Pleasure's Edge (14 page)

“So, that had to be a few years ago? I’ve just realized I have no idea how old you are.”

“I’m thirty-three. So yes, it’s been a while.”

“And there’s been no one since then?”

“I’ve dated a lot, sometimes the same person for several months. But there’s been nothing more permanent.”

“Why not? I have my reasons. I’m wondering what yours might be.”

He watched her face shutting down. “I’ve never real y thought about it.”

He couldn’t help but prod her. “You write erotica. You write about relationships, as wel as sex. But you’ve never thought about why you avoid them?”

“I didn’t say I avoid them.”

“I can admit it, Dylan.” He shrugged. “I avoid relationships.”

“And I suppose you feel perfectly comfortable explaining why?”

“I love women. I love sex. It’s simply never translated into something I wanted to make more permanent. I haven’t seen any reason to do that. I’m perfectly happy with things the way they are.”

“And that’s gone on for how many years?”

“Wel , I’m thirty-six. I’ve been that way my whole adult life.”

“There must be some reason why.”

“Maybe I don’t care to look any deeper.”

“Yet you seem to require that I do.”

She was real y glaring at him now. He loved to see that fire in her eyes. To know that he could quench it with a few careful y chosen words, by laying his hand on the back of her silken neck.

He’d rather think of that, than the question she’d asked him. He needed to keep in mind that it was
Dylan
who was supposed to be off balance. And he didn’t want to ask himself the questions that had begun to filter through his mind ever since he’d met her.

Questions about whether or not his father’s views on leading a solitary existence were entirely correct, or appropriate for him simply because they shared the same genes. Those questions were far too big to tackle right now.

“Al right, Dylan. Change of subject, for both of us. I realized after our last meal together that you’ve never mentioned your father.” Was it real y a change of subject? Wel , better to talk about her father than his.

“That’s probably because I haven’t seen him since I was six years old.”

“Ah.”

“What do you mean, ‘ah’?”

Oh, she was real y getting worked up. She wasn’t going to like what he was about to say. Not at al .

He shrugged. “Maybe that’s why you avoid relationships.” She turned her head away for a moment, her jaw clenching so hard that he was immediately remorseful for pushing her so hard.

He reached for her hand. “I’m sorry, Dylan. I can see I’ve taken my teasing too far.”

She turned back to him, her face going loose and soft again.

“It’s . . . it’s al right. I know I can be stubborn.”

“Yes, you can.”

“There are certain things in my life, in my past, that are just too personal, Alec. Things I don’t talk about with anyone.”

“With no one?”

“My best friend, Mischa, maybe.”

“It’s good to have a best friend. Someone you can confide in.

Maybe someday you’l feel comfortable tel ing me some of these things.”

“Maybe.”

She smiled a little, and his chest knotted up. He didn’t want to know why. Or why her tel ing him about her life was so damn important to him. But it was.

He’d better watch himself with this woman. Or he’d get in too deep, deeper than he ever meant to go. With anyone. He was not the kind of man who did this, who got attached. When it came to the sex, he was always in control. Anything outside that sphere was too random, too vulnerable to chance, as his father had taught him. Chance had separated his parents, hadn’t it?

Or had it? He was beginning to wonder . . . But this was no time to dwel on his parents’ relationship. Why was his mind wandering so much tonight? What was important was right now, this evening, with Dylan. And right now, it was safer for everyone involved if he maintained his usual distance.

He had to focus, to get back on safer ground, back on task.

Luckily, the task itself was pretty damn good. Irresistible.

“Has your dinner settled, Dylan? Because it’s time we got started.”

“Now?”

“Yes. Now.”

The look on her face was priceless. He could see emotion shifting across her features: confusion, desire, fear, that first edge of subspace. It happened al at once. And he felt it like a kick to the gut, it was so powerful.

His body fil ed with adrenaline. Lust. His cock rising between his thighs. Powerful enough to chase the other thoughts away. The questions. The doubts.

He’d be fine as long as he didn’t think about it, if he just did what he did best.

He watched her bite her lip, that plump red flesh denting under the edge of her white teeth. Beautiful.

She was beautiful. He wanted her so damn badly he could barely stand not to touch her.

But he was about to.

He got to his feet, held her chair for her and helped her stand.

She was trembling the slightest bit beneath his hands. Lovely.

He pul ed her closer, taking in the vanil a scent of her skin, her hair. Leaning in, he whispered in her ear.

“I am going to take you upstairs now, Dylan. And I am going to do al of the things to you I’ve been dreaming of since the last time I had you in my bed. But first I’m going to play you. Are you ready?”

“Yes.” Her voice was a soft whisper, so soft it made him shiver.

He didn’t want to think about what he’d just told her: that he’d been dreaming of her.

But this was no dream. And he was going to have her. He would spank her. He would fuck her tonight. Over and over. And he would be in control as he always was.

In control. As always.

He repeated the words to himself one more time. And tried to ignore the fact that he didn’t quite believe them.

eight

Dylan fol owed Alec up the stairs, his large hand surrounding hers.

There was something about his hold on her, light and warm as it was, that made her feel in some subtle yet physical way that she was under his command.

She would not think about how much her body loved this. How his command made her pulse flutter, her sex heat. She would not recognize the mental struggle stil going on inside her moment by moment. If she thought about it she might put a stop to it.
Would
put a stop to it.

Better to just go with it. To give herself over, as he’d said. To try, anyway. It felt too good to stop. She was in some weird state of denial, she knew. Pretending that this was just about kinky sex.

That it didn’t mean anything more: about her, about the way Alec made her feel.

Yes, it’s just sex. A purely physical response. It doesn’t have to
make sense.

His bedroom was dimly lit by a lamp on the dresser; a halo of golden light pooled there, il uminating the big bed. She could remember the feel of the crisp sheets, of his bare skin next to hers.

Her sex ached with need.

Soon enough.

He turned to her, and standing so close to him she had a real sense of his size, the height and breadth of his big body. She glanced down at the tattoos on his arms. What was it about them that made him seem a little more wicked, a little more sexy?

“Dylan, pay attention.”

He lifted her chin with his hand, holding it just firmly enough to let her know he was there, that he was the one in control. No doubt about it. Not that there ever was, with him.

She realized in some distant way that this was the first man she’d ever met who she felt was more in control than she was.

Maybe that’s what this insane attraction, as wel as her ability to submit to him, was al about.

A surge of fear, of resentment, trembled through her.

Don’t think.

“Dylan, I need you to focus. To be right here with me.” She looked at him, locking on his steady blue gaze. “I’m here.” He narrowed his eyes, assessing her. “Yes, you are now.

Better.”

He dropped his hand, stood back, and she thought he would tel her to strip, as he had the last time. Her heart was a hammer in her chest, a flurry of anticipation and nerves and the effort to keep her mind blank, to resist dissecting what was happening.

Silently, he stepped toward her, and began to undress her.

Slowly, gently, while she shivered under his touch. Her mind was emptying out now; there was nothing she could do about it. She couldn’t remember what she’d been trying so hard to figure out only moments earlier.

He ran his hands over her arm as he slipped her blouse from her shoulders. “Such gorgeous skin. I love the paleness of it. You have a few freckles here . . . like some smal , sweet surprise.” His fingertips skimmed across her shoulder, and pleasure arced through her like an electric current, humming in her veins.

He was only touching her shoulder!

He dropped his hand to help her step out of her high black pumps, then unzipped her slacks, slid them down over her hips.

She was left in nothing but her lacy white underwear and bra.

She was left with nothing but the power of her desire.

“Ah, I love this, that you’d wear such innocent things to see me.

So pretty, the lace against your skin. But these wil have to come off tonight, too.”

She’d expected it. But she stil felt shocked, somehow.

Paralyzed.

“Come on, Dylan. I’ve felt every part of your body already. And it’s an amazing body. You can’t possibly be shy about me seeing it.”

“I’m not.”

“Then what’s this lovely blush about? Not that I mind it. But I’m curious to know.”

“I . . . I just feel a bit . . . breathless. As though I don’t know what to expect, even though I do, to some extent.”

“You have to let that go. The expectations. That’s part of letting go of the control.”

“Yes, I understand that. But I don’t know how to do it.”

“Maybe you need some distraction.”

He smiled at her, a bril iant flash of strong, white teeth. He had no idea what he did to her when he smiled at her. Or maybe he did.

But he was touching her again and she couldn’t think straight.

His hands were running over her arms, then her hips. He slipped them around behind her and cupped her ass, lightly at first, then pul ing her in close. She could feel the solid ridge of his erection against her stomach through the dense denim of his jeans.

Nice.

His breath was hot in her hair, right next to her ear, as he whispered, “Just do it, Dylan. Let it go. Give yourself over to me. I wil take care of you. I promise.”

She knew he would. And something about the rough, low tone of his voice, his hands on her body, made her go loose al over, her limbs melting in the heat, the pure aching need.

She held perfectly stil as his hands came up behind her and unhooked her bra. She felt the soft cotton of his T-shirt as the bra dropped to the floor and he crushed her against his chest. Her nipples hardened immediately.

She moaned softly.

“Ah, that’s it. Good girl.”

She trembled as he said the words that always got to her. Like some sort of aphrodisiac. And when he pushed her lace panties down over her hips, the trembling turned into a hard shiver.

“Come on, step out of them. Yes, that’s it.” She did as he asked, kicking the scrap of white lace aside. He stil held her so close, his hands on her back, she could feel every inch of his body, and it was al hard-packed muscle.

Something strange about being entirely naked with him stil clothed. It made her feel vulnerable. It made her go quiet inside, her head spinning.

His hand slid up to cup the back of her neck, and that one smal motion put her right over the edge. Her mind blanked of al thought, except for the one word she wanted to say to him, over and over.

Yes.

“I can feel it, you know,” he murmured to her. “I can feel you giving yourself over. It’s as though your body is lighter, isn’t it? Your mind quiet. This is exactly how I want you, Dylan, in this space.

And you went into it so easily this time. It’s going to be very good tonight.”

He stood with her, stroking her hair with one hand while the other tightened on the back of her neck until his grasp was almost uncomfortable. But she was sinking further into that quiet place, where everything was a strange silence and calm mixed with this exquisite desire. She was shivering al over with it.

“Please, Alec,” she whispered.

“Please what?”

“Please touch me.”

A smal chuckle from him. “Oh, I wil .”

He wrapped his hand in her hair then, coiling it around his fist, and pul ed her head back. She didn’t try to fight it, even though it hurt a little. Just enough to let her know she was truly in his hands.