Pivotal Moments (In Time #1) (25 page)

Mom was silent. When I glanced up, she was lost in thought, dark circles under her eyes and shoulders slumped. I knew there was a big case and she had been working extra hours lately, but I hadn’t noticed the toll it was taking on her.

“I’m sorry, Mom,” I said quietly. “There’s just a lot going on, you know? Prom, graduation, moving to college…it’s a little overwhelming.” There was a twinge of guilt that I told her those things were bothering me when they weren’t. But there was no way I would tell her about Teagan, or how our conversation had affected me.

She smiled tiredly. “I know there’s a lot on your plate, sweetie. I just don’t want you to lose sight of your goals. You’ve worked hard to get where you are. Don’t let go now.”

I sighed and glanced at the mess on the table. The idea of sitting down and trying to work on assignments was sickening. But she was right. My personal drama couldn’t interfere with my future. With a sigh, I trudged to the table and sat. “You’re right. I’ll make sure it’s done before I go to bed.”

The doorbell rang, and Mom glanced at me with a raised eyebrow. “Pizza,” I said. “I made toast this morning without starting a fire. I didn’t want to press my luck.”

She chuckled and walked out to meet the delivery guy. She spoke to him briefly, then the door closed and she returned to the kitchen. We proceeded to fall upon the pizza like ravening wolves. Afterward, we cleaned up, and I took everything upstairs to my room to study.

Not once did Teagan message me.

It was after midnight when I finished the last of my assignments. Yawning, I packed everything up and grabbed my night clothes. I went to the bathroom and got ready for bed, looking forward to sleep.

When I came out, I grabbed my phone and plugged it in. The screen lit up, showing a new message notification. Heart speeding up, I quickly clicked on it. It was from Teagan.

Teagan: Sorry. Been studying. Talk to you later.

My goofy smile faded. He had totally just blown me off. Pissed, I replied.

Me: Later.

I shut the phone off, jumped in bed, and turned off my lamp. Something was going on. His message confirmed it.

Whatever it was, I’d deal with it tomorrow.

Chapter 21

You know it’s going to be a crappy day when you get out of bed and immediately fall flat on your face. 

When at last I kicked my legs free of sheets, I stood. My gaze fell to my phone, and I hesitated. Finally, I made myself pick it up and turn it on. No new messages. I wanted to hit something, or someone. I settled for glaring at the blank screen in accusation.

I wasn’t going to text or call. If Teagan wanted me, he knew how to find me. Whatever the hell was going on, I refused to beg for attention. I wasn’t a doormat. Those days were over.

I gathered everything for school and stormed down the stairs and out the door. Mom stood at the entrance of her home office, mouth open, but I didn’t say good-bye. I got in my car and slammed the door, jammed the key into the ignition, and started the engine. Then I rested my forehead on the steering wheel. I needed to calm down.

I finally got myself under control and headed out. A few minutes later, I pulled up in the parking lot and turned off the car. I gathered my stuff and headed into the building, then to my locker, but froze. In front of my locker stood Brody and one of the cheerleaders, blocking access. I stifled a groan, storming up to them.

“Hi, Ash,” the girl—I think her name was Amber—chirped. “I was just asking Brody where you were.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Oh-kay…what do you want?” I was so not in the mood for chipper.

“Are you going to prom?”

My other eyebrow shot up to join the first. I glanced at Brody; he was watching closely. I scowled at him and returned my attention to the girl. I opened my mouth to tell her I was, but paused.

Was I? Teagan was acting weird. I didn’t know what was going on.

A smirk slid over Brody’s face.

I refused to give that annoying little shit any satisfaction. “As far as I know we are. Why?”

“Because the prom committee needs someone to collect the votes for King and Queen. Tracey was going to do it…but to be honest, I don’t trust her. Would you be willing to do it? It would only be for about thirty minutes or so.” She gave a hopeful smile.

I blinked. “Uh, well…”

“You don’t have to tell me now,” she said with an excited smile. “Just give me an answer by Friday.” With that, she raced off with an indecent amount of energy. I glared after her.

“You don’t seem too certain about prom,” Brody said. “Trouble in paradise?” I shot him a withering glare and stepped around him to reach my locker. The bell would ring soon. He grabbed my arm. “There is, isn’t there?”

I pointedly frowned at his hand grasping my arm. When he didn’t move, I locked gazes with him. “Let me go, Brody.”

“Not until you answer me.”

“It’s none of your business.”

He smirked. “I knew this was coming.”

I twisted my arm away. “Screw you, Brody.”

He laughed.

The urge to slap him was nearly overpowering. I managed to control myself, barely. But if my day continued on its path to hell, I’d end up smashing my fist into his face.

Refusing to give him the satisfaction of a reaction, I made it to my locker and dumped what I didn’t need. Before he could say anything else, I ducked away and hurried to my homeroom class.

I spent the rest of the day avoiding Brody and enduring Tracey’s glares. Between that and fighting the overwhelming desire to text or call Teagan, I could barely follow the class lectures. It was quite possibly one of the longest days of my life.

When I finally got home that afternoon, I was exhausted. I dropped my bags at the front door and stumbled into the living room, making my way to the couch and plopping down. I sat there for a moment in a daze, then leaned back and closed my eyes. I’d rest for a few minutes before starting laundry and homework.

***

I woke up completely disoriented. It was dark, and took me a moment to remember where I was. I sat up and stretched, then rubbed my face. I frowned when my hand came away wet. I had drooled all over myself in my sleep. Lovely.

I stood up, and my stomach growled loudly. I made a face, then went into the kitchen and grabbed some leftover pizza. I felt about as motivated as a three-toed sloth, but I needed to get started on my homework. Graduation was looming, and Mom was right. I’d invested too much to let everything snowball out of control.

By the time I was done with all of my assignments, I realized I hadn’t once checked my phone. I should’ve been awarded a medal. Maybe I was managing to keep some independence from Teagan. Didn’t mean I wasn’t lonely, though.

My thoughts turned to Penny. Before I could talk myself out of it, I snatched up my phone and dialed her number. Her phone rang. And rang. And rang.

“Hello?”

I froze. What should I say? I should have planned this better, because now I just gaped like a frigging idiot. Sweat broke out on my forehead. I couldn’t form a single word.

“You have no idea what to say, do you?” Penny said, amusement in her tone. “How about this? I’ll start us off. Hey, Ash, how have you been?”

Why wouldn’t the ground open up and swallow me? Florida was known for sinkholes. Why couldn’t I get one right now? What the hell?

“Okay,” Penny said, that smile still in her voice. “This is where you say, ‘Hey, Penny. I’m doing pretty good. I’ve missed you, though.’”

I snorted. “Psht! Missed you? Please, this has been a vacation.” Finally, a coherent thought.

“Mmhmm. I’m sure it has,” she responded, a smirk in her tone.

The time she’d pulled away had been good for me. But she had been missed. “Your ego knows no bounds, chica.”

“Nah, I just accept how awesome I am, is all,” she replied brightly. “Seriously though, how have you been? I’ve missed talking to you.”

I took a deep breath. “I’ve been okay. It’s been crazy getting ready to graduate. Hard to believe we start college in just a few months.”

“Yeah, the time’s gone by fast,” she mumbled. “Oh! Guess what?”

“What?”

“I got accepted into the dance program at Emory!”

“Oh, my God! Penny, that’s great.” She’d spent years working for the opportunity to go to Emory University. It had been her first choice. “I’m so happy for you,” I said. “When did you find out?”

“I got the letter about a week and a half ago. I wanted to tell you, but…” She trailed off.

“I’m sorry,” I said quietly.

“Don’t be. I shouldn’t have been so harsh,” she said just as softly.

I shrugged, though she couldn’t see it. “It’s okay, Pen. You did what you thought was best. I get that.”

She sighed. “Doesn’t change the fact that you’re my best friend. What kind of best friend does that to someone?”

“One who cares,” I countered. “Besides, it all worked out in the end.”

“So I’ve heard,” she said smugly.

I frowned. “What do you mean you’ve heard?”

“I have my sources.”

“Would this source happen to be a douche nozzle who can’t keep his mouth shut?”

She let out a bark of laughter. “Yeah, it could be.” She sobered. “Connor says Teeg seems to really be serious about you. He came to see you weekend before last?”

“Yes. He spent Friday and Saturday here, then went back home on Sunday.”

“He seems like a good guy for you. I’m glad you found him.” She paused for a moment. “Anyway, rumor on the skreet is that you two are going to prom.”

“Skreet?” I said, laughing. “Is that your hood roots showing there?”

“Just keepin’ it real, babe.”

“Uh, huh.” I smiled. “He wants to take me. I wasn’t interested, but he insisted.” My smile faded. With our silence, would we still go?

“That’s great. I mean, how many college guys would willingly subject themselves to the drama of a high school dance? And all because he wants you to experience it.”

“I guess,” I muttered.

There was a brief silence. Then, “What’s going on?”

“Nothing. Why?”

“Aislinn, I know you. I know that tone of voice. Spit it out.”

I couldn’t tell her about Teagan—not until I knew what was going on. But I had to give her something, or she’d never let it drop.

“Mom has a date,” I blurted, then winced. I really needed to plan out my spontaneous phone calls better.

“Wait. What?”

Despite it all, I giggled. “I literally said the exact same thing.”

“I…shit, I don’t know…wow. I wasn’t expecting that,” she admitted. “Does Connor know?”

“No. And you’re not going to tell him either,” I warned. “Mom is really unsure, and the last thing she needs is Connor’s crap too.”

“That’s true.” She was silent for a second, then took a deep breath and exhaled. “So, how do you feel about it? I mean, she hasn’t seen anyone since your dad died, right?”

“Right.” I quickly told her what Mom had shared with me over the weekend, then concluded with, “She always felt guilty about accusing him. Like, if she dates, she’ll be the one who’s cheating on him or something.”

“That could be,” Penny mused. “I always thought it was weird that she didn’t go out.”

As selfish as it was, I never considered Mom being with anyone else. I felt like shit that it never crossed my mind that she might be lonely. Mom was with Dad, and I never thought otherwise.

“—worried how you guys will see her if she does.”

I frowned. “What?”

“She may think you guys will assume she’s replacing your dad,” Penny explained.

I bit my lip, rolling that around in my mind. Would I view her differently? The more I thought about it, the more I could see where Penny was coming from.

“What do you think about it, Ash? How do you feel?”

I paused to consider. I loved my mother. Despite everything she’d been through, she was a great mom. She’d always been there, encouraging us toward our goals. She’d always done everything she could to ensure we were happy and secure. Wasn’t it only fair that I want the same for her? Shouldn’t she be happy, have someone to push her toward new goals? Of course. She should have that and more.

“I think,” I said slowly, “that everyone should be happy.” I exhaled. “I think Dad would want that too.”

“Then you need to tell her that, hon. Otherwise, she’s going to keep pushing it all away.”

I shook my head. “It’s not me she has to worry about. I’ve already told her that. Connor is going to be the problem. He’s always thought Dad abandoned us and Mom was the saint who put up with it.”

“Oh, wow. I didn’t know,” she murmured.

“I only know because he got drunk in high school and went on an hour-long rant. Jace and I kept him from waking Mom.” I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

Penny was quiet for a heartbeat. Then she giggled.

I scowled. “What’s so funny?”

She just laughed harder.

“Penny, tell me,” I demanded.

“Okay, so…your mom will be dating, right?” She snickered again.

“Yeah, maybe. So?”

“Could you imagine Connor’s expression if he found condoms in her bathroom?” Penny disintegrated into gales of laughter.

“Oh, my God!” I screeched. “Dude, that is so not cool!”

She went off into peals of laughter, so loud I had to pull away from the phone. I scowled for a moment. “Seriously. Penny, that’s just…” I shuddered. “I don’t want to even think about that.”

“It does happen, you know. How do you think you got here?”

“Immaculate conception.”

She snorted. “Sure. You just go ahead and think that.”

We chatted for a bit longer. It felt good to reconnect. I appreciated her more now, and the friendship she provided.

It was late when we finally said our goodbyes and hung up. I avoided checking for messages until I’d gotten into bed. Still no word from Teagan.

I wanted to believe he was just busy. But a little voice in the back of my head tried to whisper doubts to me. I pushed it aside.

It was time to start moving beyond my insecurities.

***

The next morning, I woke up determined to not let any crap get to me. I had several papers due, and I had work today. I had enough on my plate; I wouldn’t go looking for more drama.

I got up and got myself ready, then I headed out. I was sitting at a stoplight when my phone alerted. My hands tightened on the steering wheel. I would wait until I got to school.

By the time I pulled into the parking lot, my heart was pounding. My hands were sweating, and my breath shook. I didn’t doubt who it was from. Exhaling, I turned and dug my phone out of my bag. This would be the one time I’d find it immediately. My hands were shaking so hard I could barely swipe the screen. Biting my lip, I tapped the icon.