Place Your Betts (The Marilyns) (39 page)

At the same time, it took the blink of an eye and a decade to cross the front yard. Disappointing his father was just about the worst feeling in the world. And he was about to become a big fucking disappointment. Tom opened the front door for Kaitlin and followed her inside. He gathered his courage as he took his time closing the door.

Betts and his father were side-by-side on the sofa, and Mama Cherie hummed a faint tune from the kitchen. The heavy scent of fried chicken clawed at his nose. Normally, he’d have jumped for joy over fried chicken, but tonight, the stench weighed down the air.

“Dad.” Tom’s voice cracked, so he cleared his throat. “Dad. There’s something Kaitlin and I would like to tell you.”

His father smiled and flopped his arm on the sofa back, pulling Betts in closer. “What’s on your mind?”

Betts nodded at Tom as she patted his father’s thigh. The old man looked ten years younger. She was good for him, calmed him, lightened his serious nature, and made him laugh.

Tears stung Tom’s eyes. He just couldn’t do it. His father was so happy, and Tom was about to turn his perfect world upside down.

Gabe sat up. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

He would have jumped up, but Betts tugged on his arm and pulled him back down. “Stay.”

“I’m fine…um, we’re, um…Kaitlin and I…” Tom couldn’t get his mouth around the words.

Kaitlin squeezed his hand and brushed her breast against his upper arm.

He had to be strong for her. She deserved a man, not a boy. Tom shoved his shoulders back and met his father’s eye dead-on. “Kaitlin and I are pregnant, and we’re getting married.”

Gabe mashed his lips together and stared at Tom. The disappointment started in his eyes and worked its way down his face. The only sound was meat frying in hot oil.

“We’d like your blessing—”

“Married?” His father’s eyes contracted to squints. “In this state, you need more than my blessing if you want to marry before you’re seventeen. Married? How will you support a family and finish high school? Much less college—”

“I can still work for Betts and go to school. Kat and I will make it, you’ll see. It will be hard work, but I don’t mind.” The pleading in his own voice pissed him off. Men didn’t plead.

“You’re too young to have any idea just how much you’re screwed. Your life is over. Every dream you have for the future is gone—over before it started. Without a college degree, you’ll work your ass off for minimum wage just to make ends meet. You can’t support a wife and child on a hundred dollars a week. That wouldn’t cover food.”

“We’ll manage.” Tom’s jaw set, and he could feel his temper rise. Why had he thought the old man would be reasonable? This was his life, and his father could go to hell.

“What about health insurance, food, and a roof over your head? Life costs money.” Gabe shook his head. “You’re too young to marry.”

“No, we’re not. We’re going to have a baby, and we’re not going to give it up. Not like I was. I’m not going to risk that my child gets neglected or isn’t loved like I was before you found me.”

Gabe sprang up from the couch. “How did you find out about that?”

“Ms. Gigi told me. She said something about how I was penance for a sin. She said that you and my mother were too young, but that you were trying to do right by me.” Tom took a step forward.

“When did you talk to Ms. Gigi?” His father looked completely shell-shocked.

“She volunteered in the high school library. She liked me.” So much was going on that Tom was having a hard time taking it all in. “She said that my mother wasn’t a bad person, but she needed a chance to live her own life…I guess you wanted a chance to live your life too.”

Betts’s face was paler than usual, and tears made her eyes all watery.

Tom turned his gaze back to his father. “I don’t get it. If I was ruining your life, why did you even bother to come and take me back? Hell, you gave me up, that should have been the end of it—”

Betts jumped up and stepped in front of Gabe. “Your father didn’t give you up, I did. Blame me, not him.”

“I don’t understand.” Tom looked at his father and then back at Betts.

“Your father got me pregnant in high school. We weren’t allowed to marry. I gave you up. Your father didn’t even know about you until you were two. He came for you as soon as he could. I’m the selfish, bad mother of whom Gigi spoke.” Betts tried to look heartbroken, but Tom wasn’t buying it.

She’d thrown him away like garbage.

Gabe turned on her. “I don’t ever want to hear you say that again. You had no choice. I threw you out and abandoned you. You couldn’t keep Tom. It’s my fault, my mistake.”

The full weight of their words hit Tom like a ton of bricks. His mother hadn’t wanted him, and his father thought that he was a mistake. It was a sucker punch to the soul.

Betts took a step toward Tom. “You have to understand, we didn’t have a choice—”

“No choice.” Tom glared at Betts. “Are you kidding? Everyone has a choice. I would never abandon my kid.” He turned his glare on his father. “And I sure as hell wouldn’t lie to my child. The two of you are quite a pair. You say I don’t know what love is, well, neither do you.” Tom shook his head. “A father who lies and a mother,” he could barely get the word out, “who never wanted me in the first place. Why didn’t you just abort me? That way my father wouldn’t have had to give up his dreams for me.”

“Don’t talk to her that way. In my house, you’ll show Betts and me respect.”

“Then I’ll get out of your house.” He tugged on Kaitlin’s arm. “I’m out of here, and I’m never coming back. Dad, it’s never too late to have the life you wanted. I won’t stand in your way.”

Tom practically pulled Kaitlin out the front door. Hell would begin an ice age before he stepped foot back in this house. The only family he had now was Kaitlin and their baby.

“Don’t you walk away from me,” Gabe called over Tom’s left shoulder.

If his parents didn’t want him, then he didn’t want them. He stepped out into the moonlight. His whole life had been a lie, and the only person he could trust was Kaitlin. They were all each other had.

“Two things.” Mama Cherie stepped in front of Tom. “Before you judge either of them, read these.”

She shoved a ribbon-bound packet of letters at him.

“And here.” Mama pressed a set of keys in his hand. “Gigi’s house. It’s better than sleeping in your truck.” She pulled Kaitlin in a hug. “Welcome to the family. Sorry we aren’t worth much.”

Kaitlin shrugged. “Nobody threw anything or made me cry. That’s better than my house.”

“Keep an open mind.” She kissed Kaitlin’s forehead. “Make him read the letters. Things aren’t as cut-and-dried as they seem.” Mama stepped aside.

Tom wanted to throw the letters in the burn pile, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Instead, he tucked them under his arm, propelled Kaitlin to his truck, opened the door, helped her up, and closed the door.

They’d go to Gigi’s and figure out what to do next. When he’d woken up this morning, the only thing he’d had to worry about was a math test on Monday. Now that seemed like the dumbest thing in the world. Everything had changed, and there was no way things would ever be normal again.

***

“Let him go.” Betts grabbed the back of Gabe’s shirt. “He needs to cool off, and so do you. Give it some time.”

“Time? Time won’t heal these wounds. How could you think that
now
was the right time to tell him the truth?” His tone was moving toward angry. “I appreciate all that you’ve done for us, but this should have been my decision.”

“No, it should have been our decision.” Betts didn’t lose her temper because she couldn’t scrape together the energy. “But you don’t really see me as Tom’s mother. He’s your child, not ours. I get that now. I may not have been there for Tom for the last sixteen years, but I have loved him for longer than anyone else. You think that you’ve sacrificed for him? You don’t know the meaning of the word. I tore out my heart so he didn’t have to live hand-to-mouth. I looked for him in every boy I saw, and I prayed every night that he was happy and healthy and loved. I will never forgive myself for abandoning him, and now, thanks to you, neither will he.”

She dropped his shirt, stepped around him, and walked to the door.

“Betts, wait.” Gabe touched her arm.

She shook it off. Finding Tom was her only objective. She had to make him understand. If he knew how much she loved him and would always love him, he’d forgive her.

Betts threw open the front door, stomped through, and slammed it for all she was worth. Tom didn’t have to love her, but by God, he’d listen. She pulled out her car keys and slid into the driver’s seat of the Mustang. The passenger’s door banged open, and Betts tensed in preparation for another round with Gabe.

Mama slid in.

“He’s at Gigi’s. I gave him the keys.” She patted Betts’s knee. “What are you waiting for? Drive.”

Betts turned the engine over and floored the gas. “I’m gonna sign the land over to Tom and build him a house. I’ll set up a trust fund for him and the baby. No one will have to quit school, and I’ll make sure they never want for a thing—”

“Sounds like you’re leaving.” Mama sounded matter-of-fact.

Mama never judged. Yes, she was a pain in the ass and embarrassing, but she never backed down, and she was loyal. Betts had always known she was loved.

That was more than she’d ever done for her own child. Guilt and regret took turns stabbing her in the back. “I don’t get it. All I ever wanted was to be normal, have a real home with a mother and a daddy and a golden retriever named Tiffany. I wanted to wear nice, new clothes, have Sunday dinners after church, go to the prom, barbeque with my neighbors, be invited to slumber parties, and walk around the town square and have people wave and talk to me because they knew me and we grew up together, not because I’m famous. I wanted a normal life—”

“Baby girl, you can’t live in a sitcom. Behind those cameras are problems and heartache and imperfection. Life is messy, and it’s only as normal as you make it. Just because you didn’t have a conventional childhood doesn’t make you any less worthy of love. The kids whose lives you wanted weren’t happier than you; their moms bribed them to smile for the camera. Everyone has regrets. Life isn’t about counting those and rehashing them, it’s about loving who you are and finding your place. You were born extraordinary—that is your normal. Let go of the ideal because no one can measure up.”

“Gigi measured up—”

“The hell she did. She was too busy whopping people over the head with her measuring stick to take a look at herself. This is my fault. I should have never left you with her, but I made a mistake…lots of them. Driving those drugs across the border was easy money, and we were about to be evicted. I should have done better. I hated sending you to stay with that bitch even if it was just for summers and school holidays, but I had no choice. I made a mistake, but you’re the one who paid for it.” Mama brushed a tear off her cheek. “I should have been there for you. You needed me and I failed you.”

“It was my choice. I didn’t tell you I was pregnant because I didn’t want you to feel guilty.” Betts had finally said it. “And I couldn’t face your disappointment.”

“Disappointment? You couldn’t be a disappointment if you tried.” Mama’s tears were coming faster.

Betts covered her mother’s hand with hers and squeezed lightly.

Mama brushed away her tears and sniffed loudly. “Hell, you’re tight-assed Republican, and I’m still proud of you.”

Betts could count on one hand the number of times she’d seen Mama really cry.

Betts squeezed her mother’s knee. “Now who’s wallowing in regret?”

“Don’t tell anyone. I’d hate for my carefree image to be ruined.”

Knowing her mother regretted sending her to stay with Gigi healed a crack in Betts’s heart she hadn’t realized was there. In some small way, she’d always felt like her mother had chosen the party life over her.

“I wouldn’t have agreed to mule, but I was desperate. We needed a place to stay, and I wanted to keep you at the fancy school. Your scholarship only paid for tuition. I had to cover the rest—”

“I could have transferred to public school,” Betts said.

“Bite your tongue. You loved that school and were happy there. I wanted the best for you.” Mama’s voice was strong again, all signs of tears gone. “If I could change the past, I would have done so many things differently. You needed me and I wasn’t there. I will never forgive myself.”

“Oh,” was all Betts could manage. All these years of thinking she hadn’t been wanted had been a waste of time. Understanding other people’s motives made all the difference. Her mother had wanted her; Gigi hadn’t.

 “Have you ever been in love?” Betts glanced at Mama and then back to the road. They talked a lot but rarely about anything important.

“Not in the way you are with Gabe. Well, maybe once, but it wasn’t meant to be. Your father was married to someone else. He offered to leave her, but she needed him more than I did.”

“Do you regret it?” Betts and her mother had talked around the subject but never actually hit the nail on the head.

“Yes. I always figured we’d get together someday, but it didn’t happen. I miss the pounding heart and simple joy I got from being with him. I’ve loved many men, but I’ve only been in love once.” Mama sniffed. “You’re lucky. You get your someday now.”

“You hate Gabe.”

“No, I don’t. Who do you think called and asked me to come up?” Mama laughed. “He thought you might need some moral support and help with the paparazzi.”

“Why didn’t you leave when things calmed down?” Betts asked. It was sweet and thoughtful and not something she’d ever thought Gabe would do. The angry jabs he’d taken at her earlier were still raw, but at least she knew that he loved her.

“You needed me. Do you know what it’s like to have a child who’s so self-reliant she doesn’t need you?”

Since Betts had only met Tom as he teetered on manhood, she absolutely knew how it felt. “It sucks.”

Mama nodded, making the moonlight shining behind her back flicker. “You needed me so I came.” She touched Betts’s thigh. “Just like Tom needs you now. No matter what he said or how angry he was, he needs you.”