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Authors: Kyra Lennon

Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Women's Fiction, #Contemporary Women, #Romance, #Contemporary, #New Adult & College, #Sports, #Contemporary Fiction

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“How’d work go today, babe?” Bree shuffled her chair towards mine so we could hear each other better.

“Better, but not good.”

“Jude said you met Ethan.”

Her gaze held mine, sympathy heavy in her green eyes. Maybe that was part of the problem. I knew I was still fragile but with everyone continuing to treat me like I might fall apart at any second it was harder to move on. My friends’ pity was a constant reminder, and although well-meaning and appreciated – I knew I was lucky to have such amazing people in my life – it wasn’t helping me to push through.

“Yeah, I did. He seems like a good guy.”

Bree nodded slowly, still with that same expression on her face. “Must have been weird though.”

“A little, but it’s done now and I’m sure he’ll be great to work with. You know, if I can stop being a total wimp every time I get to the training ground.”

“It’s to be expected. Just… promise me you’ll keep talking to us if you need to, okay?”

I smiled. Bree had grown up a whole lot recently. She’d never been immature exactly, but her bouncy, bubbly nature gave people a certain impression: that she was an airhead. She and Jude had been through a rough patch in their marriage right before Will died, and although nobody had completely filled me in on what happened, she’d definitely changed because of it. I’d learned a lot about Bree’s past every time it was her turn to check on me. That girl knew a thing or two about grieving herself, and she’d helped me in ways I’d never be able to thank her for.

“Enough about me,” I said, straightening up. “What’s new with you guys?”

My friends exchanged glances, as if they weren’t sure whether to tell, and I sighed. “Guys, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, and how patient you’ve been. We all know I’m not really okay and I won’t be for a while but I need you to help me. Even though you’ve been here for me, I’ve missed you. I’ve missed out on bits of your lives and I want to catch up a little. You can still talk to me, you know?”

Bree’s lips curved into a grin and her eyes sparkled proudly. “I’ll go first,” she said, bouncing up and down in her seat, making us laugh.

“Shoot.”

“Okay, so, I’ve been working hard, studying make-up artistry, and it’s so, so cool, you guys! I mean, I thought I knew a lot about make-up but…”

Ah-ha. There was the Bree I knew and loved. She’d grown up, but when she was excited, she was still… Bree. We listened to her happy chatter, and while she spoke, Jude came back with my drink. He beamed with pride listening to his wife, proving they were well and truly back on track.

“Will you do my make-up sometime?” I asked her.

“Hell yeah!”

“Mine too?” Bryce asked, making us laugh again.

She reached over and playfully touched his cheek. “You got it, beautiful.”

“How about you, Jesse?” I asked, turning to him. He’d been a little out of the loop too since he was out of action for the season. The good news was, his knee was healing well and wouldn’t cause any long term issues, but he’d really missed playing and training. Soccer came as naturally to him as breathing, and being without it had been a struggle for him. Unlike me, he
happily
sat at the training ground, watching everyone as they worked. Being at the edge of everything, not in the centre with his buddies wasn’t the same, but it was better than not being there at all.

“I have good news.” Jesse grinned.

“Ooh, do tell!” Bree bounced in her chair again.

“Isabelle’s coming to stay with me in three weeks.”

Bree leapt out of her seat and threw her arms around him. “That’s so awesome, Jesse! Can we meet her?”

“Of course.” He laughed. “But remember what I said. She’s shy, so you’ll need to be less… you.”

He winked at her and she rolled her eyes. “I get it.”

Jesse met Isabelle in London the year before, and in spite of people’s opinions about long distance relationships they’d managed to make it work. I had to admit, I was excited to meet her too. She sounded like a far cry from his last girlfriend, Taylor the psycho.

A small shudder rippled through me as it so often did when that night popped into my mind unexpectedly. The storm that killed Will had killed Taylor too. I couldn’t feel any sorrow for her, though. The girl was poisonous with no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

Unlike Will.

“Dance with me?”

Bryce’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts, and as everyone else chatted about Isabelle’s visit, I nodded. Bryce’s habit of being in tune with everyone’s feelings had been my saviour on more than one occasion. Part of moving forward, I was sure, meant not needing to have someone to lean on every time I felt sad. Or at least not accepting
every
time. But dammit, it had been a couple of days of pushing myself. I
had
gone to work. I
had
forced myself to stay. To some people my steps were small, but at least I’d taken some. Quite a lot in two days.

“You okay?” Bryce rested a gentle hand on my hip to indicate to the guy dancing beside me who was staring at my legs that I was not available. The glare he got in return made us both laugh, and the guy turned his attention to someone else.

“Kind of. I can’t decide whether I want people to stop asking if I’m okay, or if I need it so I can ask myself the same question, just to check.”

“I hear ya.” Bryce pulled me in a touch closer so we could hear each other above the music. I kind of wanted to laugh. This was not the kind of conversation usually held on a dance floor. “It’s not exactly the same but when I first split with Sarah people kept asking me the same question too, with that look.”

Without realising what I was doing until it was too late, I tilted my head a little. “How
are
you doing?”

Bryce laughed. “I’m okay. It’s definitely weird being on my own and I miss my girls like crazy, but when I start to feel bad, I remember what it was like when we still lived together. Sarah and I weren’t living
together
anymore; we were two people sharing a house. It’s one thing to sit alone with nobody to talk to, but when you’re with the person you committed your whole life to and there’s silence… it’s a lot worse. We get along better now.”

“Do you think you’ll work things out?”

He shook his head. “I don’t love her the way I should. The way I used to. She doesn’t love me that way either. I think…” he trailed off and lowered his head. “I think she’s moved on already. Peyton mentioned something about some guy coming around and taking mommy out to dinner. It doesn’t matter; it’s definitely over but I’d have preferred to hear she’s dating from her, not from the kids. And I don’t like how she’s introduced them to someone new so quickly, but this is how things are now.”

The flicker of hurt in Bryce’s eyes made me step closer and give him a hug. Accepting something’s over doesn’t mean it won’t hurt anymore, and compared to the length of time they’d been married, the time they’d been apart was so short.

A blurry but familiar figure rushed by us, roughly shoving us aside. I don’t think he even noticed who we were as he hurried to the bar, and Bryce and I followed him with our eyes, our mouths dropping open.

“Was that Radleigh?”

Bryce nodded. “He said he wasn’t coming out tonight. Said he wanted to spend the evening with Leah.”

I raised my head to look up at him. “Has Radleigh said anything to you about him and Leah?”

His shoulders sagged a little. “Those two. I thought once they got together things would be better between them.”

“It
is
better.” God, it was so much better. When they first met it was almost dangerous to be in the same room with them. They fired each other up, and not always in the good way. But those times had passed, or so I’d thought.

“It’s a different kind of arguing now.” Bryce sighed. “I don’t know too much, but I do know that Leah’s been clingy. She doesn’t trust Radleigh and I’m afraid she’s gonna push him away by trying to keep him close. Like now, for example.”

He nodded towards the bar where Radleigh downed a bottle of beer, almost in one, then ordered another right away. His posture was rigid and tension oozed from him in waves.

Why didn’t I know about this? If I hadn’t overheard the argument the night before I’d never have had a hint that anything was wrong.

Of course, I knew why. It was just as I thought. Leah, and everyone, didn’t want to put anything else on me.

A woman dressed in hot pants and a neon pink halter neck top approached Radleigh; she couldn’t have been more than twenty-one, possibly younger. Some clubs were so lax with their standards. With absolutely no hesitation whatsoever, Nightclub Barbie took the beer bottle from his hands, wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned in to whisper something in his ear.

My eyes widened, as did Radleigh’s, at this girl’s shameless come-on. He pushed her away, shooting her an intimidating glare. She shrugged but wasn’t stupid enough to have another try with him.

In spite of Bryce’s concerns, I knew better. I knew Radleigh when he’d been in a serious relationship before Leah. He’d pretended not to be as crazy about Jen as he was, but he was so hurt when she cheated on him with Westberg’s goalkeeper at the time. He turned into a one-night-only guy until he met Leah. As much as he’d loved Jen, it didn’t compare to how he was with my best friend. Don’t misunderstand me; I was never his biggest fan. He could be such a jerk sometimes, but he’d softened. I’d hated the idea of him being with Leah until I realised how alike they were in some ways; how broken they were when they were apart. Whatever was happening, I couldn’t imagine Radleigh letting Leah push him away.

“Do you think…?” I paused to decide whether or not to finish the sentence. What I considered doing was something I’d never done before. It wouldn’t have even crossed my mind before. Leah was my friend; Radleigh was her boyfriend. My loyalty and all listening duties should have been directed towards her. Something in the way Radleigh sat, with his back straight and his shoulders tense… I didn’t like the idea of him sitting alone, stewing over whatever had happened.

“Go for it,” Bryce said. “But be careful you don’t end up in between the two of them. Radleigh’s my best buddy, and you know I think the world of Leah. Being in the middle is rough.”

“She talks to you?” I thought Bryce mostly hung out with Radleigh when he was at their house. When did Leah and Bryce get time to talk?

He smiled. “Don’t look at me that way. You’re not losing your place as the best friend, Freya, I swear. Once or twice I’ve been caught up in fights while I’ve been there, that’s all. Sometimes Radleigh walks out, sometimes Leah walks out. I listen to whoever’s left. It doesn’t happen often, but there’s definitely tension.”

“Okay. I’ll give it a try.”

Bryce gave an encouraging smile before I battled my way to the bar.
What the hell am I thinking here? He’s never going to appreciate me interfering in whatever’s happening with him and Leah.
Except I wasn’t interfering. I was concerned for Leah; for both of them. And deep down inside, a bubble of guilt powered this move because I should have known. I should have been there for her sooner.

“Hey, Radleigh.”

He slowly swivelled around on his stool, now halfway through his second beer and no sign of his stress easing.

“Freya. You need a drink?”

I shook my head. “I wanted to… I thought…” Sheesh, where had my words gone? I’d worked with him for more than four years but I still found him a little intimidating, especially when he was angry. Skating the fine line between concern and triggering his temper put me on edge, but if I could help, I had to try. After all, he had allowed me to take up residence in one of his spare rooms for a lot of the last few months. It was only fair I tried to repay the favour.

“Spit it out, Freya.”

“Do you wanna talk? I mean… I… I heard you and Leah fighting last night, and now you’re here without her and-”

He glared. “She’s pregnant. I won’t let her go to clubs while she’s got my baby inside her.”

Wow. Dick mode engaged. Perhaps I shouldn’t have wasted my time. With a nod, I turned away.

“Wait. I’m sorry.”

The word was so alien coming from his lips I almost lost my footing as I spun back around. I raised an eyebrow and he shrugged. “White wine spritzer?”

“Sure.”
He ordered my drink and I nudged my way in between Radleigh and yet another woman who gave him the eye. Jesus. The amount of attention this guy got had to put him on par with Chris Hemsworth and Nick Bateman. It was no surprise Leah felt insecure sometimes. He was ogled whether out alone or with her; some women truly have no shame.

Radleigh handed me my drink, and after thanking him, I said, “You wanna tell me what happened?”

Blowing out a breath, he shook his head. “I don’t understand her right now. It’s like some kind of monster has taken over her and she can’t hear anything I say.”

“What’s the problem? I overheard her saying something about being lonely.”

“Right. And it’s crazy. I know she misses me when I’m away, but it’s never for longer than a couple of days, and she knows where I am. I call her. All the time. When I land wherever we’re going, when I get to the hotel. I call her before I go to sleep, and first thing in the morning. I always have. Nothing’s changed, but the past few weeks it’s like nothing is enough. Every time I leave the house she wants to know where I’m going and how long I’ll be. If I’m late, she freaks out, and I can’t… I don’t know what to do.”

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