Pretend With Me (Midnight Society #1) (3 page)

“I’m sorry Jen, but you don’t have a choice. I get that
Daren was special to you and I get that you’re still
dealing... but this is final.”
“Please, don’t make me do this,” I begged her. “Send
me back to Trinidad - send me to that stupid boarding
school you wanted to - I don’t care, just don’t make me
marry him. I can’t marry him - I can’t marry someone else,
please... I’ll be good - I swear, no more breaking school or
cutting classes, or fighting - nothing. I’ll go back to being
the perfect daughter I was before he died. I promise no
mess ups this time. It’s only been three weeks, please!”
“I’m trying to get better, I swear I am. Don't you think
that I want to forget about him? I wish I could, all it does
is hurt; it hurts to think about him and to remember him.
It hurts to breathe... but I’m trying... I’ll try harder; I won’t
be like this anymore… Just… please don't do this to me.”
Tears flowed freely down my face at this point and I
closed my eyes in an attempt to stop them. I took a deep
breath, trying to find some sort of release, but as usual
none came. My heart was heavy in my chest. I wanted to
curl up in a ball and disappear. Wiping my eyes, I reopened them and looked to my mom, begging her to
understand. She knew about Daren, how could she still
force me to do this?
“This isn’t about you acting out Jen,” she told me,
wiping away her own tears. “We understand why you’re
acting out.”
“Then what?” I wiped away more tears, but as soon as
they were gone, my face was coated with new ones.
“Exactly what we said, Dr. Wilson helped you stay
alive. He made you so strong in such a short time that it
was a miracle. We owe him everything we have, and he
wants you to marry Eric. We didn’t have a choice, we
couldn’t let you die.”
“No!” I shouted angry now. My voice was steady and
venom coated. “You kept me in the dark, mom. You lied
to me… my entire life you all lied to me.”
“We weren’t sure what Eric would decide,” my dad
explained. I turned to Eric now. All his words in the car
now made complete sense.
“You knew,” I said, but it came out as a question rather
than a realized statement.
“Yes,” he nodded. “I knew since you were born.”
“It seems that everyone knew about my ‘wedding’ but
me,” I said to all of them. I turned to my mom and dad
“You know what this is going to do to me; I hope you’re
happy when it all crashes. But fine,” I smiled without any
humor, turning back to Eric, “have me if you will, but
you’re a fool because I promise that I will make our
married life
Hell
,” I threatened, and began to walk out of
the room. Just when I was at the doorframe I turned back
to him, and our eyes met for a second before he lowered
his head. “By the way Eric you were right - I do hate you.
Congrats on your engagement.”
Later that night, after Eric and his parents had left for
their hotel and my parents were in bed, I sneaked out of
the house, not knowing where I was going. I found myself
walking without direction, and without hope. Every part of
me ached and throbbed with pain. My entire body hurt; it
hurt to breathe, to walk, to pretend like I wasn't dying with
every step I took. But I couldn't stop walking because I
knew if I did, I wouldn't be able to start moving again.
That night was also the first time since Daren died that
I cried. I just cried and cried, and screamed at the sleeping
world, hoping that my screams would attract some kind of
psychopat, and that person would finally put me out of my
misery.

There was blood everywhere I looked. It was pouring
out of his chest in huge amounts, and all I could do was sit
at his side and stare at him horrified. How could I let this
happen? This was my entire fault. My best friend, the
person I loved with everything I had in me was dying in
front of my eyes, and I could do nothing to stop it. I felt
so helpless, absolutely powerless. Tears streaked down my
face, and then just like that, I opened my eyes to find
myself at my parents’ house in my bedroom.

I sat up in my bed and wiped my face dry. It was a
short while after that I realized I wasn’t alone, and
instantly my heart kicked into overdrive, sending fear
rushing through me. My entire body was shaking, but it
was only Eric, casually leaning against my bedroom door
as if that wasn't creepy at all.

“Hi,” he smiled, looking at me with an almost sad and
knowing expression on his face.
I was instantly on edge as I placed my carefully,
practiced mask on my face. It slipped on easily and just like
that the cold-hearted, bitchy Jen was back. I welcomed that
side of me because it was the only way I knew to survive.
It was the only way to stop the pain, and have nothing but
numbness washing over me, encasing me in a hard cocoon
shell. “How long have you been here?” I asked, narrowing
my eyes at him. “Stalking isn’t romantic.”
“Exactly five minutes. And I’m not stalking you, your
mom sent me to get you but I got distracted. She wants to
speak to you,” he frowned.
Great, more news, I thought. I let my head fall into my
waiting hands, and I stayed so for a moment. “Am I going
to like this?” I whispered, not looking at him.
“No, I don’t think so.” I raised my head to look at him
then.
“What is it?” I asked.
“May I?” he gestured to my bed, and I nodded pulling
my feet under me so he could sit. “Well... um... we, my
parents and I live really far away and your mom wanted
you – well both of us to be... er... comfortable together. So
after you left last night, our parents decided that it would
be best if we... lived together until we’re married,” he
stopped, contemplating on whether he should continue or
not.
I thought about that for a second and then took a deep
breath before saying “Okay.”
He nodded, and took my hand in his. Already I could
feel my awareness of him go up a notch, and my brain cells
clicking off. A huge part of me wanted to rip my hand
from his, but I liked the feeling - the warmth that radiated
through me so I didn’t. “In my home town,” he finished.
“When?” I frowned.
“We leave today.” Eric had spoken each word slowly
and carefully, measuring my reaction.
I pulled my hand from his instantly, shutting my eyes as
I attempted to control my emotions. When I reopened
them I was calm, or at least seemed to be. “Can’t I have a
day? You’ve already taken my future from me, give me
today,” I whispered looking up at him.
“I can’t, I’m sorry-”
“Save it for someone who cares. Get out,” I snapped,
at the edge of tears.
“What?”
“My room stupid. Get out of my room.” My voice held
no emotion but at least I wasn’t screaming at him or
stabbing him repeatedly with a dull kitchen knife. That
would solve my problem, wouldn’t it?
He rose silently from my bed and walked out of my
room. The door closed behind him like a ghost and it was
only then that I allowed myself to cry. I had thought that I
was going to have some months at least, but I wasn’t even
going to get that. Tears slid down my face silently and
dropped into my open palm. My throat tightened and I
choked up. In my chest my heart felt heavy and hard, like
metal. I could almost hear Daren in my head now, telling
me that it was my fault he was dead - that I had agreed to
marry him and now Iwas going to marry Eric.
I took a deep breath, steadying myself. Then I wiped
my eyes and got out of the bed heading for my toilet and
bath. I washed my face and brushed my teeth and then
proceeded to strip. The water was hot on my skin, almost
blistering, but I didn't adjust the heat. Instead, I stayed
under the scalding spray, unmoving and hurting, stretching
out my shower for as long as I could. When I was done I
took my time getting dressed. I was just about finished
combing my hair when there was a knock on my door. I
turned to the door, scowling. It was probably Eric coming
to tell me that we had to leave now.
“What?” I snapped, playing the part of a bitch.
“It’s me, Eric.”
“I know, that’s why I’m pissed, annoyed and angry,” I
called out packing as much hate as I could squeeze into my
voice.
“I have something to tell you.” I stalked over to the
door and opened it.
“Great,” I muttered. “More news that-” I was abruptly
stopped by Eric’s lips.
A feeling overtook me then - a feeling of being sane, as
if all the while I'd been stumbling around in insanity. My
eyes closed, my fist unclenched, the forever present scowl
on my face vanished as my heart sped up and I was
suddenly kissing him back with as much energy and
passion as I could.
Somewhere inside me I was aware that I didn’t want
this. A voice screamed in my head that I didn’t like this
boy or want him to be kissing me. That Eric was forcing
me to marry him and I planned to hate him for the rest of
my life. That I had promised, in front of our families to
make his life Hell. That this was wrong, I shouldn’t be
doing this, so why in God’s name was I kissing him back?
Why was I enjoying this – the feeling of his hand running
along my spine and through my hair, the feel of my hands
on his skin?
He suddenly pulled away from me then and loosened
my hands from around his neck. I took a dazed step away
from him, shaking my head, trying to clear the confusion
now pulsing through me. “That shut you up, didn’t it?” he
smirked and pushed past me, then slumped down on my
now tidy bed staring at me triumphantly. “So now that I
have your attention,” he began. I still couldn’t move. I had
shocked myself beyond comprehension. “I have
something to tell you.”
I forced myself to turn to him fully and found that he
was smiling like that cat from Alice in Wonderland, as if
he’d just figured out some ancient secret that had been
troubling man since the beginning of time. I almost smiled
at his boyish grin, but I was too pissed off and guilt-ridden.
“First thing though, your mom sent these for you.” He
opened his hand and held out three tiny, ruby red, oval
shaped pills. They were my medication – the very ones his
father supplied me with.
“I don’t want that,” I said, knowing I was being
stubborn yet not being able to help it. It was because of
those pills that I was being forced to marry him.
“But you know. . .” he trailed off staring at me
confused.
“Yes, I’ll die,” I replied without emotion. “Who knows
I’ll go to Heaven, or maybe Hell,” I shrugged uncaring.
“Either way I’ll be rid of three things I despise – you, our
marriage, and my life.”
Rage and anger flashed in his eyes and he was abruptly
in front of me. The door swung shut and out of surprise
and fear, I jumped. How could he move so fast? I hadn’t
seen him get off my bed, further more shut the door. One
second he was on my bed and the next he was inches from
my face.
“Take the pills Jenifer,” he demanded, his eyes going
slightly darker from anger.
“No,” I spat at him looking in his eyes defiantly.
“God!” he swore walking away from me, throwing his
hands up to the side of his head. “Why can’t you stop
being so childish? You need to grow up!”
“Fine!” I screamed. “I will, when you begin to hate me
and call off this stupid fake marriage Eric! Save yourself
the time, trouble and pain – do it now.”
“I can’t!” he screamed back.
“Yeah right,” I shouted back frustrated.
“Do you think I want to marry you?” I knew that was a
lie. Last night my dad had said so – that the final decision
was Eric’s. “It’s not like I had a choice either,” he spat at
me. “But if you want my hate so badly,” he shouted and
was suddenly in front my face once again. “Fine! You have
it,” he sneered. “Now take the pills, Jenifer!”
“No!”
His light eyes went darker with rage, and for just a split
second it was no longer blue. Suddenly one hand was
wrapped around my neck, and I was stepping back against
my will. My back slammed into the door with a loud thud.
As soon as my back hit the door, he released my neck,
placing his arm across my chest, pinning me against it.
“Take the pills, Jenifer or I’ll shove them down your
throat,” he sneered.
Instantly my mind went back to that night, and I found
my body going numb from complete fear. I expected him
to hit me - to hurt me in every way he could hurt me, and
in response I tensed, waiting to absorb the pain.
A split second later something stirred in me, and I felt
pure adrenaline pulsing through my veins. What was I
doing? Daren had died because I couldn't help myself. I
had seen him bleeding out, I had smelled his blood as I’d
held him in my arms and felt his last breath all because I
had been weak. I was not the girl from that night anymore.
I wasn’t going to let anyone else hurt me like I had been
hurt. This time I was going to fight back.
My body reacted on its own, and I felt my hands
clawing at his face and arms, anything that I could reach.
In a knee-jerk reaction, my knee went up, and Eric
suddenly crouched in front of me moaning, swearing curse
words at me.
“I’m not taking the pills,” I smiled sweetly, masking the
fear coursing through me as best as I could.
That did it. I watched in horror as he slowly stood up
and turned to face me with death shining in his eyes. In
that moment, he didn’t seem human anymore. He was
cold and heartless, and I was terrified of him. I saw his
hand clench into a fist, then slowly he brought it up to his
eye level. All I had time to do was raise my right hand to
shield my face or at least soften the blow, before his fist
shot towards me.
His hand connected with my wrist and instantly a loud
crack echoed through the room. He stood frozen, his fist
still touching my wrist as it throbbed with pain, either
broken or sprained, and it fuelled my anger. Suddenly I
was no longer afraid of him. I only felt hate and anger
sizzling in my veins. I clenched my left hand and
connected it with his jaw, forcing as much strength as I
could muster behind the punch. Eric didn’t even flinch. It
was like my punch had meant nothing. I hadn’t hurt him at
all, and that just made me more fucking angry.
A low animal-like growl escaped his throat and then the
next thing I knew I was abruptly on my bed. Again just as
before, one second I was standing at the door, then I had
blinked and I was now lying flat on my back. Eric was on
top of me, and my hands were pinned under each of his
legs at my sides.
“What are you going to do?” I pushed. “Rape me,
show me that you’re in control, is that it?” I sneered up at
him, being as defiant as I possibly could. “I’ve been
through worse than rape Eric, do your worst. The most
you can do is kill me, and I’ve been through a lot worse
than death, too.”
Instantly, he pulled back, staring down at me in
complete and total shock. Horror filled his eyes, and for a
moment his mouth hung open loosely. “What?” he
frowned in disbelief.
“My parents are home, I’ll scream 'till you rip my throat
out.”
“I’m flattered you think so lowly of me,” he said
suddenly calm now. “And your parents aren’t home. They
left for work fifteen minutes ago. Now will you please take
your medication?” I didn’t answer; instead I stared at him
disobediently, pushing him to hit me again. Maybe this
time he wouldn’t stop midway. Maybe this time he’d kill
me.
“I’m not going to kill you, Jen. You’re much too
important for that, which is why you must take the pills,”
he snarled giving me another chance. Still I said nothing.
“Fine then,” he sighed.
He squeezed my mouth open and dropped the pills in.
Before I could spit them out in his face, he leaned forward
and got the bottle of water I always kept on the bedside
table and emptied its contents into my mouth.
As water filled my mouth, natural instincts kicked in
and I immediately gulped it down as fast as I could. When
he was satisfied, he got off me and in the same movement,
pulled me into a sitting position at his side. I was instantly
leaning over coughing up water at my feet on the floor
while he patted and rubbed my back. My throat burned as
if he’d poured acid down it instead of water.
“Are you okay?” I heard him ask at my side, and I
nodded without thinking.
“Good,” he snapped and got up from my bed, walking
to the door. Just as he was about to open it, he spun
around to face me. “By the way, you get to go to school
today. I talked to my parents and managed to convince
them that we could leave later. I’ll be in the car.” He then
turned and stalked out of my room, leaving me alone.
I stayed on my bed for a minute, staring at the door
Eric had just shut. I listened to his footsteps creeping
down the stairs, and it was only when I heard the front
door bang I allowed myself to move – to let out the breath
I was holding. I waited until my heart was tame, and my
breathing even and steady to get off my bed and tiptoe to
my bathroom. I didn’t know why, but I felt the need to be
silent.
I stood in front the mirror, surveying myself for any
visible damage. There were no marks on my neck or face,
but my right wrist was already beginning to swell. I saw a
trip to the ER in my future.
Standing in front of the sink, I leaned over it and
shoved my fingers down my throat, until all the pills that
Eric had forced down into me came back up. Then I
changed my T-shirt, which was now wet, ran a comb
through my hair, grabbed my bag and headed downstairs
and outside. When I climbed into the car Eric had both
hands and his head pressed against the steering wheel, and
without saying anything or looking at me, he started the
car and pulled out of the driveway.
“Hospital or school?” he asked after a few long, never
ending minutes. His voice was blank and empty.
“Hospital,” I muttered, looking out the window. That
was it for our conversation.
When we got to the ER no one paid any attention to
me. “Hello!” I shouted when speaking to the ER nurse as a
human had failed. “Why do I have to wait? I am the only
person here!” I screamed over the counter at her.
Her eyes narrowed as she took me in, and I could tell
that she was starting to get annoyed now. She let out an
irritated sigh and flashed me a fake smile. “Miss,” she
began sweetly, and an angry breath escaped me.
Just as I was about to tell her off, Eric, who was still
brooding in silence took my left hand in his, silencing me.
“Miss, my name is Eric Wilson and,” that was all he got
out before a male nurse walked up to him and shook his
hand.
“I’m sorry Mr. Wilson… we didn’t realize. If you’ll
follow me,” he smiled. I was confused. What the Hell had
just happened?