Praefatio: A Novel (25 page)

I checked in on the Larsons sometimes. Sometimes I would shapeshift as “that silly cat on the porch again” or “that same blue bird that sits outside the kitchen window.” Other times I’d just leave my body and be invisible for as long as I could, so I could sit on the steps and listen to their conversations like I did when I lived there.

It had been a few days since I’d dropped in on them, so when Sergeant Mullane stopped by, I assumed he would be giving an update on the search for me. I’d always enjoyed his thorough and encouraging updates. He always made it seem like they were so close to finding me. His knock was typical, nothing urgent about it, so I decided to wait to hear the news rather than read his mind. It took the fun out of life sometimes if you always knew what someone was going to say before they said it.

Mrs. Larson walked to the door more quickly than usual. She was a slow walker, even more so since Dad had died, and then like an old lady after I ran away. This time, she was out of her chair as soon as she heard the car door slam outside.

“Victoria, Ken,” Sergeant Mullane sighed, as if exhausted from all the evil in the world, when he entered the house.

Mr. Larson got up from his La-Z-Boy. I adjusted my angle to get a better look at what was going on. I thought I’d picked up on something odd.

“Would you like something to drink, Rocco?” Mrs. Larson offered as Sergeant Mullane removed his hat, holding it close to his stomach. I had never really seen him without some sort of hat on: police, baseball, fishing cap, or whatever. He was kind of handsome in an old guy kind of way. I’d always wondered why he hadn’t remarried, and wasn’t all that clear on what had happened to his wife.

“No thanks,” he refused, looking from Mr. Larson, who had taken a seat back in the La-Z-Boy, to Mrs. Larson, who looked especially anxious and quite pretty that evening.

Mrs. Larson insisted on fussing over people. “Would you like to sit down? Can I take your hat?”

“No thank—”

“Victoria, let the man get a word in edgewise. Just let him say whatever it is he came to say.” Mr. Larson rubbed his forehead and braced for the news.

I wished I could tell them that I hadn’t really run away. They deserved so much better than Remi and me: two liars. All they did was love us, take us in after Dad died and Mom left us. They deserved to know the truth. Or some version of it. Anything but this. What kind of angels worth their wings would cause so much pain?

I wanted to show myself, to appear to them, but it was against the rules of
Praefatio
. Angels were not allowed to show themselves to humans unless they were in imminent danger or we brought a Divine message. I considered starting a fire, because then they’d be in mortal danger.

“We found Gabe’s Maserati.” He paused and looked from Mrs. Larson to Mr. Larson. Mrs. Larson’s face seemed permanently frozen in horror. She remained statue-like as tears streamed down her cheeks. Sergeant Mullane continued when Mr. Larson was obviously going to do nothing to comfort her. “It looks like Remi and Jenny were in the car. But so far we’ve not found their bodies.”

“Grace, come with me now.” Gavin’s voice was soft in my ear, but the urgency was definite, imperative.

I whispered even though I knew humans couldn’t hear me. “What? Gavin. What’s going on?” I turned, surprised to see him there. Tears filled my eyes when I turned back to see Mrs. Larson collapse into a ball of sadness. Gavin took my hand and started to pull me backward out of the house. I couldn’t move of my own accord.

“I didn’t want you to find out like this.” Gavin rushed me out of the house, scaring me with his urgency. It reminded me of that time when Remi and I ran from those evil things. Reluctantly, I opened my wings and took flight with Gavin. He said nothing more, but he didn’t have to. I knew there was something wrong with Remi.

About one hundred fifty thousand feet up, we reached Arcturus. He was flanked by two angels in black metal battle gear with “take another step and we’ll kill you” looks on their faces. They were beautifully intimidating with swords slung over their shoulders and at their waists and ankles. One had a wicked-looking crossbow at the ready and a few guns on his waist.

“Arcturus? What’s happened to Remi and Jenny?” I called to him. Gavin squeezed my hand in his as we stopped directly in front of the three boys.

“That’s far enough, Fallen. Arcturus can take it from here.” The redhead’s voice was commanding and unbelievably threatening for someone who looked to be no more than fourteen. He motioned for Gavin to stop, pulled a sword from his back, and held it firmly in case Gavin disobeyed. The other one continued aiming his crossbow at Gavin’s chest.

“What’s going on? Who are you? What’s happened to Remi and Jenny?” I demanded. As quickly as the words escaped my mouth, the answers became clear, at least one of them. It was the end of the line for Gavin. He could go no farther.

“Grace, we don’t have time for this.
Michael’s
waiting for you.” Arcturus nodded toward Gavin as he said “this.”

Gavin shot Arcturus a look. Arcturus returned his stare with a fierceness that scared me—and perhaps Gavin. Gavin took a step back, then lowered his gaze and wings slightly.

“Go. I’ll be here when you get back. And tell your … tell Michael that I’d like a word with him, please. That I would appreciate the granting of an audience with him.” Gavin kissed my cheek and let go of my hand.

I stared after him, wondering what all the secrecy was about. When he pulled away, he seemed embarrassed. Then Arcturus and I started upward without looking back.

Gavin opened his mind to me as I flew.

Soon, you’ll be too high up for us to communicate. I want you to hear this from me. Jennifer Larson is pregnant.

I nearly fell out of the sky. My human ears started ringing, and dizziness swirled around me, teasing and daring me to continue my ascent so it could slap me out of the sky.

Remi! What did you do? What did you do!
I wasn’t sure I’d heard Gavin right, or better yet, that I wanted to hear any more. The dizziness caused me to take an unexpected dive before I managed to level off.

Everything I had ever eaten since birth was about to leave my body. I was sure of it. My toes tingled. Pure fire gurgled inside my stomach. My wings felt low, heavy with condemnation.

“You okay, Grace? You don’t look well.” Arcturus circled me, awaiting a response. I waved him away, nodding to assure him, then found strength and flew ahead of him. I had to help Remi. He was always there for me. There had to be a way to stop him from Falling.

Grace, Remi has not Fallen … yet. He should have Fallen immediately. This happened a little more than three weeks ago. Jenny may not even know that she’s pregnant. Even still, Jenny will deliver in a few days. And when that happens, all hell will break lose.

I was a volcano threatening to erupt. My life as an angel just kept getting worse and worse. I wanted to fall apart there in the clouds. But I couldn’t. I needed to focus, to figure out how to fix this.

Poor Jenny Larson. Her parents had sheltered her from so much. She probably found out about sex on the day she had it with Remi, and now she was pregnant. She trusted Remi, and now she was going to die because of it. And Remi might be stupid, but there was no way I was going to let him become a Fallen.

Grace, you cannot stop Remi from Falling. It is already done. The only thing you can do is try to find a way to save Jenny’s life and that of her unborn child. Remi is lost to you now
. Gavin’s voice was certain, assured, but oddly sad. When I heard it, I realized it was me who had caused him to be sad. I wanted to save Remi from becoming … like Gavin.

It’s just that Remi doesn’t deserve this,
I countered as the tears streamed across my face, hot, and into my hair. I’d made it worse.

None of us do
. He paused, the pain in his voice evidenced by the cracking. He started to say something, but stopped, leaving only pained silence between us.

So This is What it Looks Like

Perched on a cloud, I pulled my knees into my chest and closed my eyes. I wanted to shut out the voices, the growing sense of dread, and the knowledge that my old life was over. I could never go back.

When I opened my eyes again, the most beautiful being I had ever seen or imagined stood before me. I searched the six thousand five hundred languages I read, wrote, and spoke for an articulate way to describe him. To say that he had this color hair or that color eyes, or that he stood this tall, would be to trivialize all that is
Michael
. We must have been connected, as Gavin said, because my heart recognized him the minute I saw him.

“I am Michael,” was all he said. He extended a hand to help me up with powerful arms that appeared to be carved from the most exquisite stone. With that one statement, it was immediately apparent that it was not through intimidation or threats that Michael got people to do his bidding. He captivated with only the sound of his voice. I wanted nothing more than to honor and endear myself to him in that moment.

Knowing, kind, and alluring eyes met my sad and confused ones. As I looked at him, I knew somehow that if I was ever lucky enough to be held by him, the comfort of a thousand pillows awaited.

“I’m Grace,” I blabbed, as if he didn’t already know.

“Walk with me, Grace,” Michael said, keeping my hand in his.

It felt like my mind was being pried open with a crowbar. There was no hiding the questions, the fear. “So, I guess trying to keep my mind closed is futile?”

“I’m not sure what you’ve been told about mind reading. But it should only be done to assess the intent of the person being engaged. Our Fallen brothers like to jailbreak minds and use the ability for more sinister reasons.” Michael shoved me with his elbow as if we had been friends since childhood.

“Oh.”

“Has anyone ever told you that every one of us has a different
Praefatio
?”

“Yes.”

“Did you know that while it starts the same, how it ends up is different for all of us? That it is written by the Authorities as we live our lives?”

“I don’t understand.”

“The book changes as events and things change around us, as the order of things change. Did you know that?” Michael’s expression remained fixed, nothing in his demeanor implied that he was about to drop a bomb on me.

“No. And I still don’t understand. How can that be?”

“Would you be offended if I offered you a scenario that may help you comprehend?” He smiled a perfectly warm smile.

“No,” I lied.

“What if what you have read in
Praefatio
, and Gavin, what he has read in his, is true now, but is not meant to be the end, the future, forever? What if what is in your
Praefatio
is different than, say, what is in Emeria’s
Praefatio
? What if Emeria is supposed to be with Gavin according to her
Praefatio
?” Michael stopped walking and turned to face me. I felt like a dwarf in front of him.

“But how can that be? How can the future be so uncertain, so up for grabs?”

“Have you ever heard the expression ‘The Powers That Be’?”

I nodded.

“The Powers are a group of angels, most of whom are responsible for the history, teachings, and ideology of all knowledge, celestial knowledge. But you already know this, being that you aced your exams and all.” He smiled proudly. “They are tasked with the authoring of
Praefatio
and can change it at any time in history; that is past, present, or future, for any angel as directed. The Authorities write what the Powers tell them. They are the scribes. I guess you could call them ghostwriters.”

I suppose he thought that last bit about the ghostwriters was funny. And under normal circumstances I would have been howling. But if anyone could rewrite histories or futures, like, on a whim, it meant no one was safe. “I don’t like the sound of this.”

“If Emeria had succeeded in winning Gavin’s heart while pretending to be you, you would not be here talking to me right now. Or, perhaps you would, but the conversation would be just
slightly
different. Either way,
Praefatio
would rewrite itself to ensure balance in the universe, and the prophecy would be about Emeria and not you. It would be as if you never existed in Gavin’s heart—or maybe you did, just not anymore.”

“Or maybe I’d be the evil twin,” I joked, despite enduring thoughts of my mother. This all started with her. She was the reason I was there, not Emeria. Not the Powers, not
Praefatio
, but her. Why had she chosen me? Contrary to what everyone seemed to think, I wasn’t all that special. I knew then that finding Mom was the key to figuring out who and what I was.

Michael held me steady as my legs buckled under me.

“OK, now, listen to me,” Michael instructed. “You and Gavin have a unique opportunity to usher in a new age of peace. But I don’t want you to feel as if you have to be the poster child for harmonious celestial living. As for Rosa, you can forget about finding her. She obviously doesn’t want to be found. Believe me, we’ve tried. You’re an adult, and so is Emeria. You can either have a mommy complex, or you can move on and not let it distract you from what’s really going on.”

“But, I … ”

“And you should know that I do not agree with the capture and enslavement of Lesser Angels, nor the partnership with otherworldlies for the furtherance of this war. If this is going to work, we need rules. If I support your relationship with Gavin, it is not a universal acceptance of all things Fallen. Agreed?” Michael seemed determined to back me into a corner.

“Agreed,” I replied halfheartedly. I didn’t appreciate being scolded for things I had nothing to do with.

“This Lex character is out of control. I expect you to deal with him. He’s been left to run amok for years, and now angels of every order are being targeted and turned into slaves by this maniac. Make it priority, Grace. Get this guy under control before it’s too late.”