Point of No Return (5 page)

Dave shoved his hands into his pockets and moved away from the podium. He walked into the crowd of kids sitting on chairs and on the floor and spoke as if to each one. “What's the catch? you're wondering. He did all that for me, but what's He want in return? Well, I'll tell you….”

Jimmy held on to his chair. Dave was now in the middle of the crowd.

“He wants your
life
,” Dave said in a harsh whisper. “He wants every bit of you: your heart, your mind, your body, your
soul.
And He doesn't want it so He can lock it away somewhere and make you a miserable, boring religious person from now on. He wants it so He can work on it, turn it into something new…and then give it back to you in better shape than it was before.”

Dave turned and scanned the crowd before he spoke again.

“Maybe you think you're too young; this is stuff for grown-ups. It isn't. Even if dying is years and years away for you, the decision to believe in Jesus, to accept Him into your hearts and give Him your lives, begins
right now.
” Dave looked Jimmy square in the eyes. “Jesus wants you
right now.
”

CHAPTER SIX

Late Saturday Night

J
IMMY WAS SURPRISED
by how he felt as the meeting ended. Somehow it had never struck him that Jesus might actually
want
him or that Jesus died
for him.
Yeah, he'd heard those things in Sunday school and church. But for some reason it hadn't hit him until now that Jesus' death and resurrection demanded that he do something in return. Until now, Jesus was always something he could pick or not pick—like an answer on a multiple-choice test. But there He was…wanting Jimmy
right now.

Jimmy thought about it as Dave and Jacob gave him a lift home. Jimmy hoped Dave wouldn't say anything to him or ask him any questions. He was afraid an additional word or question might spoil the whole thing. Maybe they sensed it, too, because neither of them spoke. They drove in silence except for an exchange of “Good night” when Jimmy got out of the car and walked to his front door.

He died for me…. He wants me…. He wants every bit of me. My heart, my mind, my body, my soul. And He doesn't want it so He can lock it away somewhere and make me a miserable, boring religious person from now on. He wants it so He can work on it, turn it into something new…and then give it back to me in better shape than it was before.

Jimmy drifted past the living room. His mom called out from her reading chair. Jimmy peeked in.

“How was it?” she asked.

Jimmy shrugged and said, “Okay, I guess.”

“Not as bad as you thought?”

“I guess not,” he answered. “A bunch of kids I know were there. We played some games and stuff. It was okay.”

Mary smiled. “Good,” she said. “Now do me a favor and go have a bath.”

“A bath!”

“Uh-huh. We have church tomorrow, and after tonight's exercise, I'm sure you need one. Go on,” she insisted.

“Okay,” Jimmy said and went up the stairs.

Donna came out of the bathroom just as he reached the door. “What happened to you?” she asked.

“What do you mean?” Jimmy said.

“You look like something's wrong.”

“I'm gonna have a bath,” he answered.

“Oh. That must be it.” She giggled and strode to her room.

Jimmy went into the bathroom, turned on the water, and stripped down. He thought about God putting on skin, hair, and muscles so He could be like us…so He could die like us…for us.
For me.

The words wouldn't leave Jimmy alone. The were like rubber bands, so that no matter what his mind wandered to in the warm cocoon of the bathwater, it snapped back to those words.
For me. And He wants me right now.

Jimmy absentmindedly scrubbed himself, then pulled the plug at the bottom of the tub. The water gurgled and gulped. He stepped out of the tub.
What if I said yes?
he wondered as he dried himself off.
What would happen if I said He could have me right now?

His heart beat a little faster at the thought. Would angels sing? Would he hear God whisper in his ear? Would lightning strike the house? What would happen?

Jimmy wrapped the towel around himself, strolled toward his room—got halfway there when he remembered he had left his clothes on the bathroom floor and went back to get them—then resumed his journey.
Jesus wants me right now. What if I say yes?

Say yes.

In his room, Jimmy looked around for the small, black Bible his grandmother had given him for his birthday a couple of years before. It had his name in gold letters at the bottom of the front cover. What had he done with it? He got down on his hands and knees to look under the bed. Was that it in the far corner? He got up and rounded the bed, kneeling once again to get the Bible. But it wasn't there. Nothing was there.
It must've been a shadow
, Jimmy thought.

He stayed on his knees. Quietly, without fanfare or announcement, the yes slipped from his head to his heart. It happened in the fraction of a second while Donna's muffled radio played on the other side of the wall, his mother coughed once downstairs in the living room, and the night was otherwise silent enough for him to hear the pounding in his chest and the blood rushing past his ears.
Yes.
He pressed his head against the side of the bed.
You died for me, and I'm sorry, and now You want me—all of me—and I'm saying yes.

Jimmy opened his eyes and stood up. That was that. It was done. He looked around, but there was no flash of lightning, no supernatural appearance, no voices. He didn't even feel any different. It didn't matter. He wasn't disappointed. He had said yes.

He went downstairs and didn't say a word about it to his mom. Instead, he talked her into letting him have a small glass of chocolate milk before he went to bed.

It seemed so simple. And as he went to sleep, he thought about how everything would get better. Jesus would take his life, fix it up, and hand it back. All Jimmy had to do was watch it happen.

Jimmy had no idea what he'd gotten himself into.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Sunday Morning

W
ITH BLEARY EYES
, fluffy bathrobe, and worn slippers, Mary Barclay walked into the kitchen to make coffee. She yawned as she passed the kitchen table where Jimmy sat. She nodded at him and turned to plug in the coffeemaker. Her hand, holding the plug, stopped in midair as the vision of what she had just seen registered on her sleepy brain. She swung on her heel to face the table again.

Jimmy sat at the table in his church outfit—washed and ready to go.

Mary's mouth fell open.

Donna walked into the kitchen in the same state of early morning disrepair as her mother and also gasped when she saw Jimmy. “You…you're up,” Donna said.

“Uh-huh,” Jimmy said.

“You're dressed and ready to go to church,” Jimmy's mom said.

“Uh-huh,” Jimmy said.

“He doesn't have a fever,” Mary told Donna.

“Then what's wrong with him?” Donna asked.

“I don't know,” Mary said, then looked at Jimmy. “What's wrong with you?”

Jimmy smiled and said, “What makes you think something's wrong?”

“Because we usually have to drag you out of bed kicking and screaming to go to church, that's what,” Donna said.

“Really? That's terrible. I'll have to work on that,” Jimmy said. “Mom? Are you gonna plug in the coffeemaker or stand there with it in your hand for the rest of the morning?”

Mary looked at the plug in her hand, then turned to plug it in.

“Okay, what's going on?” Donna demanded with her hands on her hips.

“If you hang around asking me questions, we're all gonna be late for church,” Jimmy said.

“But—”

“He's right, Donna,” Mary interrupted. “I don't want to spoil whatever's gotten into him by asking a lot of questions. Let's just…make the most of it.”

The routine to get ready for church continued as usual—except that this time Jimmy was the one waiting for everyone else. He didn't tell them what had happened the night before. Not yet. He wanted to relish their surprise and curiosity at his mysterious behavior.

Jimmy walked to his Sunday school class as if it were his first time there. Rather than drag himself down the hall with a scowl on his face as he normally did, he walked quickly, taking in all the sights with a nervous anticipation.
What
he anticipated, he didn't know. But it was the first Sunday he was in church after he had said yes, and everything seemed new to him. He felt as if it were the first day of school. He felt like a stranger, even though he'd been there week after week since he was seven years old. He felt that way not because no one knew him, but because he didn't really know them. All the kids moving to and from their Sunday school classes from various assemblies, clutching their Bibles and lesson books, looked as if he'd never seen them before. No longer were they Sunday school zombies as he had always thought of them. Now—
now
they were alive because Jimmy was alive. And he was alive because he had said yes.

Jimmy's wide-eyed reverie was suddenly interrupted by someone grabbing his arm. “Whoa! Where're you going in such a hurry?” Dave Wright asked.

Jimmy was too startled to answer right away.

Dave took a step back and looked him over. “Something's happened,” he said. “You look different. This isn't the frowning, I-don't-want-to-be-here Jimmy Barclay I'm used to seeing on Sundays. What's going on?”

Jimmy smiled awkwardly. His heart picked up a few beats as he tried to say the words. If anybody should hear first, it was Dave. But how could he say it?

“Well?”

Jimmy nodded. “You said Jesus wanted me, and I said yes—He can have me.”

Dave's face instantly lit up. “Jimmy! Are you serious? You really accepted Jesus?”

Jimmy smiled and said, “Yeah!”

“Yahoo!” Dave shouted, scooping Jimmy up in his arms. It wasn't what Jimmy expected, and he was a little embarrassed when everyone in the hall stopped to look. “Praise God!”

“Hey! Cut it out!” Jimmy said.

Dave put Jimmy down. “Jimmy, that's
wonderful
! Wonderful!” And he grabbed Jimmy again for a bone-crushing hug.

“Lay off!” Jimmy said.

“Sorry.” Dave let him go. “I'm a tactile person.”

“I hope it isn't catching.”

“It means I'm a huggy kind of person,” Dave said with a laugh.

“I hope that isn't catching either,” Jimmy said.

A bell rang.

“We're late for Sunday school,” Dave said, moving away. “You go on and I'll…invite myself over to your house for Sunday dinner or something so we can talk about it. See you in church!” He gave Jimmy a thumbs-up and smiled before he disappeared down the hall.

Just like Sunday school, the church service took on a whole new meaning for Jimmy. The hymns, the Bible readings, and the prayers all seemed created just for him. The pastor's sermon still made him fidget and want to doodle on the offering envelopes, but besides that, he
liked
it. For the first time, he
really liked it.

During the final hymn, Jimmy leaned over to his mother. “Mom?”

She continued to sing while she leaned her ear toward Jimmy.

“Mom,” Jimmy began. He wanted to say it just right, so he used the phrase Dave used earlier. “I accepted Jesus last night.”

Mary sang another few words, then the hymnbook in her hand slumped a little. She closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them again to look at Jimmy, they were tear-filled. She pulled him close with her free hand. It wasn't enough. She laid the hymnbook on the pew and embraced him long and hard with both arms. Jimmy wasn't as embarrassed as he was with Dave. This hug was all right.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Donna stare at them as if they'd lost their minds.