Playing My Love (13 page)

  It only got sold about a month ago, and you wouldn't believe what Nicki had to do to get the address from this guy!
  Let's just say I owe her on a massive scale!  So we discussed the best way to approach it, and decided the best course of action would be to break in and steal it.  That's when Baz got involved.  Nic asked him to break in and get the ring back for us, and he agreed.  We scoped out this guy's house before we asked, by the way, and he was absolutely loaded.  He had a couple of cars on his drive that could have bought a three bedroom house!  It made me feel a bit better about it, you know?

  The other night, he…well, he did the house over, I guess.  He took a few random bits and pieces, including my ring.  So yes, I got the ring back, but I sort of lost my integrity in doing so."  She sat back, deflated now the story was finished.  I realised I was still holding her hand, but didn't want to let go
.  There was a silence as everything sunk in.  "Well?  Now you know pretty much everything there is to know about me.  What are you thinking?"

  "I'm thinking how awful I feel for running out on you
without waiting for an explanation.  And that I owe you a massive apology.  I am so sorry Daneka."

  She looked at me, a curious expression on her face.

  "Apology accepted.  Why did you call me that?"

  "I don't know. I think I wanted to let you know how serious I was.  Would you prefer it if I didn't call you Daneka?"

  "No, it's okay.  It sounds nice when you say it"  she said quietly, then looked down at our hands that were still joined.  "Alison?  Do you remember when we first met?  You threw that money in my case and practically ran off?"

  "Yes, of course."

  "Do you know the first thing that went through my mind when I caught up to you?  You turned around and…I thought of summer."

  "Summer?"  I repeated, noting that we were now talking in hushed tones.  She nodded, still not looking at me.

  "Mm.  It was strange.  The whole time I was with Sam, I used to think her eyes were such a beautiful shade of blue.  They were almost a crystalline blue, like the sky on a really cold, crisp, but sunny winter's day.  She had winter blue eyes.  I've hated looking into blue eyes since then, cos they seemed so cold and just reminded me of her too much.  Until you.  When I looked into
your
eyes, I thought of summer and it sort of thawed something inside me.  You have these really deep, almost indigo eyes."  She looked up at me now.  "But I realised there was more pain in your eyes than there was in my own.  It might sound stupid to you, but I wanted to try and take some of that pain away.  If I was going to psychoanalyse myself, I'd probably say that I thought by easing your pain, it would ease mine.  I just…"  she suddenly covered her face with her free hand.  "Ah shit.  I can't believe I just told you all of that."

  "I'm glad you did.  I'm very flattered.
"  I suddenly felt I needed to share something with her, out of respect for the amount of sharing she'd done with me.  "That day, in the park, I'd just found out that Gray and I can never have children.  Ever."

  Darcy saw my bottom lip wobble and sucked in a sharp breath, pulling me into a close hug.

  "Oh, Alison, I'm so sorry.  That must have been awful."

  "You have no idea"  I said, even as I felt the tears break through the barricade, and roll down my cheeks.  But they weren't just tears for myself, they were tears for her too.  Darcy released my hand, but only so she could pull me closer as I cried on her shoulder.  I buried my face into her as she stroked my hair, but we were both soothing each other.  Occasionally she'd kiss the side of my head,
and I felt not only comforted, but totally comfortable with her affection.  I wasn't even comfortable with Gray trying to comfort me.  There was something maternal in the way she held me, however.  I could almost believe that everything was going to be alright.

  We possibly
might have stayed that way for longer had Gray not knocked gently on the door to ask if Darcy wanted to join us for dinner.  We pulled apart guiltily, while I wiped my eyes as best I could.

  "Would you like to?  You'd be more than welcome?"

  She pursed her lips together as she debated it.

  "I'd probably better go.  I have a lot of work to be getting on with and I was only coming over to check you were okay."

  "Are you sure?"  I asked, feeling disappointed.  She nodded, stroking a stray hair from my cheek.

  "Yes, but thank you anyway."

  I called out to Gray that she wouldn't be eating with us, and he went back to the house.

  "So, looks like I've got some apologising to do as well.  I kicked everyone out of my flat on Saturday night after you left"  she said sheepishly.  "I thought someone had said something to you to make you run out, and when no one owned up, I stopped the party and booted them all out."

  I groaned.

  "Oh no!  I'm sure they all hate me now!"

  "Ah, they're a fickle lot but easily pleased!  If you want to get back in their good books, bring a bottle of tequila next time.  They'll love you all over again!"

  "Next time?"  I shook my head, smiling.  "I think I'll just stick to our guitar lessons from now on."

  "I'm sorry I called you a narrow minded bigot.  I…"

  "Darcy, it's okay!  I know!  We both jumped to the wrong conclusions."

  "It won't ever happen again"  she said firmly.

  We agreed to keep our lesson for later in the week, then I walked her to her car.
  I felt so much lighter now I knew we were good again, and when I went back inside to Gray, I forgot I'd been ignoring him and gave him a big cuddle.

                                                                  
8

                                            City Meets Country

  "Oh.  My.  God."

  "What the…?"

  Gray and I were sat in my jeep at the train station waiting for Jazz and Chris to arrive, and they most definitely had
done just that.  We both smiled through gritted teeth as we spoke to each other.

  "They are not leaving the house all weekend."

  "Do you think they came all the way from London like that?"

  Our best friends were stood in the midst of the crowd wearing matching checked shirts, baggy blue dungarees, welly boots and straw hats.

  Oh, and they were carrying very large gardening tools.

  They saw us and waved, smiling broadly.  We waved back and they headed over.

  "Sweet jesus, is that a pitchfork?"  Gray whispered and I stifled a laugh.

  "
Oo-aarr, me hearties, tather ye been?"  Jazz said in a loud voice as we got out to welcome them.  The laughter I'd stifled escaped.

  "I have no idea what you just said, but I'm pretty certain it was part pirate"  I said, giving her a warm hug.

  "It is so good to see you darling!  I've missed you so much!"

  "I've missed you too!"  I whispered back, inhaling her familiar perfume
.  All of a sudden, I felt nostalgic and homesick for her, and I hugged her tight.

  "Oh Ali-bar, how have you been?"

  I couldn't answer.  I felt a surge of emotion course through me, disabling my vocal cords.  My eyes welled up and I clutched her to me tightly, unable to control myself.

  This must be what they mean by 'opening the floodgates.
'  Damn you Darcy and whatever it is you've done to me!

  Jazz, bless her, held my head against her shoulder, pretending like I cried on her all the time.

  "You guys catch on up, we're going to the ladies for five"  she said, casually manoeuvring me round so they wouldn't see my teary face.  Then she guided me through the station and into the toilets.

  "What's happened?"  she asked, concerned.

  "What?  What do you mean?"  I tore a few sheets of tissue off and blew my nose.

  "Ali, you and I both know that you've never cried in public before.  So
what is it?  Did you get more news baby?"  She softened her tone as she studied me intently.  I shook my head, but I could feel my bottom lip jutting out to betray me.

  "I'm just so happy to see
yooouuu"  I wailed, dissolving again.  I caught the shocked look on Jazz's face before she threw her arms around me.

  "Bloody hell!  This country air's softened you up good and proper.  Come here!"

  "I don't know what's…what's wrong with m…me!"  I managed between sobs, hiccoughing.  "I just seem to…to be crying…ALL the time!"

  "When did you start?"

  "When will it stop?"

  Jazz got me some more tissue, then studied our reflections in the mirror.  Her hair was more of a mucky blonde than mine, and hung straight between her shoulder blades.  She had what Darcy probably meant by winter blue eyes.  They were an icy, clear turquoise, and I
knew they'd reduced many to a quivering wreck.  But right now, they were full of nothing but love and compassion.

  "Oh sweetie!  I don't know what to say.  I wish I could make all this better for you, but I can't.  I can't even promise that it'll get any easier."

  "It's just so unfair."  I splashed some cold water on my face, but stayed with my head hung over the edge of the sink.  "Why?  Why didn't we think about having kids before?"

  "Because in the city, we always leave stuff like that for tomorrow, and tomorrow never comes because there's always something that pops up to distract us."  She softened her voice.  "Do you remember how I put off going to visit Shelley for months, and then she was in that car accident?  I still beat myself up over that now."

  I straightened and turned to look at her.

  "That's because the last time you saw her you called her 'smelly-Shelley', and informed her that Rob would never marry her if she continued to dodge the soap"  I said.  Jazz tilted her head at me and smiled regretfully.

  "And I've had to live with it on my conscience ever since"  she said softly.  I couldn't help it.  I laughed.

  "Only because she refused to ever speak to you again
!  She only broke her arm in that accident!"

  "That's not the point darling, is it?  What was the point again?"
 

  I laughed again,
snotting at the same time.  She recoiled in horror, laughing as I attempted to wipe it away.  This was one of the many reasons I loved Jazz so much!  Her incredible ability to distract.  It was a skill she abused as much as possible in the courtroom (I remember she told me once how a witness had royally messed up after she winked at him slyly.  He'd been so thrown, he'd forgotten his own statement!  When I later asked her if it hadn't been unprofessional, she'd dismissed it with a wave of her hand and said, "Professional-shemessional.  If he'd been telling the truth, he wouldn't have messed up!")

  "Thanks
, Jazz.  It means a lot to me that you're here"  I said, trying to regain my control as a couple of ladies came through the door.

  "Me too.  Now let's go get jacked on some cheap
scrumpy cider and go cow tipping!"

  The elderly lady next to me turned to Jazz sharply as I burst out laughing again, then I took my
best friend's arm and we left the toilets with her singing Tammy Wynette's Stand By Your Man at the top of her voice.

  Her best country voice, of course!

  "I just think a samurai sword is not only far more practical, but economical at the same time.  You'd never run out of ammo, and you can control what and where you hit"  Chris said, pouring another whiskey in his glass.

  "I'm with you all the way baby, but I'd go more for a machete than a samurai.  They're far easier to wield and carry around, and you can have one in each hand"  Jazz lay back into his embrace and he kissed the top of her head.
  "That way you can kill two at the same time!"

  "That's my girl."

  "But you have to be so close to them to have any sort of effect with those.  At least with a gun you can keep distance between yourself and them"  Gray said, looking at me for support.  I sighed.

  "I'm sorry
, darling.  I've got to say I'm with them.  I'd much rather be packing a razor sharp machete than a shotgun!  What if you missed?  What if you took too long to reload?  What if you run out of ammo?"  I patted his arm softly.  "A gun just isn't practical."