Practice Makes Perfect (Single Father) (19 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

“I
F
I
CAN
OFFER
you a piece of advice, Dr. Cameron,” the detective said. “Leave the police work to us in future. You could have saved yourself a tank of gas driving out there. That’s our job.”

“I know.” Matthew nodded wearily. There had, of course, been no sign of Debbi or the child at the trailer park. And no word from Sarah. They were sitting around a table in one of the hospital conference rooms that had become the temporary nerve center. Every ten minutes or so, a public-relations type would come in with the latest press release. Compassionate Medical Systems bigwigs in droves. Endless recitations of the known facts.

As he got up to get coffee, his cell phone rang. He glanced dispiritedly at the screen, expecting either Elizabeth, who had called several times, or Lucy. His heart lurched when he saw the number.

“Sarah.”

Around the table, everyone seemed to freeze.

“Okay, Matthew, listen,” Sarah said when he answered. “I’m with Debbi, Curt and the baby. Alli’s not doing well. We need to get treatment for her as soon as possible. She needs to be in the hospital, but…” She paused. “This is really important, okay? Debbi is going to bring her in. She wants
you
to look at the baby. You. Not Dr. Cone or anyone else. Okay?”

“Okay.” Matthew leaned against the wall. “Where are you?”

“It doesn’t matter. But Matthew? You have to promise that nothing will happen to Debbi. That she won’t be arrested or anything. Because…I’m the guarantee.”

“Okay,” he repeated. “Tell me—”

“I suggested that Debbi brings Alli in through the basement. There are probably reporters hanging around the lobby and E.R. She’ll be there in about an hour.” Sarah paused. “Matthew, please promise me. Don’t let anything happen to Debbi.”

A
N
ETERNITY
LATER
, Matthew stood before a bank of reporters. “I am Dr. Matthew Cameron, Alli Kennedy’s physician.” He breathed deeply to still the nerves created by the microphones thrust at his face. “She is responding well to treatment and is in stable condition. Yes,” he answered to a shouted question, “her mother is with her.”

He glanced at the police chief to his left. “Charges? I think that one’s for you.”

S
ARAH
SHOWED
UP
at his apartment later that night. “It was a joint effort really. Once Debbi gave me the gun, getting Curt out of the van was a piece of cake. But then we had to decide how to make sure Alli got treated by you and not Conehead. So we concocted the story. I wasn’t sure you’d fall for it.”

She scooted around on the couch, so that she lay stretched out, feet hanging over the arm, her head in his lap. “The only good thing that came out of this, I guess, is that Curt is in jail for kidnapping. Hopefully they don’t press any charges against Debbi.”

Matthew stroked her hair. She seemed on the verge of tears and, knowing Sarah, he guessed she was beating herself up for her role in this. “That isn’t the only good thing,” he said. “Without your intervention, without you to turn to, Debbi would have gone on trying to treat Alli herself. Or gone to the free clinic and possibly seen someone not sufficiently trained to recognize Alli’s problems. So things aren’t all bad.”

“Maybe not.” She sounded unconvinced.

He yawned and leaned down to kiss her forehead. “I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for bed.”

“Me, too.”

But long after Sarah had left, he was still wide-awake. He’d reached a crossroad, he realized. To continue down the path he’d been on before Sarah came back. Or head into unfamiliar, fog-obscured territory. He considered what would happen if he continued along the known road. He decided to risk the unknown.

T
HE
FOLLOWING
MORNING
, he received a visit from Carolyn Calhoun. She was not happy.

“You exerted considerable pressure to get this child into the hospital, Dr. Cameron. In doing so, however, you chose not to disclose the full facts of the situation. Namely that the state had taken custody of her. You assured Dr. Cone he would enjoy your full support and cooperation, but you did not keep your word. As a result of this unfortunate turn of events, Compassionate Medical Systems has been subjected to a great deal of unfavorable publicity. I’ve been in conference with our legal counsel and, on his recommendation, I must regretfully ask for your resignation.”

“No regrets,” Matthew said. “I was about to offer it to you anyway.”

Back in his office, he called Lucy and then Elizabeth and told them he’d see them both that evening at the house.

“What’s wrong, Matt?” Elizabeth had asked.

“Dad, just tell me why,” Lucy had insisted.

“Just be there,” was all he would say to each one. “Six, sharp.” And then he called Sarah.

“I was walking out the door,” she said. “I have some errands to do. Are you okay?”

“Fine,” he said. “Will you be home tonight?”

“Yeah.” He heard her pause. “Really, Matthew. Is everything okay? As okay as it could be under the circumstances?”

“Everything’s okay,” he said. “I’ll see you later.”

A
FTER
SHE
HUNG
UP
, Sarah packed Deanna in her cage and drove to Rose’s house.

“All I can say is it’s a good thing you’re a dermatologist,” Sarah said as she set the cage on Rose’s living-room floor. “If you were an ob-gyn, I’d seriously wonder about your competence.”

Rose, reaching into the cage to remove Deanna, looked up at Sarah.

“What?”

“Deanna’s a she. And, what’s more, she’s pregnant.”

“No.”
Rose rolled the cat over in her arms, cradling it like a baby. “Come here, poky. Let mama check what’s under all that pretty fur.”

“You can save yourself the trouble,” Sarah said. “I already checked.”

Rose grinned.

She set the cat down on the carpet. “Coffee? I was in the middle of making some.”

Sarah followed her into the kitchen and sat at the table. Rose set a coffee mug in front of Sarah and sat down beside her.

“Well?” Rose asked. “What’s the latest?”

“Debbi called a while ago. Alli’s doing better, but she’s still undergoing tests. Debbi’s apparently had a change of heart about Dr. Cone. She’s still not thrilled with his bedside manner apparently, but she says he’s a good doctor.” She drank some coffee. “She thanked me for all I’d done, but said that Alli would be seeing Dr. Cone from now on. And one of the PR people is going to write an article for the employee magazine—about Alli’s care and how Compassionate Medical Systems really is compassionate.”

Rose raised an eyebrow. “She’s been thoroughly indoctrinated, eh?”

“
I
didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to.”

Sarah suddenly felt close to tears. She watched the play of sunlight across the top of the table. Spring, after a few tentative starts, had finally come to the peninsula. On the way over to Rose’s, she’d noticed daffodils blooming everywhere, the pink clouds of cherry blossoms, but her mood felt leaden and gray, the tender shoots of her fledgling practice withering before they could grow into anything meaningful. “Debbi’s got a hearing next week about the custody issue,” she said, mostly to fill the silence. “We’ll see what happens after that.”

“Cone wields a lot of influence,” Rose said. “As long as Debbi keeps all the appointments and doesn’t start feeding her dandelion tea, they’ll probably grant her custody.” She peered at Sarah. “How are
you?
”

Sarah considered how to answer the question, not sure she wanted to confide in Rose.

Rose raised a brow. “That bad, eh?”

“Debbi also said Matthew had resigned from CMS.” Tears stung her nose and throat and she waited a moment, trying to get control. “He didn’t mention it when he called, but he’s coming over tonight. I guess, to tell me.”

“I’d heard rumors,” Rose said.

“I feel like a tornado that blew into town,” Sarah said. “Lucy, Debbi, Matthew.” She got up from the table, grabbed a tissue and blew her nose. “Well, maybe not so much Debbi. She’s getting the proper treatment for Alli, which is a positive, I guess. But Matthew.”

“And what’s your solution?”

Sarah moved to the window. The mock cherry at the edge of Rose’s yard was in full bloom, blossoms like pink confetti fluttering in the breeze off the strait. Out in the water, a red coast-guard boat left a wake as it rounded the harbor.

“I think I want to get out of Dodge,” she said. “Well, I don’t exactly
want
to, but I think that would be best for everyone.”

“Very noble of you.”

Sarah felt the words like a slap. She’d turned from the window to glare at Rose. “Why
is
it so difficult for you to act like a mother?”

Her expression unruffled, Rose met Sarah’s angry stare. “Sarah, I don’t
act
like a mother. I
am
a mother. Maybe I’m not your idea of what a mother should be, but I’m me. I’m the way I am. And I refuse to beat myself up because I don’t meet your standards.”

Her anger dissipating as quickly as it had flared, Sarah got more coffee. She thought of the book of lists. The Perfect Mother, the Perfect Husband. She’d never written one called the Perfect Me. Maybe there wasn’t enough paper to list all the things she expected of herself. She returned her seat. Elbows on the table, she propped her chin and looked bleary-eyed at Rose.

“I’m sorry.”

“I understand you more than you give me credit for, Sarah.” Rose stroked the cat. “You carry around this feeling that you’ve failed somehow. You failed at being pretty, you failed at winning Matthew. I don’t see how you could possibly have thought you failed at being the smartest kid in the class, mostly because you worked so hard to make it happen.”

Sarah smiled faintly. “Actually, I failed at that, too. Matthew was smarter, although I’d never tell him that.”

“And now you’ve failed to charm his daughter. Lost out to her, just like you did to Elizabeth. Made a big fiasco of this Debbi Kennedy case. Chalk that up as another failure.”

“Remind me not to call you if I ever feel suicidal,” Sarah said, although she was quite aware of what Rose was doing.

“Well, you’re forty-two, Sarah, and what do you have to show for your life? Do you have a husband? Kids? Property? Money in the bank—other than what your father left you? Your father, who wasn’t a failure, I might add.”

“Okay, you made your point. So what do I do about it?”

Rose smirked. “Quite honestly, I don’t know. I’ve always been better at pointing out your faults than your attributes. No doubt why I’m listed in your book.”

“I apologized,” Sarah said. “Burn the book.”

“No way,” Rose said. “I find it charming. Hopelessly naive but charming, nonetheless.” She set the cat down on the floor, opened a can of cat food and emptied it into a dish. “Here’s my advice, for what it’s worth.”

Sarah waited.

“Just be yourself and quit worrying about not being perfect. Nothing is perfect. You’re not perfect and you never will be no matter how hard you try. This—” she grabbed the newspaper from the table “—isn’t perfect. There is news that hasn’t been reported. There are probably typos. Pictures out of focus. Does that mean you shouldn’t read it? Of course not. That’s the point. Just because something is not perfect, it can still be very effective and useful.”

“That’s it?”

“Yep.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

E
VERY
LIGHT
IN
THE
HOUSE
was blazing as Matthew pulled into Elizabeth’s driveway. The living room was empty, but the television was on and a newscaster was yammering about the latest developments in the Alli Kennedy kidnapping.

“…which raises the question of how adequate hospital security…”

Matthew snapped it off and followed the sound of Lucy’s voice up the stairs to her bedroom where she was lying on the bed reading a magazine and Elizabeth, seated at Lucy’s dresser, was polishing her nails. The carpet, pale pink, was littered with magazines, socks and dirty glasses. They both looked up as he came in.

“Any reason why the TV is on when there’s no one down there watching it?” he asked. “Or why the house is lit up like a beacon?”

Elizabeth gave him a puzzled look as though seriously considering an answer. “What’s up with you?”

“Hey, Dad.” Lucy tapped the magazine. “Check out this snowboard.”

“Lucy,” Elizabeth warned, obviously sensing something from his expression. “Let’s go downstairs. I haven’t started dinner yet.”

“Let’s go to Bella’s,” Lucy said.

Elizabeth had already started down the stairs. He followed her, Lucy behind him, and they all trooped into the kitchen.

“How about pasta?” Elizabeth opened the refrigerator. “I’ve got some cooked chicken and…asparagus.”

“Do that later.” Matthew pulled out a chair and sat down. Lucy had pulled herself up on the counter, and Elizabeth was still inventorying the fridge. “Okay, there’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to plunge right in. I made a major decision today. Two, actually. The first is I’m no longer with Compassionate Medical Systems.”

Elizabeth’s jaw dropped. She leaned against the counter. In the pin-dropping silence, her glance moved briefly to Lucy then fixed on him. “Matt. You resigned?”

“I was going to. They beat me to it and fired me.” He waited a moment for that to sink in. “Obviously, this is going to necessitate a lot of changes and some of them won’t be easy. To start with we’re going to have to sell this house.”

“Da-ad.”
Eyes wide, Lucy stared at him. “Can’t you just get another job?”

“I plan to,” Matthew said. “But I’m probably going to bring in less money than I did even before CMS.”

Elizabeth met his eyes. “You’re going to go into practice with Sarah, aren’t you?”

“I haven’t discussed it with her yet, but that’s my intention.”

“I think you should,” Elizabeth said.

Overwhelming relief mingled with his surprise. “You do?”

She laughed. “Matt, come on. You’ve always acted like I don’t have a serious thought in my head and all I care about is shopping, but—”

“
You
come on,” he said. “I’ve never thought that about you.”

“Here, Elizabeth,” she said in a gruff voice, meant to be his, “here’s a hundred dollars. Go buy a dress or something.”

“And I thought I was being a good provider.”

“You were, Matt. Are. But it was like you never really saw me, or knew who I was.”

Lucy sighed dramatically. “So do I have to go to a different school?”

“No,” Matthew and Elizabeth said together.

“Lulu, your life won’t be that different,” Matthew explained. “But look at the size of this house. I know we can find something you’ll like that makes more sense all around.” Head bowed, Lucy silently picked at her fingernails, her hair falling like a curtain around her shoulders. His heart ached for her because her life was about to change and it would be more than just moving to a smaller house. Lucy was also at a crossroads, somewhere between the safety of childhood and the exhilaration of young adulthood with all its bumps and turns and unexpected obstacles. And his decision would make the going that much rougher for her.

“Are you going to marry Sarah?” she finally asked. And then she raised her head to look at him. Defensive, her back stiff, she braced for the answer. “Just tell me, okay?”

H
OW
DO
YOU
EXPLAIN
why you’ve decided to end things with a man you’ve loved for as long as you can remember? Sarah had no idea. For the past ten minutes she and Matthew had sat silently on one of the benches that ran along the Olympic Discovery Trail, looking out at the water.

The third bench, she’d counted. He’d asked her to marry him and, when she hadn’t replied instantly, had offered to get down on one knee. She’d laughed, although she hadn’t felt like laughing. She’d refused the offer.

The wind from the strait was cool on her face, drying the tears on her cheeks. Wind blew her hair around her head, blew ripples across the water. Tossed the yellow dandelions that studded the grass, a brilliant green in the fading light. The receding tide had left dark green seawood on the rocks. A couple of gulls screeched.

“Big fight in gull land,” Sarah broke the silence to say as she watched them duke it out midair for a dangling worm.

Matthew put his arm around her shoulder. “Why?”

“Because they both want the same worm.” And then she started laughing, on the edge of hysteria. Matthew didn’t join in. “Sorry,” she said, growing sober again.

“If it’s Lucy…”

“No. I mean, Lucy doesn’t make things easy, but she isn’t the reason I know this wouldn’t work.”

“You don’t
know,
Sarah. You think. And sometimes you think too much.”

“I don’t need to be rescued, Matthew.” He’d told her his plan. He would lead the exodus of physicians and other medical staff from CMS and they would join forces to purchase the old Port Arthur hospital. For just a moment, she’d entertained the idea. “You wouldn’t have been suggesting this if it hadn’t been for me.”

“So what? You were the necessary catalyst. What’s wrong with that?”

“Everything. This whole hideous kidnapping thing. I am so embarrassed by all that happened. Okay, maybe it wasn’t strictly my fault, but I think—”

“There you go again.”

“Please. There’s something in me that…I don’t know, leads to chaos.”

Matthew laughed. “I’m sorry,” he said after a moment, “but I think it was you who told me that Lucy’s problem was that she thought the world revolved around her. Listening to you, I can’t help thinking the same thing. It’s not selfish with you, the way it is with Lucy, but, Sarah… Some things would happen regardless of whether or not you were involved.”

Her teeth were chattering now and she hunched her shoulders, clasped her hands between her thighs for warmth. It didn’t matter. On a deeper level, one that Matthew didn’t fully understand, she knew her self-assessment was right. It was like a reverse Midas touch.

She drew in a breath. “You’ve asked me several times about Ted and I’ve never wanted to talk about him. The night before he died, we had this horrible, horrible fight. He told me he was unhappy, that he still loved me but…”

Matthew’s arm tightened around her shoulder.

“He said I’d eroded his self-esteem. That I was destroying him.” She started crying. “He felt he could never live up to my expectations. I tried to argue with him, tell him that what he was saying was ridiculous…and then I realized that was exactly the problem. The thing is, I didn’t know how to be any other way. Rose told me to be myself. But myself isn’t a good thing to be. After there was nothing more to say, he left. Went skiing.”

“The only answer I have to that,” Matthew said after a few moments, “is that I’m not Ted.”

“But I’ve still messed up your life.”

“Sarah, if I believed you’d messed up my life, why would I want to marry you? Or are you suggesting that only you have the ability to know that you’ve messed up my life?”

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

M
ATTHEW
DROPPED
Sarah off at her apartment. Experience had taught him that once she’d set her mind on something, changing it was all but impossible. He drove into town, pulled up outside Brown’s Outdoor and spent more than he wanted to think about on several pieces of luggage and a backpack that could carry everything but the kitchen sink. Then, as planned, he picked Lucy up from her mother’s.

“What are all those for?” she asked when she saw the luggage in the backseat.

“Remember I told you I was going to join Sarah’s practice?”

She slumped in her seat. “Yeah. So now you’re going to marry her and go off on a trip.”

“No. She turned me down.” He pulled up outside the ice cream place. “I’m feeling kind of bad about it. A double dip of blackberry might help.”

“Why doesn’t she want you?” Lucy asked when they were sitting at their favorite table in the window alcove.

“No idea. Maybe she doesn’t think I’m good enough.”

“That’s crazy,” Lucy said.

“Thank you, Lulu.”

She nibbled at the cone, licked some ice cream off her hand. “So are you going back to CMS?”

“They won’t have me.” He stretched his legs out. “They won’t have me, Sarah won’t have me. It’s kind of hard not to take it personally.”

“But you shouldn’t, Daddy. Everybody knows you’re a good doctor.” She got up from the table to give him a quick hug. “And a good dad.”

He managed a gloomy smile. “Well, I’m glad you think so, Lulu. That means more than you know. At least I’ll have some good memories to take with me.” Waiting a moment for the words to sink in, he drew a deep breath. “I’m going to Central America, Lucy. Sarah had told me so much about it that I’m thinking of applying to the clinic where she worked.” He shot her a quick glance, just long enough to check the effect of what he’d said. Bingo. Stunned into gape-jawed silence. “Six months, maybe,” he elaborated. “Maybe a year.”

She kept staring at him. “You’re joking, right?”

“No, I’m perfectly serious. It sounded interesting, the work she was doing. I like the idea of really helping people who need help.”

“People here need help, too,” Lucy said.

“True, but Sarah’s got that covered. I don’t want to encroach on her territory.”

He stole another glance at his daughter, who was twirling a lock of hair around her finger, a sure sign she was deep in thought.

“I don’t understand why she won’t let you work with her.”

Matthew shrugged. “Who knows?”

“But Daddy, when she came over…when we had that fight, she said she loves you.”

“I guess she changed her mind.”

E
LIZABETH
WAS
SOAKING
in the tub went Lucy burst into the bathroom, pink-faced, eyes blazing and a smear of what looked like ice cream on her chin.

“Dad’s going to Central America for a year because Sarah won’t let him join her practice.
A year.
And he’s all bummed out because first Compassionate Medical Systems doesn’t want him and now Sarah’s acting hateful and he bought all this luggage. I saw it. And…” She burst into tears. “I don’t understand what’s going on.”

Elizabeth, despite Lucy’s tearful agitation, fought to keep a straight face. It didn’t take a brain surgeon to realize that Matthew, after tolerating his daughter’s manipulative tactics for some time now had decided that turnabout was fair play. Whether Sarah would see through the ruse, she wasn’t sure. Maybe not. Sarah could be dense when it came to emotional stuff. But Sarah and Matthew belonged together—whether Sarah knew it or not. If Elizabeth had to lock them in a room together to duke it out, she’d do it.

“Mom, I don’t want Dad to go to Central America,” Lucy said. “Can’t
you
say something to him?”

“Well, sweetie, let’s think this through. If he doesn’t go, he’ll end up seeing Sarah again, probably marrying her, and you know how you feel about that.”

“He might not marry her,” Lucy said. “You don’t know.”

“Honey, I knew Sarah and your dad long before you came along. They were like…two magnets. Some people really are meant for each other.”

“Why doesn’t Sarah think so?”

“Because Sarah is very stubborn. She might be a doctor and really smart, but in some ways, she’s like a kid and you just want to shake some sense into her.”

Lucy frowned. “Is it because of me?”

“Well, I don’t think you made it easy for either of them. I know Sarah felt bad because she thought you didn’t like her.”

“She doesn’t like me.”

“You
think
she doesn’t like you. See, that’s what happens sometimes. I’m not saying it’s just you, we all do it. We walk around acting a certain way—snobby, or friendly, whatever—and other people act the same way in response. I bet if you’d acted happy and friendly around Sarah, you wouldn’t be sitting here thinking she doesn’t like you.”

Lucy was twirling her hair. “Do you think Dad would still go to Central America if I was nice to Sarah?”

“I don’t know, honey. Might be worth a try though.”