Pride and Fire (28 page)

She swallowed hard. “When?”

“This morning,” he said shortly.

She blinked up at him, wanting to beg him to stay, to try to work through the difficulties between them. But after his abominable treatment of her a scant hour earlier, she knew it was hopeless. He would never forgive her for any of it.

She lowered her eyes to the smooth surface of the dining table. “As you wish,” she said, sipping delicately at her tea.

Shortly after breakfast, she accompanied him to the wide drive in front of the house. He placed a dry kiss of farewell on her cheek and climbed into Chester’s carriage. Michelle bade farewell to Lords Chester and Roberts and watched as the carriage drove on to Cheshire.

Chapter 26

Michelle stepped back into the house to find her mother pacing in the entryway.

“Why has Paul taken himself off to Cheshire, Michelle?” Lady Helen asked. “When can we expect him back?”

Michelle raised a hand to her head and sighed. “I don’t know, Mother.”

“The guests are about to take their leave,” her mother said. “What do I tell them?

Michelle thought for a moment. She couldn’t bid farewell to Paul’s family, not now. Tears burned her eyes and what little she ate for breakfast sat like a lump in her stomach. “Pray make my apologies, Mother.”

Michelle took herself up to the Rose Room. The beautiful bed mocked her. It was the scene of Paul’s ill treatment of her. And her wanton response to the man she still loved. She slumped into one of the wing chairs that flanked the fireplace, wincing as her back touched the cushion. No doubt Reggie had bruised her when he’d shoved her against the bookshelves last night.

A knock soon came at the door and she sighed. “Surely I was a fool to think I could avoid Mother for a moment,” she murmured. “Come in,” she called.

Becca pushed open the door and stepped into the room, a smile of greeting on her face. “Here you are, Michelle. Are you hiding, perchance?”

Michelle smiled wanly at her friend and nodded. “That obvious, is it?”

Becca closed the door and crossed to where Michelle sat. “Are you feeling all right?”

Michelle shrugged in answer.

Becca looked down at her lap and adjusted the pleats of her skirt. “I know Leed left with Chester and Roberts.”

She thought of Paul’s coldness on the drive, of the carriage taking him away, and swallowed. “Yes. Apparently he can no longer stand the sight of me.”

Becca blinked in surprise. “That’s surely not true. He can’t blame you for your cousin’s actions.”

Michelle shook her head. “No,” she answered. “His leaving has nothing to do with what happened in the library. At least not with what Reggie tried to do last night.”

Becca said nothing for a long while, then smiled brightly. “Well, what do you have planned for today?”

Again, Michelle shrugged.

“Do you feel up to a carriage ride?”

Michelle arched a brow in question. Becca laughed, a sweet sound that lifted the corners of Michelle’s mouth in answer.

“Why don’t you join Geoffrey and me at Kanewood?” Becca asked.

Michelle’s spirits brightened. She couldn’t go back to London, not without Paul. And the thought of staying here with her mother was excruciating. Yes. A visit to Kanewood would do very nicely.

“Thank you, Rebecca. That would be lovely.”

* * * *

Paul brooded in the carriage on the short ride into Cheshire, thinking again of how Michelle had looked in the breakfast room. He’d wanted to take her in his arms, to apologize for the way he’d treated her in their chamber. He’d wanted to tell her he needed to get away before his anger got the best of him and he truly hurt her.

In the end, he’d told her nothing.

Roberts and Chester exchanged a worried look. Chester cleared his throat. “Leed, what’s wrong with you?”

Paul looked at his friend. “Hmm?”

Chester barked out a laugh. “Don’t take this the wrong way, friend, but do you mind telling me why you decided to join Roberts and me?”

“I needed to get away.”

Roberts straightened in his seat. “Surely this has nothing to do with that dandy, does it? That scoundrel is long gone from Thomasham by now.”

Paul’s gut clenched as he pictured Reggie’s hands on Michelle. “No. If he was still there, I’d have killed him for sure.”

Roberts grinned. “Then I’m glad Chester and I um…persuaded Reggie to quit Thomasham.”

Though he appreciated Roberts’s wit, Paul couldn’t return his smile.

* * * *

On the long carriage ride to Kanewood, Michelle let Geoffrey’s and Becca’s easy banter wash over her. They discussed nothing in particular and everything in general. Michelle saw the tenderness in Geoffrey’s eyes as he looked at his wife, and felt a tearing in her heart. Surely Paul would never look at her that way again.

It was getting close to lunchtime, a fact of which Michelle was reminded when her stomach growled rather loudly.

Becca caught her eye and smiled. “I believe we’ll stop for luncheon soon. You’ll enjoy the food, I daresay. The lamb is magnificent here, isn’t it, husband?”

“Yes, Becca,” Geoffrey agreed. “And the bread is always fresh.”

Becca nodded. “Now, nothing compares with the meals at Raven’s. Though I admit I am biased. Have you ever been there, Michelle?”

Michelle knew that Raven’s, an elegant inn near Bedford, was where Becca had lived with her stepfather before she met Geoffrey.

“No, I’ve never been,” Michelle said.

“Perhaps you and Leed will stop there on your return to Town,” Geoffrey said.

Michelle winced at the mention of Paul’s name, a reaction Becca didn’t miss.

Becca patted Michelle’s hand. “Yes, Raven’s serves the heartiest meals. Just the thing after a long trip. The roast beef, even the venison, is done to perfection.”

Suddenly the carriage’s rocking motion had a disturbing effect on Michelle’s stomach. She felt hot and cold as her heart began to race. She placed her hand over her mouth, her eyes wide.

“Oh my,” Becca said. “Geoffrey, tell the driver to stop.”

The carriage rocked to a stop and Michelle flew out the door. She managed to reach a spot behind some shrubbery before she lost her meager breakfast. She walked slowly back to where Becca stood waiting.

“The color has returned to your cheeks, thank God,” Becca said. “Are you all right?”

Michelle nodded, embarrassed. “Yes. It’s the strangest thing. I’ve never gotten sick on a carriage ride before.”

“Perhaps last evening…” Becca began, shaking her head.

“I suppose what happened in the library could be affecting me now,” Michelle said. More likely the horrid exchange with Paul this morning, she thought.

“Are you all right, Lady Michelle?” Geoffrey asked.

“I’ll be fine, Lord Kanewood,” Michelle answered. She took her seat. “How long until we reach this inn?”

He arched a brow at her. “You’re hungry?”

“Famished,” Michelle answered with a shy smile.

* * * *

At Chester’s estate, Chesterfield, Paul and his friends made the easy decision to go riding. As they cantered over the rolling hills, Paul felt his good humor return. They stopped to water their horses at a small brook that wound its way through the earl’s property and Paul stepped away from his mount, brushing his hands off on his buff-colored breeches.

“So what debauchery do you have planned for us this evening, Chester?” Paul asked.

“Debauchery? Leed, you cut me to the quick.”

“Come, Chester,” Roberts said from where he leaned against a tree. “You can’t expect us to sit around the manor playing whist now, can you?”

“Perhaps Chester will entertain us on the pianoforte,” Paul said.

“Never mind that nonsense,” Chester said. “Do you expect me to bring in some wenches from the neighboring town, Leed?”

Paul scratched his chin thoughtfully. “The idea has merit, Chester.”

“You jest, Leed,” Roberts laughed. “You’re an old married man.”

Paul thought back to Michelle’s treachery, and of his own ill-treatment of her that very morning. “Believe me, Roberts, I do not need to be reminded.”

“I suppose we can suffer an intolerable evening of cards and brandy, eh Chester?” Roberts asked.

“Sounds quite the thing,” Chester returned.

“And hunting on the morrow,” Paul said.

When their horses were satisfied, the gentlemen mounted and rode toward the main house.

* * * *

Lady Margaret, Geoffrey Kane’s mother, was pleased to have Michelle as a guest. She greeted her son and daughter-in-law with affection, and had the servants see to Michelle’s personal effects.

“And how is your mother, dear?” Lady Margaret asked Michelle.

“Well, thank you,” Michelle said.

“I do miss dear Helen. And how long will you be staying with us?” Lady Margaret asked.

Michelle glanced at Becca, unsure how long she’d be allowed this reprieve from her marital problems.

“I hope she can stay for quite a while, Lady Margaret,” Becca said with a smile. “I can use the company when I am in the nursery with Michael.” She turned to Michelle. “He isn’t much for conversation as yet.”

Lady Margaret laughed. “The future Earl of Kanewood isn’t past the babbling stage.”

After dining with the Kanes in the beautifully-appointed dining room, Michelle went upstairs to her guest room.

The next few days passed pleasantly for Michelle. She often joined Becca in the nursery, happy to play with Michael. He was just beginning to crawl, much to Geoffrey’s delight and Becca’s chagrin. The earl insisted it was a sign of the child’s superiority. His wife, however, thought their son demonstrated his father’s propensity for getting into mischief. Michelle smiled at the ridiculous disagreement, thinking Michael the luckiest child in the world to have parents who doted on him so.

Michelle continued to feel ill in the mornings, much to her confusion. She hadn’t slept well either, despite the wonderful accommodations at Kanewood. Oh, she was able to keep thoughts of Paul and her betrayal from her mind in the daylight hours. But she couldn’t stop her sleeping mind from worrying.

Every night without fail she dreamed of Paul, her heart breaking each morning she awoke to find herself alone in the bed. So she plunged whole-heartedly into the diversions of a relaxing visit in the country, riding with Becca, taking strolls through the magnificent gardens, practicing her dubious skills with the needle. She spent most afternoons with Becca and Lady Margaret in the quiet of the parlor, chatting easily as they worked on little nothings in their laps. Thankfully neither woman mentioned Paul, Becca due to deference to Michelle’s tender feelings and Lady Margaret due to politeness of manners.

One afternoon nearly a week after coming to Kanewood, Lady Margaret was absent from their company. And one look at the determined expression on Becca’s face told Michelle that she couldn’t avoid questions about Paul any longer. She feigned concentration on the linen square in her lap.

“I wondered about something, Michelle,” Becca said.

“Hmm?” Michelle answered absently. “Ah! I’ll never learn how to twist these flowers.”

“Having some trouble?”

Michelle sighed and set her work aside. “I suppose I should have grasped this by now.”

Becca chuckled. “You should have seen some of my earlier work. Absolutely dreadful.”

“Really?”

“I never had much time for needlework when I was at Raven’s,” Becca explained.

Michelle nodded. “And I never had much taste for it.”

Becca laughed. “Well as married women, I suppose it is our lot.”

Michelle couldn’t meet her friend’s eyes.

“Michelle, tell me if it’s none of my concern,” Becca began, “but shouldn’t you write to Leed? Surely he’ll be worried about you.”

Michelle shook her head sadly. “I don’t think so, Rebecca. I doubt I shall see him for a very long time.”

“But he’s your husband.”

“A fact that Paul is trying to put aside at this very moment, I’m certain.”

“You don’t mean that the marriage, that he would ever—?”

Michelle shook her head. “Paul is an honorable man, Rebecca. But he will put me out of his mind. Of that I have no doubt.”

“It might help you to write down your thoughts, Michelle. Put into words all you would say to him if you could.”

Michelle sighed. “Believe me, I speak to him every night in my heart.”

They returned to their work in silence.

Chapter 27

One evening, two weeks after Paul had come to Chesterfield, he sat in the cavernous drawing room in one of the leather-upholstered wing chairs beside the fire. It was October, the evening cold. He stared into the fire and sipped his brandy, barely paying attention to his friends’ conversation.

“Don’t you think a country dance is just the thing, Leed?”

“Hmm?” Paul muttered. “Did you say something, Roberts?”

Roberts arched a brow at him. “Come now, Leed. Enough brooding for one evening.”

Paul snorted. “I’m not brooding.”

“Leed, you’ve been positively Gothic for nearly a fortnight,” Chester said. “Is there nothing we can do for you, miserable though you seem determined to remain?”

Paul stretched with a lusty groan and stood. “I believe I shall go upstairs. I shall take my dark, brooding self away from you pleasant fellows.”

He strode toward the doorway.

“We expect you to join us on our morning hunt,” Chester called.

“Yes,” Roberts added. “Pray, try not to frighten the horses.”

Paul smiled in spite of himself and shook his head. He climbed the stairs to the chamber Chester had set aside for him.

He entered the room and shut the door behind him. He removed his jacket and ran his hands over his face. As he sat on the edge of the bed and removed his boots, his thoughts took their usual turn. Michelle. Sharp pain pierced his gut. What was she doing now?

Sitting behind the small desk in the corner of the room, he penned a note to his wife. He’d strive to remain polite yet impersonal. He wanted to tell her of his regrets, of his loneliness. Instead he inquired after her health and advised her that he wasn’t sure when he would return to Thomasham. After a hesitation, he signed it “your loving husband.”