Pretty Hate (New Adult Novel) (22 page)

“Oh, yeah, yes, we can totally go,” I said.

I called India in the back of the limo as I grabbed a beer out of the refrigerator.

“Yes?” she said.

“He sent his
driver
!” I said and sipped on my beer.

“So?”

“So, I thought he’d come himself.”

“Oh, no. They never pick anyone up at the airport themselves, Beth. It’s unheard of.”

“What do I do? This guy’s taking me to the sound check.”

“Just turn up, looking amazing, and act like yourself.”

“Jesus, India, I’ll ruin it if I do that.”

“Don’t expect him to be all lovey-dovey, love. He’s going to be busy. Act cool.”

Patrick drove around the auditorium and pulled up to a back door. He got out of the car and opened my door.

“I’ll escort you in,” he said.

“Okay,” I said and took a deep breath.

We walked into the back of the auditorium through a big open space and there were many cases of equipment being rolled around by many different people. The more I tried to stay out of everyone’s way, the more I got in everyone’s way. I turned around to ask Patrick a question so I looked like I knew someone, and he was gone. I felt like I looked like the sorest thumb in the world.

A tall, thin older man walked up to me and smiled.

“Hello, I’m Alistair Courtland. I’m the manager,” he said in a heavy English accent and shook my hand. “You must be Beth. Lovely.”

He kissed both of my cheeks as the music began. I heard Declan’s voice and my heart banged around in my chest.

“It’s nice to meet you,” I said.

“I hear you are also friends with India and Lucia. Lovely, aren’t they?”

“Yes...lovely.”

“Would you like to go around to the front and watch a little of the sound check?”

“Yes, that would be--”

“Lovely. Just for a little while though. Then Patrick is going to take you back to the hotel so you can relax. Big night tonight,” he said and took my arm as we walked around to the side of the stage. “Watch your step now.”

He showed me to a chair in front of some black rolling cases at the side stage and I sat down. Declan turned and looked at me and waved. He wore a pair of faded Levi’s, a tight, white t-shirt and motorcycle boots. He stood on the stage and fooled around with the microphones as he sang a bit. And finally, he walked over to me and smiled.

“There you are,” he said.

“Here I am,” I said and smiled.

He hugged me and kissed me on the cheek.

“How was your flight? Do you need anything?”

“It was good. No, I’m fine.”

“Still nervous?” he said.

“Uh, yeah,” I said and took a deep breath.

“You’ll be fine. Did you meet Alistair?”

“Yes, he’s lovely,” I said.

“Yes. Well, I’m going to have Patrick drive you to the hotel. This stuff is boring. You can relax and then meet me downstairs at eight, okay? There’s a bit of a party in the hotel bar. We’ll go to the show after. How’s that sound?”

“Oh, good. I thought we’d get to spend some more time...”

“It’s work, you know? I have to take care of this stuff before I can play. Don’t worry, after the show, we’ll have the whole night.”

He ran back on stage and I kept the smile plastered across my face.

“This was nothing like my dream,” I said as I watched him onstage.

I wanted to tell him I’d never be bored watching him; that I would have sat there all day.

Patrick popped up from thin air and touched me on the arm.

“Ready to go to the hotel, Miss Munroe?”

I looked at Declan and waved and he nodded.

“Sure, sounds lovely.”

“What hotel?” I said as Patrick drove us through Chicago.

“The Four Seasons, Miss Munroe,” he said as he looked in the rearview mirror at me. “It’s very nice...the best.”

He escorted me into the hotel and I tried to keep my mouth closed as I looked around the lobby. The bellman brought us up to Declan’s suite and I stood in the middle of the room and shook my head.

“This is the most amazing place I’ve ever been,” I said.

Patrick handed the bellman ten dollars and gave me a quick tour of the suite.

“Do you need anything before I go?” Patrick said.

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Are you sure? Any supplements?” he said.

“Um, no?” I said.

“Okay,” he said and smiled. “Remember to be in the lobby at eight.”

I called India as soon as he left.

“Oh, my God, India! I can’t believe this place.”

“I told you it was nice.”

“Jesus, I feel like such a hick.”

“I’m sure you look fine. How was Declan?”

“I don’t know, a little cold...distant.”

“He’s working, Beth.”

“I know, I just thought he’d seem more excited. It was kind of awkward.”

“And you’re feeling self-conscious, I’m sure. Just relax. What are you wearing tonight?”

“A dress...black and white horizontal stripes. It’s casual, knit. Looks good on me.”

“Excellent. You’ll be side-stage so a dress is perfect.”

“Hey, do you know Patrick the driver?” I said as I opened the door to the balcony.

“Yeah, why?”

“He asked me if I needed any
supplements
. I assume he wasn’t talking about vitamins?”

“You assume correctly. Anything can be brought to you on the road, Beth. It’s like traveling room service whenever you want.”

I put my hair up in pin curls and took a bubble bath in the extra big, extra deep whirlpool tub. I got out, grabbed a beer from the mini-fridge and in between texting my sisters and friends and staring at Declan’s bed, I got ready to be in the lobby at eight. I practiced walking in the heels I brought on different surfaces, played some music and tried to do my goddess breathing exercises.

I looked in the mirror in the foyer of the suite and was pleased with how I looked on the outside, on the inside, however, I was a wreck.

“You are a total fraud,” I said to my reflection.

I exited the elevator into the lobby and walked slowly across the polished marble floor. I saw Declan as I stood at the top of the landing above the bar. He looked up at me and waved. I started down three carpeted steps that went into the entrance of the bar and he stood at the bottom.

“Walk slow,” Declan said as he looked up at me. “I love the way your body moves in that dress.”

I white-knuckled the railing so I didn’t fall and when I got to the bottom, he grabbed me and pressed his body against mine. He looked over his shoulder into the bar, then pushed me backward. I took three steps back and he pinned me up against the wall with his body.

“Jesus, you look so good,” he said as he ran his hands up and down my body. “How am I going to contain myself?”

I looked into his green eyes and smiled.

“Why do you have to?”

“That’s a brilliant answer, Beth. Why do I have to?”

He pressed his lips against mine and I put my hands under his coat and wrapped my arms around his waist. He brought his mouth away from mine and caressed my cheek.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he said. “I’m sorry I couldn’t spend time with you earlier.”

“No, it’s fine. I know you’re working. This isn’t a vacation for you. I’m cool with that.”

“You’re amazing. Want to come meet my friends?”

“Yes, of course,” I said and smiled as he took my hand.

He introduced me to all of his friends and they were all polite. There were girls hovering around the bar and, just like in my dream, he didn’t even glance at them. He focused all of his attention totally and completely on me.

We made out in the limo on the way to the auditorium in front of the other band members and Alistair and I wasn’t a bit shy.

“God, I don’t want to even go on stage tonight. I just want to stay with you,” he said as he ran his fingers through my hair.

I dug my heel into the top of my foot just to make sure I was conscious.

“I wish you could just stay with me,” I said.

“After the show there’s a big party for us in the grand ballroom. Sort of a send-off for Europe. Hey, is your passport current?”

“Um, I think I lost it...I have to check,” I said.

“Well, make sure you do. Renew it as soon as you get home. Did Patrick ask you if you need anything?”

“Yes, when he took me to your room.”

“And do you?” he said.

“Oh, no, I’m fine.”

I sat in the same chair, in the same spot I did during the sound check. Watching him on stage gave me chills. I studied the people in the audience and I could tell by the looks in their eyes as they watched the band, they felt the same. To be him for just one day would erase the bad from all the days that came before.

When the show ended, the band came off stage and Declan grabbed my hand as he ran by and dragged me into the dark room behind us. As everyone else went left, Declan took a detour to the right and walked us down a narrow corridor. At the end of the hall, there was a big equipment case pushed against the wall. Declan put his hands on my waist and lifted me off the ground and sat me on top of the case.

“I just want a moment alone with you,” he said as he put his hands on my thighs. “Scoot yourself forward a bit.”

I moved to the edge of the case and he spread my knees and stood in between my legs.

“What did you think of the show?” he said as he ran his fingers up and down my arms.

“It was incredible...you were incredible,” I said.

“Thank you. We had some sound problems. I didn’t know if anyone could tell,” he said as he stared into my lap and smiled.

“I couldn’t tell. I thought you sounded incredible,” I said.

“You like the word incredible, don’t you?” he said and chuckled as he stared at my chest. “I think you are pretty incredible.”

He looked at me and took a deep breath and rested his forehead against my chest. I stroked his hair, the back of his neck, his arms and I pulled him deeper in between my legs as I tightened them around his.

“What do you want out of life, Beth?” he said as he looked up at me. “What is it that you want above all else?”

I knew what the answer was; I always knew that answer from the time I was a little girl. I just never told anyone.

“Empathy,” I said and took a deep breath.

He looked at me and smiled as nodded.

“Yes,” he said as he took two steps back. “I just want to look at you. I want to remember this.”

I wanted him to take a picture and post it on Facebook for the world to see, but I tried to remember to dial into the moment.

“You’re shy,” he said and smiled. “Your face is red. It’s quite endearing.”

“I’m an introvert,” I said as I forced myself to look into his eyes.

“I am too a little. It’s hard for us, Beth, isn’t it?”

I could not even fathom that Declan White felt the same awkwardness I did as we dodged the landmines set down by the brutality of civilization.

“Yes,” I whispered, “it is.”

“Ah, I’m sorry, Beth. I can see in your eyes that you have endured a terrible pain. I have too. I want to show you that it can be overcome. I want you to be happy. Would you like that?”

“More than anything,” I said and nodded.

He took another step back and stared at me as he smiled.

“Scoot forward a bit more, Beth. Bring that beautiful ass to the edge of the case.”

I moved forward and sat on the edge of the case. My legs dangled over and the tips of my toes nearly touched the concrete floor.

“Perfect,” he whispered. “Now, brace your arms on the case and lean back just a bit...that’s it, my girl. Now, I want you to spread your legs, Beth. Spread them as wide as they can go.”

I looked at him and then looked around the room.

“Here?” I said.

“This is where we are right now, isn’t it? Don’t be shy, love. I’m right here, it’s safe.”

I took a deep breath as I closed my eyes and spread my legs. My dress crept up my thighs and I felt the cool air between my legs.

“Look at me, Beth,” he said.

I opened my eyes and looked into his. He smiled and shook his head.

“Very nice,” he said as he took his leather jacket off and hung it off the back of a desk chair beside him.

He picked up the wooden chair and placed it down in front of me and took a seat. I looked down at him and he gripped my calves and pulled my legs a little further apart.

Declan ran his hands up my legs until his thumbs pressed into the inside of my thighs.

“Baby,” he said as he brushed his fingertips up and down the inside of my thigh, “spread your legs for me just a little bit more. Will you do that for me, Beth?”