Play It Again, Charlie (56 page)

“I thought I was a bitch.” Charlie cleared his throat. He tried to imagine telling his sisters about Will in those same terms and then tried to imagine getting a word in first. And then of course once he did, they'd pounce on Will like Sam after a sock toy filled with catnip— probably ripping him to shreds in the same way too. Or making him flee in the opposite direction.

“Only when you're in pain,” Will was answering, but Charlie wasn't really upset about the bitch comment, and Will was the one who had something on his mind, so he shook his head.

“You two seem close.”

“Oh, that slut.” Will looked pleased just the same. “But, um, she's all right, I suppose.” He grinned, but Charlie straightened up, pulling on Will's hand just enough to get Will to lean toward him.

“I'm glad she was there for you. She obviously loves you too.”

Will ducked his head. Without warning he moved, putting his hands across the tub to the other side and holding himself up for one shaky moment to put his face to Charlie's throat.

“You're in a better mood,” he commented, and he let out a long, deep breath. Charlie closed his eyes.

“According to my family, I'm difficult.” That was an understatement, though how anyone was supposed to react to a thousand demands for him to get better he had no idea. Will gave a short laugh.

“Considering everything, sometimes I don't think you're difficult enough,” he mumbled, then he pushed himself back up. He shrugged and dipped his fingers in the water. “If I were you I'd be angry about things all the time. But what do I know?”

“Will?” Charlie's concern got him splashed again, across his chest this time.

“Stop being adorable, Charlie,” Will said to mystify him. “I just can't deal with it this early.” He batted his eyelashes.

“Will... .” Charlie refused to be distracted, not if Will
was
bothered about something.

“You just don't want to talk about you.” Will gave in, or seemed to, with another sigh. “I think your sisters want to be around you. Can you blame them? You're so... .” With a twirl of his hand that could have meant anything, Will went on. “Thought so first time I saw you. Naturally, you weren't being a big bitch then.”

“I know I was rude about the flowerpot. My hip was— ” Charlie stopped short at the pat on his shoulder.

“I'm not talking about
that
, Charlie.” Will's tone said Charlie was being ridiculous. “I said the first time I
saw
you. Not
talked
to you, though you were impressively grouchy on that occasion.” His eyes were bright. “When I first laid eyes on you, you were having some kind of playdate with this little girl with seriously messy hair and her dolls. I thought she was yours at first, some sort of custody thing or something, but then she kept calling you Uncle Charlie... and something else.”

“Tio Lito,” Charlie filled in absently. He hadn't watched Alicia in weeks, and the last time had been before he'd ever laid eyes on Will. They'd ended up playing dolls in the courtyard while waiting for her mother.

“You braided her hair, and she asked why you were so sad and didn't have a boyfriend, and I just about gasped in shock, but you only frowned and looked even sadder, and then suddenly"— Will's tone stayed soft but his volume went up—"you
smiled
at her, teasing that poor child with your smile, and then you and a Ken doll had your... .” Will was far too pleased. “Stolen moment.”

Charlie opened his mouth, then shut it, then tried again as he remembered distracting Alicia by pretending the doll had been his boyfriend and kissing it. “You saw that?”

“Oh yes.” This time Will's flirtatious glances looked genuine. Charlie's cheeks were flaming. “And just like that,” Will said, gracefully indicating Charlie's face, “I could tell that as embarrassed as you were, you were doing it anyway to make that kid happy. I could see that from across the courtyard.
Adorable
. The ferocious snapping at me later was a bonus.”

“Fero— ” Charlie might have pulled off his glare if he'd felt anything close to fierce. “I don't normally act like that,” he said finally.

“Yell at strangers or kiss Ken dolls?”

“Either,” Charlie snapped, a
little
ferocious now that his embarrassment was getting worse. “Alicia was worried about her mother's love life too... . It was complicated.” He scrubbed at his face, shivering slightly at the cooling water.

“I didn't mind, Charlie.” Will's laughter was gone. He got up and grabbed a towel, then came back, busying himself with refolding it. “That's not what I'm saying at all. You get that, right?”

“What— ” Charlie's throat locked. He shivered again, and Will took that as a sign he was ready to come out, because he leaned over to drain the tub.

Will scowled, more at the disappearing water than at Charlie. Then he gasped.

“Oh God, I'm sorry. Were you done?”

“It's fine,” Charlie assured him, then he shook his head at those wide eyes and reached out to pull Will back his way. The towel fell over him, getting soaked. Will was instantly all dismayed apologies and quick hands.

“You need help and look at me!” The corners of Will's soft mouth were turned down. Charlie frowned and didn't let go. One of Will's hands splashed in the remaining water at the bottom of the tub, the other flew to Charlie's shoulder and clutched it. Charlie grunted since Will wasn't exactly light.

With the water gone, Charlie's skin was prickling, but he slid his hands up Will's arms to his neck and then on to his hair. He could do distractions too.

“I can't spend all day in here. You said I had to rest. For later,” he explained in a low, hushed whisper that made Will go still. After a pause, Will nodded.

“Right,” Will agreed, peering at him. “So... you'll need help getting up. I can do that. It's what people do, after all.” Will's glance at him was uncertain. “Right? And I want to, if you don't mind.”

He was almost asking. Charlie stared. He wasn't going to risk another argument by asking what was wrong or insisting he could get up on his own now, so he nodded and was rewarded with a relieved smile and Will bending down to help him up.

“Just tell me what you need, okay, Charlie?” Will murmured into his ear before getting his arms around him. “I just... tell me what you want.”

“Okay,” Charlie agreed, to calm those fluttering hands, only to feel a flutter of his own at Will's pleased sigh. But he bit back a swear word or two as he got awkwardly to his feet and tried not to shiver when Will insisted on toweling him dry.

He managed to keep most of his weight off Will when Will insisted on supporting him, but he reached out when Will stepped away after getting him on the bed. Tension locked his throat before he could speak. It was only for a moment, and then Will was back in front of him, climbing around him as he urged Charlie to lie down.

“Coffee and some feel-good medicine and maybe a nooner. I'm on it,” Will recited and hopped off the bed.

“Really, I'll be fine. You don't need to bother.” It burst from Charlie the moment Will reached the doorway. It was a little too urgent, but it made Will stop and turn to look at him. There was a line between his eyes.

“Charlie, I'm not bothered. Who do you think I— ?” Will tightened his mouth, then shook his head. “Let me get the coffee.” He slipped into the living room and didn't seem to notice that Charlie sat up to see if he'd come back.

“Nana— ” Charlie switched the phone to his other ear before giving up and putting it on speaker as he tried to close the door and put down his bags at the same time. He dropped everything on the counter and stopped to catch his breath and cool down. As though she knew that, she immediately scolded him for doing too much.

“You are supposed to be taking it easy, resting. Eso es la razon que yo... .” She trailed off, echoing on the speakerphone, and then she yelled for someone else to go, probably Angel if he was in the kitchen with her and she didn't want him to hear. Charlie was grateful, since he suspected whatever she was about to say would be embarrassing. “That's why I've always wanted you to find someone good,
alguien decente
, even a man if he is good to you.”

“Nana... .” It was no use trying to interrupt her; it was her favorite subject. Charlie knew he was getting older, and that she was worried about him, but if Charlie liked someone that much, he wasn't going to drive them away by expecting them to help him with his family, or anything else. She was never going to understand that. It made him wish, and not for the first time, that he'd had more of a chance to know his grandfather before he'd died, or at least seen the two of them together more.

“It's more than for your sisters. For them to be happy, they have to know that you are— ”

“Happy?” He sighed. It wasn't as though he'd never heard this speech before, though he knew she meant well. “I
am
happy. Don't worry.”

“Do not worry?” She made a noise, which made him open his eyes. “Happy?”

“Happy.” He paused, but he said it. He kept his voice calm but firm because he truly didn't want her to worry about him. “I feel better"— most of the time—"I have a job I enjoy. I have friends.” He waved a hand. “Sam.”

“The cat?” She didn't seem convinced. Charlie tried to make himself sound happier, and couldn't help glancing at the door and remembering Will against it.

Will had spent nearly every night here for a week, his feet or his head in Charlie's lap as they watched TV, after coming back from getting dinner. One night Will had even asked Charlie to read aloud to him from his newest book, which had lasted until about page three when Will had apparently decided that the book was taking up too much of Charlie's attention and had crawled up to demand a kiss.

He really was a brat. Charlie couldn't make himself mind. He
wanted
to give Will anything he wanted and glanced down at the bag of DVDs. He flushed again.

“I'm happy, Nana.”

He knew it couldn't last. It couldn't. But for that moment he meant it. His grandmother's breath caught. It seemed like too much on the speakerphone, more real now that he'd said it out loud. He put the phone back to his ear and busied himself with unpacking his groceries.

Some frozen food. Bread. Some more beer. Fruit, cookies, his milk. That disgusting-looking probiotic stuff that Will liked. More coffee, because he'd run out sooner than expected, almost as though he'd shopped for two, which he hadn't had to do in far too long. He supposed he sort of had, or at least had Will in mind.

Stupid. He should have learned his lesson by now not to get ahead of himself.

He and Will had only been seeing each other for a few weeks. He had had relationships in college that had lasted longer. Of course, those had been mostly about sex and stress relief between classes and had always broken up before any holiday breaks or exams, and definitely by the second or third time he'd been called away by his family to deal with a problem and returned to find the other man had moved on.

He and Will weren't much more than that, even if they did talk, even if he wanted more. It didn't matter what he wanted. Charlie had learned that early.

He didn't expect this to be different. But he imagined what she was suggesting anyway, that Will might want to stick around, not just to be with Charlie, but to be part of his family too, if he could accept that someone he called Daddy had other sides to him.

Just meeting his sisters ought to send him running. After Mark, they wouldn't be inclined to be friendly. And Will was so young and inexperienced, at least in what a relationship meant. It was all over the way he kept finding new titles for Charlie.
Sergeant Howard.
Daddy. Spankdaddy. Honey bear. Charlie, my Charlie.
Everything but the most obvious one. Asking him to help Charlie was asking too much.

“Carlito?” Nana hadn't called him that in years, and it brought Charlie back to their conversation. He swallowed.

“Is this about Daniel? Because I think Missy is worrying for nothing and he won't lose his job, even with layoffs. But if he does, we'll take care of them. Of course we will.” He put the frozen food away, then the beer and the milk. He stopped at the juice, and thought for a moment about what to do for dinner.

“I know I haven't been out there and gone over everything lately, but there should be more than enough to help out. Missy knows we're here for her. I told her yesterday.”

“Carlos,” his abuela interrupted, raising her voice, and Charlie stopped automatically. She waited, then said it again, softer this time. “Carlos.”

“Nana.” He exhaled. “I can take care of them by myself, you know that.”

“But I don't want you to have to,
mijo
.”

Charlie shuddered. It was unfair of her to say it, just the way his mother had used to say it. “You expect too much.”

“You do not expect enough.” She was calm, but Charlie jerked anyway. It was close to what Will had said. Too close, and for a frightening moment he imagined them meeting, getting along. It made him feel warm and empty at the same time.

“Anyway.” He had to clear his throat a few times. The trip to the store had taken longer than he'd expected, since he'd had to stop in at the video store. He grabbed the cookies. “Anyway, Nana, I know I haven't been out there. I can... I can visit this weekend, if you want.”

It would mean giving up time with Will, but Will would probably want to go out this weekend, anyway. He'd gone out on a few weeknights, though he'd always seemed to return before Charlie had gone to bed, but this would give him a chance to really have fun, party, whatever he wanted to do.

“You have been busy.” He thought Nana was agreeing with him and nodded as he ate two cookies at once. He only realized it was a question when she went on, far too slowly. “Busy with the someone that you have been telling your sisters does not exist?”

He choked a little and had to get some water. She let him, and then when he could speak again and managed a, “Nana,” she went on.

“Este chico es bienvenido aqui,” she murmured gently. “You know that.”