Porn Star (23 page)

“What’s your plan b?” Cassidy asked like a
bitch.

“I don’t have a plan b, what’s your plan be
porn star?” Dennis snapped back.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You think you’re so smart, you figure it
out.”

“Are you making fun of my profession?”

“You call that a profession?” Dennis asked
with one eyebrow raised. “A doctor, a lawyer, a chef, those are
professions, what you do is have sex. You don’t have to train a dog
to have sex, most animals can do it.”

“Are you saying because I don’t have a degree
that what I do isn’t professional?”

“No, what I am saying is that because any
monkey in a zoo can do it, it’s not a profession.”

Cassidy put her hands on her hips and gave
Dennis a stern look with her one tooth missing. “How much did you
make last year?” she asked.

“About twenty two thousand dollars,” Dennis
replied.

“I made that my first three months,” Cassidy
replied. “And that was part time.”

“I’m sure there are drug dealers out there
that make a lot of money as well, they aren’t what I consider
professional. You are legally one step above prostitution.”

“I’m not going to haggle with you over what
you think is professional or not. I make a legal living and I do it
very well.”

Dennis shook his head in disagreement but
decided not to continue the argument. “We need to leave and we are
going to have to do it on foot.”

“Fine,” Cassidy said and waited for Dennis to
dismount.

Once back on the ground, both Dennis and
Cassidy surveyed the ever growing king’s army and watched them get
lined up to defend themselves against the alien ship. From their
vantage point they could see the ship hovering above motionless as
dust filled the air from the troop movements below.

“I sort of want to watch this,” Dennis said
shielding the sun from his eyes.

“I do too, but what if that ship drops a
nuclear bomb or something? We could be killed just as easy as
them.”

“Good point,” Dennis replied. “We would need
to get about ten miles away to keep the blast from killing us.”

“Wait, look!” Cassidy said pointing to the
ship.

Hovering above the army, the huge silver ship
opened up like a clam and little silver ships shot out like
insects. The small ships spun around and darted like flies on shit
flying around the army below.

“What are they doing?” Cassidy asked.

“I don’t know, but I think their fucked,”
Dennis replied.

Then smoke began to rise from the field below
and fire shot in all directions along with soldiers who flew
through the air like they were shot out of a circus cannon. Over
and over the army below was shot up and torn to pieces by the small
craft that spun around them taking shots. It was like shooting fish
in a barrel.

“How long do you want to watch?” Cassidy
asked.

“I think I’ve seen enough,” Dennis said and
turned to leave. It was then he saw the tall man standing by the
horse watching them. He wasn’t dressed like he was medieval, he was
dressed like a Nazi from World War II.

“Who the fuck are you?” Dennis asked the
stranger.

“I was going to ask the same thing,” the man
said with a thick German accent.

“We were just leaving,” Dennis said and
turned back realizing he had nowhere to go, he was pinned between
this man and the destruction behind him.

“Where are you going?” the man asked.

“Actually, I don’t know anymore. I seem to be
stuck.”

“I can offer you a ride,” the man said.

“Who are you?” Dennis asked.

The stranger stepped forward in his military
uniform and held out his hand to Dennis. “My name is Guntar, and
yours?”

“Dennis shook Guntar’s hand and replied,
“Dennis, that this is my friend Cassidy.”

“Glad to meet you Dennis and Cassidy. Where
would you like to go?” Guntar asked.

“Actually, South Dakota would be nice right
now,” Dennis replied with a smile.

“South Dakota?” Guntar asked with a quizzical
look on his face. “What is a South Dakota?”

“Ever see “Dances with Wolves?” Dennis
asked.

“No, sorry.”

“It’s a state, just below North Dakota, north
of Nebraska.”

“I can take you as far as the next town, but
South Dakota is too far for me to go.”

Dennis looked at Cassidy and both looked at
Guntar. “Do you have a car?” Dennis asked looking around. All he
saw was the horse that didn’t budge.

“I have transportation,” Guntar replied.

Dennis felt that was a defensive answer and
purposely vague. “What? A skateboard? a helicopter? I don’t see
anything here. Fuck, I didn’t even see you get here.”

“I can take you, which is not a problem.”

“It is if I don’t know how you plan to do
it,” Dennis snapped back getting a little perturbed.

“Follow me,” Guntar said waving the two
towards him. “I will show you.”

Hesitantly, Dennis and Cassidy followed
Guntar around the horse and into the woods.

“I have a really bad feeling about this,”
Cassidy said. “I don’t think I want to go any further.”

Guntar turned around and smiled at Cassidy
like a kindly old man in a candy store. “I assure you there will be
no problem, but you must follow me first.”

“Why in there?” she asked pointing to the
woods.

“If you don’t want me to help that is fine,
there are plenty of bandits around here who would skin you for your
hide to sell.”

“Maybe you’re one of them,” Cassidy said.
“You are dressed like a Nazi. Are you a Nazi?” she asked.

“This uniform? This is something I found. I
have no idea what a Nazi is.” Guntar replied.

“And that accent? Where are you from?”
Cassidy asked.

“You ask a lot of questions?”

“Yeah, and I’m still alive to ask them. I’m
not stupid and I’m not going into those woods with a stranger. You
might have a group in there waiting to kill us.”

Guntar held up his arms in frustration. “I
cannot help you if you choose not to let me help. I am sorry, you
can find your own path.”

“We will,” Cassidy said and took Dennis by
the arm away from Guntar. Instead of heading straight back towards
the carnage on the battlefield, she took Dennis to the right and
skirted around the edge of the woods keeping the open area
available in case they had to run. Cassidy tried to fake a smile as
they left and headed away trying to find a path. There was none,
they had to walk through the tall grass and make their own. This
was not an area that was well traveled and with the woods on the
right, it was hard to see where they were going. There was no
chance that they were heading in any better direction than they had
already been going. Maybe Guntar was only trying to help, but
Cassidy felt better doing this on her own.

“Do you think it’s odd we met a guy dressed
in a Nazi uniform out here?” Cassidy asked.

“I think it’s odd that space aliens are
fighting a medieval army,” Dennis replied. “And that the queen
could talk with her head cut off? And most of our trip has been
pretty strange as well. I’m sure whatever is up ahead is going to
be just as odd.”

Then they heard a scream from the tall grass
below under their feet. “Get off me!” the voice yelled.

Dennis and Cassidy both spread the grass
apart looking for whatever or whoever

yelled at them. “Who are you? Where are you?”
Dennis yelled searching the grass.

“Over here!” the voice yelled shaking the
grass back and forth.

Dennis stepped over to where the grass was
moving and spread the grass apart looking down at some sort of
small creature, about the size of large penguin, looking back up at
him. “Sorry,” Dennis said. “Didn’t see you down there.”

“Yeah, I know, happens all the time,” the
creature replied.

“Why are you walking in this tall grass?”
Dennis asked. “You’re bound to get stepped on out here.”

“If you haven’t noticed, there are Nazi’s all
around here, this is the best place to hide.”

“You mean there are more than one of them out
here?” Dennis asked.

“The woods are full of them, they grow like
weeds. Did you run into them?”

“We spoke to one, he said he wasn’t a Nazi,
he said he found the uniform.”

“Don’t believe everything you hear. What else
did he say to you?” the creature asked.

“He offered us a ride, said we should follow
him into the woods,” Dennis replied.

“What did he do when you turned him
down?”

“Nothing, he’s still back there I think.”

“Fuck, you need to get moving,” the creature
said. “If they know you two are out here alone, they will be on
your ass like flies on shit.”

“I knew something was wrong,” Cassidy spoke
up.

“Who are you?” the creature asked.

“I’m Cassidy Rayne, porn star,” she replied
with pride.

“Ever been in any DVD’s?” the creature
asked.

“Over three hundred,” Cassidy replied.

“Shit, I don’t have a DVD player, can I see
you naked?”

“Fifty bucks,” Cassidy replied.

“Fuck, all I have is a five. What can I get
for five bucks?” the creature asked.

“I can show you a nipple,” she replied.

Eager to see a nipple, the creature dug out
all the change he had in his pocket and counted. It was less than a
dollar in coins. “What can I get for thirty five cents?” the
creature asked.

Cassidy pretended to ignore the creature, but
her desire to show off overcame her and she pulled down her shirt
exposing both huge breasts. She gave them a little wiggle and put
them back in her bra.

“That was fucking awesome,” the creature said
holding out the change.

Cassidy took the change and put it in her
pants pocket. “So we need to get out of here?” she asked.

“Yes, as soon as possible, you need to head
away from the woods,” the creature replied.

“We’re trying to go around the woods,”
Cassidy replied.

“Not good enough, you need to be heading in
the opposite direction.”

“We just came from the opposite direction and
it’s no better. Our only choice is to head away from both and try
to keep our distance.”

The creature couldn’t see over the tall grass
and watch the battle between the space ships and the medieval army,
so it had no idea why they couldn’t head back. “Do what you want,
don’t say I didn’t warn you!”

“We’ll take your advice and stay as far away
from the woods as we can, but we can’t go back so we have to
compromise,” Dennis said getting frustrated.

“You want me to go with you?” the creature
asked.

“I don’t know what or who you are, why would
I want you to go with us? Maybe you’re the one we should be
steering clear of. At this point, I don’t trust anyone, so we will
have to decline your offer.”

“Offer? I just wanted to tag along until the
Nazis get you. They put on a hell of a show. Evil sons of
bitches.”

“What makes you so sure they will get us?”
Dennis asked.

“Well, for one thing, they are about fifty
feet behind you and heading this way,” the creature replied.

Both Dennis and Cassidy turned around and saw
a group of about ten men in uniform tromping through the tall grass
heading their way. They were carrying rifles and had a dog with
them. “Fuck,” Dennis said.

Cassidy and Dennis sat across the table from
a very important man, at least he looked very important. He was
dressed from top to bottom in black leather, black knee high boots
and a riding crop. He also had an eye patch over his left eye and
wore some sort of military insignia that neither Cassidy nor Dennis
understood. He leaned over his desk and looked Cassidy over with
his good eye. He said nothing. Then he leaned back and reached into
his side desk drawer and pulled out a stack of DVD’s and a sharpie.
With a thick German accent he said, “You will autograph these DVD’s
for me, now.” He didn’t shout, he didn’t even really sound angry,
but his English was iffy enough that he came off gruff.

Cassidy pulled the DVD’s closer, sliding them
across the table and picked up a few. She took a look at the first
one and spun it around so this man could see the cover.

“That’s not me,” she said setting the DVD
back on the table, she did the same for the next one as well. The
third DVD she recognized and said, “Now this one is me, it’s from
that shit hole studio in south L.A., but at least it’s me. Where
did you get these other ones? This girl doesn’t even look like me,
she’s fat.”

The man spun the DVD she was talking about
around and picked it up and looked at it. “My wife said this was
you, she ordered it off the internet.”

“Your wife is either blind or pulling some
shit on you. This ain’t me. I’ve been in porn for eight years and I
can’t tell you who this chick is.”

“It says Cassidy Rayne right on the box,” the
man said.

“It was also probably printed in China. I
have no control what people do in China,” Cassidy replied.

“I see,” the man said. “I have a whole box of
DVD’s with your name on them. I want you to go through them and
pick out the ones that are fake. The others I want you to
sign.”

Cassidy started at this guy in his one good
eye and gave him a look of disgust. “Who the fuck are you?” she
asked.

“I am Colonel Von Schlinkman, the commander
of this camp,” he replied coldly.

Dennis chose this time to chime in. “May I
ask, what are Nazis doing holding up in the woods? World War II was
seventy years ago. You guys don’t exist anymore.”