Poison Me Sweetly (14 page)

Death can't have him. I won't let it take him.

We're careening down the road, and Micah is oblivious
to the battle going on next to him as he drives his car. The black vaporous
thing is shrouding the entire front of the car, its skeletal fingers reaching
through the vapor to take the wheel from Micah's capable hands.

“NO!” I scream as I try to fight the swirling black
mass. My hands reach through it, and I can't stop it. “Micah! Stop the car!” I
beg. He ignores me as if he can't hear me. He drives through the night, eyes
focused on the road.

“No, no, no...” The turn is coming. “Take me,” I beg
to death. It turns, and I see a dark face appear through the black mist. Red
eyes glow at me. “Take me instead,” I whisper. “You can have me. I'll take his
place.”

The thing tilts its head almost quizzically at me.

“Take me,” I repeat.

Red eyes fade, and that skeletal hand hovers over the
wheel as the car comes upon the deer. Everything is in slow motion as I live
through the accident again. The quick jerk of the skeletal hand forcing Micah's
hand to turn the wheel has his side of the car crushing on impact.

I scream as the metal piece of the hood plunges into
my brother's skull, and his blood splatters all over the car and me.

Death laughs cruelly at me.

I'm not hurt, and I lunge at the vapor. “I HATE YOU!”
I scream with anguish and rage.

“Zoey!”

Death has grown solid. He pins my arms, and I fight to
free myself. I need to make him suffer like he's made me suffer these past
three years. Triumph is fleeting as my fists rein down on solid muscle. A
second later, I'm firmly pinned down, and I scream out my fury.

“Zoey! For God's sake, wake the fuck up!”

I squirm and buck, wanting to unleash everything I
feel at that skeletal vapor that took my brother from me.

“Hey, Sparky. It's time to wake up.” The calm accented
voice breaks into the haze that has fogged my mind, and my movements still.

“You got through. Keep talking, bring her out of it.”

“Time to join the real world again, Sparky. Open your
eyes and look around.” It's Caleb.

The nightmare slowly begins to recede, and I open my eyes.
Caleb is hovering over me, his hands pinning my wrists above my head while his
blue gaze back at me calmly. I blink and look around. I'm pressed flat onto the
couch, because Caleb is sitting on me. Ace stands above him, peering at me
worriedly while Jeremy sits near the couch, blood running down his chin from a
split lip.

Blood.

I can still taste Micah's blood in the air. My stomach
heaves, and I buck underneath Caleb, trying to get him off me. “I'm going be
sick!” I say thickly as I feel the acid in my stomach thickening and churning.
He releases me, and I take off for the bathroom as fast as my feet can carry
me. I make it to the toilet just in time, and everything I'd eaten from dinner
spews out of my mouth as I violently vomit. I hear voices but ignore them as I
continue to heave. Hands touch my back while someone holds my hair away from my
face.

I can still taste his blood.

A sob escapes me as I shove away from the toilet. I
wrap my arms around my drawn up knees as I huddle in a ball. I can't get the
image out of my mind. All I see is his beautiful face broken by metal. The
blood...

Arms come around me, and I jerk away as if I've been
burned.

“Z, it's okay. Let me help.”

“Go away!” I say tightly as my body begins to tremble.

“Can't do that, sweetie. Let me in. Open your eyes,
look at me.” Ace is touching me again, and I can't handle it. I don't want his
comfort. I don't want anything from anyone. I shove at him with my feet,
effectively pushing him away from me as my eyes open and glare at him.

“What the hell is going on here?” Caleb demands. My
eyes lift, and I see that both he and Jeremy are in the bathroom, hovering
above me. His eyes are staring at me with troubled confusion.

“I want you all to go away,” I say flatly as I drop my
head back down to my knees, trying to hide from their prying eyes. I don't want
them to see me like this. Ironically enough, I'm now desperate for the
numbness.
It's
right there, ready to drown me in my
sorrow. Its torturous embrace will save me from their suffocating presence.

“Is this a common occurrence?” I hear Caleb ask
incredulously.

“Unfortunately, yes. It's getting worse. We used to be
able to bring her out of these episodes, but lately she just...retreats into
herself. She doesn't want our help. She'll just sit there, eyes vacant until
she drifts off to sleep. Then, in the morning, she detaches herself from us.
She’ll completely ignores us if we're in the same room and mentally shut out
everything and everyone. We don't know how to help anymore,” Ace says with frustration.

A hint of shame sweeps through me at Ace's confession
to Caleb. I just want to disappear, because I can’t stop the devastating
effects the nightmare is having on me. My shaking has eased, and I feel that
familiar drifting feeling taking over. Cold water is dumped on my head,
startling me. I sputter as my hands reflexively come up to wipe my wet face.

“You use water to pull her out of the episode. Move
back so I can get to her,” Caleb orders. Warm hands suddenly frame my face.
“Look at me, Zoey.” My wet lashes lift. The look on his face has my emotional
pain easing. There is no pity, worry, or fear in his eyes.  All I see is
self-assuredness. Caleb’s in full control mode. “How are you feeling?” he asks.

“You threw water at me.”

His lip quirks. “I did. I'd rather get you wet a
different way, but tonight this'll do.”

My eyebrows furrow. “I thought we were platonic.”

“We are. Doesn't mean I can't remember how good it was
or how you felt.”

Jeremy mutters something under his breath, and I look up
to see that he's walking out of the bathroom.

My chin is captured in a firm hand, and Caleb's in my
face again. “See me? I'm the only one that matters at the moment. You hungry?”

Hungry?
I
just had the worst nightmare on earth, and he wants to know if I'm hungry? I'm
conscious of Ace still hovering, watching our exchange intently. I lick my
lips, and I can still taste the vomit. I can't help but grimace.

“Mouthwash?” Caleb asks Ace.

A second later, a bottle of green minty mouthwash is
pressed into my hand. I unscrew the top, and take a drink, swishing it in my
mouth before I move on my knees to the toilet so I can spit it out. “Thanks,” I
murmur. It dawns on me that the darkness is gone. Caleb chased it away by
distracting me, and now I just feel drained.

Caleb studies me intently. “Better?”

My lips press together tightly, and I stare at him for
a second before nodding.

“It's late. Ready to get some sleep? I'll stay with
you and make sure the nightmares don't come back. Can I do that for you
tonight?” he asks as he watches me and waits.

“I'm not a child,” I mumble.

“Trust me, Sparky, I don't see you as a child.
However, what I do see is a young woman that just went through her own bout of
hell, and I'm betting you could use some comfort.”

“Take my room. I'll crash on the couch,” Ace says
quietly.

“You hear that? We get the kink room. Won't that be
fun?”

My mouth falls open. “I... You...”

“I'm just
teasin
'. Up and at
'
em
, Sparky. Time to get some sleep,” he tells me,
rising to his feet with one hand held out.

Caleb's presence during an episode throws me for a
loop. He doesn't seem fazed at all by my craziness. His eyes tell me he's going
to deal with me and it. It's his take charge attitude that has me reaching for
his hand, allowing him to help me rise to my feet.

Caleb looks at Ace. “We'll talk tomorrow.”

“I'd like to go back to my place. Alone,” I say to
them, still conscious of Caleb’s hand in mine. I try to tug my hand from his,
but his grip is firm. Tomorrow I am going to be completely humiliated by tonight’s
turn of events. Better to end it now than make things worse.

My announcement earns me a dismissive look from Caleb.
“Not happening.”

I grimace. “You have no idea what kinds of STD's we
might pick up from Ace's bed sheets.”

Ace barks out a laugh, relief easing across his
features. “Thank the fuck she's back. And she's all yours,” he says, clapping
Caleb on the shoulder before he exits the bathroom, leaving me all alone with
Caleb.

“You look ready to drop. Let's go,” he says, urging me
to leave the bathroom. I can’t help but hesitate. “Platonic, remember?” he
reminds me.  “Nothing is going to happen.”

It's as if I have no will power to resist this man. I
find myself being led to Ace's bedroom, and before I can say anything, Caleb
has me on the bed and he's spooning me from behind, still fully clothed. The
tension leaves my body, and my eyelids feel heavy. “Caleb?”

“
Hm
?”

“I'm not talking about any of this with you tomorrow,”
I mumble as his heat penetrates through my clothes and into my skin.

“That's fine.”

“I'm not talking about it with you. Ever.”

“Okay.”

“That's it?” I ask with confusion.

“That's it. Go to sleep, Sparky.”

Alex's warm hands graze my skin along my ribs as he
eases my shirt off. I smile seductively at him as anticipation swirls within my
belly. We just began having sex last week, and it’s good between us. Really,
really good. His lips come back down to mine, and I wrap my legs around his
waist as we kiss deeply. One of his hands slides up my ribcage, and then behind
my back to deftly unsnap my bra. He gently pulls it off, and somewhere in the
back of my mind, I know it should bother me just how experienced he is, but I
shake it off.

As he presses me into my bed, I savor every touch,
every caress. The feel of his heated skin against mine is exquisitely sensual.
My hands slide down to the waist of his jeans, and I tug at the button.

My bedroom door opens. “Zoey, do you—oh, shit.”

Both Alex and I tense as Micah's voice interrupts us.
Alex groans and drops his forehead down to the curve of my neck. I peer over
Alex's shoulder and glare at Micah. “Go away!”

Emotions flicker over his face before he clears his
throat awkwardly. “I think it's time for Alex to leave.”

I stare at him with dismay. “You can't be serious!”

“He's serious, and I respect it,” Alex murmurs as he
reaches over and grabs the edge of my blanket, pushing it against my breasts as
he eases away from me.

I clutch the fabric to my nakedness as I sit up. Alex
rises from the bed, and he grabs his shirt off the floor and slips it on. He glances
at me, his blue eyes slightly amused and apologetic. “Text me later.”

I nod and watch as he nods respectively to Micah
before walking out of the room and leaving.

Micah runs a weary hand through his dark hair. “Put
something on.”

My eyebrow arches. “Oh? Does my state of undress
bother you? Good! You had no business just walking right in, Micah!”

“Yeah, well, I wasn't expecting you to be with Alex,
about to have sex. Zoey, you guys have only been together for what—five weeks?”

“So!”

He walks into my room and motions to the bed. “May I?”

“Oh, so now you remember your manners?”

“Quit being a bitch. I'm doing my brotherly duty, so
suck it up and deal.” He sits down, and his dark brown eyes turn serious. “You
gave him your virginity.”

“Well, duh! Hello? Half naked here,” I retort.

Micah's mouth twists into a crooked smile. “I pity the
man you marry. I wouldn't take on a woman with your sarcasm for anything.”

I hear Alex's truck start up outside, and I sigh with
disappointment over how the afternoon has turned out. “Are you going to talk to
me about safe sex, Micah? If so, don't bother. I'm not stupid.”

“Nah. It's not that. It's just...” He studies me. “He
pressure you?”

“No, of course not. We both wanted it.”

“You should have waited, Zoey. Make sure Alex is the
right one to give something so special to, you know?”

“He is the right one,” I insist.

“Okay. I hope so. And if he's not...just because
you've had sex once, doesn't mean you have to put out with every guy you date,
you hear me?” His eyes hold mine. “No one gets that part of you unless they've
earned it and have shown you they are worthy of it.”

A snort escapes me. “When did you become such a
romantic?”

He smiles. “Love does that sometimes. Ash is... I
really like her. A lot,” he admits.

My eyes slowly open as I wake up, and the dream fades
away with the last tendrils of sleep. There's a deep ache within the depths of
my soul, but instead of curling up and giving into the agony, I try to hold on
to the dream. I don't know why my subconscious picked that memory, but I slowly
draw in a breath and wish fervently for a way to go back in time. I'd been so
flippant that day, but Micah had simply wanted to tell me that everything we
have, like one's body, is important when you choose to share it with someone.

A lump builds in my throat as I think of all the men
I've slept with. All the meaningless sex that left me feeling hollow the
following morning. Micah would be so disappointed in me.
It's
dreams like these, usually when I wake in the morning, that leave me
floundering between misery and longing for reflections of the past. The dreams
are like a double-sided blade. No matter which way you look at it, it hurts.
Hurts to remember the good times, because there are no more of them...but yet I
crave them sometimes. The knowledge that he'd loved me... Loved me enough that
he'd given his life to save mine. Bitterness sweeps through me, and I fight
back a soft sob.

There's movement behind me, and I stiffen up as I
realize I'm not alone. Last night comes rushing back to me. The dream is wiped
from my mind as I struggle with the knowledge that I'd lost it in front of not
only Ace and Jeremy, but Caleb as well.

His body is still pressed against my back, his warm
hand on my hip. “Want to talk?” he asks softly.

“What do you think?” I ask, my voice slightly raspy
from sleep.

“Alright.” He carefully eases away from me, and I sit
up, putting a hand to my aching head. The events from last night have given me
a lovely headache this morning. I refuse to look at Caleb as I process where I
am and how I'd ended up in Ace's room of all places. The need for distance is
overpowering. I don't want to talk to any of them. I just want to be alone and
deal with my stupid shit on my own.

With that last thought in mind, I rise to my feet and walk
straight out of the bedroom without sparing a glance back at Caleb. As I come
upon the living room, I catch sight of Ace asleep on the couch. My bare feet
falter, and I grimace slightly.

He's sprawled on his back, one arm flung over his head
while the other rests on his bare stomach. A sheet covers him from the hips
down, but his bare feet stick out over the end of the couch. He doesn't look
all that comfortable. I feel momentarily guilty for taking his bed while he
slept out here.

Movement behind me has me tensing. Time to get a move
on. Without a word to whoever entered the room—likely Caleb—I walk to the
apartment door and open it as quietly as possible. When I turn to shut the door
behind me, I look up and see Ace stirring on the couch, and Caleb is standing
in the living room doorway, his eyes on me as he watches me leave.

I shut the door firmly and exhale slowly.

I have the uneasy feeling that I'm developing
something with Caleb. I’m not sure what it is, but it scares me like nothing
else has in the past three years.