, neither will Lia, and she has exams later on this morning. I pull back the bed covers and follow her under them. She turns on her side, and I wrap myself around her as naturally as if I have been doing the same thing for years. The routine we have developed over the last few weeks is both scary and comforting. Our talk earlier has shown me we are both wary and uncertain about what is happening between us. I have let her into a part of me no one has occupied before. I am clueless as to how this has happened so fast.

In truth, my first evening with Lia was for much the same reason as my first date with Laurie-to keep Monique off my ass. Lia was never supposed to be anything other than that. When I met her, though, something stirred to life and that feeling captivated me. My answer to the uncertainty those feelings provoked was to fuck her and get her out of my system.

Yeah, that worked really well; having sex with her only strengthened my fascination. I’m not completely clueless; I know part of the original attraction was the similarities between her and Cassie. Not physically, but their circumstances in life are alarmingly close. Lia, though, is strong and has refused to let life break her. Cassie was broken a long time ago and eventually shattered. Lia is the best version of a girl like Cassie. A girl I loved once, but it was never enough to save her from herself. I have existed in my fucked-up world for so long since that I’m like someone waking from a coma to face the first sunlight they’ve seen in years. The glare is bright, the world is confusing, and I’m floundering at every turn. However, when I behold the vibrant blue of the day and the fiery glow as the sunsets, I feel nothing but wonder in the moment. That is what I feel when I’m with Lia: awe as each new day dawns with her in my life and fear that one day, the sun will go away again and I’ll be back in the darkness, searching desperately for the light…for my Lia.

Lia’s steady breathing tells me she’s slipped back into sleep; I know I won’t be so lucky. The cocaine has brought all my nerve endings to life, and sleep is the furthest thing from my mind. Instead, I pull her closer and breathe in the floral scent of her hair against my nose. My mind gradually relaxes, and I drift in a light doze as sunlight slowly creeps into the bedroom through the tall glass windows. I register the clock moving closer to six and know Lia will need to be up soon; Sam is picking her up at seven-thirty for her early class. I lay there with my morning wood pushing against the delicious crack of her ass, wondering if I’m bastard enough to wake her early. When she wiggles back against me, the decision is made.

Dropping my hand down her body, I slip it under my shirt she is still wearing and cup her sex. She moans low in her throat as I dip a finger into her moist heat; it appears I’m not the only one who woke in a state of need this morning. I leisurely stroke her slit from top to bottom, stopping to apply more pressure to her clit before continuing. The slow pace has her restless. Her hips chase my hand, trying to apply more pressure where she needs it. Just as she is moaning in frustration, I slip my finger in her pussy, sinking it in to my palm. Her breath quickens and I know it won’t take much to push her over. I’m selfish, though, and I want my cock inside her when she comes.

Pushing my boxers down, I line my hips up with hers, curving closer to her ass. Before she can register my intention, the head of my cock is pushing against her entrance, and I’m slamming into her from behind. She is tight from this position, and I remain still inside her snug channel until I feel her loosen around me. The urge to start fucking her hard is almost impossible to resist, but I don’t want to hurt her, so I let her set the pace. Sweat is beading my brow when she finally starts moving her hips insistently, impaling herself back, begging for it harder…faster. I give her everything she wants, holding nothing back as I power into her pussy over and over. The sound of our flesh slapping together fills the room along with moans of pleasure.

My balls tighten as my release climbs. I grit my teeth, trying to wait for her. “Touch yourself, baby; I need you to come now.” As caught up in the moment as I am, she doesn’t hesitate. I feel her hand drop and graze my cock as it plunges in and out of her wet sex. She starts to tremble as she works her nub, telling me she is there. I go deep, twisting my hips to hit her sweet spot, and that’s it. We both shout as our release races through us. I shoot what feels like an endless spray of cum into her pussy as an orgasm so strong it makes me feel lightheaded blazes through my body. Afterwards, we stay connected, enjoying the moment of closeness before the ticking clock forces us apart.

I take a shower first, giving Lia a little more time to recover before handing the bathroom over to her. Mornings are something I enjoy now. This strange domesticity is foreign, but it makes me feel almost normal as I walk into the kitchen to pour us both a cup of coffee. Lia has been setting the coffeemaker at night, something I never bothered to do.

I am reading the morning news when she walks in later, dressed casually in jeans, a t-shirt, and flip-flops. She looks young and fresh. It’s hard to believe she’s the same woman I fucked to within an inch of both our lives less than an hour ago. That is part of her appeal, though, her innocence.

“Well, good morning,” she whispers against my lips as she leans down to kiss me. She takes a big sip from her now-lukewarm coffee before reading CNN over my shoulder. “Just once, I’d like to see the headline, ‘no news to report today, check back tomorrow’.” I chuckle in reply, thinking I’d like to see the same damn thing, but it’s a fantasy that’s never happening for either of us.

Looking at my watch, I know it’s almost time for Sam to arrive. She’s not going to like it, but it’s time to reiterate the rules for today; I’ll happily be the bad guy if it keeps her safe. I pull her down onto my lap, kissing the soft skin of her neck. I grin in satisfaction as she shivers in reaction. “Sam’s on his way. Remember, he drops you at the front door of St. Claire’s and picks you up there, as well. You’re not to go anywhere without him until we know what’s going on with your stepfather.” I work to keep my expression stern, and she pouts like a child.

“Is that really necessary? You need Sam far more than I do. How are you supposed to drive yourself into downtown Asheville today? Have you considered that traffic nightmare?” I am helpless to halt the grin her words bring forward. She’s a sassy little shit this morning, and I’m completely charmed, as usual, where she is concerned.

“I’ve been driving myself around this city for far longer than you have, baby. I’m pretty sure I can handle it. Just do this for me, please. After all, I cannot very well torture my employees and make money while I’m worried about you, now can I?”

Looking completely serious, which I know is a sham, she says, “Good point. I promise to follow the rules, Dad.”

I am in the middle of chasing her around the living room, intent on spanking her beautiful bottom, when a knock sounds at the door. As usual, Sam is right on time. Would it have killed him to be a few minutes late, just this once? Lia…the little wench has the audacity to stick her pink tongue out at me as she opens the door. Sam takes one look at our disheveled appearances and shakes his head, muttering something about refilling his coffee cup. I waggle a finger in her face, lowering my voice to promise, “Just delayed, baby, not forgotten.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” she says against my lips as she kisses me before leaving with Sam.