Playing With Fire (Firehouse Fourteen Book 2) (19 page)

"No, Angela. You know how I feel. Don't expect me to approve or condone." His words were cold and empty, aimed at her heart whether he intended that or not. She blinked again, wanting to reach out to him but afraid he'd brush her off once more. Then he looked away and pushed past her, saying nothing more as he headed toward the darkness of the woods, away from the campfire and everyone there.

She watched him disappear, his body swallowed by the night. Long minutes went by as she stared into the darkness, torn between going after him.

Or letting him go.

But what could she say that hadn't already been said? What else could she do? Because she wouldn't do the one thing he asked—demanded—of her. She was through living her life for anyone else. Including her brother.

She wiped a hand across her eyes and took a deep breath, then headed back to the campfire. Jay watched her, his eyes questioning. His shoulders slumped when she shook her head and he patted the empty chair next to his. She walked over and sat down, accepting the wine cooler he held out for her.

He leaned over and grabbed her hand, lacing his fingers with hers then bringing their combined hands to his mouth. He dropped a kiss along her knuckles, then held their hands in his lap.

Just held them, offering her his warmth, his strength, his comfort.

Dave left in the middle of the night.

Angie stood in front of the fire, wrapped in Jay's sweatshirt, her hands folded around a mug of coffee. And she was still cold, a slab of ice lodged deep in her stomach, chilling her from the inside.

She glanced across the campsite, seeing the empty spot where his tent had been last night. Her eyes drifted over to the vehicles parked further away, searching for his truck even though she knew it was gone. Looking for it again wouldn't make it suddenly reappear.

Dave had actually left. Packed up his things and left. Without saying anything to anyone.

And leaving her behind.

That was the part that bothered her the most, that he could just leave her. He had been upset with her last night, angry. But she didn't understand what she had done so wrong to make him actually leave her behind. Without a single word.

She raised the mug to her lips and choked down a swallow of coffee, forcing it down her swollen throat. The brew was strong and bitter, even with the added cream and sugar, but it was hot and she needed that, needed it to dispel the iciness inside her.

Arms wrapped around her waist from behind and she momentarily stiffened, surprised, then leaned back against Jay's broad chest. He kissed her cheek and held her in silence as people milled around the campsite behind them.

Everyone's initial shock at Dave's departure had worn off, everyone but hers, but she knew a few of them were still talking about it. Part of her wondered if they blamed her, if they thought it was her fault that he had left. She didn't think they did, not unless their comments and musings had solely been for her benefit.

No. They had been as genuinely surprised as she.

"We can leave now if you want."

She placed her hand over Jay's and squeezed, grateful for the offer. But she shook her head. "No, I don't want to leave. I just wish I knew why—"

"I know. I do, too." His arms tightened, briefly, then he stepped back. She turned and looked up at him; her heart skipped a little at the look in his eyes. Warmth, worry, concern. Damn Dave for pulling this stunt. Damn him for thinking only of himself.

What did he honestly think would happen if he left? Was he trying to teach her a lesson? Send her a message? That's what confused her the most: what he hoped to accomplish by leaving.

"C'mon. Breakfast is ready, you need to eat something."

They walked over to the cooking area, where Pete and Jimmy were arguing over how crispy the bacon should be before they took it off the griddle. Jay grabbed two paper plates and handed one to Angie, then pushed the quarreling chefs out of the way so they could get their food.

"See. Crispy. Everyone likes it crispy!" Pete waved a pair of tongs toward Jimmy, then pointed at Angie's plate as proof. She laughed then, just because she could, grabbed two slices of the less-crispy bacon before scooping up some scrambled eggs.

"Guess she showed you, huh?" Jimmy reached around and started pulling bacon from the griddle and placing it on a larger platter.

"You're breaking my heart, Angie. Just breaking my heart."

Jay smacked Pete in the stomach as he walked by, causing the man to grunt in mock pain. Angie laughed, then walked with Jay over to the table to join Mike and Nick. Mike looked up at her and gave her a small smile.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Just...surprised, I guess. When I talked to him last night, he was angry and told me to pack up and leave. I told him no. But I still can't believe that he just left." Angie nibbled at a piece of bacon, noticing the look that Jay and Mike exchanged. She didn't say anything, just looked at both of them and waited.

"Angie, has anything happened in the last few months, anything at all that maybe—" Mike paused, glanced at Jay, then shrugged. "Is there something else that could be going on? Because I just don't buy him being this upset over you two seeing each other."

Angie finished the bacon then shook her head. "Nothing that I know of. And believe me, I've been trying to think of anything. He got upset with me a couple months ago about working too much at the bar, said I was going to burn myself out, but he hasn't been crazy about me working there since I started."

"Jay, I know you don't want to hear this but, maybe you should talk to him tomorrow when you take Angie home."

"Yeah, I was already planning on it. I have a few things I'd like to tell him."

Angie reached out and put her hand on Jay's arm, shaking her head.

"Jay, no. That's only going to make things worse."

Mike shook her head as well, frowning at Jay. "Jay, I don't mean tell him off. I mean
talk
to him. Maybe you can figure out what's going on. Because this isn't like him."

Jay stared across the table, giving Mike an unreadable look, then blew out his breath and finally nodded. "Fine. But as soon as he starts something, I'm done."

Mike ignored him then looked back at Angie. "In the meantime, if things get that bad and you need a place to stay, my old place is open. You're more than welcome to stay there as long as you want. It's even furnished." There was a soft thud from under the table and Mike suddenly jumped, her hand reaching under the table. She fixed Jay with an annoyed look. "What the hell was that for?"

Jay's eyes widened in innocence. "What? I don't know what you're talking about."

Angie watched the byplay in curiosity, knowing she was missing something, but having no idea what it was. She looked over at Nick, who was trying to smother a laugh. And not very successfully.

She decided to ignore all of it and thanked Mike for the offer. "I appreciate it but I have one more year of school left—and the tuition to go with it. The scholarship helps with some, but not all of it. And while Grant pays me a decent amount, not to mention the tips, that's not enough to cover rent on top of everything else."

"No rent. And utilities are included in that, too. Unless you wanted something besides basic cable."

Angie stared at Mike in open-mouth shock, unable to believe what she was hearing. Was the woman actually offering her a place to stay, completely rent-free? But why?

"Don't read too much into it, Angie." Nick explained. "Kayla's referring to her apartment, which is actually a renovated barn on her dad's property. She doesn't live there anymore and her dad has no interest in renting it out. He keeps hoping that she'll leave me and move back home. It's a nice place, so just let us know if you're interested."

"Wow. Uh, thanks. I'm not sure what to say."

"No need to say anything." Mike waved away her thanks. "Just know that you've got a place to stay if you need it."

"Or she can just stay with me, you know."

Silence greeted Jay's sudden outburst, but only for a few seconds before Mike started laughing. Even Nick chuckled. But Angie didn't know how to react, or what to even say. She turned to see Jay watching her, one corner of his mouth tilted in a slight grin. More surprising than his offer was the faint blush that colored his cheeks, the pink growing slightly darker as she watched him.

"I mean, you don't have to worry. If something happens, or if you just need to get away, you have a place to stay." Jay's voice was steady but the blush on his face darkened, and she wondered if she was reading too much into it or not.

Wondering if she wanted to read too much into it.

And she still didn't know what to say. She shifted on the hard bench and looked down at her lap, then at her nearly empty plate, then finally back at Jay. "Okay. Thanks. I, uh, appreciate that. All of you."

Jay finally looked away and Mike and Nick laughed again, confusing Angie even more. She watched as Mike wadded up a napkin and tossed it at Jay, hitting him square in the chest.

"You're smooth, Jay. Real smooth."

And again, Angie couldn't help but feel like she was missing something.

Jay reached up and pulled his sunglasses off then tossed them on the dashboard. The sun had started sinking behind them and he didn't need them anymore.

What he needed was some magic wand or pill or something, anything, to use to make Angie smile. A real smile, not just an attempt at a half smile. The first few hours had been fine, with easy conversation and bantering that made the miles fly by. Too quickly, for his tastes. But there were still moments when she turned quiet and he knew without asking that she was thinking of Dave and the stunt he had pulled Tuesday night.

It was a dick move, and he had every intention of telling him that. Not that he'd said that much to Angie, though he was pretty sure she knew his exact thoughts on the entire matter.

So while she had been quiet, he hadn't worried too much, not when he knew how upset the whole situation had made her. But she had grown increasingly quieter during the last hour and he didn't know what to say, didn't know how to reassure her.

Even if he could reassure her.

They were only about ten minutes from her house and the tension coming off her now was nearly suffocating. And he hated seeing her like this, hated knowing that he was, at least in part, to blame.

From Dave's perspective anyway.

Jay sighed and stretched his back, feeling a small pop at the base of his spine. He looked over at Angie and felt a surge of warmth unfurl beneath his breastbone. She was staring out the window, pensive, her shoulders slightly hunched around her ears.

And he would do anything, anything at all, to make her pain go away.

He reached across the console and took her hand in his, gently squeezing. She turned in the seat and offered him a shadow of a smile, then gazed back out the window.

"Angie, what I said yesterday morning, about staying with me. I was serious. You don't have to go home." He tried to find the right tone, something between comforting and caring, trying not to sound like he was asking her to move in. He wasn't sure how successful he was, because he suddenly realized he would love nothing more than waking up beside her each morning.

And what kind of an ass was he, hoping she could read between the lines when she didn't even know how he felt? When she was worried about this whole situation with Dave?

And he wished he could take the words back, because surely she'd think he was crazy, but it was too late. She looked over at him and smiled, another ghost smile, and squeezed his hand.

"I know, thanks. That actually means a lot."

Jay nodded then turned his attention back to the road, not knowing if he should be relieved—or disappointed. And then it didn't matter because he was turning into the development where she lived. She stiffened in the seat next to him and he realized she was even more worried than he thought.

He turned into the driveway and parked behind Dave's truck, shut off the engine, then turned in his seat. "Do you want me to go in and talk to him first?"

A split-second of relief crossed her face and Jay was certain she was going to say yes. Then she frowned and shook her head. "No, but thanks." Before he could say anything else, she opened the door and climbed out.

He followed, walking around to the back and grabbing her gear. She reached for her duffel bag and Jay held it out for her, ready to hand it to her.

But he couldn't, not yet, not when she looked so uncertain.

He dropped the bag to the ground and pulled her into his arms, pressing what he hoped was a comforting kiss against her lips. He cupped her face in both hands and tilted her head up so she was looking at him. His eyes searched hers, quiet, intent.

"Angie, I just want you to know..." His voice trailed off, his heart hammering so loud in his chest he was surprised she couldn't hear it. He cleared his throat and ran his tongue across his suddenly dry lips, searching for the words that shouldn't be so hard to find. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then opened them to see Angie watching him in curiosity.

"Angie, whatever happens, I just...Oh hell." He closed his mouth over hers, intent, demanding. His tongue swept into her mouth, tasting. She moaned, a bare whisper of breath mingling with his as she leaned in closer. He pulled his mouth away, stared down into her dazed eyes. "I love you."

Her eyes widened, then she blinked. And blinked again, her gaze stunned. The bottom of Jay's stomach dropped and he closed his eyes. God, he was a freaking idiot. Why couldn't he have just kept his mouth shut? He gently released his hold on her face and stepped back, wondering if he should apologize, wondering if he should say something else. But he didn't get a chance because Angie was suddenly pressed against him, her lips warm against his as she kissed him, long and hard.

He opened his eyes and looked down, felt the coldness in his belly disappear as she watched him with wide eyes. "I love you, Jay." She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him again, slow, hot, welcoming.

His arms closed around her, holding her even closer as he lost himself in her touch, in her warmth. Awareness flashed in the back of his mind, reminding him where they were, what he had to do, and he gentled the kiss, finally pulling away.

He smiled down at her and reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "Just remember that when we go in there, okay? I'm here for you, Angie, no matter what."

She nodded, but neither one of them moved. It was as if they were afraid to, afraid some spell might be broken if they did. But Jay knew they couldn't stay here all night, couldn't put off whatever else might happen, so he gave her one more quick kiss then leaned down and grabbed her duffel bag.

She watched him, chewing on her lower lip in indecision, then nodded once more. She grabbed the other bag then turned away and headed toward the house, Jay right behind her.

The living room was empty and quiet, the television against the far wall turned on but with the sound muted. Jay looked around, his gaze wary, not knowing what to expect.

Not really knowing what he had expected. Maybe Dave waiting for him with a shotgun?

Yeah, that was an exaggeration. Probably. But tension still hummed inside, tight, cautious, his anticipation making him edgy. He dropped Angie's bag next to the stairs then waited.

"Dave? I'm home." Angie called out, dropping her other bag next to the first one. She cocked her head, listening, then moved off toward the back of the house, toward the kitchen. That's when Jay noticed it, the sound of running water and the clatter of pans.

He followed Angie into the kitchen just as Dave turned from the stove. His eyes rested first on Angie, then moved to Jay. His gaze was hard, intense, unwelcoming. He turned back to the stove, his attention on whatever he was cooking. A minute went by before he moved the pan and placed it on the counter, then turned back to face them.

"You know, an apology might be nice." Anger laced Angie's words but Jay could hear the hurt under them. He wondered if Dave could, as well. If he did, he didn't acknowledge it, just fixed his sister with that cool detached expression, one brow raised in question.

"Apology for what?"

"For what? Are you serious? How about for just taking off like that, without a word to anyone? How about for just leaving me behind with no way home?"

Dave crossed his arms and watched Angie for another second, then looked pointedly at Jay before turning back to her. "Doesn't look like you had any trouble finding a way home to me."

"Why are you being like this, Dave? What the hell have I done to so seriously piss you off?" Angie was shouting now, whatever hurt and anger that had been buried inside her the last two days bubbling to the surface. Jay shifted his weight from one foot to the other, wondering how far he should let her go—should let them both go.

Because even though Dave hadn't moved, Jay knew the man's anger was also simmering just under the surface. And he didn't know if this would just be an argument between siblings, or if it would explode into something else.

"We've already had this discussion, Angie. I'm not repeating myself."

"No! No, we haven't. There hasn't been any discussion! There's just been you, demanding and commanding and getting pissed off! And I don't know why, and I can't handle it anymore!" Angie's voice broke with her final words and Jay wanted to go over to her, to wrap his arms around her and comfort her and tell her everything would be alright. But he watched Dave, saw the muscle jump in his clenched jaw. His dark eyes betrayed no emotion as he watched Angie.

Then there was a sudden flash of something, noticeable only because Jay was watching so carefully. And Jay knew what was coming, stepped forward to hold his hand out to Dave. To stop him from speaking, stop him from saying something he couldn't take back.

But he was too late, because the words were already out, loud and clear.

"You're free to live elsewhere if you feel you can't handle it."

"Dammit." Jay turned away from Dave and moved to Angie's side, worried only about her. Color drained from her face as she stared at her brother, shock and surprise clear in her wide dark eyes, so much like her brother's.

Jay wrapped an arm around her shoulder, tried to turn her so she was facing him. But her body was stiff, immobile, as she kept staring at Dave.

"Angie, c'mon, let's go into the other room, let me talk to him—"

She shook her head, a strand of hair falling into her wide eyes. Then she blinked and took a deep breath, and raised her chin a notch before facing Jay.

"Can I crash at your place tonight?" Her voice was even, a little cold. Jay glanced over at Dave, then back at her and nodded.

"Of course. You know that."

She nodded, and Jay noticed the fine trembling of her lips before she tightened her mouth. She tossed one last look at Dave then walked out of the kitchen.

Jay watched her disappear then turned back to Dave, his own anger rushing to the surface. Heavy silence descended on them, long seconds passing with each tick of the clock on the wall.

"Why the hell are you treating your sister like this? What is going on with you?" Jay was surprised at how calm his voice was, how steady. Dave looked over at him and met his gaze, watching, studying, before looking away.

And in that brief second of time, Jay saw something he didn't know how to interpret. Something that looked like regret—mixed with relief.

Then he wondered if he imagined it, because Dave's voice was just as cool and steady as it had been earlier.

"That doesn't really concern you, does it?"

"Yeah, I think it does." Jay watched him, searching for any sign of the emotion he had thought he'd seen, then shook his head. "Dave, what's going on? We've been friends for too long for you to be acting like this. And I can't believe that you're so set against us seeing each other that you'd take it out on Angie like this."

But Dave didn't bother replying, wouldn't even look at Jay anymore. He turned away and busied himself at the stove, moving more pans and making so much noise that Jay stepped closer to hear, just in case he did say something.

"Dammit Dave, say something! Do you honestly think I'd hurt her? I love her!"

Dave's back stiffened. Jay watched in shock as he threw a pan into the sink. Food splattered along the wall and onto the floor, but Dave made no move to clean it up. Instead, he stood there, his back to Jay, his hands braced, white-knuckled, against the edge of the counter.

Silence fell over them again, even more oppressive. Dave's breaths were harsh, tension clear in the rigid set to his shoulders. Jay didn't know what else to say, what else to do. He stood there, waiting, then let out his breath and turned to walk out of the kitchen.

"It's not you."

Jay paused then turned back. But Dave was still facing the wall, the muscles in his arms bulging from the grip he maintained on the counter. "Then what is it? Talk to me, Dave, tell me what's going on."

But Dave didn't answer, barely even shook his head in response. Jay heard Angie's footsteps on the stairs, knew he had only seconds. "Dave?"

But the man in front of him just shook his head again, saying nothing. Jay sighed, not knowing what else to do, then turned to walk out of the kitchen. Dave's voice stopped him.

"You keep her safe, or I
will
come after you."

Jay turned to see Dave staring after him, his look serious, dangerous. And there was something else, something Jay thought he must be imagining. But Dave turned back around and started cleaning up the mess he had made. It was clear he wasn't going to say anything else.

Jay walked away, his confusion even greater now that it had been earlier. Angie waited for him by the front door, a backpack slung over her shoulder and a large duffel bag in her hand. Her eyes were red, shock still clear on her face.

And Jay forgot about Dave, forgot about that look of relief and gratitude in his eyes, and focused on what was most important: Angie.

He grabbed the small duffel bag he had placed near the stairs, then followed Angie out the door, pulling it closed behind him. He helped place the bags in her car, then pulled her into his arms for a brief hug.

"You sure about this?"