Prejudice Meets Pride (20 page)

“My ear hurts,” Kajsa complained after Emma had picked up the girls from Becky’s house.

“I’m sorry, sweetie.” Her forehead didn’t feel warm, so Emma gave her some ibuprofen and let her rest on the couch while she read with Adelynn and started making dinner.

Around six o’clock, the doorbell rang. Kajsa moved to get it, but Adelynn beat her to it, flinging the door open and revealing Kevin.

What was he doing here?

Only then did Emma remember. Dinner. And mud pie—which she hadn’t made. How could she have forgotten? She would have sent him a text and called the whole thing off. After what happened at the office, he was the last person she wanted to sit across the table from and make polite conversation.

Emma wiped her hands on a dishtowel as she approached Kevin, not sure what to say.

“Am I too early?” he asked.

“Um, no” She handed the dishtowel to Adelynn. “Will you go put that in the sink for me, sweetie?”

Adelynn nodded, and Emma pulled Kevin outside and closed the door. “I’m so sorry, but I completely forgot about tonight,” Emma said. “When Kajsa got off the bus, she wasn’t feeling well, and my mind has just been on… other things.”

“Is Kajsa okay?” Kevin asked.

“I think so. She says her ear hurts, but she isn’t running a fever and our doctor’s office is closed, so I figured I’d wait until morning to take her in.”

“I understand.” He nodded. “Rain check then?”

Um… Rain check? On dinner and mud pie? Emma hesitated. What had sounded so fun and spontaneous yesterday now made her wonder what she was doing. She was the one who’d turned the art gallery thing into a date, who couldn’t stop kissing him, who’d invited him to the park, and who’d asked him over for dinner and mud pie. Was he thinking she was an opportunistic social climber as well?

“Is everything okay, Emma?” Kevin asked, watching her closely.

Unable to keep it in any longer, Emma forced the words out. “Did you offer me a job because Janice really needed an assistant or because you felt sorry for me?”

Kevin’s eyes widened slightly before he let out a sigh and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Are you sure you want me to answer that?”

Her heart constricted. It was true then. She hadn’t misinterpreted Janice’s muttered comment. And knowing that, she couldn’t go back tomorrow. Not now. Not after this. She just couldn’t. Not even thoughts of Adelynn or Kajsa could make her lower her pride that much. Emma would find something else to do. She had to find something else. Even if it meant taking orders or flipping burgers, at least she’d be doing a job that needed doing and earning an honest salary.

“Consider this my notice,” she said, her words shaky.

A hand on her arm stopped her from going back inside. “Emma, wait. Think about this for a second, will you? You need a job that works with the girls’ schedule, and I can afford to pay you. What is so wrong with that?”

Emma yanked her arm free. “The fact that you don’t understand means you don’t know me well at all. How can you expect me to walk into your practice tomorrow, knowing I’m not needed, and still accept a paycheck? Because I can’t. Do you have any idea how demeaning it feels to know someone created a job for me out of pity? What did you do, tell Janice that you’d hired an assistant for her and she needed to find something for me to do?” Just saying the words made Emma’s stomach tie itself into knots.

Kevin shuffled his feet, but didn’t answer her question, which gave Emma her answer. No wonder Janice had been bugged by her from the get-go. Who wouldn’t be?

Once again, tears started to pool in her eyes—tears that Emma wanted to go away. She was so sick of crying over this, of feeling like a failure. She wanted to crumple up this day and throw it into the nearest landfill, like she did a drawing that wasn’t coming together the way it should.

Kevin moved closer and cupped her cheek, his thumb wiping away the tears that refused to go away.

Something snapped inside Emma, and she jerked her head away, glaring at him. “I am not a charity case, and you are not my benefactor!” she cried. “How many times do I have to tell you that?”

“What should I have done, Emma? Stand by while you go to work for some fast food place, earning minimum wage?”

“At least it would have been an honest wage earned. Now I feel like I need to return all those paychecks you gave me.”

“For crying out loud, Emma!” Kevin’s jaw clenched, and he threw up his hands. “Take the money, take the job, and get over your stupid pride.”

Emma’s mouth fell open. Did he really expect her to take the job, the money, put up with Janice’s slights, and ignore the fact that it was all a farce? What was so wrong with having pride? It had gotten her through school without going into debt or taking money from the government. It had gotten her some independence and self-respect. And now Kevin wanted to strip it all away and turn her into someone who was okay with taking handouts from others. He really didn’t know her at all.

She glared. “You can give your money and your made-up job to someone who needs it. Because I don’t.”

“Emma, be reasonable.” He reached for her arm, but she yanked it away.

“Like it or not, I am who I am, and nothing you say is going to change that. So you can tell Janice to rest easy, because I won’t be showing up anymore.”

Kevin made a guttural sound and clenched his fists. “Why do you have to be so…
frustrating
?”

Emma twisted the knob and opened the door, signaling an end to the conversation. “I could say the same thing about you,” she said quietly, before walking inside and closing the door firmly behind her.

Emma pulled the covers over the two sleeping girls, wondering how she was going to take care of them now. Kevin was right. She’d probably have to take a minimum wage job somewhere with an inflexible schedule, no benefits, and a paycheck that barely covered the utilities.

She leaned over and kissed each soft forehead, feeling the same, scary sense of responsibility and loneliness she’d felt the day she’d left her brother’s house to drive west. Was this how all single parents felt? If so, her heart went out to them all.

As if on cue, her phone rang with Noah’s ringtone.

Emma quickly exited the room and answered it in the hall. “Hey, Noah," she whispered.

“Where are my girls?” he said jovially. “Please don’t tell me they’re asleep already. I have some great news and can’t wait to tell them.”

For a moment, Emma was tempted to wake the girls so they could talk to their daddy, but Kajsa wasn’t feeling well and Adelynn was a bear when she got woken up. She hoped Noah would understand. “I’m sorry, but Kajsa isn’t feeling well, and they both fell asleep watching a movie after dinner. I really don’t want to wake them.”

“Oh.” The disappointment in his voice had Emma second-guessing herself. “The late hours I work really suck sometimes.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

Emma mustered a perky tone. “Can you tell me the good news? I promise to keep it to myself, so you can tell the girls tomorrow.” At least one of them had something positive worth sharing, and Emma could use something positive right now.

“I’m coming for Thanksgiving.”

“What?” Emma pressed the phone closer to her ear, and a happy warmth seeped into her chest. “Are you serious? How?” Flying home over the holidays was expensive, and they’d both agreed that he should spring for Christmas, but not Thanksgiving.

“A friend of mine is dating a gal who works for an airline company. She said she can get me a couple of buddy passes.”

Emma closed her eyes and dropped down on the couch. That
was
good news. Wonderful news. The heaviness on her shoulders seemed to lighten and happy tears filled her eyes. “That’s so great, Noah. So, so great. The girls are going to be ecstatic.” Emma was ecstatic.

“Are you crying?”

“Yes,” she said with a sniff, then chuckled. “I’m surprised I still can. It might be the tenth time today.”

“Why?” His voice became concerned. “What happened?”

Too late, Emma realized her mistake. The last thing Noah needed to hear right now was about her lousy day or the fact that she no longer had a job. But how could she explain crying ten times in one day without telling him the truth?

“Emma?”

“It’s just been a day, that’s all,” she said, wiping at her eyes. “You have no idea how happy I am to hear you’ll be here in a few weeks.”

“What. Happened?” he repeated, enunciating each word.

Emma dropped her head to her hands as the worst of her distress came sailing back. She’d thought she’d already hit rock bottom for the day and was on her way up, but Noah had to go and push her back down into it.

“I lost my job,” she finally said. Actually
quit
her job was more truthful, but she couldn’t bring herself to tell her brother that. He wouldn’t understand any more than Kevin did. Maybe it was a guy thing.

“How? What—”

“They were overstaffed and didn’t need me anymore. Last one in, first one out. You know the drill.”

“I’m so sorry, Emma.”

“It’s okay. I’ll find another one soon. And in the meantime, I have your arrival to look forward to.” She paused. “How are you doing?” Noah never really talked about himself, but she knew he still struggled with the loss of his late wife. If only he’d open up and let out some of the pain that must be festering inside him.

“I’m really excited to see my girls.”

“I know.” Emma sighed. Why did she have to be the only weak one in the family? Why couldn’t she learn to keep it together like Noah always seemed to do? He’d probably never cried ten times in his entire life, let alone in one day.

“Have they decided on Halloween costumes yet?” he asked.

“As if there was anything to decide,” said Emma. “Kajsa wants to be a cowgirl, and Adi a princess.”

“Shocker.”

Emma laughed, and the release it gave her felt good.

A yawn sounded on the other end of the line, followed by Noah’s voice. “I better hit the sack. I’ll try to call a little earlier tomorrow.”

“I’ll keep them awake until you do.”

“Thanks, Emma,” Noah said. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“You’ve raised some pretty amazing little girls,” she said. “It’s made my job easy and wonderful. I can’t wait to see their faces when they see you walk off that plane.”

“Yeah.” She could hear the smile in his voice. “That’ll be a good day.”

“Talk to you tomorrow.”

“Kay.”

The line went dead, and a lonely silence careened through the room, weighing down Emma’s shoulders once again. She made her way to her room and tried to get some sleep, but that weight seemed to press her body into the mattress, making her feel every lump and lopsided spring. When she couldn’t take it anymore, she threw off the covers and sat up, glaring into the darkness as if it were to blame.

Maybe if she got a drink and watched a movie, she could trick her mind into finally shutting off. So she filled a glass with water and hit “play” on whatever DVD the girls had last watched. It turned out to be Rainbow Bright—a story about a girl who was not only perpetually happy but self-sufficient as well.

Awesome.

Emma flipped off the TV and collapsed on the couch, staring at the ceiling. Light footsteps sounded from down the hall, and Kajsa soon appeared, clutching at her ear as tears seeped down her cheeks.

“Oh no, is it hurting again?” Emma asked.

She nodded. “It’s worser.”

“Oh, sweetie, come here.” Emma lifted Kajsa on to her lap and held her close. She brushed her hair back and felt heat on her forehead—lots of heat. The poor girl was burning up.

Emma settled her on the couch and ran to grab a thermometer out of the first aid kit. She slid it into Kajsa’s mouth, and when she pulled it out a moment later, the red line went all the way up to the neighborhood of 102. Yikes, that was high.

What now? Adelynn was still asleep, and it was nearly midnight. Should she give her some more medicine and wait until morning, or should she go to the urgent care now? Was urgent care even open at this hour, or would they need to go to an ER? Emma tried not to worry about the expense.

Kajsa groaned and shifted, as though she couldn’t get comfortable either, and Emma made a quick decision. Becky was out of town with Justin, but Sam was home. “Why don’t you rest here for a minute while I get you some more medicine? Then I’m going to call Sam and see if she can sit with Adelynn so I can take you to the doctor.”

Kajsa settled down on the couch, still clutching her ear.

Sam rushed over within minutes of Emma calling. She brought one of her old stuffed bunnies for Kajsa to help get her mind off the pain. Emma thanked her with a hug, then took Kajsa outside and buckled her into Sunshine. She turned the key in the ignition, and a
click, click, click
sounded.

You’ve got to be kidding me!
Emma wanted to scream. First her job, then Kajsa’s illness, and now this. Her mother had always said that accidents came in threes, so Emma should have expected it, but why couldn’t number three have waited to strike until morning?

Kajsa’s whimpering brought Emma back to her senses. She glanced through her window at Becky’s completely dark house across the street. Now what? Almost involuntarily, Emma’s gaze drifted toward Kevin’s house, where his front room flickered in the darkness, signaling that the TV was on inside. Her stomach twisted into knots at the thought of asking for help after all that had happened, but he was awake, and if there was one thing Emma had learned over the past couple of months, it was that she could count on him.