Playing For Keeps (23 page)

It had only been a few weeks since they'd come back from their family honeymoon, the girls still talking about their Bermuda getaway. Sharing a cabin with their grandmother, both had been ecstatic to roam the ship freely, spending much of their time in the vessel's teen center. During the day they'd been able to swim, rock climb, and play basketball with other like-minded young people. At night there had been the teen nightclub where both had danced until they were exhausted. Exploring the island had been one adventure after another and by their last day docked in the port at Hamilton, both had declared the island their favorite place in the whole wide world.

Cilla and Malcolm had agreed. The blue skies, pink sand beaches, and warm ocean waters had been a dream come true. From start to finish the experience had been nirvana, both feeling like they'd been dropped into their own personal Garden of Eden. Even those moments when the twins had interrupted their private time together had been glorious, both grateful that their little family was well and happy.

Now they were back to reality, negotiating school and work, schedules, homework, and a list of to do's a mile long. And Cilla was trying to balance moving from her townhome into her new home, still up in the air about whether or not she was going to rent or sell her old space. She blew a heavy sigh, taking a quick glance to the watch on her wrist.

Her cell phone ringing was unexpected. The girls were in school. She had already spoken to Malcolm and Bianca, and Mama Claudette was taking an impromptu nap in her room. She recognized the Baltimore area code but not the number.

“Hello?”

“Cilla? Hello, it's Maxine Perry.”

“Miss Maxine, how are you?” Surprise registered in Cilla's tone.

“I'm good. How about yourself? How's married life treating you?”

Cilla laughed. “It's treating me well. I couldn't imagine being happier.”

“I'm glad to hear that. And my granddaughters? How are they doing?”

“Always a challenge! Cleo just earned her orange belt in karate and Claudia will be dancing the lead in this year's
Nutcracker
performance. So they're keeping us running. But grades are good, both are full of energy and they like to keep their father on his toes.”

“I'm so proud of them and you have been such a blessing to them both. You've also made Malcolm extremely happy. He deserved that more than you know.”

“Well, I appreciate you saying so.”

“I guess you're wondering why I'm calling,” Miss Maxine said, dismissing with the small talk.

Cilla didn't bother to reply, instead waiting for the woman to continue.

“My daughter was transferred to the federal prison last week. She asked me to call you to ask if you would come see her and I promised her I would.”

The woman's request came as a complete surprise. Cilla found herself suddenly contemplating her options. “I . . . I don't . . . why?”

“I asked the same question and she really didn't say. But I don't think her intentions are malicious. If I had any concerns I wouldn't have called and asked. I wouldn't have done that to you and Malcolm.”

Cilla paused, thinking about the request. Her mind was racing as she pondered the possibilities. She nodded into the receiver. “I can do that,” she said finally. “I can hear her out.”

Miss Maxine blew a grateful sigh. “I'll have her attorney call you with the details. It was good to talk to you, Cilla.”

“You, too, Miss Maxine.”

“And, thank you,” the older woman said before disconnecting the call. “Thank you for everything. You'll never know how much you mean to me.”

 

 

“Why are you doing this?” Malcolm asked as Cilla tossed clothes into a suitcase, preparing for the two-day trip to the federal prison in Cumberland, Maryland, where Shanell had been incarcerated. “What are you trying to accomplish?”

Cilla dropped down onto the bed beside him. “I don't know. I just know that she asked and her mother wanted it too. I don't think it can hurt.”

“I don't appreciate Maxine doing that and I plan to tell her so. You don't need to deal with Shanell's craziness. None of us do. I'm doing whatever I need to do to insure she never gets near the girls ever again. I don't think you should go.”

“You're still angry. And I understand it but that doesn't make it right, Malcolm.”

He rolled his eyes toward the ceiling. “You're too nice. I can't afford to be nice.”

“It's not about being nice. It's about doing whatever needs to be done in the best interest of the girls. They haven't stopped loving their mother and they aren't still mad at her. They know she's sick and they want to see her well, whether you like it or not.”

“Well, I don't like it and I'm asking you not to go.”

She met his stare, holding the look he was giving her. “Please, don't do that. Don't give me an ultimatum.”

“I'm not. I'm point blank asking you not to go see my ex-wife.”

“Fine, and I hear you, but I am going to go see Cleo and Claudia's mother.”

Shaking his head, Malcolm moved onto his feet. Not saying another word he exited the room, his footsteps fading off into the distance as he moved through the hallway and down the stairs. Cilla blew a low sigh. She was learning that Malcolm could be exceptionally sensitive about some things and with everything that had happened he was particularly sensitive when it came to Shanell.

He would pout for days, barely having two words to say to her and then the apology would come and the discussion they should have had from jump. Cilla could tell that this time he'd be angry until well after she returned, when he was certain that Shanell's actions couldn't blow anything else up in their lives.

She continued to toss her belongings into a carry-on bag, uncertain whether to pack for warm weather or cold. She and the girls had already had a conversation about her trip, Cleo and Claudia excited to have her pass on letters and drawings to their mother. Both had much to say and she appreciated the level of maturity they were showing. She only wished Malcolm would take some pointers from his offspring.

 

 

By the time Cilla found her way back downstairs, Malcolm was gone, he and the girls going for ice cream. Frustration creased her brow, unable to fathom what she needed to do or say to move him past his stubbornness. She caught a quick glimpse of Mama Claudette out in the backyard and she exited the door, seeking out the old woman for advice.

The sun was beginning its descent in the early evening sky. Mama Claudette was enjoying the last remnants of sunlight as she worked the gardens in the backyard. Cilla took a deep breath as she admired the matriarch's handiwork. She'd carved gardens out of the raw land, laying lines of growing color like a painter laying lines of paint against a blank canvas. Ivy crept up and over foundations of rock, trumpeting loudly against the base of fallen trees. She'd blown life in shades of green against a backdrop of dry dirt and blue sky and it was a blessing beneath Cilla's feet as she walked in the woman's direction.

On her knees Mama Claudette was pulling weeds from around the flower beds. With the changing weather she was beginning to prepare her plants for the cold weather that was sure to come.

“Mama Claudette, your gardens are so beautiful!”

“Thank you, baby,” she responded as she stood upright, a hand falling against her plump hip. “Is everything okay?”

Cilla shook her head. “Malcolm's upset with me. He doesn't want me to go to Maryland to talk to Shanell.”

Her mother-in-law nodded her head. “So what are you going to do?”

“I have to go. I think I need to hear her out. For Cleo and Claudia's sake if for no other reason.”

“Then you should go. Malcolm will get over it.”

“But I hate it when there's tension between us. He closes himself off and shuts me out. It's not a good feeling.”

“No, it's not, but you know how to handle Malcolm. He gets frustrated when he can't control a situation but everything isn't for him to handle. One day he'll figure that out.”

Cilla blew a gust of warm breath past her lips. Her gaze skated across the landscape as she tried to collect her thoughts, wanting to figure out what to do.

Mama Claudette chuckled softly. “Stop worrying. Everything is going to work out. Malcolm loves you and you love him. You going to speak with Shanell is not going to change that. Personally, I think it's a good thing. Malcolm is connected to Shanell as long as the girls are living and breathing whether he likes it or not. They don't have to like each other but there are going to be moments when they're going to have to get along.”

Cilla nodded in agreement. She smiled brightly. “Do you think if I baked him a cake he'll be in a better mood?”

Mama Claudette smiled. “He might not be but I assure you it will make me and the girls very happy!”

Chapter Twenty

The medium security correctional institution in Cumberland, Maryland, was intimidating and only because Cilla knew it was a federal prison that housed some thirteen hundred offenders. As she pulled her rental car into the parking lot she took a deep breath to ease her rising anxiety. Shanell's attorney had added her to the approved visitors list and Cilla had called days earlier to guarantee the visit would be permitted.

Arriving the night before she'd gone over the lengthy list of visiting rules and regulations insuring there would be no issues that would necessitate her being turned away. Securing her car she followed the signs that pointed her in the direction of the visiting room. After enduring two body searches and numerous reviews of her paperwork she was led to the visiting room to wait.

Around her, wives, mothers, fathers, and children sat excitedly, anxious for the little time they would be able to spend with their loved ones. Despite the energy in the room Cilla found it all a little depressing. She blew a deep sigh wishing she had her cell phone and could text Malcolm. She missed him and despite his being mad she knew he missed her too.

When the door opened next a guard led Shanell into the room. The woman walking in Cilla's direction in no way resembled the woman she'd seen in Baltimore. She wore the mandatory tan jumper, which actually looked like a couture design on her ultra-lean frame. Her hair was pulled back into a single ponytail down the length of her back. Her hands were pushed deep in the pocket and she looked almost childlike as she tried to hide her nervousness. As she sat down across the table, Cilla noted that her eyes were clear and bright. Both women smiled, trying to ease the tension between them.

“Thank you for coming,” Shanell said, initiating the conversation.

Cilla smiled. “I wasn't sure why you asked me.”

She shrugged. “I've been practicing what I wanted to say for weeks. Now that you're here, my mind's gone completely blank.”

Cilla smiled again. “The girls both wrote you letters and sent you their school photos. They confiscated them when I arrived. The guard said you'd get them once they were cleared.”

Shanell nodded. “Thank you.” Tears suddenly burned hot against her eyelids. “The girls are why I asked you to come see me. I was hoping you'd tell me about my daughters. My mother says that you've become very close to them.”

Cilla nodded. “They're amazing young women. You should be very proud. They're resilient, independent, intelligent, spirited, and they both have big, big dreams. Claudia wants to be a doctor and she has such a compassionate spirit that I imagine she'll have an amazing bedside manner. Cleo's torn between being a pilot or a marine biologist. I actually think she'll eventually have a career in law. That one likes to argue.”

“I never meant to hurt them. I can't believe I did what I did. I can't forgive myself for putting Cleo in such a horrible situation. I'm her mother and I failed her.” Tears streamed down the woman's face, contrition heavy against her narrow shoulders.

Cilla wasn't sure what to say so she didn't say anything at all. She swiped at her eyes, fighting to keep her own tears from falling.

“I wrote them but I don't think Malcolm is going to let them read my letters.”

“He's going to need some time. The girls are everything to him and he can't get past the fact that they weren't everything to you.”

Shanell flinched, the honest assessment gut-wrenching to hear. She nodded her head.

There was an awkward moment of silence that wafted between them. Both shifted their gazes to eye the others in the room. Cilla found herself watching an elderly inmate sitting with a young woman who appeared to be her daughter. There was an uncomfortable air between them. Cilla suddenly imagined that their visits had become rote, the woman fulfilling her mother's expectations even though it wasn't what she really wanted to do. She suddenly wanted to cry for them both. Instead, she turned her attention back to Shanell who'd resumed the conversation.

“I've gotten past the withdrawals and now I'm doing a twelve-step program. It's a daily struggle. But I'm going to be here for a while and I hope that when I'm able to see my girls again that they'll know I've been working really hard to be a better woman. I hope one day they'll be able to forgive me.”

“Your daughters love you. They've already forgiven you. They just really want to see you healthy and they want a relationship with you. You're their mother!”

“So are you.”

The two women locked gazes for a brief moment before Shanell continued. “I hated you when I heard Malcolm had married you. And I really hated you when I heard how close you were to my daughters. But I realize I was just jealous that you're able to do for them what I couldn't do.”

“You know Malcolm and you know he would never have let any woman close to the girls who wasn't capable of loving them like they were her own.”

“And that's the other reason I really wanted to talk to you. Malcolm trusts you with our daughters. And even if I didn't show it, I have always trusted Malcolm. He's an amazing man. I really screwed up there.”

Cilla smiled, her head bobbing. “Yeah, you did. I hate to say that but your loss was definitely my gain.”

Shanell laughed and the lilt of it brightened her face. “I hope that you and I can be friends one day. I don't know what's going to happen in the future but I do know that you're going to be able to have a relationship with my girls that I will never have. You'll be there for their first dates. Prom. Graduations. First day of college. I'm going to miss all that and I only have myself to blame. I would really like to be friends with the woman who does get to share all that with them.”

“I would like that too, Shanell. I really would.”

Shanell took a deep breath. “When they were little, Claudia liked to play the game duck, duck, goose. And when she got goose, instead of running, she'd spread her arms and would say she was flying and she couldn't be caught if she was in the air.

“And Cleo was obsessed with the Ying Yang Twins because she thought they were really twins like her and Claudia and she would go around whispering everything, doing her own version of ‘The Whisper Song.' It was crazy but it made me laugh. They might not remember but we had moments that were very special. One day I hope they remember.”

She stood up and gestured for a guard. “Thank you for coming.”

Cilla stood with her, reaching to give her a warm hug. “Take care of yourself, Shanell!”

Shanell nodded, her tears falling one last time. With a slight wave of her hand she exited the room and disappeared from sight.

Back in her car Cilla sobbed. She cried for Cleo and Claudia and their mother and all the love they had for each other. Her tears were hot, burning down her cheeks, and all she wanted in that moment was to hurry home and be back in Malcolm's arms.

Malcolm was sitting alone in the club when his cell phone vibrated atop the bar. It had been going off for the last few hours and without looking he knew it was Cilla trying to call. They'd been playing phone tag for longer than either would have liked and even as he raced to answer it, knocking over two chairs in the process, he just knew that it would stop ringing before he could get to it.

He blew a heavy sigh as he stared at the blank screen. He redialed her number, and the call went right to Cilla's voice mail. He cursed, hitting the redial a second time. When she didn't answer he tossed the phone back to the bar top and moved to pick up the chairs.

Music was still playing in the background. Malcolm hadn't seen any need to turn off the sound system. He wasn't ready yet for the quiet. He had spent most of the day trying not to think about Cilla's trip to the penitentiary to see his ex-wife but he couldn't stop wondering what the two had needed to talk about. He didn't trust Shanell and her motives gave him reason to pause.

There was a knock on the outer door, the heavy rapping drawing Malcolm's attention. For a brief moment he thought about ignoring it but something about the urgency of it pulled him in its direction. He used his key to unlock the front entrance. He pushed it open slightly, preparing to tell whoever it was that they were closed for the night. His eyes widened as Cilla stood on the other side. She smiled, giving him a slight wave of her hand.

“Hey, you!”

“Hey, yourself.”

Malcolm opened the door wide enough for her to step inside, locking it securely behind her. She wore faded jeans that hugged her firm legs and a white silk blouse with the top two buttons undone. He couldn't help but notice the way the dim lights overhead played against her skin, warming her complexion a brilliant shade of gold. A heated tremor crept through him, making him shiver.

Cilla stepped into his arms and hugged him tightly. “Were you busy?”

“I was trying to call you back. It kept going to voice mail.”

“My battery just died,” she said, gesturing with the device.

He took a deep breath. “How was your trip?”

She nodded. “It was good. I really think you'll be pleased.”

He shrugged. “I trust your judgment. And I should have supported you. I'm sorry.”

She pressed a hand to his cheek. “We can talk later. Right now, I just want you to hold me. I missed you.”

Malcolm gently grabbed her hand and pulled her into the inner sanctuary. In the background the Danish singer Ayoe Angelica was singing her song “Get a Hold.” The beat was thick and sultry, the seductive vibrato reminding them both of a really good time.

Malcolm turned and pulled her close. He had missed her more and there were no words to express just how much. He didn't need to speak, his body saying everything that needed to be said.

He eased his body against hers and eased both of them into the music. He wanted to touch her skin, to feel her graceful body pressed against his own. He pressed his check to her cheek, breathing in her sweet scent. He felt her body grow warm and languid at the prospect of what would eventually come. They did a slow drag across the dance floor, their movements reminiscent of the dances that made a blue-light basement party memorable. They danced until they were all danced out.

Leaving her car, they rode home together. Cilla leaned her head against his shoulder, holding tight to his arm as he maneuvered his car through downtown Raleigh. Lights flickered in the dark sky, everything more intense as both their senses were heightened.

Malcolm whispered her name in the late-night air.

“Yes?” She lifted her eyes to his, catching a glimmer of her reflection in his stare.

“Have I told you how beautiful you are?”

“You have.”

“Have I told you how much I love you?”

She nodded. “You tell me every day.”

He turned his focus back to the road.

Cilla smiled. “Why do you ask?”

“Just making sure I'm taking care of business.”

“You're doing a great job,” she said softly.

“You'd tell me if I wasn't, right?”

She laughed. “I would.”

Malcolm reached for her hand and held it as he pulled the car into the driveway. Exiting the vehicle he moved from the driver's side to the passenger door and opened it. He extended his hand to help her out.

They walked arm in arm into the home, laughing easily as she caught up on all she'd' missed. She'd tell him all about Shanell tomorrow. But tonight was about them. The home was dark save for one light in the family room. Everything was quiet, the mood easy and relaxed.

Cilla grabbed his hand and pulled him close, walking him backward until his back hit the refrigerator door. She pressed her body against his, still moving to the beat of the music that resounded in her head. Lifting her mouth to his she kissed him hungrily, having missed his touch more than she could ever have imagined. She shivered as he slipped his hands beneath her shirt, his palms heated against her flesh. Each craved the other's touch, the moment moving them both to want more.

The lights in the room suddenly flickered on, illuminating the space brightly. Standing in the entranceway Cleo and Claudia were giggling emphatically, the palms slapped over their mouths.

Malcolm and Cilla blushed profusely, feeling like they'd been caught with their hands deep in the cookie jar.

“Uh, why are you two still awake?” Malcolm snapped.

Cleo laughed. “We were waiting for Mimi to get home,” she said as both girls rushed to Cilla's side, wrapping their arms tightly around her.

She laughed with them, kissing one and then the other. “You two should be in bed. You have school tomorrow.”