Play Hard (Make the Play #2) (11 page)

When things ended with Dusty, I swore to myself that I would never let a guy hurt me again. That’s why I’ve been attempting to keep Cal at arm’s length. It’s not that I think he will hurt me. It’s that I’m not sure he won’t. There’s no guarantee. Even with the best of intentions he can still end up hurting me. So I’ve been trying to guard my heart and emotions around him. But it’s been so hard. He always knows just the right thing to say and do to endear me to him.

Despite my best efforts, I haven’t been able to stay away from him.

What happened this afternoon was terrifying. I worried that I was getting myself into the same situation that almost killed me. The same situation I worked so hard to get out of. I thought maybe Cal was clouding my decision making.

But now that he’s here, all my fears vanish. His words prove to me that he’s different. That he’s nothing like Dusty.

Still, I wish I was strong enough to walk away from him.

Since I can’t, I know it’s only going to hurt worse when he walks away from me.

And he will when he finds out the truth.

But I don’t want to think about that tonight. Being with Cal is like reading a book or taking a vacation. He allows me to escape the reality of my life even if it’s just for a little while. Even if I know it can’t last forever.

“Hey.” He loops his arms around my waist and pulls me close. “You wanna go with me to a field party tomorrow night?”

I frown. “My aunt and uncle would never go for that.” The old Taylor would sneak out, but I don’t want to be that girl anymore. My aunt and uncle are starting to trust me, and I want to keep it that way.

“That’s okay. We can do something else.” He leans forward, pressing his lips to my forehead. My heart melts at the gesture. “Maybe I can take you out to dinner? Would your aunt and uncle allow that? We can even make it a double date with Chris and Em if that makes them more comfortable.”

“No, you don’t have to change your plans. If you want to go to the party, you should go.”

“I want to be with you, Taylor. I don’t care where it is, as long as you’re there.”

Dusty never made allowances for me. If he wanted to go to a party and I couldn’t go, he went without me. It was never about spending time with me. It was about doing what he wanted to do when he wanted to do it. I’ve only known Cal a short time, and already he seems to care about me more than Dusty ever did. It’s baffling. Also, it confirms my decision to let him off the hook so easily tonight. I may have freaked out, but clearly he wasn’t trying to control me when he suggested a friendship with Emmy.

Reaching up, I gently touch his chin, my fingertips trailing the light stubble dusting it. “I feel the same way.”

Clutching me tighter, he angles his face downward. I slide my hand around his face, curving my palm over his cheek. He doesn’t have on a baseball cap tonight, so the edges of my fingers feather over his hair. His hands slip up my back as his lips lightly fan over mine. I kiss him back greedily, hungrily, my tongue thrusting out of my mouth and melding with his. I plan to enjoy every second with Cal until I’m forced to let him go. I know I’m running out of time, and that causes desperation to rise inside of me. Keeping one hand on his face, I run my other palm over his chest, feeling his hard muscles through his shirt. He’s more muscular than Dusty ever was. Stronger physically. However, I know if he and Dusty ever got in a fight, Dusty would win. Not because Dusty is stronger, but because Dusty fights dirty. Not that I have to worry about that. Dusty doesn’t want me anymore. He wants what I have of his, and that has nothing to do with Cal. In fact, when Cal finds out about it, I’m sure he’ll be long gone. At the thought, a chill runs up my spine. Cal draws me even closer.

“For a city girl, you sure can’t handle the cold at all,” he murmurs against my lips.

I smile. “Maybe I just like giving you an excuse to hold me.”

“Maybe I don’t need an excuse,” he says, before covering my mouth with his once again.

****

I was shocked when my aunt and uncle gave me permission to go out with Cal. Honestly, I think it was partly the double date thing that did it. Going out with a group seemed safer to them. Not that I got off scot-free. In order to get them to say yes, I promised to attend church tomorrow morning. Since moving here, I’d yet to attend a service. Uncle Alex and Aunt Molly invited me every week. In fact, they more than invited me. They had practically begged me to come, but I always declined.

This time I told them I’d come. I said it before I asked about going out tonight. I figured a little buttering up might work. I was right.

However, as I search for something to wear, I regret my decision to go out. Since moving here, my jeans have started to fit more and more snugly. Now I can’t even button the damn things. Besides, springtime seems to be in full bloom. It’s not nearly as chilly as it was when I first got here. Not even in the evenings. Therefore, jeans probably aren’t a good choice.

Cal said we were going out to dinner, so I want to look nice for him. Ripped jeans and a t-shirt isn’t exactly nice. I peruse through my drawers until I find what I’m looking for. Smiling, I take out my little black skirt. Mom had purchased it for me last year when we had to attend the funeral of a family friend. After putting it on, I find one of my only shirts that isn’t a t-shirt. It’s a long sleeved gray shirt. So it’s still not a fancy outfit, but it’s a little better. At least it’s not too tight. In the back of the closet, I find a pair of black sandals. I remember Mom prompting me to pack them even though I didn’t want to. Now I’m glad she insisted.

After getting dressed, I brush my long dark hair. Usually I wear it in a messy bun or ponytail at the nape of my neck. But tonight I straighten it until it falls sleekly down my back. My motto with makeup has always been “the darker the better.” Mom hates it, although I’d argue that Dad hates it even more. Of course, he’s been completely freaked out by me since I grew boobs. If he had his way, I would’ve been locked in a tower like Rapunzel years ago. There have been moments that I wish he would have done just that.

For several years Mom has been recommending that I tone down my makeup, maybe try some neutral colors. She even bought me a softer eye palette, but I’ve never used it.

However, tonight I pull it out. I open it, taking in the creamy peach and copper colors. Sweeping my eyeshadow brush over one of the lighter colors, I try it out on my lid. As soon as I take in my reflection, I reach for a tissue. It doesn’t look like me, and Cal fell for me. I don’t want to completely change myself. It’s one thing to wear a skirt to go out to dinner. Even wearing my hair down isn’t too big of a stretch. I’ve worn it down before. But wearing the same kind of makeup as every other girl in this town is entirely different.

Cal likes that I’m unique. He’s told me that.

Then again, I’m not sure the dark makeup started because it was something I liked. I think it may have been something Dusty liked. Or maybe it was what I thought I was supposed to wear because all of his ex-girlfriends wore their makeup like this. I don’t even know anymore.

Staring at myself in the mirror, it hits me that I don’t know who I am. I don’t know what I would dress like, or wear my hair and makeup like if I was only trying to please myself. For much of my life I’ve been trying to please someone else. I’ve been choosing my look based on another person. I don’t want to do that anymore, but I honestly don’t know how I want to look for me.

Perplexed, I bite my lip, deep in thought.

In the end, I wear my favorite purple lipstick and shimmering shadow. I still line my eyes in black liner, but I don’t wing them. I’m finishing up when I hear a knock at the door. My heart stops as my uncle’s shoes click on the hardwood floors. Muffled voices reach my ears after he answers.

It’s weird having Cal pick me up for a date. Dusty and I went out for over a year, but I can’t think of one time that he picked me up to take me out. It’s one of the reasons my parents didn’t like him. We always met up at mutual friends’ houses or parties. Sometimes we went out for a bite to eat, but it was never a formal date, and he didn’t always pay for me.

So in some ways tonight feels like my first date. Kind of sad that after having numerous boyfriends I’ve never been on an actual date.

Taking a deep breath, I open my bedroom door and head downstairs. When I reach the bottom, Cal’s head lifts. He was in midsentence, but the words trail off. His mouth stays open though as he takes me in.

“Wow. You look amazing.” Stepping away from my uncle, Cal sweeps me up into his arms. My feet briefly lift from the floor. “You always look gorgeous, but tonight you’re stunning.”

My cheeks warm. From over Cal’s shoulder, Uncle Alex wears a look of concern. But behind him I catch Aunt Molly beaming. I smile back at her, grateful that one of them is happy for me.

“I’ll have her home by curfew,” Cal says to Uncle Alex. “Not a minute later.”

“Thank you,” Uncle Alex responds, tipping his head. “And I look forward to seeing you in church tomorrow too.”

After saying goodbye to my aunt and uncle, Cal and I step outside. I glance over at Cal, one eyebrow raised. “What was that about?”

“Oh, nothing. Your uncle was just making me aware of your curfew.”

“No, the last thing about you going to church tomorrow. Do you go every week?” I had no idea Cal went to church. It makes me kind of wish I’d attended sooner.

“Not always. My parents go most weeks, and I join them when I can.” He smiles. “I heard you were going tomorrow, so I’ll for sure be there now.”

I grin. Church doesn’t sound so bad now.

“Ready?” I shout from the mound. It’s dark outside, moonlight shining down on us.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Taylor responds in a dubious tone.

“I won’t throw the ball very hard. I promise.” I wink to her before gently lobbing the ball in her direction.

She swings the bat in an awkward way, but oddly enough she makes contact with the ball. After hitting it, she drops the bat and runs toward first. The ball doesn’t go far. In fact, it doesn’t even reach the mound. Taking a few steps forward, I pluck it out of the grass. Chris is standing at first, his hand open. I know I can throw it to him and he’ll catch it no problem, but I give Taylor time to reach the base.

Chris can see what I’m doing, but he smiles, giving me a subtle nod.

“I made it!” Taylor squeals from first, and her excited scream makes it all worth it.

The funny thing is that this game was the girls’ idea. And it was also their idea to team up against us. I would have laughed at them, but they seemed so serious. Besides, I like that they’re getting along so well. Tonight was perfect. I’m glad now that it didn’t work out to go to the party. Going on a double date with Em and Chris is exactly what we needed. Over dinner, Em and Taylor were able to put yesterday behind them, and ended up having a great conversation. That also gave Chris and me a chance to catch up.

Well, as much as two guys catch up. I’m sort of embarrassed to say we mostly talked sports.

“All right. My turn,” Em hollers, bat in hand. She’s swinging it around like she’s seen the guys on the team do.

I chuckle. “Okay, calm down, Babe Ruth.”

She sticks out her tongue at me, and then gets in position. I lob the ball to her. She swings and misses. A stream of laughter pours from my lips.

“Shut up.” She scoops up the ball and throws it back to me. It falls in the grass a few feet from the mound.

“Nice throw,” I tease her.

“It’s okay, baby.” Chris claps from outfield. “You got this.”

“Whose team are you on?” I turn around and scowl at him.

“Sorry,” Chris mutters under his breath.

My gaze rests on Taylor. She lifts her brows at me, her lips curling at the edges. Grinning, I return my attention to Emmy.

“Ready?” I ask.

“As I’ll ever be,” she responds firmly.

“If you say so,” I mumble, then throw the ball to her.

This time she actually hits it. Of course it careens toward Chris, and I know he won’t get her out. I spin around and watch the scene unfold. To my surprise, Chris lunges for the ball. He doesn’t catch it, but he does snatch it up off the ground. Then he races in Em’s direction. It’s then that I realize what’s happening. After tagging her with the ball, he tackles her to the ground. She screams as they roll onto the grass together.

“This isn’t football,” I remind them, but they don’t even hear me. Glancing over at Taylor, who is now standing on second base, I flash her an apologetic look. “Looks like the game might be over.”

“That’s fine.” She shrugs, stepping off of second and ambling over to me. “When I suggested it, I mostly just wanted to spend more time with you.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah.” Smiling, she touches my arm. “I like seeing you in action.”

I grab her by the hands. “I can show you even more action if you want.”

Falling against me, she giggles. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

The laughter falls from my lips, and I grow serious. “Only if you do. I’ll never push you to do anything you’re not comfortable with.” It’s a truth I need to keep reminding her of. I never want her to forget it.

“Ever kiss a girl on the mound?” She asks, changing the subject. Not that I’m complaining. I like the direction this is headed.

“No, I haven’t.”

With a sly gleam in her eyes she’s nears me. Her head tilts, her lips sliding over mine. I crush my mouth to hers, pressing her body to mine. When we part, she stares into my eyes. “Well, you have now.”

The baseball field isn’t a place I usually bring girls. Sure, they come to my games. And there has been the occasional girl I’ve made out with under the bleachers. But never right here. I think because this is my sacred place. It belongs to me and my teammates. But it feels right having Taylor here with me.

It feels right that she was my first kiss on the mound.