Price of Desire (18 page)

“As you say.
”
The tightness had returned to Mitter’s tone
,
and Wulf wondered about it briefly, before his own thoughts distracted him
.
He turned on his heel and headed up to his chamber.

Rose heard the deep rumble of his voice and the heavy fall of his booted step coming down the hall
.
Without thought
,
she stepped back around the corner, out of sight
.
Her heart pounded at the thought of coming face to face with him
.
She knew it was inevitable, she was his hostess, but surely she could be granted a few more hours to collect herself.

She clung to the shadows as he strode past
.
He’d ridden hard that morning
.
His shirt clung to his chest and moisture and dust still marked his face
.
His hair was tousled and his well-muscled thighs were clearly outlined by the tight riding breeches
.
She tore her eyes away as he turned towards his room
.
Leaning back against the wall she inhaled sharply
.
Mistake
.
It might have been her imagination, but the manly scent of leather and horses still clung to the air.

He’d left her bed only hours before
,
and still
the
desire fanned deep
with
in her belly
.
Where was the sense of calm and reason that was her ready friend
?

Tomo
r
row.

He’d said they’d be done tomorrow
.
Then her world would balance itself
,
and she and Anna would be safe
.
She’d choose a nice, steady, malleable husband
,
and her world would put itself to rights.

Yes, that’s what would happen
.
This was just a rock in the road
.
She tripped, but could now regain her footing
.
Or at least tomorrow she could
.
She just had to make it through one more day and one more night.

One more night
.
One more hot
,
sweaty night.

No, that way led only to folly
.

No matter how gorgeous he was, no matter how feminine he made her feel, no matter how her head spun and her world shifted
,
she would not follow her passions again
.
It had not brought
her
the satisfaction she desired.

It was time to choose a husband
.
She tilted her nose in the air and headed for the breakfast room
.
The time had come to get to work.

Even i
f
the whole prospect did
seem so much less desirable than it had two days
before
.

Chapter Six

“How’s the plan proceeding?
”
Lady Smythe-Burke peered up from her correspondence as Rose entered the room
.
She had a tiny pair of spectacles set on her narrow nose and sat straighter and stiffer than Rose would have believed possible
.
How could she write without bending her neck?

She shook herself a little and brought herself back to the question
.
“I am really not sure.”

“How can you not be sure
?
Either things are progressing or they’re not.””

“Well, I’ve spoken to several of the gentlemen again
.
I even talked with Mr. Giddens upon his arrival
.
But, I must confess,
I
haven’t been drawn to any of them.”

“In your correspondence you didn’t mention the need to be drawn to the prospects
.
If I’d known you were looking for that, I would have suggested a different selection.”

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean that
.
It’s just that . . . well, I haven’t sensed that any of them are quite what I am looking for.”

“Sir Barton
?
I always find him agreeable.
”
Lady
Smythe-Burke
peered from beneath the tiny lenses.

“Perhaps too much so
.
I do want a companion
.
I think I’d feel as if I were talking t
o myself
.
And, well, he . . .
”

“He didn’t pinch you, did he
?
Poor boy can’t help himself
.
I warned him you wouldn’t like it
.
Still, it does show that he’s interested.”

“No, he didn’t pinch me
.
Although, he did rather stare at
–
”

“Yes, he does do that, too
.
So, you are no longer considering him?”

Rose seated herself, feeling her own spine grow straighter as she watched Lady Smyth-Burke
.
She was so direct
.
Rose had always prided herself on being straightforward, but next to Lady Smythe-Burke
,
she felt herself a cipher.

“I wouldn’t presume to make such a decision based only upon a day’s acquaintance
.
Maybe, with time, I could form an attachment.
”
Unfortunately her mind took her words too literally and she imagined the man wrapped around her legs, slobbering
.
She knew Lady Smythe-Burke did not miss her grimace.

“Never mind tha
t then
.
What about Sommerton
?
As we’ve discussed, he wants nothing to do with his lands
.
Still think he sounds perfect for your desires
.
I’ll have to arrange for you to spend more time with him
.
Besides, I understand winning you will help line his pockets
.
A man like that never could resist betting on himself.”

“Here you are.
”
Lady Clarington sailed into the room before Rose could ask Lady Smyth-Burke to explain her last aside
.
“I wanted to know when we’re all gathering again
.
I find I miss . . . company.”

Rose could just imagine whose company Lady Clarington was missing
.
Rose doubted very much it was her husband’s
.

“We are to meet down by the lake for a picnic,” Rose said
.
“Those interested can take a boat out and the rest of us can stroll
.
The woods are very pleasant at this time of year.”

Lady Clarington pursed her lips in consideration
.
Rose could see her deciding if the possibilities for dalliance balanced the chance of getting her skirts damp.

“That sounds acceptable, possibly even amusing
.
I must go change into something more appropriate for walking.
”

Rose wondered how many inches lower a bodice had to be in orde
r to be appropriate for walking, as Lady Clarington took herself out of the room.

“I’d best change too, my dear
.
My bones chill easily these days
.
Somehow I am not sure that was what Minerva meant, though
.
Silly chit
.
She had so much more promise when she was younger
.
Shows what marrying the wrong man will do
.
Hold firm to your plan
.
We can talk more later.”

Rose was left alone to stare out the window
.
She’d dressed this morning with the outing in mind, and felt no need to change her own sensible gown and shoes
.
Her forethought in choosing a heavier fabric meant that if she was quick, she could spend a few more minutes playing with Anna
.
That had been her rationale in choosing a practical, if not particularly becoming dress
.
It had nothing to do with thoughts of armoring herself against possible temptation.

If the woman showed him any more of her breasts, Wulf decided, he would dive off the skiff, and leave her to row herself back to shore
.
He appreciated nature’s bounty as much, if not more, than the next man
.
He’d certainly demonstrated that last night
.
Against his will, his mind filled with the memory of devouring those creamy peaks, of licking them like the sweetest of custards
.
But, somehow, what on Rose made him think of pastries and honey, on Lady Clarington only made him think of cows, and of heavily lined maps, and caused him to reflect that bright sunshine was not conducive to romance.

Of course, the sun also had been bright that morning four years ago
.
Halt
.
He shifted uncomfortably on the seat, and then even more uncomfortably as he saw Minerva
Clarington
’s gaze shift, transparently contemplating anatomical conditions that had nothing to do with her.

Damn ladies
.
They were the bane of his existence
.
If only Lady Burberry really had been Rose the country miss, then the world would have been very different, indeed
.
He let his eyes close for a second, avoiding Minerva’s salacious glance
.
What if Rose had been a vicar’s daughter, of high enough standing that marriage was possible, but far from the stilted society of London, which taught ladies to be deceitful and manipulative from birth?

What if he’d never reenlisted
?
Never faced Waterloo
?
At least he hadn’t betrayed his dreams last night
.
That would have been the end, if Rose had seen the devils that haunted his sleep, seen his vulnerability, known the demons that plagued his very sanity
.

The whole experience lay heavy on him
.
It had not provided the relief he’d sought
.
Oh, his body was satisfied, or
at least had been, but his mind –
his mind still longed for something more, some half-forgotten closeness
.
He had not missed her forced detachment, her refusal to merge into their pleasure, as she had done that other time
.
Only at the very end, when there was no choice but to succumb, had she joined him inside the fire.

He forced the thought from his mind
.
He had learned with practice to shut from his mind those memories that only served to torment
.

He glanced at his companion and closed his eyes again
.
He leaned back on the bench, thereby avoiding the urge to sketch out the best route back to London on Minerva’s chest
.
He wasn’t sure whether that would earn him a slap or, even worse, a kiss.

Yes, he would just keep his eyes closed for the few more minutes it would take for her to begin to think of her complexion and demand to be taken back
.

If
,
in the meantime
,
he let his mind wander to the fantasy of a young officer and the vicar’s daughter, what was the harm in that
?
He knew the truth of what, of who
m
, Lady Burberry was,
therefore, a little daydream about a reality that didn’t exist could do no harm.

“Oh dear, I do declare the sun is very strong
.
We’d better make for shore.”

Ah, just as predicted
.
He opened his eyes.

“Of course, my lady, I’ll start back.”

“No.”

His brows tensed.

Lady Clarington leaned forward, showing him mysteries about which he had never wondered.

“I am not sure I can make it all the way back
.
I think you’d better take us ashore there
.
She pointed to a small clearing under the arms of a wide willow
.
That looks much more restful
.
If we go back I’ll never get the quiet that I need to recover.
”
She batted her eyelashes at him.