Plain Proposal (23 page)

M
IRIAM WAITED WITH SHELBY ON THE FRONT PORCH
Saturday. It was almost noon, and Jesse was due to pick up Shelby any minute. Miriam struggled to figure this out. For years she’d known that Jesse was smitten with her, and it gave her a strange sense of comfort. It was wrong, since she’d always wanted to be with Saul, but the feelings were there anyway.

“I offered to make lunch.” Shelby ran her hands along a crisp white shirt that was tucked into a pair of dark blue jeans. “But Jesse said he would have his mother pack us a lunch.”

“Why did you wear a white shirt to go fishing?”

Shelby glanced down at her blouse. “I don’t know. I like this shirt.” She cringed as she studied her choice further, as if seeing the bright white fabric for the first time. “I’m going to go change.” She jumped up from the rocker she was sitting in. “I won’t be long!”

Miriam slouched down into a rocker and tried to fight the self-pity that lingered around her. No Saul. And now no Jesse. Why was it that she’d never really noticed Jesse until he took an interest in Shelby? He was handsome. And there would never be a worry about Jesse leaving the community. Jesse would be a wonderful husband and father.

What are you doing?
Miriam shook her head to clear her wicked thoughts. She knew she didn’t want Jesse, but rationally he would be the best person for her. Then everyone would be happy—everyone but Miriam. And—now—possibly Shelby.

She watched him pull into the driveway, so she straightened her curved spine. She reminded herself that there was a bigger issue at hand. What if Jesse really likes Shelby? Her cousin would be leaving, and Jesse could end up hurt. She briefly wondered if Jesse would consider leaving the community. What if he fell for Shelby? Would he so willingly follow her, like Miriam had been so ready to follow Saul—if he’d wanted her to?

“
Wie bischt
, Miriam?” Jesse strolled up wearing a light-blue shirt, black trousers, and a smile. Miriam was sure he’d never looked better in his life. She sighed.

“I’m
gut
. Shelby will be here in a minute.”

Jesse smiled. “I bet it wonders you that I would be going out with an
Englisch
woman.”

Miriam wondered briefly if Jesse was trying to make her jealous, but when the screen door slammed and Jesse’s eyes darted to Shelby—it became obvious to Miriam where Jesse’s interest lay. His eyes twinkled as a full smile spread across his face.

With no time to respond, Miriam said, “Well, you two kids have fun,” then crossed her legs and plastered on a grin—just like her mother would. She wasn’t sure why she said it, and both Shelby and Jesse gave her strange looks.

Once they were gone, Miriam slithered back down in the chair again, knowing her mother would reprimand her for such pitiful posture. But she didn’t much care at the moment.

Little John strolled onto the porch holding a large piece of watermelon. He walked up to where she was sloped down in the chair.

“Want some?” Red juice dripped down his chin.

Miriam shook her head. “No.
Danki
, though.”

Her youngest brother sat down on the porch and dangled his legs off the side. Miriam smiled when she saw watermelon juice on the tops of his bare feet. She could remember being eight years old, when there wasn’t anything a piece of watermelon couldn’t cure on a hot day. Brushing back a strand of hair that had fallen in front of her face, she decided that she could either sit here and feel sorry for herself or do something productive. She’d already weeded the garden and picked the tomatoes, strawberries, rhubarb, and cabbage that were ready. Housecleaning was done, and her parents allowed her Saturday afternoon to do anything she wanted. She wanted to go fishing. With Saul.

Scowling, she pulled herself up and headed into the house. When she walked into the den, she heard sniffling. Her mother quickly faced the window to the backyard, but Miriam saw her dab her eyes. Guilt flooded over her when she thought about how self-absorbed she’d been. Uncle Ivan had died just two weeks ago. Katie Ann and the rest of her family from Colorado had left two days after the funeral.

“
Mamm
, can I get you anything or do anything for you?”

Her mother slowly turned around, sniffled once. “No.
Danki
, Miriam. I’m all right.” She walked to the couch, sat down, and picked up a book. Miriam sat down in the rocker across from her and kicked it into motion. She waited awhile, in case
Mamm
wanted to talk, but her mother kept her head buried in a book.

“
Mamm
. . . do you care if I take the spring buggy for a drive?”

“It’s not hitched up, and your
daed
, Ben, and Elam are at your
Aenti
Mary Ellen’s
haus
helping your
Onkel
Abe put up a new fence.”

Miriam thought briefly about going to see if her cousin Linda wanted to go running around, but she really didn’t feel like conversation. “I can hitch the buggy up.”

Mamm
looked up from the book. “I guess it would be all right.” Miriam stood up and shuffled across the wooden floor toward the front door.

“Miriam?”

“Ya?”

Mamm
crossed one leg over the other and folded her hands atop the book in her lap. “Tell me about this—this outing with Shelby and Jesse.”

“What do you want to know? They went fishing.”

Mamm’s
forehead creased as she narrowed her eyes at Miriam. “You know what I mean. You don’t think Jesse would be silly enough to date an
Englisch
girl, do you? I mean, Shelby will be leaving next month.”

Miriam was dreading that day. She would miss Shelby. She wasn’t sure that her cousin had completely opened up to her, but Shelby didn’t write in that journal every night anymore, and Miriam thought that might be a good thing. She was hoping her cousin would seek the Lord for guidance and help with all that ailed her. Although. . . when she darted away with Jesse Dienner, she’d seemed just fine.

Finally, she shrugged. “I don’t know,
Mamm
. I think they’re just friends.”

“Jesse will make a fine husband for a lucky
maedel
someday.” She smiled all-knowingly at Miriam.

“I guess.” She pulled the screen open.
But not for me
.

Saul regretted the way things ended the last time he saw Miriam, but he decided to leave well enough alone. Miriam was better off without him, and he didn’t know how long he’d have the strength to tell her that she couldn’t go with him when he left. He still couldn’t believe what she’d said. It was like a dream—the thought of him and Miriam sharing a life together. But it was a dream that was out of reach. Leaving here was his dream, not hers. He could never let her do that.

He tried to stay focused on the positive, first and foremost his father, who hadn’t had a drinking episode since he and Saul last talked. Soon Saul would need to tell him about his job offer. He needed to do it before
Daed
deeded over the property to him. But for the first time since he’d found out about his job, he felt a void in his life. Miriam never should have told him that she’d go with him. Now all he could do was think about the possibilities of a life with her.

He crawled into his buggy and headed toward the creek. He’d left Ruben and James an unfair amount of chores to do, but he’d make it up to them next weekend. Today he needed to be around friends, and he knew they would be gathered at Pequea Creek, like they always were on Saturday afternoons.

He’d barely turned onto Blackhorse Road when he saw Miriam drive by going the other direction. She waved but didn’t even look his way.
Don’t turn around. Keep going
. He gritted his teeth and managed to keep going for about a hundred yards before he grunted to himself and turned the buggy around. He picked up the pace until he was close to catching up with her. She eventually slowed to a stop, and he pulled up beside her.

“Are you following me?” She turned her head to face him, without even the hint of a smile on her face.

“
Ya
. I am. We need to talk, Miriam. Where are you off to?”

She raised her chin. “Nowhere. I’m just riding around. It’s a nice day.”

“Let’s take your buggy back to your house, then you can ride with me to the creek. We can talk on the way.” Saul waited a moment, then added, “Please.”

She shifted in her seat and faced him from her buggy. “I don’t know what we have to talk about, Saul. I misunderstood something, and now I feel. . . embarrassed.”

Saul wanted to get out and go to her, but he didn’t have anywhere to tie up his horse. “I don’t think you really misunderstood. It’s complicated, Miriam.”

“It doesn’t have to be,” she said in the sweetest voice Saul had ever heard.

“Then, please, let’s talk. I have some things I want to say to you.” He knew she couldn’t go with him. They’d barely started seeing each other. Then why did it seem like he’d been with Miriam his entire life? In some ways, he figured he had. His heart had belonged to her since they were young. In addition to his attraction to her, he also found that her goodness offset the trouble he often found himself in, and she made him want to be a better person. His thoughts conflicted, he wasn’t sure what he would say to her, but he couldn’t stand to have her mad at him or not understand how he felt about her.

“Okay,” she finally said.

She turned her horse around, and Saul followed her back to her house.

Rebecca hung little John’s bedsheets out to dry. Her youngest still wet the bed every now and then, despite her many attempts to curb his late-night liquids and make sure he went to the bathroom before bedtime. She jumped when Aaron wrapped his arms around her from behind and nuzzled her neck.

“Aaron, what are you doing?” She pinned up the corner of the white sheet, squinting from the sun’s glare. “I thought you were at Abe’s putting up a fence?”

“That’s what I have
sohns
for,” he teased as he kissed her on the neck.

“You smell of work, so you must have been busy doing something.” She clipped the last of the sheet on the line, then spun around to face her husband.

“We finished the fence, so the boys stayed to play volleyball, and I decided to come home and spend some alone time with
mei fraa
.” He pulled her close. “I know Shelby is gone. Is Miriam here?” Frowning, he glanced around.

“No. She took the spring buggy and went for a drive. It’s just us, Aaron.” She pushed him away. “But I have chores to do.”

Aaron grabbed her shoulders and drew her to him again. “I think we best seize this moment, Rebecca.” He looked up at the sky and squinted. “It’s the middle of the day, and no one is at home.” He smiled broadly.

“Shame on you, Aaron Raber. Such thoughts from a man your age in the middle of the afternoon.”

Her husband of twenty years leaned in and kissed her with the same passion as when they were teenagers, and taking a nap didn’t sound like such a bad idea. Next thing she knew, Aaron scooped her into his arms and started walking toward the house. “Why, Aaron. . .” She batted her eyes at him.

“Nap time,
mei leib
.”

“Don’t drop me going up these porch steps.”

Aaron didn’t get up the first step when they heard the
clippety-clop
of hooves on the driveway. “Goodness! Put me down before someone sees!”

“It’s Miriam.” Aaron set her on the ground.

“She just left. I wonder what she’s doing home so early.” Rebecca held her hand to her forehead and strained to see. “Someone’s behind her. I hope nothing’s wrong.” She moved across the yard until the second buggy came into view. “Oh no.” She sighed. “It’s Saul Fisher,” she whispered to Aaron.

“
Ach
, Rebecca. . .” Aaron shook his head.

“Don’t ‘
ach
, Rebecca’ me.” She stood tall. “This won’t be
gut
. I’m sure of it.” She folded her arms across her chest and waited. Miriam tied the horse to the stump by the fence, then she waited for Saul to follow her into the yard.

“
Mamm, Daed
, I’m going to go with Saul to the creek, if that’s all right.” Miriam’s eyes pleaded with hers, but Rebecca knew this was a terrible dilemma. She’d allowed her to go on a drive, and she could have just as easily met Saul at the creek, so how could she deny this request? Her mind worked doubly hard to think of a way.