Prayers to Broken Stones (25 page)

BOOK: Prayers to Broken Stones
8.48Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub

There were screams, human and otherwise, but Louis
paid no attention as he watched the death throes of the two dozen spectral forms in the room. His vision had altered permanently now and the beds and their human occupants were mere shadows in a great space blazing in ultraviolet and infrared but dominated by the blue-white corona which was his own body. He vomited once more, doubling over to retch up blood and two dying, glowing slugs, but this was a minor inconvenience as long as his strength held out and at that second he felt that it would last forever.

Louis looked down, through the floor, through
five
floors, seeing the hospital as levels of clear plastic interlaced with webs of energy from electrical wiring, lights, machines, and organisms. Many organisms. The healthy ones glowed a soft orange but he could see the pale yellow infections, the grayish corruptions, and the throbbing black pools of incipient death.

Rising, Louis stepped over the dying corpses of cancer vampires and the acid-pools which had been thrashing slugs seconds before. Although he already could see beyond, he opened wide doors and stepped out onto the terrace. The night air was cool.

Drawn by the extraordinary light, they waited. Hundreds of yellow eyes turned upwards to stare from blue-black pits set in dead faces. Mouths pulsed. Hundreds more of the things converged as Louis watched.

Louis raised his own eyes, seeing more stars than anyone had ever seen as the night sky throbbed with uncountable X-ray sources and infinite tendrils of unnamed colors. He looked down to where they continued to gather, by the thousands now, their pale faces glowing like candles in a procession. Louis prayed for a single miracle. He prayed that he could feed them all. “Tonight, Death,” he whispered, the sound too soft for even him to hear, “you shall die.”

Louis stepped to the railing, raised his arms, and went down to join those who waited.

Introduction to “The Offering”

Just recently, as I write this in the early autumn of 1989, I optioned my novel
Carrion Comfort
to a film and TV production group. As is the case with many would-be Ben Hechts, I wanted first crack at the screenplay.

All right, said the production group, but first let’s see what you can do with a half-hour TV script.

I’ve never written a teleplay or screenplay before, but being a child of the second half of the Twentieth Century, I feel like I’ve
lived
in the movies for most of my life. As a writer, I’ve heard all of the horror stories about doing work-for-hire in this particular collaborative medium: the senseless rewrite demands, the producer’s girlfriend suggesting a “great idea” that guts your script, the contempt so much of the industry has for writers (“Didja hear the one about the Polish starlet visiting Hollywood? To get ahead she slept with all the
writers
!”), the endless compromises of quality in the face of budget or perceived market demands or whim or … you name it. The list of aggravations seems infinite.

That’s why it was interesting to me that my first attempt at script writing was a lot of fun. The rewrite suggestions not only were minimal but definitely improved the product. The people I dealt with were professionals, and I always enjoy working with people who know their business—whether it’s in carpentry or filmmaking. Of course, my agent says that it was a fluke … 
that
studio was OK but the next will drive me to drink and beyond. My agent is a gentleman and a friend … he humors me
… but I know that in his heart he thinks that I should quit while I’m ahead.

Well, maybe. Maybe after one more TV show. Then perhaps a movie. Just a little movie … and then, just maybe, a twenty-hour mini-series. And then …

Meanwhile, I thought you might be interested in how I decided to adapt “Metastasis” to teleplay form. Reading scripts is not the easiest or most enjoyable literary pursuit, so if you skip over this entry it’s understandable.

But if you
do
bear on, it might interest you to know some of the demands and restrictions a low-budget syndicated TV series makes on the writer who’s adapting a story.

First, the thing has to run about 22 or 23 pages to fit its half-hour format, averaging about a minute per page, since the rest of the time is taken up by the fershtugginer commercials that keep so many of us from
watching
these syndicated shows.

Second, as I’m sure you know, the “exciting parts” come right before the commercial cluster breaks. (They don’t really give a damn what happens the last few minutes of the show … they don’t need to get you back after
that
break.)

Third, budget restrictions on this show allowed only three or four characters, or at least only that many characters who could
speak.
No exterior shots (but the director wanted the “windshield” shots in the opening). Only two interior sets and those easy to construct. Limited special effects—one or two optical processes, a few seconds of simple animation, and a guy in a monster suit and/or mask.

Fourth, they wanted a new title. “Metastasis” was out. They were afraid the audience would flip channels rather than watch something with such an ominous, disease-ridden sound to it.

Fifth, one of the top people thought I should also throw out the idea of “cancer vampires”—but, hey, I had to draw the line somewhere. I pointed out that this was the concept for which they had bought the story. I reasoned with them. I used logic. Then I held my breath until I turned blue, pounded my heels on the linoleum, and
threatened to fax them six bales of junk mail if they didn’t let me keep my cancer vampire. They relented.

There’s more, but I think you get the idea. The question I faced was—could I adapt “Metastasis” so that the essence of the short story survived even while I tossed out major plot elements, characters, settings, and structure for the reasons listed above?

I found the challenge rather enjoyable. As I write this, the studio is just finishing the filming (actually taping) of “The Offering” and I have no idea when I’ll see it. I don’t know which actors were chosen. I can only guess what changes were made in the script during the actual production. (For those of you interested, the program will be aired on a syndicated series called
MONSTERS,
scheduled somewhere between 11:00
P.M.
and 4:00
A.M.
in most local markets. God knows where and when it will be by the time you read this.)

I’d be curious to know what you think of this adaptation.

The Offering

ACT I

FADE IN:

1. EXT. A CAR. NIGHT.

We open with a montage of images: E.C.U. of rain on a windshield, the blur of a windshield wiper; we close on LOUIS—a handsome young man but agitated now, unshaven, intense, blinking in the glare of oncoming lights and obviously upset about something—a sudden flash of light too bright to be a passing car, brakes squealing, metal tearing … from Louis’s P.O.V. we see everything spinning and the glare expanding, the sound of impact, filling the universe with rising noise and moving light …

DISSOLVE TO:

2. INT. HOSPITAL ROOM. DAY.

The moving light blurs, comes into focus, and we see that it is a penlight held by DR. HUBBARD, an avuncular, older man wearing a white hospital coat over his suit.

DR. HUBBARD

Louis? Louis, can you hear me? Louis?

Louis tries to lift his head but is restrained by the doctor.

DR. HUBBARD

Easy, Louis. Easy. Just lie still for a moment. Do you know where you are?

Louis’s head is heavily bandaged. He groans again, tries to lift both hands to his head, but stops—staring at his hospital ID bracelet, the IV in his left arm, his hospital gown—looking around in surprise. He moves his head slowly, obviously in great pain, and squints up at the doctor.

LOUIS

Dr. Hubbard? Yeah, I know where I am … the hospital … but why? What happened?

The doctor smiles, plays with his unlit pipe.

DR. HUBBARD

We’ve been worried about you, Louis. You had quite a serious concussion. You’ve been unconscious for almost seventy-two hours. Do you remember the accident?

LOUIS

Accident? Uh-uh, I don’t remember any … Wait, I remember
you
calling me … telling me that Mom had been admitted to Mt. Sinai … that you had to operate … Oh, God, I remember … cancer! She has cancer! Like Dad.

Louis starts to sit up but the pain is so intense that he almost passes out. Dr. Hubbard takes him firmly by the shoulders, sets him gently back on the pillows.

DR. HUBBARD

(attempting to make his voice light)

Louis, I told you to
come
to the hospital, not put
yourself
in
it. Do you remember anything about the accident?

Louis’s eyes are still closed as he fights the pain, concentrates. Finally he shakes his head … he can’t quite remember.

DR. HUBBARD

After I told you about your mother’s illness, you drove across town like a madman. Evidently your car hit some black ice on the Youngman Expressway … rolled four or five times, the patrolman said … Well, you’ve always been a bit reckless, Louis. Or at least since …

Dr. Hubbard removes the pipe, frowns at it as if just discovering it is unlit, and shakes his head.

LOUIS

(voice thick)

Was anyone else hurt?

DR. HUBBARD

No … no one else. And you were lucky, my boy. The pressure on the left frontal lobe of your brain was … well, it could have been very serious. As it is, you’ll have quite a headache for a week or two … possibly some double vision …

Louis opens his eyes and it is obvious by the intensity ol his gaze that he is not worried about his own well-being.

LOUIS

Dr. Hubbard, how’s Mom? You said on the phone that she had to go into surgery right away. Did you operate? Did you get all the cancer? Or is it … like Dad’s cancer when I was a kid. Is it too late?

Dr. Hubbard removes his pipe again, turns it over and over in his hands and stares at it.

DR. HUBBARD

This is a filthy habit, Louis. I gave it up a year ago, but still carry the pipe around … can’t get used to not having the thing with me …

Louis sits up in spite of the pain, grips the doctor’s white coat and pulls him closer.

LOUIS

Tell me,
damn it. How is she? How serious is the cancer? Is Mom going to be all right?

DR. HUBBARD

Louis, I’ve known your family for years … I was your father’s doctor when you were just a child, all during his long struggle …

Dr. Hubbard looks straight at Louis, all business now, his voice brisk.

DR. HUBBARD

When I spoke to you before your mother’s operation … before your accident … I had some hope that the surgery alone might eradicate her cancer. But the metastasis was more rapid than we thought and now … well, we’ll have to take it one day at a time now. There’s always something else to try …

Louis is stunned, speechless. Dr. Hubbard grips the younger man’s shoulder.

DR. HUBBARD

We’re going ahead with radiation treatment, Louis. We have new drugs now, medication to help diminish the pain of the … of the coming
weeks. We can hope for a remission. New procedures are being perfected all the time …

LOUIS

Where is she, Dr. Hubbard? Is Mom nearby?

DR. HUBBARD

She’s right down the hall, Louis. Room 2119. You can visit her in a couple of days … when we’re sure you’re better. The kind of head injury you sustained can have all sorts of nasty side effects …

Louis struggles to get his legs off the bed, to stand up.

LOUIS

Mom!

Dr. Hubbard restrains him, forces him back onto the pillows.

DR. HUBBARD

(shouting over his shoulder)

Nurse!

A syringe is brought to the doctor. He checks the contents administers it via Louis’s IV.

DR. HUBBARD

You can see your mother tomorrow. Right now you have to rest. This will help you sleep.

Other books

Rock Into Me by Susan Arden
Maggie MacKeever by Lady Sweetbriar
One of Us by Jeannie Waudby
Don't Blame the Devil by Pat G'Orge-Walker
DEATHLOOP by G. Brailey
The Gathering Dead by Stephen Knight