Play Fair (The Devil's Share Book 3) (21 page)

I glanced over at Landry. She was finished eating and her eyes were darting around the table. “Hey, Buttercup? You want to take Dagger upstairs and put on a movie? You guys can both get in our bed.” She rolled her eyes, getting up and calling Dagger to her side. I turned to Bryan. “When did she start rolling her eyes?”

She huffed out an irritated laugh. “Everyone in this house rolls their eyes. She was bound to pick it up. And she knows when we want to talk about grown-up stuff without her. She is nine, not three.”

Why the hell was I getting Bryan’s attitude? Did I do something wrong? It wasn’t my fault the social worker had decided to drop that bomb on us today. I was just as freaked out as she was. We’d never fought before, not once. Which was probably because I never pushed her on anything. I didn’t try to make her talk about her feelings or the future. I just let it all ride, let it be fun. But the fun was over, Diane had made sure of that.

Lexi crossed her arms over her ever-growing chest, resting them on the top of her huge baby bump. “What the hell is going on with you two? This morning I heard you making out in the pantry and now you won’t even look at each other.”

I studied my plate, keeping my eyes down. “Diane told us that we need to be very certain about our future, about what we are doing together. The courts ‘don’t like temporary.’ She said that if Bryan and I break up it would be another abandonment for Landry.” It would probably be an even worse abandonment. From what Mark had told us, Landry’s mother was never much of a mother. She didn’t abuse Landry in the physical sense, but she certainly really never took care of her. Or worried about her health, or safety, or happiness. It was a point in our favor with the judge, but it made the fact that Bryan could leave all the more catastrophic. Which was a point against us.

Dylan cleared her throat. “Because Bryan has become a mother to her…and because Bryan could up and leave whenever she felt like it.”

Smith grabbed Dylan’s hand. “
Cher
, maybe now isn’t the time.”

She ignored him and looked across the table. “Didn’t I tell you that you needed to be careful? That you couldn’t take care of all this for him? Now, she thinks of you like a mom.”

Bryan took a deep steadying breath. “Dylan, please don’t start—”

But she kept on. “You feed her, you make sure she is safe, you run her days, you take care of her, and you’re in charge. But you aren’t permanent.”

“No.” I slammed my fist on the table, making everyone jump. “Landry thinks of Bryan like a mother because she loves her. Because she reads to her at night, because she cuddles with her on the couch, because they laugh and talk and play.” I moved my chair back, turning to Bryan. “Are you bored? Are you ready to run? Because it sure doesn’t seem that way when you fall asleep in my arms every night. We can make them see. We can prove that us together is what’s good for Landry.” I grabbed Bryan’s hand. I kissed her knuckles, then let go. “But you are going to have to stand up for us too. Can you do that? Can you tell them that you aren’t going anywhere?” I wanted to get down on my knees and beg her to never leave us. To stay with me, to be mine forever. But I’d already asked too much of her, she’d already sacrificed so much. She needed to decide what she wanted. Because Diane was right about one thing: if things ended between Bryan and me, it would crush me but it would wreck Landry. And I wouldn’t let that happen to my daughter, not again.

Bryan looked over at her sister, then at me, wiping a tear from her eye. “I think, for the time being, that I should go back to South Carolina.”

“What?” The air left my lungs.

Bryan closed her eyes, another tear escaping. “I won’t be the reason you lose Landry. I won’t be the reason she has to go back with her mom. We aren’t married, and I’m not sure I’ll ever want that.”

“You can’t be serious?” I was starting to shake; I couldn’t stop it.

She shrugged like it was no big deal, like she hadn’t just ripped my heart out. “I wish I knew.” She took a deep breath, straightening in her chair. “But I don’t. I’m flighty; I can’t ever be sure.” She reached for my hand, and I jerked away from her.

“If you want to run, be my guest.” I got up and walked away.

Chapter Twenty-six

Bryan

When Jacks left the table, I let the tears fall. I didn’t want to run, I didn’t want to leave them, ever. I didn’t want to lose Landry any more than I wanted her to lose me. I loved her, I loved Jacks, I loved this little family we had formed over the past weeks. But I couldn’t risk it. I had to make sure Landry ended up where she belonged, which was with her dad. If I had to hurt Jacks to keep from hurting Landry, then so be it. Because that’s what parents are supposed to do for their kids, put them first. Protect them at all cost.

“Baby Dil? You okay?”

I looked up at Lexi’s concerned voice. “I have no idea.”

Lexi’s face hardened. “You want me to kick that old lady’s ass?”

I wiped a tear from my eye before it had time to fall. “No. She was right. We can’t just keep playing house without thinking of the consequences. She was just doing her job, looking out for Landry’s best interests.”

“You love them.” Luke reached across the table and tapped my arm.

I sent him a watery smile. “More than anything.”

He shook his head. “You don’t want to run. It never even crossed your mind before today.”

My voice cracked. “No. But I can’t be the reason he loses her. I love Landry, more than I love myself. So her happiness comes first. No matter what.”

Lexi reached for my hand with tears in her eyes. “Now that’s a mother.”

I went upstairs and for the first time in a long time, I got in my bed. I felt lonely and sad and I cried myself to sleep.

***

The next day I was sitting at Landry’s swim lesson, searching for puppies on my phone. I wanted to do something special for Landry and Jacks. And the two of them wanted a puppy so damn bad, it was adorable. I’d told them both over and over that they needed to wait until they moved to Texas. But now? After last night? I wanted to do this for them. I thought about it a lot and decided that I would stay until the trial. I’d move back into the guest room and I’d sit Diane down and tell her that I had a return ticket home and that Jacks would hire a new nanny in Texas. Landry would be sad that I wasn’t moving with them, but she’d be safe. And I’d promise her that I would visit.

I’d spent the past hour looking at all the different local shelters’ websites. When I clicked on the last page, I’d about given up hope of finding what I was looking for. And then I saw him. He was a two-month-old Great Dane/American Bulldog mix, solid white with a black patch over his eye. He was perfect.

When Landry got out of the pool, I rushed her through getting dressed. We usually went and got something to eat after class; she was always starving. But I drove us straight to the shelter instead. It took three pages of paperwork and one cuddle session in front of a shelter worker, and then he was ours.

We were stopped at a gas station on the way home; the puppy had peed in Jacks’s Tesla. “Landry, be sure to hold him tight, there are lots of cars around here.” She had him in her arms in the front seat while I did my best to soak up urine from the backseat. Maybe Jacks was right after all—getting him potty-trained before they moved was smart.

“Okay, Momma.”

I went stock-still, my eyes searching the parking lot. Was she here? Had she spotted us? I stood up, checking every car window I could see into. And then I realized something, she didn’t call Amelia
Momma
, she called her
Mom
. I dipped my head down to look at Landry. She was cuddling the puppy and giggling while he licked her face. She didn’t have a care in the world. She hadn’t seen her mom; she’d called
me
Momma. My eyes filled with tears. I took a few seconds to get my emotions under control and then I threw away the rags I was using. “Okay, sweet girl, climb in the back and get your seat belt on.” I waited for her to buckle up and then I passed her the wiggly puppy.

I couldn’t leave her. What the hell was I thinking? Me going away wasn’t our only option here. They wanted permanent? We’d give it to them.

Chapter Twenty-seven

Jacks

Last night had been fucking brutal. Bryan had destroyed me. What I couldn’t figure out was why, because I knew she hadn’t had one foot out the door. Right? Maybe she just wasn’t willing to fight for us. I hadn’t talked to her today. I was avoiding her, which was easy because I was in the studio and she was with Landry at swim. See? I knew she had swim class today.

“Earth to Jacks.” Luke snapped his fingers in front of my face.

“Sorry, what?”

He cocked his head. “How you doing, man?”

I shook my head. “I feel like my heart was ripped out of my fucking chest and the sun will never shine again.”

Luke’s eyebrows rose. “I wish there was something we could say, or do, to make it better.”

“There isn’t.” I didn’t want to talk about it, it hurt too much. The thought of Bryan leaving was literally gut wrenching.

“What are you going to do?”

I looked over to Smith. “What can I do? She’d rather run than fight. And I can’t even blame her. Between Landry and her mom…my life is chaos right now. She has every reason to want to go.” I just thought we meant more to her than that.

“Fight for both of you.” My head shot up at the sound of Dylan’s voice. I hadn’t even heard the door open.

“What?”

“You heard me, Jacks. Fight. Fight enough for the both of you.”

I stood. “Are you kidding me right now? You’ve been all but daring her to leave for the past month, and now that she actually is, you want to be supportive?”

“I realized something last night.” She closed her eyes, steeling herself. “I was wrong.”

She opened her eyes and I held her gaze. “She lied. Last night, she lied about why she was leaving. Didn’t she?”

“Go ask her yourself. Go fight.” She gestured to the floor above us.

I turned toward the stairs. I’d show these people a fucking fight. I wasn’t going to let her leave us, and she had another think coming if she thought I’d let her sacrifice herself for us. I entered the main floor to the sound of Landry laughing. It was her super happy laugh; it sounded like little bells. I followed the sound into the backyard where Landry, Bryan, and Dagger were running around with the cutest white puppy I’d ever seen. “B?”

Bryan looked up when I walked out onto the back porch, her smile wary. “Hey.”

I stared across the yard. “Whose puppy?”

“Landry’s.” She reached down and gave him a good tummy scratch when he rolled over at her feet. “I saw him on a shelter website and I couldn’t resist.”

I nodded. “A going-away present?”

“Something like that.”

Her answer cut deep. If we were going to have this out, it was going to happen right fucking now. “Hey, Buttercup? Uncle Luke is making lunch. Why don’t you go eat and then you can come back out and play.”

She looked from me to Bryan. “Are you mad about the puppy?”

I chuckled. “Of course not! He’s the cutest puppy I have ever seen. We need to pick a name later.” I waited for her to head into the house before turning back to Bryan. “I need you to be honest with me.” She nodded. “Do you want to leave? Are you bored with me? Not cut out for this life?” She shook her head. “Then what the fuck happened last night?”

“I love Landry more than I love myself. I love you more than I love myself.” Her voice trembled. “And me leaving would guarantee that the two people I love most in this world would always be together.”

I wanted to sink down to my knees and worship this woman. She was strong. She was stronger than anyone I’d ever met. Including me. Where I was ready to fight tooth and nail to keep them both, she was selfless enough to not make me. “My God, I love you.”

She bent down and picked up the tiny puppy, snuggling him to her chest. “She called me Momma today.”

“Landry did?”

She nodded. “Yeah. We were in the car and she said, ‘okay, Momma,’ like it was the most natural thing in the world. At first I thought she’d seen her mom, or it was just an accident. But…”

“She doesn’t call Amelia
Momma
.”

“No. She doesn’t.” A tear rolled down her cheek. Before I could move to wipe it, she held her hand up, stopping me. “I’m not leaving.”

“What?” I swallowed past the lump in my throat, afraid to believe what I thought I heard.

“I realized something today. Landry’s not just yours, she’s mine too. I’ve known her just as long as you have. She might not have my DNA, but she has my heart. And I’m not going to let them take her from us.”

“Say it again.”

“I’m. Not. Leav—”

I fused my mouth to hers. Nothing about this kiss was sweet or playful. It was hot and passionate and so full of relief and possession. I was showing her that she was mine. She knew why I’d stomped out here a few minutes ago. She knew I was prepared for the battle of my life. I pulled back, grinning. “So the puppy is a going-away present for
all
of us?”

She shrugged. “You were right. I want this baby boy potty-trained before the move.” She wrapped her arms around my waist and turned her face toward mine. “I don’t want him ruining my hand-scraped hardwood floors.”

The smile that took over my face was so big it was almost painful, “
Your
hand-scraped hardwood floors?” She nodded and I kissed her again. I wanted to keep kissing her, I wanted to throw her over my shoulder and carry her upstairs. She just adopted us the world’s most adorable puppy and told me she that not only was she not going anywhere but that she was moving to Texas with us. The infectious sound of Landry’s giggles was the only thing that could pull me away. She must have come outside at some point during all the kissing. I walked across the yard and kneeled down next to her. The puppy was on his back and she was rubbing his tummy. “Well, what do you want to name him?”

She looked at me, scooping him up in her arms. “I get to name him?”

I reached out and scratched behind his ear. “Of course. He’s yours.”