Piercing Silence (2 page)

Ahh
, Jacque thought,
that’s why she was
hesitant.
Only a select few in the pack
knew that Fane was dealing with some intense issues. It was a
touchy subject for a male wolf to admit he was struggling with
anything. The only person Jacque had spoken to about it was Jen.
Sally would have made that list as well, but she was MIA on
whatever thing it was Peri deemed important enough to steal away
the Serbia pack healer.

“He went to Vasile.”

Jen’s head snapped up and her piercing blue
eyes met Jacque’s. “He willingly sought out help from another male?
Are you two still…,”

“Good grief, Jen, I’m not going down that
road right now.”

“I was going to say are you two still
talking, you perv,” Jen grumbled as she picked Thia up and grabbed
a diaper from the diaper bag sitting by the couch.

Jacque watched her best friend as she
changed Thia’s diaper, and her own hand trailed to her swollen
stomach. She absentmindedly rubbed circles on her stomach as she
dreamed of what it would be like once her child was born.

Though she knew it was a little too late to
worry about it then, she wondered if she was ready to be a mom.
Could she be what her child would need? Or would she wind up
screwing up royally? What if she and Fane didn’t agree on how to
raise him or her? What if—her thought was cut off by Jen’s
voice.

“Hey, earth to knocked-up chick,” Jen said
as she snapped her fingers in Jacque’s face. She’d finished
changing Thia’s diaper and had placed the child back on her blanket
on the floor. She was such an easy baby. Jacque had decided it
wasn’t fair that someone as contrary as Jen had ended up with such
a pleasant child.

“What’s going on in that red head of
yours?”

Jacque laid her head back on the arm of the
couch and let out a long sigh. “I’m just having pre-mother jitters
I guess.”

“You were raised by one of the best ladies I
know. How can you be worried?” Jen asked as she raised Jacque’s
feet so she could sit at the end of the couch.

“Weren’t you scared that you wouldn’t be a
good mom?” Jacque asked looking at her friend.

Jen shook her head. “I was too busy worrying
about how to keep her alive once she was born and what my bull
headed mate was up to.”

Jacque nodded. “Oh, yeah, good point.”

“Red, you’re going to be a great mom. You
won’t be perfect, but hell, who is? We are bound to screw them up
in some way. The point is to just make sure it’s something they can
get counseling for later.”

Jacque laughed. “Only you would give that
kind of sage parenting advice.”

“What kind of advice is my mate passing out
this time,” Decebel asked as he strode into the room. His eyes
never left Jen, though he was addressing Jacque.

“Parenting advice,” Jacque answered.

Decebel chuckled. “I will admit she’s a very
good mother to our pup. Though she does tend to use her to
manipulate me.”

Jen raised a brow at him. “I will use
anything in my arsenal when it comes to the likes of you, B. We
females have to be ready to stand up to you stubborn, pig-headed
males. A little manipulation won’t hurt you.”

He reached down and picked up their daughter
and she looked even smaller in his muscular arms. Decebel was a
very good daddy. He adored Thia and Jacque thought it amazing to
see such a stern man soften under the power of a little baby.

“Enough advice, woman.” He reached out his
other hand for Jen. “It’s Thia’s nap time.”

A wide smile spread across her face. “I love
nap time.”

Jacque groaned. “I don’t even want to
know.”

Jen took Dec’s hand and let him pull her to
her feet. As she gathered up their things, she looked over at
Jacque and the gleam in her eyes was enough to let her know the
next words out of her mouth would not be innocent.

“Don’t judge, Red. Nap time is not just for
Thia’s wellbeing. You know how cranky I get if Decebel neglects his
husbandly duties.”

“I do not want to know anything about nap
time or his husbandly duties.”

Decebel tugged Jen’s hand and nodded to
Jacque. “We’re headed back to the Serbia pack mansion. Tell Fane
I’d like to speak with him when he’s ready.”

Jacque watched them leave, a slight frown
settled on her face. She had a clue what Decebel wanted to talk
with Fane about. She was just surprised that the Alpha was willing
to. Decebel was a man of few words and not one to really share with
anyone other than Jen. He must be very concerned about Fane to be
willing to discuss the issues Fane was having.

She let out another sigh and closed her
eyes, attempting to will away her worries. Jacque knew that
worrying didn’t fix anything. It would only cause her to lose
sleep. Unfortunately, knowing something wasn’t good for you and
stopping, because of that knowledge, wasn’t even in the same
ballpark.

Once again she was at a loss as to how to
help her mate. It wasn’t as bad as the first time because at least
now he was talking with her about it, but it frustrated her to no
end to not be able to help him get past it.

Even more frustrating was that she was the
cause of his pain and fear. The things that he had seen and heard
in the In-Between all had to do with her. If she wasn’t a part of
his life, if she wasn’t his mate, he wouldn’t have had to endure
things that were every male Canis lupus’s nightmare. She was sure
that Fane could have handled anything else. He would have been able
to move past any painful situation, so long as it didn’t concern
her. It ate at her insides like a hungry parasite that she was his
bane, his weakness, when all she wanted to be was a source of
comfort and strength for him.

Jacque thought back to the actions Decebel
had taken when he had realized what he needed to do to save Thia’s
life. Perhaps, it was time for Jacque to take her own desperate
measures to help Fane. Maybe it was time to consider talking to the
Great Luna and making a sacrifice for her true mate that would
spare him all of the pain he was going through. It would probably
destroy her, but it would mean that her mate was whole again. It
would mean that he could move forward with his life. She would give
up anything for him, even the life they’d built together if it
meant he would be happy again.

Chapter 2

T
he crisp, late autumn air rippled through Fane’s fur as he
ran. The forest around their pack mansion had become a place of
refuge for him. Though nothing could take the place of Jacquelyn’s
presence and comfort, the forest was a place for him to go when he
wanted to give his mate a break from having to put up with his ever
changing moods.

The trees surrounding him were tall,
creating a fortress of enveloping protection. The bushes, limbs,
and leaves were like fingers combing through his fur, welcoming him
back as he ran through and around them. The dirt beneath his paws
was cool and rich giving him good traction. He was made to be a
part of the nature around him. His wolf craved the call of the
wild, and Fane allowed him to answer it as often as he could. The
only thing that would have made it better was having their mate
running beside them.

She should be by our side
always,
his wolf growled at him. Fane
understood the desire to have her with them all the time, but the
man in him knew it simply wasn’t feasible. His wolf grumbled at
this but said no more on the matter.

“Decebel asked me to tell
you that when you are ready he would like to speak to you.”
Jacque’s voice invaded his mind and warmth
flooded him as it always did when she used their bond.

“I’m out running now and
close to their territory. I’ll just go see him now.”
He paused before adding.
“Unless you need me.”

“I always need you, wolf-man, but I can
spare you for a little while.”

He chuckled at her
playfulness. It was one of the things his wolf loved most about
her.
“How is our child?”

“At the moment, asleep.
Which is a nice break from the kicks to the ribs I’ve been
getting,”
she told him. He could feel her
anxiety as she thought about their coming baby. They had talked a
little about the fears that she had, but because of what Fane was
dealing with, it hadn’t been enough. He should be making sure that
she was happy, healthy, and excited about their pup. But instead,
he’d been a lousy mate only able to focus on his own
fears.

“I love you, Jacquelyn. I’ll be home
soon.”

“Love you back, wolf-man.”

He felt her pull away from him and was
surprised when she shut her end of the bond down tight. Fane came
to a sudden stop as his wolf briefly took control. His beast didn’t
like it when their mate shut down the bond. He struggled not to
turn around and race back to her. He knew she was fine. Maybe she
just needed an emotional break from all of his turmoil. The thought
constricted his lungs making it difficult to breathe. Was he ever
going to be the mate she needed him to be?

Fane regained control and forced his wolf to
once again head toward the Serbia pack mansion. As he ran and the
bond continued to stay closed, Fane vowed then that he would change
things. Whatever he had to do in order to heal whatever it was that
was broken inside of him, he would do it.

***

“What are you going to say to Fane?” Jen
asked Decebel as she lay in their bed with her head resting against
his warm chest as his hand stroked her back lazily. As she had
planned, nap time for Thia had turned into mama and daddy time for
them. Jen knew that Decebel had other things he needed to be doing,
pack management things, but he always put her first. If she said
she needed time with him, then he made it happen and for that she
loved him even more than she had the day she married him.

He was quiet for a few minutes but she
didn’t ask again. She knew he would answer when he had decided how
to word his response. Decebel was anything but hasty when it came
to words, which of course was the complete opposite of Jen. Another
thing she appreciated and loved about him, even if it did annoy the
crap out of her when they were arguing.

“I’m going to make a suggestion,” Decebel
finally spoke. “One of the hardest things for us dominant males to
do is ask for help. We feel as though we should be capable to
handle anything and everything because that capability is what
makes us dominant. In the wild, our cousins live and die by the
survival of the fittest. Females pick their mates based on who the
strongest male is. Pack Alphas are chosen by battles between wolves
that are determined to show that they are the one dominant, strong
enough and powerful enough to lead. Though we are more civilized
than our cousins, we still feel those drives to a certain
extent.”

“Really?” Jen asked with wide eyes and then
lifted a brow at him. “I never would have guessed that,” she said
dryly.

Decebel smacked her on the behind as he
huffed. “Behave female.”

Her lips quirked up in a small smile and she
would have retorted, but she decided to let it go because of the
worry she could see in his eyes. “What has you so worried, Dec?”
she asked in a voice she only used with him or Thia. They were the
only two who brought out the gentler side that hid beneath the
shield she kept in place for the rest of the world.

“Fane is still so very young. He’s mated and
been through much that has caused him to have to mature quickly,
but he hasn’t yet reached that place of confidence that comes with
age.” His fingers began brushing through her blonde locks as she
lay her head back on his chest and waited for him to continue.
“There are some experiences that can break a person, Jennifer.
There are some things that happen to a person that they just can’t
come back from.”

The ominous sound in his voice had her
pushing up on her forearms to look at him. “You think that’s what’s
happened to Fane?” She knew that her question held serious doubt
because she couldn’t believe that Fane could ever be broken; just
like the idea of Decebel ever being broken was laughable to her.
They were male Canis lupus―strong, powerful, dominant, Alpha―and
they kicked butts while taking names. How could any of them
possibly be broken?

Decebel held her gaze as he answered her. “I
don’t know. After the fight he and Costin had, he seemed to get
better and I thought he had finally made it through the darkness to
the other side, but something has pulled him back in.”

Jen was about to say something in response
but there was a knock at their door that had her snapping her mouth
closed.

“Speak,” Decebel growled. Jen grinned. He
hated having his time with her interrupted.

“Fane Lupei is here to see you, Alpha,” the
wolf on the other side of their door answered.

“Well, that didn’t take
long,” Jen mumbled as her mate climbed out of their bed, giving her
one of her favorite shows—the Decebel getting dressed show. She
liked the Decebel getting
undressed
show better, but she’d take what she could
get.

He glanced at her as he pulled on his pants.
“You have no shame, woman.”

A wicked grin spread across her face as she
propped her chin up on her hand. “And you hate that you love that
about me.”

He chuckled and slipped on a shirt. “As long
as your lack of shame only extends to me, I’m more than happy to
endure it. It’s when you decide to share that particular quality
with others that I am annoyed.”

“Annoyed? Seriously, what are you the king
of understatement-ville? Annoyed is not even close to what you
become.”