Private Emotions – Promises (The Private Emotions Trilogy) (18 page)

“That’s okay, I really appreciate your dedication but I know that you probably have some studying to do to and I certainly don’t want this business to affect your grades. Trust me, even if you stay here all night there will always be something else that needs your attention.” Jill finally relented and left me to finish up for the day with the promise that she would be back tomorrow afternoon after her last class. If things continued the way they were going, I would have no choice but to hire someone full time. Being the stubborn sort, I would only use that as my last resort, so for now, I would just have to roll up my sleeves and do it all myself during the day.

After closing the shop for the night, I decided that I would walk to the restaurant. Au Chanté was only a few blocks away and the weather was starting to warm up. The walk would help me to unwind so by the time I got to the restaurant I would be able to enjoy what was left of the evening. I enjoyed walking down the city streets and as I looked at the other shops I wondered what each person’s work life was like behind the glass. As I imagined the various scenarios in my head, I questioned if this life was my only chance at existing or was I part of something bigger that I could not begin to comprehend. “Hmm.”

I saw a street vendor and he was peddling his wares for the masses so I decided that I would do a little browsing. I didn’t really think that there would be anything of interest to buy but I was curious.

It was all handmade quality merchandise and the prices were very reasonable. There were all sorts of interesting items: earrings, rings, necklaces, figurines and other knickknacks. His stuff reminded me of the care that I put into my own work and I felt compelled to buy something from him.

There was something about one of his items that seemed to go perfectly with the gift I already had in my closet for Ethan. It was as if it was specifically made to complement my hidden gift and I just had to have it.

The guy selling the stuff started out being dead-set on the price but as with most things, a little haggling was needed and I was able to negotiate a much better deal. He put the item into a shopping bag and I placed it in my purse. Now all I had to do was to figure out when I was going to give it to Ethan. The moment had to be special and I was sure that I would know it when the time came.

Ethan would be waiting for me at the restaurant and I hoped that everything with him was going according to plan. Unfortunately, I didn’t really have the time to change into something fancy for dinner so I would just have to be content with what I was wearing. That morning I had decided to wear a crimson blouse with a tailored black skirt. The skirt had a slit along the side that discreetly exposed my inner thigh depending on the direction that I turned.

When I got to the restaurant, the maître d’ took my jacket, placed it with the coat-check girl and guided me to a romantically lit table in the corner of the room. Ethan was sipping some wine but immediately got up and pulled my chair. He seemed a bit tense for some reason. Goodness, I was starting to get concerned that maybe things were not going as smoothly for him as they were for me. He had taken on a monumental task of a double launch. I hoped that none of the people he depended on for his success had disappointed him last minute.

“Well, this is a very gentlemanly thing to do and I could certainly get used to this kind of treatment.” He pushed my chair in and then leaned over and kissed the back of my neck which made a chill run down my spine and cascade throughout my body. “I will never get used to the way you can do that. You make me feel like your hands are all over my body when it’s only your lips touching the back of my neck.” I giggled at the lovely feeling that had washed over me. “Have you ordered yet?”

“No, while I was waiting for you I got us some wine to start off.” He poured me some wine as we had a look at the menus. After a couple of minutes the waiter came to our table and we placed our order. I was not feeling very hungry so I decided to eat light tonight. We ordered our mains and agreed to share the appetizer. He had ordered some oysters on the half shell for an appetizer but I wasn’t sure if I would like it as I never had them before.

They came to the table and Ethan said, “They are said to be an aphrodisiac. You just have to tip it over your mouth and let it slide in before swallowing.” I watched him do it and then picked one up without looking at it. It slid over my tongue and tasted…not bad but not good either. When I swallowed it I must have made a face because Ethan was hiding his mouth from me. I could see from his body language that he was laughing. I never could hide my feelings very well because my face betrayed me every time.

“Hey, it’s my first time…so give me a break.” I playfully slapped his hand on the table and he immediately snatched it up and gave it a soft kiss. I felt a little jolt of electricity shoot straight into the pit of my stomach. Damn, this man had me wanting him more than chocolate. If I was the type of woman that could jump a man then I would have done that right in the restaurant.

“This is so romantic, Ethan. I really enjoy being with you.” A slight smile formed at the corner of his mouth and his eyes told me that he felt the same. We ate our meal and shared bits of it with each other. His fork went across the table to let me taste the dill salmon he had ordered and I did the same and reached across to slide a piece of garlic shrimp into his mouth.

I decided to try something other than chocolate for desert and opted for a lighter choice. Strawberries and whipped cream was the order of the day and although it would never replace my beloved chocolate treat it was a refreshing change. The liquor was flowing and I noticed that Ethan was fidgety and drinking a little heavier than normal. What was he up to this time? Was he gearing up to do something and needed the extra courage? He wiped his mouth, looked around and then took a deep breath before he spoke.

“Emily, I never want to live my life without you. I will never do anything to make you feel unwanted or unloved and hopefully I will be the reason that you smile.” He was acting all nervous again and I began to see the writing on the wall as he ushered over a violin player.
He kept his gaze on me as he got down on one knee. “Meeting you has been the most amazing thing that has happened in my life. You were a pleasant surprise in a sea of predictability. Because of you I have learned more about myself than I thought was possible.”

I was a captive audience and my heart had almost stopped with the implications of where this was going. It was almost as if time had stood still and we were the only two people in the world at that moment. His hand was shaking as he pulled out a black velvet box and opened it up to reveal a solitaire diamond. It sparkled in the light from the chandelier overhead and I could not take my eyes off of it. It was the most exquisite thing I had ever seen and any woman would be thrilled to wear something like that on her hand. It had me so completely enamored that I couldn’t even find the words to describe how I was feeling.

“Emily, I want you to know that I love you and I am committed to spending the rest of my life with you. This may not be what you were expecting tonight but I just couldn’t wait any longer. Emily, I am asking you to marry me and take this life journey with me.”

I wanted and loved this man with all of my heart, every last piece it. I looked at the ring and then into his expecting eyes and realized that only one answer made any sense. “I love you, Ethan, with all of my heart but I am sorry, I cannot accept your proposal.” His smile in anticipation of my answer became a frown of disappointment within a matter of seconds. When the violinist realized that the evening wasn’t going according to plan he slipped away to another table to give us the privacy that we needed.

“I…I don’t understand…I love you and I thought you loved me too…so I don’t understand.” He was trying desperately to think of a reason that would explain my refusal to marry him.

“Yes, Ethan, I do love you but please, let me explain why I cannot accept your proposal.” He moved like all the wind was blown out of him and took a big breath before sitting back down across from me. He couldn’t even look me in the eye and I couldn’t say I blamed him.

He whispered to me with a sunken heart, “Please, I need to know why you won’t marry me.”

“Ethan, you are the only man that I ever want to be with. You have changed my life more than anyone I know but I have two reasons why I can’t accept your ring at this time. My first concern has to do with my own sexual inexperience. Although I am more liberal now than I was when we first met, you are the one who has taught me everything that I know. I am not sure if I can be sexually adventurous enough for your appetite. There are things that I am willing to do and other things that are not open for negotiation because it will mean compromising who I am as a woman. The other reason has to do with your profession. You are an amazing artist and for that you have my utmost respect, but I have difficulty accepting the part of your profession that help power-types get in touch with their femininity. To say ‘I do’ to someone would mean being in an exclusive relationship. Although you have said that you could not live without me, you never said that you could live ‘only’ with me. These are my reasons for not accepting your proposal.” I took a deep breath and nervously waited for his response to what I had just said.

The look of disappointment on his face changed to one of relief and then a small smile appeared on those handsome features. “Your first reason is easy to rectify. Our arrangement may be over but we still have a lot to do and a whole lifetime to do it. I can assure you that it would be just ‘us’ during our passionate moment…us in the garden, us in the elevator, back stage of a concert, upside down, sideways …soooo many places …soooo many positions ...such little time and besides, you have not seen my full scarf collection.” He had a mischievous grin on his face when he mentioned his scarfs. He leaned towards me and whispered, “I even have these books about the Kama Sutra and tantric sex that we have yet to put into practice.”

“Even if that is so, Ethan, there is really no way that I can accept the fact that you are going to be doing this with other women.”

He smiled at me, took my hand and said, “I don’t know if you are going to believe this or not but I haven’t been with anyone other than you since the first night that we made love in your apartment.” I wasn’t sure if I should believe him but I felt that he was telling me the truth. I was very surprised to hear him admit such a thing and had no idea that he had feelings for me so early in the game. He gave no indication that he was being exclusive with me.

“Well, you’re certainly saying everything that I need to hear and I feel that you are being honest with me.”

“But you’re still not entirely convinced about me leaving my old profession behind. It is okay, you have every right to feel the way you do. I should have talked to you about this before doing anything so that we were both comfortable and willing to move on to the next page of our life together. How about we put this to the side for the moment and go home to be together.” It was a very sound proposition and we hastily made our exit to get to his place.

We went to the bedroom and he lowered the lights with the dimmer which gave the room an air of romance. On the bed were red silk sheets covered with white rose petals and I suspected this would have been the culmination of his proposal. “Let me undress you and revel in your beauty.”

I took in a sharp breath as he skillfully removed my blouse and with one quick zip the skirt fell to the floor at my feet. His fingers moved over my breasts and then slowly over the center of my already wet panties. That same finger moved down to the entrance of my womanhood and then pushed forth taking my breath away. “My god.” He smiled at me and slowly began to slide his finger back and forth while my pussy clung tightly to his imbedded digit. “Ethan, what are you doing to me?”

“I’m giving you myself on a silver platter.” His hot breath was over my neck and was soon followed by his lips and tongue. It made my legs almost buckle from under me. “Let me show you the love that I feel for you, Em.” Bending to his knees, I thought that he was going to present the ring again but instead his tongue made its appearance and then he slid it inside me.

“Oh yes, more, oh god, more.” Looking up from between my legs, he pulled his tongue free and licked his lips at me making me know that he was right where he wanted to be. He returned his oral digit into my folds and I had to grab onto his shoulder to keep myself upright. His thumb played along my clit in circles until my whole body was set on fire and I couldn’t hold back the flood that was coming.