Privilege 1 - Privilege (16 page)

Hudson nodded.

"Anyway, knowing he had read that stuff just sort of made me freeze up. I haven't been able to write a word since," she said, picking at a pull in the blanket.

"God. That sucks," Hudson said.

"You have no idea," Ariana replied.

In fact, it had been Dr. Meloni who had told one of the guards to remove her current journal from her cell a few months ago. Then he had proceeded to read the poems to her in session, laughingly, trying to get her to analyze them herself. It had been one of the most degrading and humiliating experiences of her life. She hadn't written a word since.

"So what's the dream?" Ariana asked, trying to take the focus off herself.

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"The dream?" he asked, his handsome brow knitting.

"Yes, the dream," Ariana said. "Do you want to play in an ensemble or are you going the rock star route? Or do you want to compose or play for a certain orchestra?"

Hudson blinked. It seemed as if he'd never really considered this question before. Then he grinned.

"Your dreams are very specific, aren't they?" he asked.

"Aren't everyone's?" Ariana replied, confused.

At that Hudson laughed, then leaned in to kiss her. Ariana was unsure what she had done to merit a kiss, but she didn't ask. Instead she let herself enjoy the moment. Every single touch sent a tingling sensation of giddiness through her core. How had she forgotten how incredible kissing could be? For so long the very idea of love had been so tied up with the idea of hatred and death.... She hadn't even considered the possibility of getting close to anyone.

But being close to Hudson felt so right. He didn't expect anything from her. Hadn't promised her anything. So there was no way for either one of them to be disappointed. No way this could turn for the worse. So Ariana simply focused on the now, on the kiss, and nothing else.

"So what's your dream then?" he asked when he pulled away. He touched her cheek with his fingertips, roughened from playing his various instruments.

Ariana sighed as she lay back down on the blanket and gazed up at the stars. She couldn't tell him the Australia plan, but she could tell him the original dream. The dream she'd had all her life. It would be

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nice to talk about it one last time. At that very moment a white streak cut across the sky, and she had to bite her lip to keep from pointing out the falling star like an excited little girl.

"First Princeton, where I'll major in English literature," Ariana recited, seeing it all play out in her mind as she had imagined it so many times. "Then a job at Vanity Fair in New York and a loft apartment in Chelsea on a quaint, tree-lined street. There, I will of course meet the perfect guy--"

"Wait a second, you haven't done that already?" Hudson protested, placing his hands to his chest in faux offense.

Ariana laughed. "Excuse me. I was talking," she scolded jokingly.

"Pardon me. Continue," Hudson replied, grinning from ear to ear.

The lightness in Ariana's chest was almost distracting in its perfection. She could get used to this feeling. This utter simplicity.

"Of course we'll get married, have two kids, and once I've established myself as a writer, I'll go freelance and we'll move the family back to the homestead in Georgia where--"

"Georgia?" Hudson interjected, his brow knitting. "I thought you were from Chicago."

Ariana's breath turned cold in her lungs. She hadn't just said that. She had not just said that. And, wait a second, had she started to slip into her twang? Dammit. She wasn't sure. What if he had seen her story on the news? Between her mention of Easton and now Georgia, he might definitely put two and two together and figure out who she really was. But a quick glance at Hudson told her he wasn't overly confused or alarmed. Just curious. 161

"I am from Chicago," she replied evenly, her gaze back on the night sky, her Northern accent perfectly intact once again. "But I have family in Georgia. My grandmother. I've always loved the plantation she lives on, so I'm hoping I'll get to move there one day."

"That's cool," Hudson said, lying on his back as well. "I've always wanted to go to Georgia and experience the whole Southern charm thing for myself. I hear Dallas doesn't quite do it justice."

"Definitely not," Ariana said, relaxing slightly. "Georgia hospitality is in another class."

"Well, maybe you'll take me to meet your grandmother sometime," Hudson said.

Her gran's gravesite flashed through her mind. Ariana would never get to visit that spot again.

"Maybe I will," she lied.

Hudson turned the conversation toward his class at UT and his plans for the rest of the summer, but Ariana barely heard a word for a good five minutes. She was too busy berating herself for her slip and concentrating on how to keep it from happening again. The last thing she could risk was Hudson finding out who she really was. She hated to think of what she might have to do to him if he did.

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CARNIVAL NIGHTMARE

"Trust me. Y need this," Briana Leigh told Ariana as she pulled her gold Cadillac convertible into a parking space at the Plaza of the Americas

ou in downtown Dallas Tuesday afternoon. Her engagement ring flashed in the sunlight as she turned off the satellite radio, finally silencing the gratingly loud country-western station she'd been blaring throughout the drive. "Y luggage is obviously gone for good, and you can't keep wearing my old

our clothes."

No, I really can't, Ariana thought, looking down at the bright, tiered skirt she was currently sporting. What fascinated her was that all these awful clothes were by top designers. It was as if Briana Leigh hunted the boutiques each season for the worst pieces from each collection and filled her closets with them.

"Y ou're right," Ariana said. "I definitely need some new things." Her phone beeped and Ariana pulled it out of her small, borrowed purse. There was a picture message from Hudson in her in-box.

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Speaking of new things... , Ariana thought wryly, as if Hudson was her new accessory. She opened the picture and smiled. Purple wildflowers filled the screen. The caption read, Saw this and thought of you.

Ariana's heart fluttered happily. Another point for Hudson. He was a true romantic. He'd gone back to Austin Sunday night, and Ariana actually missed him. As Briana Leigh hit the button to raise the ragtop roof, Ariana popped open the glove compartment. She took off her sunglasses and wedged them into the tiny space between the car manual and a box of Altoids, along with her cell. When Briana Leigh wasn't looking, she added her wallet to the mix, then slammed and locked the door.

"Paranoid much? This is, like, the safest street in Dallas," Briana Leigh said, gesturing out the window at the huge Le Meridien hotel across the street.

Ariana's cheeks turned pink. It was an old habit, removing the things she wouldn't need and locking them up in the car. Something her father had always done. And yes, he was paranoid, but for good reason. Everyone in their Atlanta suburb knew that the Osgood family, perched on their old family plantation on the outskirts of their sleepy Southern town, had more money than the rest of the households in the village combined. Her father had been mugged more than once and he had quickly learned his lesson. His theory was that if it wasn't on you, they couldn't steal it, and Ariana had adopted his lock-it-up ritual.

"Old habit," she said with a shrug.

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"Whatever." Briana Leigh rolled her eyes. "Let's go."

Twenty minutes later Ariana found herself standing in a dressing room in a small, chic boutique, loaded down with the most hideous collection of garments she had ever seen--all florals and plaids and stripes in bright, offensive colors. It wasn't as if the store didn't carry some tasteful things. There were several, actually. But every time Ariana tried to sneak in a simple jacket or a straight skirt or a white top, Briana Leigh caught her and tossed the garment aside.

"Which one are you trying on?" Briana Leigh asked from outside the dressing room door.

"A Calvin Klein," Ariana replied, sliding her arms into the three-quarter sleeves of a gray shirtdress.

"What Calvin Klein? I didn't pick out any Calvin Klein."

Ariana gritted her teeth. "So have you and Teo set a date yet?" she asked, hoping to divert her. Briana Leigh had talked of nothing but her engagement for the past two days.

"Not yet," Briana Leigh replied. "I still can't even believe we're engaged. I'm going to have kids right away."

Ariana blinked. Briana Leigh was only sixteen. How could she be thinking about having children. "Really?"

"I always wanted a big family," Briana Leigh said, her tone wistful. "I never had any brothers or sisters... not really, anyway."

Ariana's heart skipped a beat. Was Briana Leigh thinking about Kaitlynn?

"And with my parents gone... I just want to start over," Briana Leigh finished.

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Slowly, Ariana buttoned up the dress. It was the first time that Briana Leigh had sounded genuine. Hopeful. Not at all bitchy. It was as if she had just let her guard down, right there in broad daylight and without the help of alcohol. The girl actually had dreams.

There was a long moment of silence and then Briana Leigh suddenly rapped on the door. "I'm getting wrinkles out here! Let's see!"

And then the bitch was back. Ariana tied the ribbon belt on the dress and opened the door. Briana Leigh's face screwed up in disgust.

"What are you going for? Lame librarian?"

Ariana turned to look at herself. She liked the dress. It showed off her slim waist and toned calves and made her new hair color pop. Plus, it was totally her style. Understated. Refined. Definitely not lame librarian. But still, she couldn't contradict Briana Leigh. Ariana had searched the house twice since finding Briana Leigh's secondary checking account but had found nothing. She needed to keep staying at the mansion, meaning she needed to stay on Briana Leigh's good side, even if it meant being the second-worst-dressed person below the Mason-Dixon Line.

"You're right," she said, tugging at the ribbon belt. "I don't know what I was thinking."

Briana Leigh made a snorting noise of agreement. "Here. Take that off and put this on."

She shoved a pink-and-yellow Betsey Johnson frock at Ariana and slammed the dressing room door shut. Ariana sat down on the bench in her cubicle and looked into her eyes in the mirror.

"It's just temporary," she whispered. "When this is all over, you can

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come back here and buy anything you want. Better yet, you can go to Milan and buy anything you want."

Comforted by the thought of herself and Kaitlynn strolling past Milan's gleaming flagship stores loaded down with glossy designer bags, Ariana was buoyed enough to continue with her freak fashion show. As she slid the Betsey Johnson over her head, she mapped out her next search in her mind. She'd already ransacked the basement and Briana Leigh's parents' old bedroom, so tonight she was going to try the computer in Mr. Covington's office again. There had to be another bank, some other account she hadn't seen. Kaitlynn had said Briana Leigh had gotten everything when her dad died. There just had to be something Ariana was missing.

Ariana zipped up the dress and looked at her reflection. The frock was one-shouldered, tightly ruched, and way too short. Grimacing, she turned and opened the door of the dressing room. Briana Leigh's eyes widened in delight.

"What do you think?" Ariana asked, afraid of the answer.

"Now that is a dress!" Briana Leigh cried. "Y should totally wear that out of here," Briana Leigh decided, standing next to Ariana to view the

ou reflection in the mirror. "Actually, I think I'll change back into the--"

"Shut up. You're wearing it." Briana Leigh ripped the tag off the dress to bring it up to the counter. "Get the rest of that stuff and let's go pay."

Biting down hard on her tongue, Ariana pushed her toes into her borrowed red sandals and gathered up the other garments Briana Leigh

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had chosen for her. As she placed them down on the counter, the older woman behind the cash register raised her glasses to her eyes.

"You've chosen some lovely things," she said to Ariana with a smile.

Right. If you want to walk around looking like a carnival nightmare, Ariana thought.

"I know," Briana Leigh replied haughtily.

Ariana smiled her thanks and reached for her purse. There was nothing inside but a lip balm and some other cosmetics.

"Oh my God. I'm such an idiot," she said, pretending to root through her bag.

"What?" Briana Leigh asked as the saleswoman paused in her ringing up.

"I must have locked my wallet in with the other things," Ariana said. "I thought this bag felt light."

Briana Leigh stared at Ariana, her eyes blank and hard. For a moment, Ariana felt the slightest twinge of fear.

"What kind of moron goes shopping without her wallet?" Briana Leigh asked, leaning her hand on the counter.

Ariana swallowed hard. This was not good. The girl was going to drag her back to the car to get her wallet. Ariana was going to have to use that credit card she'd swiped and just hope the old woman had yet to realize it was missing. Hope that she had enough credit to pay for hundreds of dollars' worth of hideous clothing.

"I'm sorry," Ariana said, glancing in embarrassment at the sales clerk. "I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I'll go change back."

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She started to turn, but Briana Leigh's hand gripped her forearm. "Stop. You're not going anywhere."

Her back to Briana Leigh, Ariana closed her eyes and said a quick prayer. That the girl hadn't figured out that Ariana was freeloading. That she wasn't about to snap. That she wasn't going to kill Ariana too, the first chance she got. When Ariana turned around again, Briana Leigh was reaching into her own purse and pulling out her wallet.

"I've got this."

She slapped her American Express Black down on the counter and pushed it over with her fingertips.

Ariana flooded with relief. "Briana Leigh, you don't have to do that."