Pretty Little Lies (Lie #2) (15 page)

“What are you ladies talking about?” Charlie asked as he placed Cherry over onto his lap.

“How lucky you were to find me.”

“You got that right.” Charlie flashed those dimples at her so charming that even I wanted to swoon.

I rested my head against Ethan’s chest and smiled. Charlie was a charmer but nothing compared to how I felt in Ethan’s arms.

Sunday March 22, 2015

Ethan

I woke up with a smile on my face and Dylan’s slender body tangled with mine. She mumbled “she loved me” in her sleep and moved fitfully. I remained perfectly still, enjoying having her next to me.

Lying next to her, I was conscious of the fact that things could be so much different. I’d spent my entire life feeding my lust and desires with the vultures of the world. I didn’t believe a soulless man such as I would’ve ever been able to hold a girl like Dylan in my arms. The kind of girl who no matter how bad life treated her spent her days trying to lift everyone else up. The kind of girl who worried about everyone but herself. A girl who’s heart was unattainable until she had a reason to believe in you. A girl who once she gave you her heart it was for life. A heart so precious once you obtained it, you never let it go.

“Ethan?”

I didn’t answer; I thought she was still talking in her sleep. It was five in the morning, and the bedroom was shrouded in darkness. The only light visible was the lights from the golf course, shining through the opening in the blinds.

She rolled over and shoved her hands under her face. “Ethan,” she whispered. “What are you thinking?”

“How excited I am to tell my family about our little girl?” I kissed her lightly and stroked her hair. “Go back to sleep, sweet love. We have a busy day ahead.”

She propped herself up on her elbow. “Can we talk?”

I mimicked her position down to the pout on her face. “What does my Privy want to talk about?”

“Me.”

“My favorite subject.” I looked at her and noticed a single tear drop in the corner of her eye.

“You know about the attack?”

I nodded. It didn’t skip my attention she always called it an attack, never rape. I wondered how much her mind was shielding her from. How much of that horrible day did she remember? Did she still unwarily remember I was the one who held her in the aftermath?

“How much do you know?” Dylan asked and started twisting the edge of the bed sheet in her hand.

“Every detail.”

“It was horrific, I know. But through it all I never thought I didn’t deserve it. I was shocked they were willing to touch me.”

I bristled. “You didn’t deserve anything. Never doubt that. What those monsters did to you was unforgivable.” I closed my eyes to avoid hers and try to rein in my temper.

“I’m not saying I did, but they touched me. After my daddy died, no one would touch me. I would go for weeks and never once feel someone else’s skin. The summer I stayed with my granny, I got lots of hugs. But no one else would touch me. It was like I was a non-human.”

I reached out to touch her and pulled her tightly against me. I didn’t know where she was going, but I knew it was slowly killing me.

“After the wreck, when I got most of my memory back, it was like there was a deep gap that separated then from now. I could see things more clearly. I realized I didn’t fight them at first because it felt good to have someone touch me. The worst pain is being invisible, being totally alone. Even when I came here for college and met Sarah, I would let guys I hated kiss on me because I just wanted someone to touch me.”

“Why are you telling me this now?”

Her face held a remarkably serious expression. She took her time considering the words she was going to say while I trailed my fingers up and down her arm. “I need you to see how screwed up I am.” She exhaled and lowered her voice. “Before we go meet your family, I need you to think about it hard. Do you really want someone like me to be the mother of your child? Someone so obviously fucked in the head.”

The idea it was my family, me, who left her feeling like that was unconceivable. She wondered if I wanted her. Hell, she even doubted whether she deserved to be the mother of my child. The thought of all she said made my heart stutter in my chest.

“I don’t know what to say other than I not only want you to be the mother of any child I might have, but I want that child to be just like you. You’re not fucked-up. The world you grew up in is. I promise that you’ll never feel that way again. All you or Elizabeth will know is love, and I’ll touch you so damn much you’ll beg me to stop.” I smiled sadly and kissed her. “I’ve never been prouder then I am at the idea of taking you home and telling everybody about Elizabeth and you’re my forever.”

I reached over and pulled up her t-shirt so that I could softly tickle her naked flesh and kiss her stomach.

“Stop it.” She giggled and writhed under my grasp, trying to get away from me. “Please E, stop.”

I continued just to give myself the joy of hearing her laughter. “Thank you for being my forever.” I stopped tickling her, and she kissed me.

****

Dylan and I cruised along I-40 on our way to Kristina’s home in Nashville. She was the halfway point between my family in Memphis and Charlie and me in Knoxville. I had kept Dylan close to my side since her confession in the middle of the night. I hated knowing she felt that way about herself. I wanted to know how to fix it . . . how to make her see how amazing she really was. But more than anything, I just needed her close to me. Our little talk shed light on how much like Jamie I really was. No, I’d never attack someone like he did Dylan, but how many women had I used and abused that were only looking for someone to touch them. They needed someone to love them and thought they deserved what I shoved out at them. Every time the thought crossed my mind, I would clasp hold of Dylan’s hand tighter. The idea of ever going back to that club was sickening.

I rubbed my fingers absentmindedly over her thigh and gripped her knee to distract my wandering thoughts. That was the first time I’d felt lost and didn’t turn to booze or drugs. I let myself feel. How Dylan had lived through all the pain and come out so fucking wonderful only reaffirmed I was the luckiest bastard in the universe to have her for myself.

We both were quiet, no doubt still reeling from her late night confession and the nerves over how the day would go. Dylan didn’t remember meeting my family, and I was terrified what meeting them again would do to her memory.

Her mood was almost tangible, and I knew she was slipping away from me and into her inner safe place.

“Are you nervous about telling them?” she asked and pulled at the oversize sweatshirt she was wearing to cover her expanding stomach.

“Are you kidding me,” I replied, smiling. “I’ve never been more excited about telling them anything! I’m going to be a daddy.” I glanced over at her and winked.

She turned to stare out the passenger door window. I was fucking tired of trying to reassure her and failing miserably. I gazed unseeing out the window and nursed what was left of my fragile pride.

“Don’t,” I murmured and turned to look at her.

“Don’t what?”

“Second guess us, doubt I don’t want this.” I reached out and grasped her hand, bringing it up to my lips, and kissed her knuckles gently. “If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t be with you. True, I would support and take care of my child, but taking care of her has nothing to do with taking care of her mother. I’m with you because there is nowhere else I want to be.”

She blinked up at me and smiled. “I wish I knew why I left, but I’m scared of losing you more than I want to know.”

“Ditto, babe,” I said as I whisked into the drive of my sister’s home.

It was high noon when I opened the car door for Dylan. Kristina’s home was on a tree lined street. It was a cottage-style house with white siding, green shutters, and a green tin roof. It was a cozy house but much too small in my opinion. I had tried and tried to get her to let me buy her a house more fitting an Asher. But each time I offered, she kindly declined.

“Are you ready for all this?” I asked and gave her hand an extra squeeze.

She nodded and glanced around at the vast collection of sports cars and luxury trucks that lined the driveway.

“It’s great. They already love you.” I brushed the hair off her face. “In case you don’t remember,” I said, and she rolled her eyes. “My mom is deaf. So be sure to look at her when you talk.”

“She’s what?” Dylan asked as I dragged her to the house.

My mom was on the doorstep waiting on us. Standing behind her with his hand placed firmly on her hip was my dad. His loyalty to her always perturbed me until Dylan walked into my life. I guess it’s true what they say about a man in love being a fool.

“Dylan, I know you’ve met,” I said and waved my hand in their direction. “But my mom, Helen, and this is my dad, Neal.”

“It’s so great to see you again. When Ethan came home for his dad’s birthday, I was worried sick about him. But you seem to have put the sparkle back into his eye,” Mom said in her thick accent.

Dylan held out her hand to shake hers, but true to my mom’s nature, she had Dylan in a bear hug before Dylan could take a breath.

Neal lightly tugged his wife off Dylan. “Dylan, it’s lovely to see you again. Please come in.”

“The party’s here.” I heard someone yell from the kitchen. Dylan glanced nervously at me.

“That would be Kristina, my big sister.”

At the mention of her name, she came barreling down the hall. “Ethan Phillip, Charlie told me. Why haven’t you called me yet?”

I bit my lip. My loud mouth brother would tell Kristina. “Your secret is safe with me. I’m just happy you brought Dylan back.”

I rolled my eyes and started to speak when my mom had me in her arms and was placing kisses on each of my cheeks. I smiled down at her and thought about all the moments we had shared in my life. It made me that much more excited about seeing Dylan interacting with our child. That was when I noticed Kristina had dragged Dylan off to the kitchen.

I froze when I found them. Brandon was there clasping Dylan’s small hand in his, and standing at his back was Victoria. A swirl of red haze swam in my head. I loved Brandon but wanted him nowhere near Dylan. Victoria was poison, and I would do everything in my power to keep her claws out of Dylan.

“Hey brother,” Jamie said to me but never took his eyes from Dylan. “It’s about time I get to meet the lovely Ms. Summers.”

I wrapped my arm around Dylan’s waist and placed my hand on her hips; spreading out my fingers, I yanked her next to me. It was unnerving having her that close to them.

Victoria step forward and lightly touched my arm before kissing my cheek. “I thought she was no one special,” she whispered in my ear but loud enough for Dylan to hear.

“You thought wrong.” The idea of Dylan hearing those words, and what more Victoria had planned for the day, sent my heart into a wild frenzy. Instead of forever, the day could be it.
No. No. No.
I wouldn’t allow it. I wouldn’t let them hurt her. I would make the day all about Dylan. I would fix all of it. I loved her enough to get through anything.

Dylan curled up against my side and clung to me as if I was her lifeline. The fear that I was about to lose all of it . . . that I was going to have to watch her walk out the door was too real. I pulled her tighter to me. I was ready to pull a Dylan and run. But I wanted to take her with me. I wanted to run as far away from there as I could get. I wanted to take her away from the past and all her memories.

“I love you,” I whispered against her hair.

I closed my eyes and inhaled her in before motioning with my eyes for Kristina to get Dylan out of there. Luckily, she took the hint and escorted her out to see her prize winning Dachshunds. I had to force my arms away from Dylan’s body, but everybody there needed to know that Dylan was my top priority, and they would treat her as such.

I watched Dylan follow Kristina into the living room, fighting with myself not to follow her. Dylan was my heart and soul . . . everything I lived for.