Priya in Heels (Entangled Embrace) (22 page)

Shoving aside my dilemma, I enjoyed the music, the company, and the banter. Vicki dropped off Tulsi and Jeeta.

“Take some of the food,” I insisted. “It’s way too much.”

“I’ll take some. I’ve been homesick for some of these dishes,” Jeeta said as she picked through a bag.

“Take the whole bag.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!”

“Thanks. Talk to you soon.”

“Bye, guys.”

I didn’t text Ty when we were fifteen minutes away or even when we arrived. It took two trips for us to get our belongings and all the food into the apartment. We piled things away in the fridge and freezer, now packed to the limit. We wouldn’t have to cook for weeks.

After changing into pajamas, I tossed my clothes into the laundry and unpacked everything else.

“Tyler might want some of this food.” Vicki planted her hands on her hips and stared at the last bag on the counter. “Won’t fit.”

“I’ll take it over. Give me the rice and
shaak
, too.”

Vicki added a second bag and handed them to me. “Want to talk?”

“No, but thanks.” I left.

With bags in hand, I walked down the hall and knocked on Ty’s door.

He gave a lazy smile when he saw me. “Babe, come in.”

He took the bags as I closed the door. “It’s leftovers from yesterday.”

“Thanks. I brought some flowers for you.” He put the food away in the fridge, passing by a giant bouquet of red and white roses, then approached me.

He brushed back my hair and cupped my cheek, running his thumb across my jaw. “How are you holding up?”

As soon as one tear fell, the others unleashed their fury. Ty drew me into him. “Don’t cry, babe. Come here. All I want is to make you happy, help you get through this.”

I rested my forehead on his chest. “Ty…” I had to tell him.

“Babe, let me love you. Just tell me what to do.”

He kissed me and I kissed back harder. “Make me forget, Ty.”

He narrowed his brows. “Are you sure?”

“So few things make me forget. Please.”

When he opened his mouth, perhaps to question my judgment on how to grieve, I raised myself to my tiptoes and sucked his lower lip. He lifted me onto his hips and carried me into his bedroom.

The sheets were cool beneath me, and Ty was hot above me. My mind wandered free, and my body ached with need as he made me forget this past week, but the pain lingered, exposed itself as aggression.

I raked my nails down his back, beneath his shirt. He hissed. I shoved him off and stripped off my clothes while he took off his.

I landed on top of him.

“Babe, slow down.”

My lips were on his. This was the last time I’d make love to Ty. It pissed me off. Anger, pain, everything bubbled up. I closed my eyes tight, thankful the room was dark so he couldn’t see the pain and fear and regret on my face. So that he would not know the extent of my weakness coiled with rage.

With knowing his body so well, my hands and lips maneuvered without sight. I needed this, the control. I didn’t have any type of authority over death and the past, but I had command of this one situation, of this night in Ty’s bed. Without it, I might as well as slip away into the chaos known as my life.

Aside from panting and groans, we remained quiet. Ty didn’t protest or speak. Maybe because he loved me, was desperate to keep me, or simply empathized. Whatever the case, any one and perhaps all of those reasons, he never uttered a word. He may have hissed when I bit too hard. At one point, the metallic taste of blood reminded me to calm down. He may have winced in the darkness when I rode him too hard. Contrary to popular belief, there was such a thing as too rough. But he never said anything, never stopped me.

Anger and fear fueled this last time with Ty, but the climax was the best part. Not for obvious reasons, but because it was a near blackout. The surge and drain of adrenaline and endorphins nearly put me into a coma.

Yes, a coma sounded nice.

Chapter Thirty-Two

Tyler

I hoped the worst of the storm had passed. A few weeks had drifted by since the funeral, and Pree spent every night tucked beside me in bed. Except every morning she woke up crying, convulsing from nightmares about her mom. I hurt with her and scrambled to find something, anything, I could to do to make her feel even the slightest bit like her old self.

I was worried sick about how she overworked herself. The dark pigment under her eyes was darker, more pronounced. Pree looked as if she had just climbed out of hell and was about to fall back in.

“Babe, talk to me,” I urged.

She avoided eye contact, but I gently grasped her chin and forced her to look at me.

“I know it’s difficult, but you’re scaring me. You have nightmares all the time, you’ve stopped talking to me, you hardly eat. All you do is work and run.”

“Let’s go for a walk.”

“Good idea. I have something I want to show you.” I hoped my gift would help lift her spirits a little. But Pree had something to say, and she was way too calm for it to be anything good.

My worry intensified as we walked to the riverside. Late evening came and the crowds of joggers and park jockeys headed home. Dark clouds rolled overhead as the wind picked up and it started to sprinkle.

We paused on the river walk. I kept my eyes low, hands in my jacket pockets and head down.

“What’s wrong? Please talk to me,” I said in a soft voice. I sort of knew what was coming, had known it since the hospital, since the funeral.

Pree sniffled as the drizzle increased. She shivered as the rain dampened her hair and clothes.

“Where’s your jacket?”

“I don’t need one.”

“You’re going to get even more sick.”

“I don’t care.”

“For God’s sake, Pree.” I shrugged out of my jacket and draped it over her shoulders. I kept my hands there and wouldn’t let her pull away. “I’m not moving or letting you go until you tell me the truth. Is this about your mother?”

She swallowed before going on. “Do you want to know what happened that day in the hospital room?”

“Yes. I want to know how to help you.”

“After I told her about you, she stopped talking to me. She disowned me. She spiraled into depression and stopped taking her medicine. She hardly ate, didn’t want to go anywhere, do anything. Headaches started and you know…”

I rubbed her shoulders.

“I did that to her. Then I wasn’t there for her because she hated me,” she choked out.

“Babe.”

“Let me finish.”

I nodded.

“She asked for two promises. How could I argue with her? How could I lie? I’ve never lied to her.”

“What promises?” I tensed.

“To take care of Papa and to…marry Manuk.”

“Pree, you said yes in the moment. I understand you couldn’t have lied or argued. You did the right thing. Is that what’s got you so upset?”

“I failed her. I made her sick and wasn’t there for her. I made a promise, and I never break promises to her. Keeping those promises are the only way to honor her and to be with Papa again.”

“What are you saying?” My voice dropped, along with my heart.

“I made a mistake. I should have picked Manuk.”

“What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m going to marry Manuk. We need to break up.”

I half chuckled out of disbelief. “You’re not serious.”

She shrugged me off. I didn’t try to touch her again. “I thought I couldn’t be happy without you, but I can’t live like this, either.”

“Just give this more time. You don’t want to do this. You won’t be able to live with yourself if you marry him. You’re depressed and feel guilty. Give it some time. Don’t rush into anything. Hell, I’ll give you space if you need it. We can take a break, but don’t rush into things with him.”

“You don’t understand. I’ll get over you.” She pushed past me to walk away.

I grabbed Pree’s elbow and pulled her back. “Don’t. How can you marry him when you love me?”

“I don’t love you,” she said. A stake through my chest.

I dipped my face low to stare into her eyes. In a hoarse voice, I said, “Don’t lie to me.”

“I loved the idea of you, Ty. But those things don’t last. You said it yourself, you don’t believe in marriage so we have no future anyway. This is all a lie. We would’ve never worked out. We’re from different worlds. I mean, you didn’t even fit into Vicki and Raj’s engagement party, and you knew half the people there. We have a life at the apartment and at clubs, but where else?”

“Stop being an immature child controlled by the crap you choose so desperately to believe is right. You’re effing everything up. Your mom’s gone.”

“I know that,” she growled.

“She isn’t coming back.”

“Stop talking about her.”

“She doesn’t need you anymore.”

Tears slid down Pree’s beautiful face.

“I’m sorry that’s she’s gone. I’m so, so sorry, Pree. But
I’m
here.
I
need you. I’m not letting you walk out of my life or make the mistake of marrying someone because you think it’ll fix things.”

“I didn’t ask you to need me.”

“So what am I? Screwed?” I snapped.

“I guess so.”

Fury slashed my gut and filled me to the brim with a rage I could not control. I closed my eyes and paused before reopening them. I was bound to say something I would truly regret. “Aren’t you going to ask me what I wanted to show you?”

“What?” she asked, thrown off guard.

I gave her an envelope.

She took it but said, “I don’t want anything from you.”

“Look at it.”

She opened the paper inside and furrowed her brows. “What is this?”

I pointed up. “See that star, just above the moon?”

“Yeah,” she replied with a crack in her voice.

“I had it named. Sita. Not the avatar of the Hindu goddess, but—”

“My mom?” she finished. She sucked up her tears. “Thank you, but this doesn’t change anything.”

“Your mom will live through that star. It won’t bring her back, but you can look up and see her as a form of beauty, not pain, and remember her in a wonderful way. Look, I don’t believe in heaven and that she’s watching you. I
do
believe in memories and that having something physical will keep her real and alive in your heart. And something as powerful as a star means her influence over you will never fade in this lifetime, and that is a good thing. Respect her. Just don’t make a mistake.”

She wiped away a tear and looked away. “Please. I appreciate this, I really do, but I can’t break my promises. What if staying with you leads to losing my dad, too? Whatever
this
is, isn’t worth it.”

“Fine. Go home and think we’re over, but we’re not. We never will be. You can have this stupid notion because you’re grieving, but only for a little while.”

“I said we’re broken up. You have to deal with it. Go back to your world, and let me get back to mine.”

And just like that, the diminutive patience in me fled, replaced by incensed rage. “Oh, you want to really play the stick-to-the-culture card? How about the fact you slept with me? You can’t be with me because you have to marry an Indian your mom picked out, but it’s okay for you to sleep with me? What does that make you, Pree? According to your precious, pure, righteous culture? A whore, right? A slut?”

“Ty!” More tears streamed down her face.

“Did you tell the dentist from Dallas that you’re used? Is he going to marry you or stone you, according to a culture you don’t even agree with?”

“That’s not fair.”

“And this is? Damn it, Pree. You’re the worst kind of hypocrite.” I grabbed her arms and she trembled. “Tell me you are not doing this.”

She didn’t respond, only stared.

“You are. You…” I bit my lower lip to keep from dropping all sorts of crude words. I shoved her away. “You’re a piece of work, Pree.”

She slapped the envelope against my chest. “And you were my biggest mistake.”

I stormed off. I couldn’t be around her right now, couldn’t look at her. She’d created a tangled mess and couldn’t get her head on straight. Fine, she grieved. Okay, she blamed herself for her mother’s death. I could even handle her insisting that we take some time apart, but this? Deciding to marry the dentist?

I wanted to punch something, someone. I wished the dentist was around. I’d pummel the crap out of him.

I had never been this enraged before. My body was fired up like a furnace, emotions devoured me. Heartbreak? It felt like my heart was on fire. And that fire quickly consumed the rest of me.

Chapter Thirty-Three

Priya

“Are you happy about marrying Manuk?” Papa asked over the phone.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” I replied.

“‘Yeah’ doesn’t sound like ‘Yes, Papa!’ What are you thinking? What happened to Tyler?”

“I think it’s a good match. Mummie made a wise decision, and he’s caring. Manuk is nice. Tyler is great, but Mummie was right. Tyler is just a strong feeling that won’t last. Manuk is a person who can give me everything I need and make you guys happy. I promised Mummie. I’ll marry Manuk, and apparently he never knew that I’d chosen Tyler in the first place.”

“Will you love him?”

“After we’re married, sure.”

“What about before?”

“Love and romance is superficial and convoluting to the practicality of marriage. You believe that.”

“When you speak of marriage to Manuk, you’re serious. When you speak about our marriage, based on love, your face lights up. Tell me about what
you
want.”

“I want what Mummie wanted for me.”

“I asked you what
you
want. Let’s pretend Mummie never brought his family to meet you.”

I paused.

“You can tell me.”

I didn’t say a word.

“Tell me about Tyler O’Connor.”

I stiffened.

“Do you love him?”

“Papa.”

“Because he loves you.”

“He called you!”

“He doesn’t have to. The way he looks at you, worries about you, takes care of you. You have two intelligent, hard-working, selfless men who want to be with you. You have to make the choice.”

“I have. I want to make Mummie proud. She already blessed a marriage to Manuk.”

“I don’t have it in me to force you. I’m just too tired for that.”

“You’re not forcing me. Don’t you want me to marry Manuk? Don’t you want us to go back to how things were before?”

“Yes, but I don’t want you to hate me.”

“Papa, I could never hate you. You never told Manuk about Tyler, or that I called off the engagement?”

“No. We thought you’d come to your senses much sooner.”

“What did you tell him?”

“That you were busy with residency and maybe you’d have time to make a decision next year. He was kind enough to agree. He knows the residency life. He said you two were too busy to get to know each other better right now, anyway, plus he had to do a lot of traveling for dental conventions last month.”

“I already told Tyler that I’m getting engaged to Manuk. We don’t have to waste time.”

His voice came across hoarse. “Why are you rushing this?”

Because once I was engaged, I wouldn’t have the choice to try to back out. “Why wait?”

“You’re in pain right now. Let it pass. Manuk will want you to wait.”

“I don’t care what he wants. There’s no reason to wait. We’ll get married after residency, just like Mummie suggested, so why wait to get engaged? It spaces out the ceremonies, gives us more time to save up and pay for everything. Maybe we’ll get married before. Vicki and Raj will get married soon, and I can’t live here alone.”

“That’s a good point. You can finish your residency in Dallas or Austin.”

“Anyway, I’m texting him now.”

“
Beti
.”

I thought he would reprimand me.

“It’s not your place to call him and make these arrangements. I must be the one to tell his parents, who will then tell him.”

“Okay. Tell them today.”

“Okay. You’ve made the right decision, the smart one. I’m happy.”

“I’m glad you’re happy.”

“Are you happy?”

“I’m sad over Mummie still. I can’t be happy about anything right now, but I will be. This will be a good match.” The words burned a hole through my chest even as I spoke them.

Twenty minutes after we hung up, Manuk called.

“Hey,” I said, trying to sound joyous and lovey-dovey. It was weird to have to make an effort.

“So I heard some amazing news today.”

“Does it have anything to do with me?”

He laughed. “Priya! You’ve made me so happy! It’s cliché, but I’m going to say it anyway: you’ve made me the happiest man on the planet.”

Manuk will make a good husband.

“Aside from my joy, I have to ask. Are you sure? Does this have anything to do with your mom’s passing?”

“Yes and yes. She really wanted you for me. She’d be planning the ceremony right now. There’s no reason to hold off.”

In a serious tone, he asked, “Can I do something for you? Bring you anything? Take you anywhere?”

“No, but you’re sweet for asking. I know I sort of snapped at you after the funeral.”

“I get it. I encroached on your space and learned you need to grieve alone.”

I dragged in a deep breath. Maybe he heard me because he asked, “Priya? Is there something else?”

“Yes.” I had to be honest. He deserved it no matter the consequences. “Before you agree to marry me, you have to know something.”

“Are you a killer?” he whispered.

“No! What?”

He laughed. “I had to make sure. I can deal with anything else.”

“I’m not a virgin.”

“Neither am I, but you know that.”

“Did you ever get someone pregnant or get an STD?”

“No, and I can fax over lab results if you want.”

“Good. I got off track. Um, this isn’t easy to say.”

“Priya, you can tell me anything. You can trust me, right? You want to marry me, so you should be able to trust that I’ll stand by you, no matter what. Don’t be afraid, embarrassed, shy, any of that.”

I waited. “Don’t you know want to know who he is?”

“No. Can’t say that doesn’t sting, but I’m not a hypocrite. I can’t expect my fiancée to be a virgin when I’m not. I don’t want to know who he is because I don’t want to see him around and hate him. It’s in the past.”

The very recent past, but he didn’t have to know that.

He sighed. “That’s not too bad, Priya, one guy. You’re mine now.”

“Yes. No other man for me.”

He chuckled. “You can talk to me about anything, okay?”

“Thanks for not running away.”

“I’d only run away if you were a killer. So tell me about work. Maybe I can offer some tips.”

Day after day, I forced myself to talk to Manuk. Day by day, our conversations became easier, more fluid, and I relaxed. Had Tyler O’Connor never crept into my life, I could have fallen for Manuk by now. With Ty out of the picture, I could learn to love Manuk. Except Ty didn’t stay out of the picture.

Every day, I came home from work purposely late to avoid both Ty and Vicki, but Ty made sure I didn’t forget him.

The day I agreed to marry Manuk, I found a carnation and a note on my bed. The note said:

I’m sorry for how I reacted, but don’t make this mistake. You need space, I get that. We’re not done. We love each other and love doesn’t just fade. You can’t make yourself forget me or us. The dentist won’t bring her back, and he won’t make you happy. Take your time, just don’t marry him. I’ll do anything for you, you know that.

Until then, I’ll give you space and a little gift until you return to me: a note. A thousand and one reasons why I love you. One reason a day until you’re in my arms, and one reason a day after that. Starting today.
Reason: I love that you love and honor your parents.

I shuddered and lifted a hand to my mouth, keeping my tears at bay. He wasn’t going to make this easy.

And neither was Vicki.

Vicki fumed when she found out that I had broken it off with Ty. She glared at me, even when I smiled, made her tea, and sat down on the sofa to read. I held up the magazine. “Look! I’m reading, and it’s not work related. Aren’t you happy?”

“What are you doing?” Vicki asked.

“I told you, reading.”

“No, I mean what are you doing leaving Tyler?”

“Does he tell you everything?”

“I had to pry it out of him. He’s become distant. While you…well, you’re just enjoying yourself!”

“I made my decision. It’s done. Both Ty and Manuk know, and Papa’s making arrangements,” I replied calmly.

“For?” she seethed.

I gulped. “For the engagement.”

“You didn’t tell me or any of your friends?”

I hadn’t.

“Seems like a big announcement. You were mad at me for not mentioning Raj, but you didn’t tell me you’d decided to
get engaged
.”

“I’m sorry. It’s been a hard month. Anyway, Ty will get over it. He hasn’t spoken to me in days. This is for the best. Manuk is really nice. Now that I’ve given him a chance, we talk like old friends. He’s pretty sweet, actually. Mummie knew me. She picked the right guy.”

Vicki dropped down beside me. “Is this about your mom?
Priya
. She would’ve forgiven you. She would’ve liked Tyler when she got to know him. She liked him before, right? He saved her daughter. He spent an entire morning with your parents, and they liked him.”

It would have been easy to tell her about my promise to Mummie, but she didn’t need to know that. Vicki just needed to know I had made my decision and support me.

“Do you hate me?”

Vicki slumped. “No! I’d never hate you. But I hate this decision.”

I squeezed her. “You love me.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Vicki pulled me up. “We’ll get to this nonsense about your decision.” She put her hand up when I opened my mouth. “No arguing. I need help picking out some things for the wedding, anyway.”

“Shopping?” I groaned.

“I swear you’re the only woman in the world who hates shopping.”

“Of course I’ll go.”

“Oh, and Tyler left this for you.”

I took the little envelope and stared at it. Inside was a simple note:

Reason: I love that you’re a little nerdy
.

I crumpled up the paper. That was reason six, which meant I hadn’t seen or spoken to Ty in more than six days.

“What does it say?” Vicki asked.

“Nothing. I’ll meet you in the car.”

When Vicki left, I stormed over to Ty’s apartment and pounded on his door. He had a skeptical half smile when he swung open the door.

“You trying to assault something?” he joked.

“I don’t want these, so please stop.” I handed him all the notes.

“Then why’d you keep them?”

I clenched my jaw.

He searched my face, and when I couldn’t bear to look him in the eye, he muttered, “You’re keeping to your decision?”

“I told my dad. Manuk knows and his parents know. Everyone knows.”

“Except me,” he said. “Except the man you love.”

“We’re not doing this again.”

“All I asked was for you to take some time.”

“You don’t get to ask me for anything anymore,” I muttered and left.

I plastered on a fake smile for Vicki and exhibited the sort of wedding planning joy a best friend should have. A few hours after the exhaustive shopping adventure and battling me over Manuk, Vicki let the issue rest for the time being and suggested, “Let’s get drinks at The Harmon’s.”

The name struck hard, but it wasn’t Saturday night, which meant Ty shouldn’t be there playing with his band. “Sounds fine.”

The Harmon’s was packed during happy hour. A huge plate of nachos, sliders, and drinks between the two of us was more than enough.

I groaned. “I’ll have to work out extra hard to get this off.”

“Skinny mini.”

The music wasn’t as upbeat as normal, though it had a nice vibe. The crowd cheered when the manager turned off the local radio station and introduced the band.

The meal was blah at best. I poked my food with a fork, dragging a soggy chip until it tore. The band started a second song when I recognized the voice. I couldn’t look up. My entire body caught on fire.

I liked this song. Before, it didn’t have any personal meaning, just a catchy tune from Maroon5. Now, it captured the torment brewing in my chest.

Ty sung the hook, each word a stab in my already jagged heart
.

Those words were created from my pain, woven from my tears. If happily ever after and fairy tales existed, Ty and I would be together.

Now I knew why they called this heartbreak. My heart broke. It hardened, cracked, and shattered, sending tiny pieces of shrapnel to damage the rest of my body.

The sting in my eyes didn’t compare to the agony in my chest, to the anguish that consumed my soul like a growing, feral beast. It clawed through my ribs and clutched my heart, squeezing until I had heart palpitations. I grabbed my shirt and bent over.

Vicki grabbed my shoulder. “Priya! Are you okay?”

I shook my head and trembled, dropping the fork.

The waitress kneeled beside me. “Ma’am, are you okay?”

“I have to go.” I fumbled around, stood, and stumbled. Vicki jumped to her feet and held onto me. I leaned on my hands, but they slipped on the table.

People behind me gasped. The music stopped. A thud echoed from the stage and the next thing I knew, I’d passed out and fell for what felt like forever. I never hit anything hard, just kept falling.

My entire body throbbed with a mild numbness, the kind that came from drugs, good drugs, drugs like morphine and narcotics.

I opened my eyes, horrified of having passed out in public, and even more horrified to find myself in Ty’s lap.

My heart fluttered. I gasped and began breathing like a normal person.

“I’m fine,” I muttered as Ty and Vicki pulled me up. “I need some fresh air.”

I walked out without looking at, or thanking, Ty.

The heat hit me. Houston was so freaking hot. Not even a breeze, but I shuddered with chills.

Vicki was right behind me. “Are you okay?” she stammered.

“I don’t know what happened.”

“Are you getting sick? You don’t look good.”

“Maybe I’m just tired.”

Maybe I wasn’t over Ty.