Power of the Pen (14 page)

Son of a bitch!

Zach:

Of all the evil villains to see in the store, it would be fucking Cruella De Ville.

“What the fuck? Are you drunk at 9:00 in the morning?” I barked at her.

“So,” she snapped. “It’s none of your fucking business anymore,” she wobbled. “That’s not your new plaything, is it? That’s yours?”

Rubbing my hand down my face, I said, “Yes, now get the fuck outta here and sober up.”

I hailed down a taxi, as they always idled near the grocery stores. Yasmine was mumbling something under her breath, but I was more focused on getting her ass away from me.

“Wherever she needs to go,” I gave the driver three twenties.

“Thanks man.” He held his fist up.

I turned around to see Lauren right behind me with the most disappointed look I’d ever seen. She wasn’t angry, she didn’t even look mad. She was hurt.

Fuck
.

“Are you Z. Hays?” She asked calmly.

“Lauren--”

She cut me off. “Just answer the question. Yes or no. Are you Z. Hays?” She said in the same tone.

“Yes,” I sighed.

“And you knew I was MzJames?” She was somber.

“Yes, that day your blog and my page were up.”

She raised her hand to signal a cab.

“Lauren, I’ll take you home.” I tried to step to her, but she moved to the side.

“Oh no, you won’t. I don’t even know who the fuck you are.” She looked at me like a stranger.

I couldn’t take that.

“Lauren, please don’t do this.” I took a step and she took another away from me.

“I didn’t do this Zach or whatever your name is. You did this.” She was shaking her head. “Y-you k-knew--” Her voice was breaking, as my heart was crumbling to ashes.

The taxi pulled up and she quickly got in and closed the door. Any attempt to stop her would have caused a scene, and between Yasmine and Lauren, I would be in a jail cell before the night was over.  Before I realized it, both of my hands were fisting my hair, and I was growling like Wolverine in front of the goddamn Food Lion.

******

Lauren:

My Zach was Z. Hays- the man that I loved to hate; the man that probably even put my blog on the map because of my scathing reviews. One in the same man was the man I had been sharing a bed with for the past few weeks. He was going fishing with my family this weekend, and I had been worried sick about him for the past three days. He was one in the same person, but I was the last to know.

By the time I got home, the only thing I could do was write. I turned off my lights, powered off my phone, and wrote until I could write no more. I didn’t know what to feel, didn’t know what to think, and didn’t know how to proceed. I trusted him, almost unconsciously, and definitely irresponsibly. He had wiggled his way into my heart, into my, and now my soul; and I felt that he was a stranger that had stolen that.

By the time I finished writing, there were 15,000 words on the screen, and I was starving. This was no blog post, but it was the beginning work of a short story.

******

Over the next few weeks, I delved into work. Becky helped me to book and secure literary events at local signings and readings on the Eastern Coast. I was able to get a signed copy of the famous Authoress Patti Doss’ book,
Somebody Else’s Husband I
. At the same event, Authoress Amarie Avant was present and she signed my copy of
Fear
. In the second week, I got to hear readings from the great interracial Authoress S.K. Lessly as she read from
Addicted
. And just last week, the duo writing couple Mel Black and Christopher Bynum signed
CockTails
and
The Professional
, respectively.

This week, I planned to get my signed copy of
Getting Over Kyle
by Arlisha Myrie,
Damaged
by S. Diggs,
Revolving Doors
by Perri Forrest, and
A Storm is Coming
by LaShawn Vasser. They were all going to be at the D.C. Writer’s expo.

Becky was more than a life saver because she let me have my crying sessions, kept the work going, and was able to organize my life even when it was falling apart. Gab tried to help and even brought over her hottie as I peppered him with questions of would he ever do something like that. Why would he do that? What is wrong with men? He was a kind and patient man because he answered every question, but what stayed with me the most was this:

You seem so adamant in your beliefs about what he writes, but what would you have said if he told you up front? You wouldn’t have given him the time of day. He tried to let it go, let you go. He left, but then he couldn’t, so that tells me he made a decision that he’d rather be with you in any capacity than not at all. Even if it were for a short while and even if it were the only way you could stomach him.

I had way too much to drink, but that was starting to make sense.

What would I have done?  Probably kicked him out of my house immediately.

Damn.

My brothers hadn’t said anything about him, so I didn’t say anything either. It was Christmas, so Gab went to her parent’s place in North Carolina, while I went to the other side of town to moms. Every year we did not have to do Thanksgiving dinner at moms, but she hounded all of us with Christmas. I was bringing the clam stuffing and ham, so I had to come early. Mom would probably have her other friends from her high society there. They would want to know why I was single, why I was playing around with a blog, and why I hadn’t settled down. They never asked those questions to Whit or Kendall, just me.

I walked in my mom’s kitchen to see her and two unfamiliar women looking at the turkey in the oven.

“Hey, mom.”

“Ohhh, honey. Don’t you look darling? I always love how you put your hair all wild like that. Isn’t it chic?” Tanya James asked the other two women who nodded in agreement.

“Right. So where should I put these?”

“Oh, put them over here dear, I have plenty of room.” She pointed to an open spot on the far counter.

“The boys are downstairs, which is why I have Kim and Vanessa here today.”  They all giggled, as I made my way out of the kitchen.

She probably had a man for me stashed in the closet somewhere. Always trying to match someone up. I was starting to think that is what these dinners were for.

“Whit,” I called downstairs in the basement. “Kendall.”

“Yeah, they called back up.”

That was the cue to go downstairs.

“Are y’all hiding from those gir--” I stopped on the third step from the bottom.

“Hey.” A deep voice said.

This came from one Z. Hays or Zach Hughs, or whatever his name was. He was sitting on the sofa in my mom’s house playing video games with my brothers. I immediately looked to Kendall, who shrugged and then Whit, who said, “Sis, calm down. Don’t do a Tanya right now.”

A Tanya
.

I immediately turned to head back up the stairs, when I heard footsteps behind me. The door didn’t slam when I swung it closed, so whoever it was, had to be on my heels. This was confirmed when an arm wrapped around my waist and pinned me to the wall.

“Get your hands off of me.” I sneered at the man whose name I didn’t know.

“Lauren, can you just calm down for a second? Is there a place we can talk? I want to explain.”

“There is nothing to explain,” I was speaking through my teeth.

“No there is plenty to explain. I need to --”

“You,” I pushed him off of me, “Do not need to explain anything because I don’t want to hear it.”

He let me go and sighed, “Do you want me to leave?”

“Nope, they invited you. You are their guest, not mine.” I pushed passed him and went to my old bedroom, refusing to cry. So, I just got angrier.

Zach
:

This was a bad idea and I knew it, but Kendall, of all people, begged me to come. The same with the fishing trip. I called to explain that I would not be able to make it, but they insisted. Feeling that my whole world was lost with nothing else to hold on to, I went. It was selfish, but I went and had the time of my life. It was great to be with the guys, laugh, share stories and I even told them about what happened with Lauren. They seemed to think she would get over it, but she was not getting over it, even while I was keeping my distance.

This was a bad idea.

30 minutes later, Ms. James yelled “Food’s ready.”

We all went to the table and the only seat left was right next to Lauren. She was visibly upset by my presence, but probably more about having to sit next to me. Ms. James knew she and I were on the outs, so I guess this was her way to get us back together.

“Okay, I’m going to say grace. Can we all hold hands?”

Lauren sighed at her mother, as she signaled for her to grab my hand. Lauren was absolutely not going to do that, and if I had pressed the issue, we’d have a showdown at dinner. This would have resulted in me losing my shit, putting her on my shoulder and taking her home. Not sure if this would bode well for my first introduction to her mom, but her brother’s seemed to think Lauren could be just as dramatic as their mom. 

“It’s alright,” I smiled at the older version of Lauren.

Tanya James’ hair was straight, shoulder-length with salt and pepper coloring. Her mocha complexion was almost identical to Lauren’s, and they had the same smile.

“Lauren James, Zach is a guest in this house, and you will not be rude to a guest.” Ms. James spat to her daughter.

In her way, she responded in a bored manner. “Mom, I can leave. I’m ready to go anyway. So, are you going to say grace or harp on me about touching some man’s hand that I don’t know?”

Oh shit
.

“Lauren,” her mom gasped.

“Ms. James,” I spoke up. “I don’t want to ruin anyone’s dinner here, so I’ll just head out. Lauren is clearly uncomfortable and this is a family occasion, so --”

“Nonsense,” her mom stood up. “We will pray, eat, and we will enjoy it.”

She sat down, said a quick prayer and people started to pass the food. I wasn’t sure how much more I could take, sitting so close to her and not being able to touch or talk, but instead feeling her unwelcome vibes covered with pain.

As we ate, Whit and the short woman chatted it up, but Kendall was so busy trying to entertain Lauren, that he was ignoring the taller woman. Unfortunately for me, her attentions were now directed my way as she was batting her eyes. That was another recipe for disaster, so I tried to talk with Ms. James, but she was at the head of the table on the other side of Lauren.

The next thing I know, Lauren lifted the table cloth up to peer under it briefly, then she picked her head back up and said to the tall girl, “His leg is over there, that’s my leg you are rubbing.”

“Lauren,” Ms. James gasped. “I’m so sorry Matilda. Lauren! A word in the kitchen, now.”

Her mom got up so fast; the chair almost fell back as she stormed into the kitchen. Lauren slowly rose and made her way to join her mother. It seemed they had the typical mother-daughter relationship, but now she was grown.

“Guys, I think I’m going to go.”

“No,” Kendall said, “She needs to grow up. You don’t leave.”

Whit looked at Kendall puzzled, then sighed, “Aight. You stay.”

“Guys, it has been fun. For real, but I won’t be the cause of division in your family.” I put my napkin on the table.

“Are you fucking kidding? Every Christmas, there is some shit they got to talk about in the kitchen. Two peas in a pod is what they are,” Whit corrected. “If it weren’t you, it would have been one of them.”

“What?” The tall one asked.

“You heard me, and what were you thinking about rubbing your leg on that man? Don’t you see he in love with my sister?” Whit shook his head.

The woman turned her head quickly to Whit and she snapped, “She’s not even looking at him.”

“Uh, have you seen him looking at her all evening?” Kendall chimed in, and then shook his head.

She huffed and continued to eat. I turned my attention to the kitchen waiting for them to return. After five more minutes, I got up and went into the kitchen to find Ms. James cleaning the counter.

“Where’s Lauren?”

“Oh,” She jumped. “I’m sorry Zach, she left. I knew it was a long shot, but I wanted you guys to work it out. She and I, uh, don’t always see eye to eye on how to handle things. I just want what’s best for her. I don’t know Zach. Um, I tried.” She started to tear up.

“Ms. James, you and Lauren seem to be a lot alike. How would you want it handled? This sort of situation?” I asked.

“I guess I would probably want time to myself to process everything. I’ll have my tantrum, but then I’ll see the other side and make a decision.” She smiled. “Ahh, I see what you are doing?”

“Well, I don’t even know what I’m doing, but I am giving her time. I hurt her and worse than that, it was after she trusted me to not do that. It’s going to take some time. I could drag her home and make her comply, but I want her heart.” I sighed, “Because she has mine.”

“Wow, she needs someone just like you. But, listen because I know my baby. If you don’t convince her of this, she’ll make it something else and you will never have a chance.”

“Yes, ma’am. I’m working on something now. I’m hoping this will work, but I’m going to head out and try to speak with her.”

“Okay, good luck.”

******

Tanya James was more than a piece of work. Talking to me like a child, inviting an ex over to our family dinners, and embarrassing me in front of company. I am no longer a child and I do not have to take that shit. This was my thinking all the way to
The Em
. Good food, good people, and good fun. I ordered some food to go because I had yet to catch up on my TV shows and my DVR was almost full. When I arrived home, the Chevy Silverado was parked in the parking lot, so that meant
he
was here.

Shit.

As I slowly walked up the stairs, he was sitting on the top with two plates covered in foil sitting next to him.

“I thought you might be hungry.” His eyes lifted to view me.

He looked tired and weary, the same way I felt. Instead of answering him, I held up my take-out food as a response. He nodded his head once and grabbed one of the plates and pulled the foil off.

“So, this is how we spend Christmas? Sad and alone.” He said.

“I guess so.” I sat on the step below him and pulled out my food- barbecue salmon, broccoli, and mashed potatoes.

“Em’s?”

“Yeah,” I said before I took a bite out of the broccoli.

He chewed in silence, which lasted for about ten minutes as we ate in the cold winter on the steps. Probably the adrenaline from the tension in the air, kept us warm, but we consumed our food until our plates were clean.

“For what it’s worth, Lauren. I am sorry. It was not my intention to hurt you. I only wanted to be with you. There are no excuses. I should have told you when I figured it out. It was cowardly and selfish.”

He stood up and held out his hand, which I grabbed.

“Were you going to have me sign a non-disclosure agreement?” I asked.

He sighed, then said, “No.”

“Well, Merry Christmas to you.” I stood up and headed towards the front door. 

“You too, love.” He murmured.

Zach watched me enter my place and close the door, then he drove off into the bitter night. Dumping my trash in the compactor, I went to bed to cry again.