Plays Unpleasant (39 page)

VIVIE
. You are wrong: you know nothing about her. If you knew the circumstances against which my mother had to struggle –

FRANK
[
adroitly finishing the sentence for her
] I should know why she is what she is, shouldnt I? What difference would that make? Circumstances or no circumstances, Viv, you wont be able to stand your mother.

VIVIE
[
very angrily
] Why not?

FRANK
. Because she's an old wretch, Viv. If you ever put your arm round her waist in my presence again, I'll shoot myself there and then as a protest against an exhibition which revolts me.

VIVIE
. Must I choose between dropping your acquaintance and dropping my mother's?

FRANK
[
gracefully
] That would put the old lady at ever such a disadvantage. No, Viv; your infatuated little boy will have to stick to you in any case. But he's all the more anxious that you shouldnt make mistakes. It's no use, Viv: your mother's impossible. She may be a good sort; but she's a bad lot, a very bad lot.

VIVIE
[
hotly
] Frank – ! [
He stands his ground. She turns away and sits down on the bench under the yew tree, struggling to recover her self-command. Then she says
] Is she to be deserted by all the world because she's what you call a bad lot? Has she no right to live?

FRANK
. No fear of that, Viv: she wont ever be deserted. [
He sits on the bench beside her
].

VIVIE
. But I am to desert her, I suppose.

FRANK
[
babyishly, lulling her and making love to her with his voice
] Musnt go live with her. Little family group of mother and daughter wouldnt be a success. Spoil our little group.

VIVIE
[
falling under the spell
] What little group?

FRANK
. The babes in the wood: Vivie and little Frank. [
He nestles against her like a weary child
]. Lets go and get covered up with leaves.

VIVIE
[
rhythmically, rocking him like a nurse
] Fast asleep, hand in hand, under the trees.

FRANK
. The wise little girl with her silly little boy.

VIVIE
. The dear little boy with his dowdy little girl.

FRANK
. Ever so peaceful, and relieved from the imbecility of the little boy's father and the questionableness of the little girl's –

VIVIE
[
smothering the word against her breast
] Sh-sh-sh-sh! little
girl wants to forget all about her mother. [
They are silent for some moments, rocking one another. Then Vivie wakes up with a shock, exclaiming
] What a pair of fools we are! Come: sit up. Gracious! your hair. [
She smooths it
]. I wonder do all grown up people play in that childish way when nobody is looking. I never did it when I was a child.

FRANK
. Neither did I. You are my first playmate. [
He catches her hand to kiss it, but checks himself to look round first. Very unexpectedly, he sees Crofts emerging from the box hedge
]. Oh damn!

VIVIE
. Why damn, dear?

FRANK
[
whispering
] Sh! Heres this brute Crofts. [
He sits farther away from her with an unconcerned air
].

CROFTS
. Could I have a few words with you, Miss Vivie?

VIVIE
. Certainly.

CROFTS
[
to Frank
] Youll excuse me, Gardner. Theyre waiting for you in the church, if you dont mind.

FRANK
[
rising
] Anything to oblige you, Crofts – except church. If you should happen to want me, Vivvums, ring the gate bell. [
He goes into the house with unruffled suavity
].

CROFTS
[
watching him with a crafty air as he disappears, and speaking to Vivie with an assumption of being on privileged terms with her
] Pleasant young fellow that, Miss Vivie. Pity he has no money, isnt it?

VIVIE
. Do you think so?

CROFTS
. Well, whats he to do? No profession. No property. Whats he good for?

VIVIE
. I realize his disadvantages, Sir George.

CROFTS
[
a little taken aback at being so precisely interpreted
] Oh, it's not that. But while we're in this world we're in it; and money's money. [
Vivie does not answer
]. Nice day, isnt it?

VIVIE
[
with scarcely veiled contempt for this effort at conversation
] Very.

CROFTS
[
with brutal good humor, as if he liked her pluck
] Well, thats not what I came to say. [
Sitting down beside her
] Now listen, Miss Vivie. I'm quite aware that I'm not a young lady's man.

VIVIE
. Indeed, Sir George?

CROFTS
. No; and to tell you the honest truth I dont want to be either. But when I say a thing I mean it; when I feel a sentiment I feel it in earnest; and what I value I pay hard money for. Thats the sort of man I am.

VIVIE
. It does you great credit, I'm sure.

CROFTS
. Oh, I dont mean to praise myself. I have my faults, Heaven knows: no man is more sensible of that than I am. I know I'm not perfect; thats one of the advantages of being a middle-aged man; for I'm not a young man, and I know it. But my code is a simple one, and, I think, a good one. Honor between man and man; fidelity between man and woman; and no cant about this religion or that religion, but an honest belief that things are making for good on the whole.

VIVIE
[
with biting irony
] ‘A power, not ourselves, that makes for righteousness', eh?

CROFTS
[
taking her seriously
] Oh certainly. Not ourselves, of course. You understand what I mean. Well, now as to practical matters. You may have an idea that Ive flung my money about; but I havnt: I'm richer today than when I first came into the property. Ive used my knowledge of the world to invest my money in ways that other men have overlooked; and whatever else I may be, I'm a safe man from the money point of view.

VIVIE
. It's very kind of you to tell me all this.

CROFTS
. Oh well, come, Miss Vivie: you neednt pretend you dont see what I'm driving at. I want to settle down with a Lady Crofts. I suppose you think me very blunt, eh?

VIVIE
. Not at all: I am much obliged to you for being so definite and business-like. I quite appreciate the offer: the money, the position, Lady Crofts and so on. But I think I will say no, if you dont mind. I'd rather not. [
She rises, and strolls across to the sundial to get out of his immediate neighborhood
].

CROFTS
[
not at all discouraged, and taking advantage of the additional
room left him on the seat to spread himself comfortably, as if a few preliminary refusals were part of the inevitable routine of courtship
] I'm in no hurry. It was only just to let you know in case young Gardner should try to trap you. Leave the question open.

VIVIE
[
sharply
] My no is final. I wont go back from it.

Crofts is not impressed. He grins; leans forward with his elbows on his knees to prod with his stick at some unfortunate insect in the grass; and looks cunningly at her. She turns away impatiently
.

CROFTS
. I'm a good deal older than you. Twenty-five years: quarter of a century. I shant live for ever; and I'll take care that you shall be well off when I'm gone.

VIVIE
. I am proof against even that inducement, Sir George. Dont you think youd better take your answer? There is not the slightest chance of my altering it.

CROFTS
[
rising, after a final slash at a daisy, and coming nearer to her
] Well, no matter. I could tell you some things that would change your mind fast enough; but I wont, because I'd rather win you by honest affection. I was a good friend to your mother: ask her whether I wasnt. She'd never have made the money that paid for your education if it hadnt been for my advice and help, not to mention the money I advanced her. There are not many men would have stood by her as I have. I put not less than £40,000 into it, from first to last.

VIVIE
[
staring at him
] Do you mean to say you were my mother's business partner?

CROFTS
. Yes. Now just think of all the trouble and the explanations it would save if we were to keep the whole thing in the family, so to speak. Ask your mother whether she'd like to have to explain all her affairs to a perfect stranger.

VIVIE
. I see no difficulty, since I understand that the business is wound up, and the money invested.

CROFTS
[
stopping short, amazed
] Wound up! Wind up a business thats paying 35 per cent in the worst years! Not likely. Who told you that?

VIVIE
[
her color quite gone
] Do you mean that it is still –? [
She stops abruptly, and puts her hand on the sundial to support herself. Then she gets quickly to the iron chair and sits down
]. What business are you talking about?

CROFTS
. Well, the fact is it's not what would be considered exactly a high-class business in my set – the county set, you know – our set it will be if you think better of my offer. Not that theres any mystery about it: dont think that. Of course you know by your mother's being in it that it's perfectly straight and honest. Ive known her for many years; and I can say of her that she'd cut off her hands sooner than touch anything that was not what it ought to be. I'll tell you all about it if you like. I dont know whether youve found in travelling how hard it is to find a really comfortable private hotel.

VIVIE
[
sickened, averting her face
] Yes: go on.

CROFTS
. Well, thats all it is. Your mother has a genius for managing such things. Weve got two in Brussels, one in Ostend, one in Vienna, and two in Budapest. Of course there are others besides ourselves in it: but we hold most of the capital; and your mother's indispensable as managing director. Youve noticed, I daresay, that she travels a good deal. But you see you cant mention such things in society. Once let out the word hotel and everybody says you keep a public-house. You wouldnt like people to say that of your mother, would you? Thats why we're so reserved about it. By the way, youll keep it to yourself, wont you? Since its been a secret so long, it had better remain so.

VIVIE
. And this is the business you invite me to join you in?

CROFTS
. Oh no. My wife shant be troubled with business. Youll not be in it more than youve always been.

VIVIE
.
I
always been! What do you mean?

CROFTS
. Only that youve always lived on it. It paid for your education and the dress you have on your back. Dont turn up your nose at business, Miss Vivie; where would your Newnhams and Girtons be without it?

VIVIE
[
rising, almost beside herself
] Take care. I know what this business is.

CROFTS
[
starting, with a suppressed oath
] Who told you?

VIVIE
. Your partner. My mother.

CROFTS
[
black with rage
] The old –

VIVIE
. Just so.

He swallows the epithet and stands for a moment swearing and raging foully to himself. But he knows that his cue is to be sympathetic. He takes refuge in generous indignation
.

CROFTS
. She ought to have had more consideration for you.
I
'd never have told you.

VIVIE
. I think you would probably have told me when we were married: it would have been a convenient weapon to break me in with.

CROFTS
[
quite sincerely
] I never intended that. On my word as a gentleman I didnt.

Vivie wonders at him. Her sense of the irony of his protest cools and braces her. She replies with contemptuous self-possession
.

VIVIE
. It does not matter. I suppose you understand that when we leave here today our acquaintance ceases.

CROFTS
. Why? Is it for helping your mother?

VIVIE
. My mother was a very poor woman who had no reasonable choice but to do as she did. You were a rich gentleman; and you did the same for the sake of 35 per cent. You are a pretty common sort of scoundrel, I think. That is my opinion of you.

CROFTS
[
after a stare: not at all displeased, and much more at his ease on these frank terms than on their former ceremonious ones
] Ha! ha! ha! ha! Go it, little missie, go it; it doesnt hurt me and it amuses you. Why the devil shouldnt I invest my money that way? I take the interest on my capital like other people: I hope you dont think I dirty my own hands with the work. Come! you wouldnt refuse the acquaintance of my mother's cousin the Duke of Belgravia because some of the rents he gets are earned in queer ways. You wouldnt cut the Archbishop of Canterbury, I suppose,
because the Ecclesiastical Commissioners have a few publicans and sinners among their tenants. Do you remember your Crofts scholarship at Newnham? Well, that was founded by my brother the M.P. He gets his 22 per cent out of a factory with 600 girls in it, and not one of them getting wages enough to live on. How d'ye suppose they manage when they have no family to fall back on? Ask your mother. And do you expect me to turn my back on 35 per cent when all the rest are pocketing what they can, like sensible men? No such fool! If youre going to pick and choose your acquaintances on moral principles, youd better clear out of this country, unless you want to cut yourself out of all decent society.