Plain Admirer (15 page)

A terrible buzzing filled her ears. This couldn’t be happening. He hadn’t brought her here for a picnic. He’d brought her here to humiliate her. She should have known better. What a fool she was.

She pressed a hand to her forehead. “It was you! All this time I thought I was reading heartfelt letters from some stranger. Only I wasn’t. I was the victim of your sick joke.”

He took a step toward her. “No, Joann, it wasn’t like that.”

She was so embarrassed she thought she might die from shame. When she thought of the things she had confided to him it made her ill. “Did you know it was me all along?”

“Of course not.”

“You knew before today, didn’t you?”

“I couldn’t tell you. I wasn’t sure you even liked me.”

He knew and he’d said nothing. How humiliating. “I have a newsflash for you, Roman Weaver. I still don’t like you. You are mean and underhanded and dishonest. I can’t believe I ever thought I did like you. Never speak to me again.”

Joann dashed past him and began running through the trees. She heard him calling, but she didn’t slow down. She ran past his buggy and across the pasture until she was so out of breath that she had to stop and lean against the gate.

What an idiot she was. He must be laughing his head off. Tears blinded her. She wiped them away. “I don’t cry. I never cry.”

Only today, she did.

* * *

Roman couldn’t believe how things had gone from so good to so bad in a heartbeat. He gathered up the remains of their picnic and followed Joann. She had to listen to him. He had to make her understand that he had been afraid of losing her friendship. Only now, it seemed that he’d lost so much more.

She wasn’t waiting at the buggy. He repeatedly called her name, but she didn’t answer

So much for his bright idea. He left the lake and drove to her brother’s house. She wasn’t there. She hadn’t come back and they didn’t know where she might be.

Defeated, Roman went home. Perhaps if he gave her enough time, she would cool off and be able to see that he did care for her.

The next day, he waited impatiently for her to come to work. She didn’t show up. He started to worry. He left work early and went back to her brother’s house only to be told she still hadn’t come home. No one in the family had seen her.

Where could she be? Who would she seek out? Sally perhaps?

He set his tired horse in motion once more and drove out to Sally’s home.

Sally was hanging clothes on the line when he drove in the yard. He left the buggy and crossed the lawn with long strides. “Is she here?”

Sally looked at him as if he were crazy. “Is who here?”

“I don’t want to play games. Is Joann here?

“She is not. What’s going on?”

“I need to speak to her. I need to make her understand that I care about her. I hurt her without meaning to.”

“How?”

Roman hesitated but finally explained what had been going on. Sally was every bit as upset as Joann had been. “You weasel. First, you take her job, she loses the home she’s always wanted and then you toy with her affections. I wouldn’t want to see you again either.”

“Wait a minute. What do you mean I took her job?”

“Her job at the newspaper. She was fired so you could have it. Did you really think she only wanted to clean up after you?”

“I thought it was odd, but she said it was what she wanted.”

“No, the job you could care less about is the job she wanted. The job she needed.”

“So she could buy a house of her own,” he said softly, remembering her letter.

Sally’s attitude softened. “You really didn’t know?”

“That my uncle put her on the cleaning staff so that I could have her job? No. It never crossed my mind.”

“Not only did you get her job, she had to teach you how do it. It wasn’t fair of Otis Miller to do that.”

“No wonder she seemed to resent me. How can I make this right? I do care about her. You must believe me.”

“To start with, you’re gonna have to eat a lot of crow.”

“I can’t tell her how sorry I am if I can’t find her. Do you know where she is?”

“Maybe I do, and maybe I don’t. If you are sincere about patching things up with her, I’ll see what I can do to help.”

The truth dawned on him in a blinding flash. “Sally, not only am I sincere about patching things up with her, I want her to be my wife. And I don’t care who knows it.”

“Well, that puts a slightly different slant on things. Okay, I’ll help, but you have to go home now.”

“Go home? I can’t. Not until I’ve talked to her.”

“Men are so clueless sometimes. You have to give her a little cooling-off time. Joann is a smart woman, but she doesn’t have a lot of confidence. She’s felt unwanted most of her life. Thinking that someone loves her for herself is not something that she’s used to doing. Give her some time to let the idea sink in. If she still isn’t willing to talk to you in a few days’ time, then drastic measures will be needed.”

He didn’t like the sound of that. “What kind of drastic measures?”

“Nothing for you to worry about. Go home and wait until I contact you. Trust me.”

He didn’t want to go home. He wanted to find Joann and make her understand how much he loved her, but it didn’t look like that would happen tonight. It was with a heavy heart that he left and drove away.

When he arrived at the sawmill, he saw the sheriff talking to his father. Andrew came and took the horse from Roman. “The sheriff wants to talk to you.”

“All right.”

Roman walked toward the sheriff and his father. “How can I help you, Nick Bradley?”

“I came to let you know we arrested someone for the arson at the school and for the vandalism at your uncle’s business.”

“Who?”

“Robert Smith, Brendan’s younger brother. The woman who came by the printing office after the attack is his girlfriend. The farmer out on Bent Tree Road was able to give me a description of the car they saw speeding away. When I ran the license plate number I received in the mail, her name came up. Her car matched the description of the one at the haystack fire. When I confronted her, she told me everything.”

Roman shoved his hands in his pockets. “Did she say why?”

“She thought they were having some harmless fun. They were getting their kicks out of torching a few haystacks. It wasn’t until Robert wanted to burn down the school that she started getting worried. She was the one who called in the tip to us that day. After Otis was hurt, she got scared and broke it off with Robert.”

“Why does he hate us so?” Menlo asked.

“She said he hates the Amish because they won’t fight for their country. He tried to join the Army, but he was rejected. He thinks the Amish are a bunch of hypocrites.”

Shame filled Roman. “If I had asked for leniency for his brother, maybe none of this would’ve happened.”

“In my book, Brendan got what he deserved. He didn’t know and he didn’t care that you were standing at the side of the road when he sideswiped you. He thought it would be funny to knock the door off your buggy because the Amish don’t report crimes to the law. Usually. This time you stopped a crime, Roman. According to Jenny, Robert was planning to torch this place next.”

Menlo laid a hand on Roman’s shoulder. “God was merciful to us.”

The sheriff nodded. “I just wanted you to know that the people around here are safer thanks to you.”

As Sheriff Bradley walked away, Roman called after him, “Sheriff, will you do me a favor?”

“If I can. What is it?”

“Will you tell the attorney for Brendan and his brother that I will be pleased to come speak on their behalves? Forgiveness is about more than words. It has taken me a while to understand that.”

The sheriff nodded and smiled. “I’ll be happy to pass on the message.”

Chapter Fifteen

J
oann sat on the window seat of Sarah’s old house and watched the activity on the street below. She was grateful that Sarah and Levi had allowed her to stay in the empty house. Levi had brought over a cot for her to sleep on. It was all she needed at the moment. A place to hide until her heartache healed.

A buggy pulled up in front of Levi’s shop and her cousin Sally stepped out. Tears pricked Joann’s eyes. She didn’t want to see anybody. She hoped that Sarah wouldn’t reveal where she was.

Her hope was in vain. Only a few minutes after entering Levi’s shop, Sally emerged with Sarah and they both crossed the street toward her.

She heard the front door open downstairs. Sally’s voice called out, “Joann, are you here?”

Maybe if she stayed silent, they would go away. She should’ve known better. Sally came tromping up the stairs. “I know you’re up here, Joann. Answer me.”

“Joann doesn’t live here anymore. She ran away and joined the circus.”

The bedroom door flew open and Sally breezed in. “I’ve often thought that being an Amish circus performer would be a truly difficult way to live. But if that’s what you want, I’ll support you.”

Joann sighed. “Go away, Sally. I don’t want to talk to anyone.”

Sally sat beside her on the window bench. “So don’t talk, just listen.”

Sarah came into the bedroom and stood with her arms folded. “Don’t bully her, Sally.”

Sally sat back. “You’re right. I am trying to bully her into believing that she is a terrific person and that any man would be blessed to have her be part of his life. Even Roman Weaver.”

Joann said, “I appreciate the sentiment, but that is hardly the case. I’m a sad, pathetic excuse of a woman who fell in love with an idea, not with a real man.”

Sally said, “I have to admit that he’s not much of a catch. Who would want a man who can’t hold you in his arms?”

Joann glared at Sally. “He only needs one good arm to put around me. If he lost both arms he would still be smarter and more determined than any man I know.”

Sally smiled. “That’s a pretty strong defense of someone you don’t see as a real man.”

“You know what I mean.”

Sarah came and sat down on the other side of Joann. “I only have one question for you. Do you love him?”

“How can I love someone who lies to me, who tricks me into thinking that he is something he’s not?”

Sarah took Joann’s hands in her own. “That wasn’t exactly a no.”

“Okay, I love him, but that doesn’t change anything.”

“She’s right,” Sally said. “We just have to figure out what to do now.”

Joann stood and crossed the room before turning to face them. “I’ve come to a decision.”

“Not the circus,” Sally said dryly.

“No, not the circus. I have an aunt who lives near Bird-in-Hand, Pennsylvania. She left the Amish years ago. My brothers have forbidden anyone to speak about her, but I believe she’ll take me in. I’m family, after all.”

Sally slapped her hands on her knees. “Wonderful. Now that that’s taken care of, all you have to do is write her and wait for an answer.”

Joann frowned at her. “Are you that eager to be rid of me?”

“Of course not,” Sarah said. “We just want what is best for you.”

Sally stood. “In the meantime, we need to get you a pair of new dresses. You can’t go to her looking like a pauper. I’ll bring some material over tomorrow and we can get you ready to start a new and different life. Wow, I envy you that.”

Sally’s eyes grew sad. Before Joann could ask her what was wrong, she perked up and said, “I’ll be back first thing tomorrow morning.”

She charged out of the room, but Sarah remained. “Joann, you are welcome to stay with Levi and me for as long as you like. I hope you know that.”

“I appreciate that, Sarah, but I need to move on with my life. There isn’t anything for me here.”

“I think you’re wrong about that, but I’ll accept whatever decision you make.”

Sarah left and Joann was alone again.

* * *

Roman was almost out of patience.

Sally had told him to have faith and wait until she contacted him, but it had been a week and there was still no sign of Joann. Each day he grew more afraid that he had lost her forever. He was proofreading an article for the magazine when the front door of the shop opened. He looked up hoping it was Joann, but it was finally Sally.

“It’s about time. Where is she?” he demanded.

Sally gave him a look of disgust. “I have no idea what she sees in you.”

“I’m sorry. Hello, Sally, how may I help you?” He forced a smile to his stiff lips.

“You need to go fishing right now.”

“Is this some kind of joke, because if it is...” His voice trailed off. He was in no position to issue an ultimatum and she knew it.

“Joann is packed and ready to go to her aunt’s home in Pennsylvania. Her aunt’s letter arrived today. She wants to leave on this evening’s bus. All that she’s lacking is her fishing pole. She went to collect.”

“To her brother, Hebron’s place?”

Sally shook her head. “He’s the one who threw it in the lake. Long story. She said she kept it in a hollow log at the lake. Since that was where you exchanged letters, I assume you know where she is going.”

He got up from his desk and grabbed his hat. “I could kiss you, Sally.”

“Yuck. Not interested. You should hurry. She left Sarah’s home thirty minutes ago.”

When Roman reached the lake he prayed he wasn’t too late. He rounded the last bend in the path and held his breath.

She was sitting on the fallen log by the edge of the water. For a moment, he was too scared to speak. What if he couldn’t make her understand? What if he had to spend the rest of his life without her?

Unless he could convince her of his love, that was exactly what would happen.

He prayed for the strength and wisdom to say what she needed to hear. Suddenly, a deep calm came over him. He knew in his heart that she was the woman God had chosen for him. He took a deep breath and walked into the clearing. “Are they biting today?”

She tensed but didn’t look at him. “I don’t know.”

At least she wasn’t running away. He took a seat a few feet away from her on a log.

“What do you want, Roman?” There was so much pain in her voice that he wanted to wrap his arm around her and hold her close, but he knew that would be a mistake.

“I want you to be happy, Joann. I know you don’t believe that, but it’s the truth.”

“You hurt me.” Her voice quivered.

“I know, and I am so sorry.”

She crossed her arms and raised her chin. “If you have come seeking my forgiveness, I give it freely.”

He chose his words carefully. “I didn’t come seeking forgiveness.”

For the first time she looked at him. “Then why are you here?”

“Because you are here. No matter where I go, I’m lonely if I’m not with you.”

She bowed her head. Her voice was barely more than a whisper. “Stop pretending. I’m not the kind of woman a man like you falls for.”

How could he make her understand? He moved to stand in front of her and then dropped to his knees. “Oh, sweet Joann, you are exactly the kind of woman I have fallen for. I need you.”

“Don’t,” she whispered, turning her face away.

“I have to say this and you have to hear it. I need someone smart and steadfast who will overlook my mistakes. I need someone kind and patient, someone who can teach me to be a better man. I need you, my darling teacher.”

She looked down at her clenched hands. “You could have your pick of the pretty girls for miles around. You don’t have to settle for someone like me.”

“Why would I want a pretty girl when I have a beautiful woman right in front of me?”

“I may be a lot of things, but I’m not beautiful.”

“I know you don’t think you are, but my eyes see the face of an angel when I look at you. If you would but smile at me, my heart would be made whole again.”

“I don’t believe you.” She started to rise, but he grabbed her hand.

“What can I say that will make you believe me?”

“Nothing.”

He let go and sank back on his heels. “Is it because I’m crippled?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Roman.”

“How is it ridiculous to lay open my heart and then have you trod on it?”

He rose to his feet and walked to the edge of the water. With his head bowed, he said, “If my disability repels you, I can accept that.”

He felt the touch of her hand on his back. He turned to face her.

* * *

Joann had never been more confused and more frightened in her life. Here was everything she wanted and everything she knew she could never have. “I don’t find you repulsive. No woman could.”

“Then why won’t you marry me?”

She bit her lip and looked down. “I’m not the marrying kind. I was born to be an old maid.”

He put his finger under her chin and forced her to look at him. “For such an intelligent woman, that is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

There were tears in his eyes. It broke her heart to see him in pain. “It’s true.”

“No, the truth is that I love you and you love me. You’re just afraid to say it.”

He was right. She was terrified. What if he changed his mind? What if he realized what a poor bargain she really was? How could she face loving him and losing him?

He kissed her cheek. “Be brave, my darling, Joann. You were chosen by God to be my mate. Have faith in God’s mercy. Believe that I love you, that I vow before God to love, honor, and cherish you my entire life. Please, I beg you, say that you love me, too.”

How could she refuse him anything? She searched her soul and found the faith and courage she needed. She closed her eyes and took a plunge into the unknown. “All right. I love you, Roman Weaver.”

He cupped her cheek with his hand and kissed her gently. He drew back and gazed into her eyes. “You have made me the happiest man in the world.”

She smiled as he pulled her close and wrapped his arm around her. Her arms moved up to circle his neck. It felt so right and so wonderful to hold him. It was like a marvelous dream and she was very much afraid she would wake up to find it wasn’t true.

“Tell me the truth, Joann. Does it bother you that I only have one arm to hold you with?”

She pulled back a little so that she could see his face. “
Nee,
it does not bother me. What bothers me is that someday you may not wish to hold me.”

“That day will never come.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“How can you be sure the sun will rise tomorrow?”

“I guess I can’t be. I just have faith that it will.”

“Then I ask that you have faith in me, too, for I will love you until the day I die.”

“Oh, Roman, what have I done to deserve such joy?”

“I don’t know, but I am ever thankful that God has smiled upon us.”

She looked out over the waters of the lake. “I’m going to miss coming here to read your letters.”

“I don’t see why we have to stop writing each other. Our wedding won’t be until late November.”

“Our wedding. That has a wonderful sound to it.”

“It does, doesn’t it? Mrs. Roman Weaver. I like the sound of that, too.”

She laid her head against his chest. “Mrs. Roman Weaver. I
love
the sound that. You know what’s funny?”

“What?”

“Sarah told me that we would be a good match.” She looked up at him and smiled.

He kissed the tip of her nose. “Remind me to thank her.”

“What is your favorite kind of pie?”

“I like them all, but I guess I would have to say my favorite is pumpkin.”

“Pumpkin. I like pumpkin pie. That will be easy enough.”

“Do I want to know why you’re asking that question?”

“Levi said the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. That looks fade but good cooking never does.”

“Obviously, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I’ve never tasted your cooking. You found the way to my heart with pen and ink and a fishing rod.”

She chuckled. “I thought the Friendly Fisherman was an ancient Amish grandfather who shared his wisdom with me. What did you think the Happy Angler was like?”

Suddenly she stepped away from him and fisted her hand on her hips. “You said I was someone who would benefit from a dunking in the lake. That I was stubborn, willful, hard to please, and quick to call attention to your failings.”

He reached out and pulled her back against him. “And what part of that isn’t true? Be honest, soon-to-be Mrs. Roman Weaver.”

“I’m not stubborn.”

“Yes, you are, and I love that about you.”

“I’m not hard to please.”

“Have you ever considered marrying anyone else in Hope Springs?”

“No.”

“There are a lot of nice fellows hereabouts. Do you agree?”

She nodded. “There are some nice boys around here.”

“And yet you have only agreed to marry me. Therefore, you are hard to please, but you knew that and waiting for the right man to come along was worth the wait.”

“You have yet to prove that you are worth the wait.”

He cupped the back of her head and leaned down until his forehead rested against hers. “Then I had best get started, hadn’t I?”

“
Ja,
you should,” she answered and gladly raised her face for his kiss.

* * *

A long time later, Roman pulled his horse to a stop in front of Sarah and Levi’s home. Joanne hated to see the day end, but she knew it had to.

“I’m glad I had the chance to live in Sarah’s house before it was sold.”

Roman studied her for a moment. “Is this the house you wanted to buy?”

“This is the one.” She smiled at him. “But I will enjoy living anywhere you are.”

“I’ve been thinking about that. My arm may not ever be better than it is now. My younger brother can handle the sawmill with my dad. Otis would like me to take over his business when the time comes.”

“You do a wonderful job there.”

He leaned close and kissed her nose. “I had a good teacher.”

She blushed and laid her head on his shoulder. “There are many things that we will learn together. How to raise children, how to bring them up to value our way of life, how to grow old together.”