Precious Embrace (Embrace Series) (3 page)

Johnny carried Micah up to the nursery and laid him in the crib as easy as he could to not wake him. When Micah’s breathing steadied, Johnny reached over for the baby monitor. He turned the base on and carried the remote with him and went back downstairs.

Ali was curled in a ball, fast asleep. He wanted more than anything to lay with her and hold her. He clicked off the TV and one of the lamps then knelt on the floor next to her. A strand of blond hair lay across her cheek and tucked under her chin. With a need to touch her, he brushed the hair off her face with gentle fingers, lingering on her cheek for a moment. She jerked awake with a start and he cupped her face to calm her.

“Hi…”

“Where’s Micah?” Her eyes darted around the room before focusing on his face.

Johnny handed her the baby monitor remote. “He’s asleep in his crib.”

“You put him to bed?” She held the monitor to her ear. “You have done this before, haven’t you?”

“Yeah.” He gave her a crooked smile. “Now…can I help you to bed before I take off? Unless you want me to stay and help with Micah. I could crash on the couch.”

“No, ah…I can get myself to bed. Thanks.” She sat up, steadied herself and followed him to the entry hall. “I really do appreciate the help today.”

Johnny turned back to her when they approached the front door. “Do you think I could come back and visit Micah sometime?” He leaned in close and got a whiff of her freshly shampooed hair. She was rumpled from dozing on the couch and it was the sexist thing he’d ever seen.

“Yeah…but,” she held her hand out, “hold on.” Then she leaned over the entry table and scribbled something on a pad of paper before ripping it off and handing it to him. “My phone number, so you can call first next time.”

Johnny smiled and took the phone number and pen from her, brushing his fingers over hers. He jotted down his number and handed the pen back. “And you can call me whenever you need a babysitter…or a dinner date.” He gave her one last grin and lumbered out the door.

Johnny drove home slowly, wishing he had convinced her to let him stay. His new place was amazing, but so quiet it drove him crazy. He parked his truck in the circular drive and went inside the house, sidestepping the boxes. He’d been in town for a few days, but he hadn’t done much of anything. He wasn’t due to start working at the Santa Rosa Police Department for a few weeks and he had no idea what to do with himself until then.

Besides Ali, the only people he knew in town were Mark and Sarah, who were on vacation. He’d gotten familiar with Brian Hammel and his wife Julie, but not familiar enough to drop by and make himself at home. The only thing that made him more familiar with Ali was having her naked and stretched out underneath him in Hawaii. He plopped down on the huge sectional sofa, playing that night over again in his head. She’d haunted him. He couldn’t stop thinking about her and more importantly, he didn’t want to stop thinking about her.

Sarah, his childhood sweetheart, had offered to rent him her house when he told her about moving out here. He and Sarah had reconnected last year when he’d received a call from Brian Hammel about a cold case murder involving Sarah’s step-dad.

Ali’s ex-husband, Mark Summors, and Sarah were married in Maui on Valentine’s day and Johnny had never seen a woman happier than Sarah was now. She was very pregnant with Mark’s baby and now a step-mother to Jamie—who also happened to be Ali’s son.

The memory of Sarah and Mark’s wedding brought a smile to his face. He didn’t expect to see Ali at the wedding. He’d hoped, and that hope was what made him accept the invitation. He hadn’t stopped thinking about her since they’d first met in December and he’d wanted her the moment he’d laid eyes on her.

He’d moved from Nashville to Santa Rosa just to be close to her. There were other great reasons to move here. The weather, the pretty girls, he was ready for a change…but Ali was the deciding factor.

It all came back to Ali. He didn’t give a damn that she was going through a divorce with Micah’s father, her second husband. In his eyes, Ali was single and available. Now that she had told him the details, and he’d seen the hurt in her haunted expression, the whole thing pissed him off.

It didn’t change how he felt though; he wanted all that golden blond hair and those golden brown eyes. Stunning—it was the only word to describe her. Everything about her attracted him…her brains, her sense of humor, her delicate soft skin, and perfect soft little body. He wanted every part of her.

Chapter Three

At three am, Micah’s crying shrilled through the baby monitor. Ali rolled over and moaned, sliding off the bed. She pulled her robe on as she padded to his room.

“Hey, sweetpea, it’s okay, Mommy’s here.” She picked him up and cradled him until his crying stopped, and then changed his diaper before carrying him out of the room.

On her way down the hall, she stopped in front of Jamie’s room. It was dark and cold. The outline of his empty bed glowed in the moonlight shining through the crack in his race car curtains. She hated not having Jamie home, but she couldn’t say no when Mark asked if they could take Jamie on vacation with them. Having been kept away from his dad during the Maylyn threat, Jamie missed Mark severely. She also wanted to give the three of them family time together. Jamie needed some solid ground with his dad, especially with Sarah being pregnant. All of these changes were too much for one little boy. His dad was in the middle of building a new family, and she, his mom, was in the middle of dividing their family with her divorce from Carl.

When Micah let out an impatient wail she patted his back. “I know, baby, I miss Jamie too.” With a heavy heart, she left Jamie’s room and carried Micah downstairs.

Ali pulled the bottle out of the fridge and the remaining beer in the back caught her eye. Carl’s beer…no, Johnny’s beer. Ugh…who’d of thought…moved to California permanently.

Carl had left for good and Johnny came to stay. She looked down at Micah, this is not a complication we need right now.

He wiggled in her arms, ready to eat. “I’m tired. You’re wearing me out, baby. After this bottle do you think you can sleep at least until nine a.m.?” She placed the bottle in the warmer and paced the kitchen, rocking him in her arms.

He stared at her with his fist in his mouth.

“I love you even when you don’t let me sleep.”

Micah kicked out, his body stiffening, and he whined again. The light on the bottle warmer clicked off. “Just in time,” she muttered and tested the milk temperature before putting it in Micah’s eager mouth. She walked back upstairs to the nursery and curled up with Micah in the rocker.

The celestial nightlight dimly lit the room, reflecting a crescent moon and stars on the ceiling. Her troubles seemed to melt away when she sat in the peaceful space with her baby. She was so hopeful when she and her sister Melissa had decorated the nursery and picked out the furniture. Even when Carl wouldn’t step foot in the room, Ali still held out hope. She was sure when Micah was born, Carl wouldn’t be able to resist him. She still didn’t understand how anyone could resist such a beautiful baby, much less their own flesh and blood. But it didn’t matter, Micah’s room still represented hope to her.

Being a single mother was never in her master plan for life. Ever. But from the moment she found out she was pregnant, everything in her life had changed and she wouldn’t take the old life back for anything. Micah was perfect and no matter what, she’d raise a wonderful, smart, and caring son all by herself if she had too.

Micah would never have a dad to coach little league, or teach him how to ride a bike, but neither had Ali. She’d lost her father at eight. Granted she’d already learned how to ride a bike, but she still missed having her dad there for so many other important things in her life. Would Mother be such a judgmental and angry person if they hadn’t lost daddy? Her parents were so in love, she remembered their favorite song…and the two of them dancing around the living room whenever it played on the radio. God how she’d wanted that too. True love with her best friend. Ali rolled her eyes and shifted Micah in her arms. Oh yeah, she’d had that, she’d married her best friend and broken his heart.

But still, her marriage to Mark was another thing in her life she couldn’t regret. She had Jamie, and in reality, Mark was still her best friend. Even when he hated her for marrying Carl, Mark always came through for her. Seeing him happy…watching him marry his perfect match, well, that was a great day. Mark and Sarah deserved happiness more than any two people she’d ever known.

Ali tipped the empty bottle up and set it on the small table next to the rocker. Lifting Micah as she stood, she leaned closer and kissed him. God how she loved him, it still amazed her how blessed she was with such a miracle. She never thought she could love someone like she loved Jamie, but that was one of the best things about motherhood, giving and receiving complete unconditional love. Funny how love drifted in and out of her life so easily in some cases, yet stood steadfast in others. Carl was gone forever, but here she was, holding the most precious gift he could have ever given her. She smiled. A fair trade indeed.

As Ali stepped out of the shower the phone rang and she ran for it, stubbing her toe on the dresser when she reached it. “Ouch—Hello!”

“Did I catch you at a bad time?” Johnny drawled.

“Oh-oh-oh—no.” She sucked air through her teeth and tried to walk off the pain. “I stubbed my toe running for the phone.”

“Sorry ‘bout that.”

She heard the smile in his voice and chuckled. “I was going to call you today.”

“Do you need help with Micah again? I hope he’s not still feeling under the weather.”

“No, he’s fine. Maybe he just needed a break from me.” She rolled her eyes and snickered. “I thought I’d stop by and bring you a thank you, slash, house-warming present for helping me the other day.”

“Really-aw, well that’s nice,” Johnny said. “I guess Micah let you sleep last night. You sound rested.”

“He only woke me up once, but Jamie called early and woke me with the phone. I’m glad though, I miss him and it was a nice way to wake up. Anyway, do you need anything for your place? Anything for the kitchen, or bathroom?”

“Well…I’m only missing one thing and you can’t bring me that.”

“What? I’ll get it, no big deal.”

Johnny laughed. “I need a bed. Sarah let me rent the place furnished, but she took the bedroom set.”

“Oh—you’re right, I can’t bring you a bed.” Ali pulled her clothes out of her closet and laid them on the bed. “Hey, why did you call me?”

“I wanted to ask if you and Micah would have another meal with me.”

“A meal?”

“Yeah…well, I didn’t want to limit myself. Breakfast, lunch, or dinner—even a snack or coffee at Starbucks.”

“You’re funny,” Ali said. “How about I’ll bring the meal to you as my thank you.”

“Hum…I don’t know. That kinda goes against my original plan for a meal. You see, in my plan, I provided the meal. How about…I’ll let you provide the meal this time if you promise to have another one with me, and let me provide it?”

“You have some problem with a woman paying?”

“No—no, darlin’, relax. I’m just trying to get a second date.”

“This isn’t a date.” But what would she call it? “It’s a…thank you lunch.”

“If you feel better believing that, then okay.”

She heard the smile again. Her cheeks heated and she put her hand to her face as if he could see it.

“Are you still there?” he asked.

“Yeah, what do you want to eat?”

“Surprise me. You’re bringing Micah with you, right?”

“Are you using me to get close to my son?”

“Ha, yeah.” He cursed quietly and said, “You’re on to me, sweetheart.”

She threw her head back and laughed. “Aha! I knew it all along.”

In his sweetest drawl, the one that melted her knees and her resolve to stay away from him, he said, “I’ll see you when you get here.”

“-kay, see you in a while.” She dropped to the bed and fell back.
What the hell are you doing, Al?

Chapter Four

When Ali pulled into the driveway, a Rolling Stones’ song streamed out from the open front door. She grinned at him when he stepped out of the house.

“Hey, beautiful.” He reached for the car seat, but she waved him off.

“The food is in the passenger seat.” She nodded to the other side of the shiny black Lexus. Johnny jogged over and pulled out a box full of small white Chinese food containers.

“Good choice,” he crooned. “Smells delicious.”

Ali entered the house, but stopped inside the front door. “My goodness, have you unpacked anything yet?”

Boxes lined the living room wall at least halfway up. Most of them still taped closed, a few open but still full.

“I’ve been working on the kitchen. I haven’t touched this room yet. Follow me.” He turned down the music and carried the food into the kitchen.

Ali glanced at the folded blankets on the end of the large sectional sofa. “I guess this is your bed for now?”

“Yeah, and it’s not bad.”

Ali set the car seat on the high counter, placing Micah at their height. “Ah…much better,” she said looking around the clean kitchen.

When Johnny put the box of Chinese food down, Ali started searching for plates as he unhooked Micah from the car seat.

“Hey, little guy.” Johnny propped him in his arms. “Would you like something to drink, Ali?” he said, leaning over the fridge, still holding Micah. “I have beer, coke, diet coke, orange juice?”

Ali chuckled. “Do you drink diet Coke?”

“No.” He pursed his lips together and shook his head.

She took the soda when he handed it over. “Then why did you buy it?”

“You drink it and I was hoping you might be over to visit soon.” The little boy grin on his face was telling and irresistible. “How about you, Micah…a little whiskey with your formula? I bet you’re pissed at your Mama for not breastfeeding. I would be—“

“Ah—Johnny!” How did he… “How do you know I don’t breastfeed?”

Johnny grinned wider and looked at her breasts before meeting her eyes. “I would have”—he cleared his throat—“figured it out two months ago.”

Ali winced and ducked her head. “We don’t need to share that information with Micah.”

Johnny went straight faced, fighting against his smile. “Right, sorry.”

She had gotten a little bit of everything from her favorite Chinese restaurant, not sure what he liked. When his plate was piled high with everything from fried rice to Mongolian beef, she set it down on the table and filled her own plate.

She reached her arms out for Micah. “Here, let me take him while you eat.”

“What? You don’t trust me?” he asked turning away from her outstretched hands.

“You don’t have to hold him, go ahead and eat.”

“No, we’re hangin’ out. I can eat with one hand.”

She backed off and shrugged. “Okay, fine.”

Johnny sat Micah on his left knee, bouncing lightly while Micah looked around with wide eyes. While he ate, he kept his attention equally between her and Micah as if Micah were another adult in the room. Most men avoided her baby, avoided him like the plague.

Micah stared at Johnny with such awe. He had an open-mouth grin with a small little stream of drool falling from the corner. Ali shook her head and leaned over to wipe the drool from Johnny’s hand then from Micah’s chin.

“What?” Johnny said.

“He’s drooling all over you.”

He waved her off. “Ah, it’s just a little drool.” He shifted and stared down at Micah. “You know, he is a good little guy, perfectly happy, no complaints, no whining.”

Ali laughed a little too loud, letting the sarcasm come though. “No, you’ve just seen him when he’s happy. I think he likes you. I’ve never seen him watch anyone like he watches you. It must be because you talk to him.”

Johnny looked down again. “What do you think, Micah? You like listening to me talk?”

Micah smiled at the attention.

“He must like the sound of your voice, maybe it’s the accent.”

“Well, I’m glad someone likes it. I’ve gotten some seriously strange looks since I got here.”

“Really, I would have thought the girls like it.”

“Oh, they do. It’s their boyfriends who give me the dirty looks.”

“Ha, ha, ha, very funny.”

“Don’t worry, there’s only one California girl I’m interested in.” He lifted one eyebrow as if in proposition.

Ali looked away and took another bite. She wanted to dodge that bullet. Her being at his house, eating food, too closely resembled a date. Bad enough she couldn’t explain what possessed her to suggest lunch in the first place. Another bad choice…her life was full of bad choices.

“Does my attention bother you?”

“No, it’s your intentions that scare me. I already told you, this isn’t a good time to get involved.”

“I know you
think
that, but how do you
feel
?”

She shrugged. Another thing she didn’t want to explore. Her feelings for him were better off buried where she couldn’t find them. Their night together was bittersweet, the bitter painful, oh, but the sweet…oh so perfect. The memory left her with a constant dull ache she couldn’t quite shake. “I don’t know. It goes against my better judgment, but I am here.”

When she said this Johnny looked down at the baby and gave him an extra bounce. “She might like me, Micah.”

“Didn’t you have a girl in Nashville?”

“I was seeing a gal down there for a long time, but we broke up about a year ago.”

“How long were you together—if you don’t mind me asking?”

“A few years,” his eyes lifted to the ceiling. “About four I guess.”

“That’s a long time. What happened? You didn’t want to marry her?”

“I did want to marry her. She’s a student at Vanderbilt and wasn’t ready to get married.”

“Is that why you broke up with her?”

“First of all, I didn’t say I broke up with her, and second, no, that isn’t why I broke up with her.”

“Ah—but you did break up with her.”

Johnny took another couple of bites of his food and they both got quiet. Ali didn’t want to push him, but she sure wanted to know.

“I don’t mind if you ask,” he finally said.

“It’s none of my business, I understand that.”

“She got pregnant—“

“You broke up with her because she got pregnant?”Ali’s back straightened and she leaned forward.

“No, now”—he waved a fork at her—“you didn’t let me finish. I broke up with her for having an abortion.” His face grew stony; all the amusement he wore before was gone. “She didn’t care what I wanted, she just did what she thought was right for her.”

Ali let her fork fall to her plate, the flash of anger from a moment before, now remorse and sorrow. “Oh God, Johnny… I’m sorry.” She didn’t have the words she needed. The position of a man—a father—is never considered in those circumstances. It’s a fine line…too fine sometimes.

“She said she wasn’t ready…wanted to finish school first. I asked her to take some time to consider the alternative. I wanted to marry her, have a family, but she went right out and did it.”

“You always hear about women’s rights when people talk about abortion, but they never consider the father’s rights.”

“She crushed me.” He shook his head, grief clear in his eyes. “I was ready to start a family, excited even. We’re grownups, you know. Not like we were teenagers trying to be parents, but she only cared about herself.”

“That’s funny,” Ali said, her heart sinking at the irony.

“Funny ain’t the word I’d use.”

“Oh—no, I meant funny ironic.” She frowned. “Sorry, I didn’t mean—”

“Why ironic?”

“When I got pregnant with Micah, Carl insisted I have an abortion.”

Johnny’s blood turned cold. He looked down at Micah and Micah’s interested face made him smile. “Pretend you didn’t hear that, little man,” he said making Ali laugh.

Micah grinned too and Ali said, “I can’t believe how happy he is with you.”

“I can’t believe what an ass Carl is. How could he not want to be a part of this little guy’s life.”

She shrugged. “Honestly, I’m not even sure why we got married.” She bobbed her head from side to side, her eyes darting to the ceiling. “Well…actually I do. My mother pressured us. We both finally agreed to shut her up.”

“That is a pretty dumb reason to get married.”

“I know, story of my life.” Ali rolled her eyes. “My mother went on and on about how I cheated on Mark and the only right thing to do was to marry the man who I destroyed my marriage with. You know—to save face. She put such a heavy guilt trip on Carl, told him it was his fault, insisted Carl marry me since he caused my divorce.” Ali pushed the food around on her plate looking like she’d lost her appetite.

“How did you end up married to two completely different men?” Johnny asked.

“The truth is…I was pressured into marrying Mark too.”

Johnny narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean?”

“I wasn’t ready, but Mark somehow convinced me.” A faint smile crossed her face. “And my mother loved him. They ganged up on me.”

“You must have loved Mark though, you were married for a long time.”

“Yes, of course I did, and I’m not comparing him to Carl. Mark and I were best friends before we became a couple. I felt closer to him than my own sister…but I never felt…” Ali had a dreamy expression on her face. She pressed her hand to her chest with splayed fingers, but then her face relaxed and she blew out a long breath, frowning. “Forget it…”

He tried to picture her with Mark but couldn’t. They didn’t fit. Mark seemed made for Sarah. “You mean you didn’t have with Mark what he has with Sarah now.” Johnny thought he understood.

“Exactly. I loved him but not that
‘I’d die without you’
type of love.” She frowned again, her lids drooping. “I didn’t realize what was missing until I was with another man.”

“…fell in love with another man?”

“No, I mean, slept with another man. Mark was my first. When I slept with Carl everything hit home for me. Not because Carl is this spectacular lover, but…I realized that if I were truly in love with Mark, I wouldn’t have been able to sleep with another man. No matter how hard he tried to seduce me.”

“And the way Mark and Sarah fit together…seems you were right.”

“Yes, but Mark was still very hurt.” Ali closed her eyes and chuckled. “Sorry…it’s not funny, but I think about how hurt Mark was when we broke up, and compare it to how relieved Carl was when I threw him out of the house. I have to either laugh at it or cry about it.”

“Apparently you didn’t have that one-of-a-kind of love with Carl either.”

“No, clearly I didn’t.” She looked down. “I shouldn’t have let my mother get involved in my personal life. I shouldn’t have married Carl. What was I thinking getting involved—much less married so soon after my divorce?”

“Is that why you don’t want to see me?” he asked.

Ali nodded. “I need to get my life in order, Johnny…focus on my kids. Get my career back on track. When I got pregnant, I left the firm in San Francisco not knowing I wouldn’t have Carl here to financially support me. Fortunately the DA offered me a job in his office.”

“Bullshit, Ali. You can date and work.”

“I need to focus on my priorities, not my sex life.”

“And what about finding your great love?” Johnny looked away, hoping she wouldn’t see the hurt in his eyes.

“Ha—no. I’m two marriages and two kids past finding that now.”

“Don’t be stupid.”

She drew back. “Excuse me?”

“You’re only thirty-three years old. Life is just getting started.” Their eyes met this time and he couldn’t hide his annoyance. “You shouldn’t waste your time feeling sorry for yourself.”

Johnny cradled Micah who was getting fussy, and thought it might’ve been because he was projecting his feelings onto the baby. Ali reached out, but Johnny shook her off. “I got him. Does he need a bottle?” She nodded and got up to prepare it for him.

“I’m not being stupid,” Ali said. “I’m being smarter.”

“And what happens when this person comes around and you miss him because you’re
‘being smarter’
?”

“There is nothing—and no one to miss. I pretended there was this fairytale life out there. That was my excuse to end my marriage to Mark, a real marriage with real problems, in a real life.”

“That’s crap.”

“Well, Mr. Smarty-Pants, what about your little girlfriend in Nashville? Did she fit into a fairytale?”

“She wasn’t the person I thought she was. I was blinded to her shallow selfishness. I could have gotten past selfish, but she betrayed me and all because she didn’t want to go to school pregnant.”

“Well…I can understand waiting to have a baby. I wanted to wait until I had my law degree before I had Jamie.”

“At thirty? And a semester from finishing her Master’s degree? No. We could have done it.” Johnny took the bottle Ali held out to him and cradled Micah, gently coaxing the bottle into his mouth. “She went behind my back to abort our baby, and then didn’t understand why it pissed me off.” He tried to keep his voice level, but it was damn hard. He scoffed and muttered, “As if second chances are a dime a dozen.”

“Sometimes they are.”

“And sometimes they aren’t,” Johnny said. “Sometimes we never get a second chance.”

“Did you come here to get away from her?”

“No. I came here to start over. I got the call from Brian Hammel…his call changed everything for me.”

Ali drew her eyebrows together. “Why?”

“I was bitter and hateful and mean. I’d planned to live alone for the rest of my life.”

“So how did Brian change that?”

“When Brian told me Sarah’s story, surviving what she’d been through. He lowered his head and said, “If Sarah can get past all that, I can get over what Lisa did to me.”

“Oh…so you’re in love with Sarah.”

“No. It’s more of a brotherly thing now. But, man, her history…and then being attacked…almost raped. She was pregnant and so in love with Mark and still fighting—after all that.”

Ali nodded. “It is an incredible story and it also proves second chances do come sometimes.”

“Nobody controls nature. Sarah is a perfect example of that. She was told she couldn’t get pregnant after having a horrific miscarriage. Now she’s having a baby. Lisa treated the gift of having a child with complete nonchalance. It’s done and can’t be undone. What if she can’t get pregnant again? What if that gift is taken from me? What if I don’t get another chance to have kids—she never considered me in the equation.”