Professor and the Nanny (Silhouette Romance) (9 page)

Oh, darn! What was the matter with her? These shorts and shirt were special favorites of hers because everyone told her how nice she looked in them. How the green brought out the matching green of her eyes.

She raised her head and looked at herself in the medicine cabinet mirror. She didn’t want to seem self-centered, but the colors did flatter her. Subconsciously, without meaning to, she’d dressed in a “come-on” fashion for Ethan. Here she’d just resolved not to flirt with him and all the time she was dressing to please him, up to and including the short shorts!

Well, there was nothing she could do about it now. She was all dressed and ready to leave. Her hair was still wet but she didn’t want to take the time to blow-dry it. Danny had cried and held out his arms to her when Ethan had taken him from her. She didn’t want to upset him any more than he already was. Her hair would dry fast enough once she got out in the hot Kentucky sun.

All the way to the Thorpe residence her mind was in turmoil. Was this a mistake? She’d already faced the fact that she was in love with Ethan, and that the rest of his family had stolen her heart. She wanted to spend her life with them. She wanted to give Ethan more children.

That was all fine and good, but he’d been equally blunt in letting her know that he was not and never would be in love with her. Or anyone else ever again, although if she were older he wouldn’t mind having an affair with her.

So there she was tied up in semantics again. Just what did “affair” mean? If she remembered her high school French
correctly,
affaire de coeur
meant “affair of the heart.” She didn’t hear marriage mentioned anywhere in there. In popular fiction it seemed to indicate “shacking up together.” She knew what that meant and wanted no part of it!

How could she ever meet an eligible man she could love and who would love her if she spent all her time at the Thorpe’s taking care of them and mooning over her unreciprocated love for Ethan?

The attraction between them was too strong. Before long they’d be involved in an affair no matter what the definition, and she did not want to live her life on the thin edge of respectability, unwilling to have children because their father wouldn’t acknowledge them by giving them his legal name.

There was one way she could walk that thin line. She’d have to behave like the employee she was, and not like the potential wife she’d like to be. She could mother Danny to her heart’s content because he needed mothering and there was no one else to do it.

She could be a doting granddaughter to Nate because he needed the nursing care she was trained to give and enjoyed being coddled, but Ethan was strictly off limits. He neither needed nor wanted anything from her except the services he would be paying her to minister to his father and little son.

He’d just have to keep his libido under control!

B
rittany settled back into life with the Thorpe men without a hitch. She loved living with them, and although she was supposed to have weekends off, she seldom left the house. On Ethan’s advice she’d given up her apartment. He was right, there was no reason to pay rent on it when there was plenty of room for her seven days a week in his big home. He was very scrupulous about not asking her to do any work on Saturdays and Sundays, but she always pitched in and volunteered when she saw a need.

She loved being part of a family. Although her mom and dad had loved her and she’d felt the same way about them, there had been no real closeness between her and her parents. There’d been no room in their lives for a child. She’d been raised by disinterested hired help much the same as Danny would be if Hannah hadn’t relinquished custody of him to Ethan.

The sensual tension between Brittany and Ethan had abated somewhat and they were both more relaxed. Brittany attributed this to her rigid resolve to keep her distance from him both
physically and emotionally. It wasn’t easy. In fact it was darn hard, especially when she caught him looking at her with that perplexed look in his expressive eyes after she’d chilled him out when he touched her or said something a little too personal to her, but it seemed to be paying off.

She’d learned that he could play that game, too, so they kept their conversations light and their touching nonexistent. It wasn’t as difficult as she’d expected since he usually shut himself up in the library in the evenings to read or work on lesson plans.

She and Nate played with Danny until his bedtime, at which time Nate usually retired, too, leaving Brittany to watch television or read as she chose.

It was a tenuous situation at best. So many times she wanted to touch Ethan, caress him, say something a little intimate that would make him grin and return the intimacy, but she didn’t dare. She was convinced that kind of behavior had been what prompted him to dismiss her before. He didn’t want her love. He didn’t even want her affection. He just wanted her to keep his father and his son happy and that’s what she was doing.

They seemed content, but she was restless. By mid-June the weather was hot and steamy, and although the house was air-conditioned, the atmosphere was heavy and oppressive.

Sometimes she loaded Nate and Danny in her car and took them to one of the malls. They were always downright chilly and crowded with people shopping or just wandering around enjoying the free entertainment.

One Saturday at the end of June when Ethan had taken Nate and gone over to Louisville to do some fishing in the Ohio River, she took Danny and went to Victorian Square, a restored block of nineteenth-century buildings featuring a collection of retail and specialty stores.

She was pushing Danny around in his stroller, stopping now and then to admire the arrangement of merchandise in a window, when she heard someone call her name. She turned and
blinked at the handsome dark-haired man coming up behind her.

For a moment she was perplexed, then it came to her. It was Colin McTavish! He’d been one of her group of friends the year she spent at the university. “Colin,” she said with a broad smile. “I didn’t recognize you at first. You’ve grown a beard.”

He chuckled. “And I wasn’t sure it was you. Is this yours?” He gestured toward Danny. “Is he why we don’t see you around school anymore?”

She laughed. “No, Danny’s not mine. I’m his nanny. I work for his father.”

Colin leaned down and chucked the baby under his chin. “Hi, guy,” he said, then straightened up. “He sure is a cute little fellow,” he commented, “but how are you? I’m so sorry about your parents. I was studying in France last summer and didn’t hear about the accident until I got back. By then you’d moved and everybody had lost track of you.”

She nodded. “Yes, I’m sorry.” She went on to tell him about her deceased parents’ bankruptcy and the fact that it had been necessary to drop out of the university and enroll in the abbreviated medical assistant’s course so she could support herself.

“That’s a real bummer,” Colin said, “but all the more reason for you to stay in touch with your friends. We would at least have given you the emotional support you needed.”

She patted his arm. “I know that now, but at the time I just didn’t want to see or talk to anyone.”

Danny began to chatter and pound on his stroller. Colin reached down and ruffled the child’s hair. “You okay, fella?” he asked, then turned to Brittany. “Why don’t we keep walking? We can talk while he enjoys the motion.”

“Fine,” she agreed, and started pushing the stroller slowly.

Colin told her about his summer in France and that he’d just completed his second year at the university. He bought
the three of them ice cream cones and they sat down on a fancy wrought-iron bench to eat them. Brittany had asked for a plastic spoon and used it to dish strawberry ice cream into Danny’s eagerly opened mouth.

Colin watched for a while then shook his head. “I can’t get over you working as a nanny for Professor Thorpe’s kid.”

“Why?” she asked. “Do you know the professor?”

“You better believe I do,” Colin said grimly. “I gather you didn’t take one of his classes the year you were in school?”

“Well no, I didn’t,” she admitted.

“Then take my advice and don’t. If you need to pass an English class in order to graduate, find someone else’s. This guy will flunk you if he possibly can.”

Brittany was shocked. Not the sweet, kind Professor Thorpe she knew. “I find that hard to believe.”

Colin shrugged. “I’ll have to admit I’m exaggerating, but I guarantee if you survive one of his classes you’re going to know everything there is to know about the English language.”

She giggled. “Is that so bad? It seems to me we could use more teachers like him.”

Colin used his paper napkin to wipe ice cream off Danny’s mouth and chin. “You are a messy kid, do you know that?” he chided the child good-naturedly while Danny opened his mouth and looked pleadingly at Brittany for more.

She laughed and shoveled another spoonful into it. “Just one of the joys of being a nanny.”

They watched in silence for a while as the people went by until he spoke. “Hey, look, you don’t work all the time, do you?”

She shook her head. “I have weekends off if that’s what you mean.”

“Yeah, that’s what I mean. There’s going to be a concert at the university next Saturday night called Beer and Ballet. It’s casual dress and high-class entertainment being put on by
the music department. Some of us will be getting together afterward for beer and pizza. I’ve got an extra ticket if you’d like to go with me.”

Brittany automatically opened her mouth to refuse but then closed it again. Wait a minute. She was entitled to Saturdays and Sundays off, holidays, too, but still she felt guilty even thinking about accepting Colin’s invitation.

Could it be because going out with another man felt too much like being disloyal to Ethan?

But that was just plain ridiculous! He’d never shown any interest in asking her for a date, so how could it matter to him one way or the other if she started seeing other men?

No, her feelings of guilt no doubt stemmed from her recent bereavement. It’s true she hadn’t been dating since her parents’ deaths, but that had been a year ago. It was time for her to get out, meet new people and have a little fun.

Besides, how could she ever get over her ill-advised love for Ethan if she never met other men?

She cleared her throat. “I’d love to go with you, Colin.”

After discussing what time he’d pick her up the following Saturday, Brittany and Colin parted and she headed home. Although it was almost six o’clock in the evening, the hot Kentucky sun shone brightly, and she was surprised to see Ethan’s car in the driveway. She hadn’t expected them to get back from Louisville for another couple of hours.

She got out of the car and had reached into the back to get Danny out of his car seat when the front door opened and Ethan came out. “Let me get him,” he called as he hurried toward her. “He’s too heavy for you to wrestle in and out of that seat.”

She momentarily bristled at his assumption that she was too weak to manage a squirming toddler, but then she remembered that Danny really was almost too heavy for her to heft out of tight places. She did it all the time when Ethan wasn’t there,
but if he wanted to play the gallant rescuer, who was she to object?

“Aren’t you and Nate home a little early?” she asked as he reached in and tugged Danny out of the car.

“A little,” Ethan confirmed, “but the heat over in Louisville is even muggier than it is here. I didn’t want to take a chance on Dad getting heat stroke. Besides, the fishing was lousy.”

“Sorry to hear that,” she commiserated. “Danny and I went over to Victorian Square and had a great time. He loved being pushed around in his stroller and I met up with a friend I used to run around with the year I was in college.”

“That’s nice,” Ethan said as they entered the blessedly cool house and closed the door on the heat outside. “Don’t hesitate to invite her over here anytime you want to.”

“Thank you, I will,” she said, “but it’s not a ‘her,’ it’s a ‘him’ and he’s taking me to the Beer and Ballet concert next Saturday night. I told him to pick me up here.”

Ethan had been bent over putting Danny down on the floor, but now he straightened to his full height and glared at her. “You’re going out with a man!” It was more of an exclamation than a question.

Brittany’s eyes widened. “Well, yes. Do you have something against dating?” What was the matter with him? He looked like she’d hit him.

He didn’t answer her question but came at her with a barrage of his own. “Who is he? What do you know about him? Where is he from? How come you haven’t mentioned him before? Why—”

She finally caught her breath and held up her hand. “Whoa. Slow down. I’m not asking your permission to go out with him,” she informed Ethan firmly. “I don’t ask about your dates.”

“I don’t have dates,” he growled.

“Well, that’s your problem, not mine,” she said loftily, and
followed Danny in his wobbly rush to get to his grandpa, who was watching television in the family room.

The atmosphere in the house for the rest of the evening was decidedly cool. Ethan and Brittany spoke only when necessary, and although Nate didn’t ask questions he could see that something was wrong and tried to keep the conversation going and lighten up the mood.

Brittany was perplexed. It was obvious that Ethan didn’t want her to go out with Colin, but why? She and Colin had dated casually for a year before they lost track of each other, and she knew he was born and raised in Lexington, well brought up and studying to be a civil engineer.

There was absolutely no reason for Ethan to object to their friendship.

Ethan felt as if he’d been betrayed. Like a man who’d just found out his wife was cheating on him. But Brittany wasn’t his wife, and she certainly wasn’t cheating on him. He had no right to expect her to remain celibate since he wasn’t willing to take the vows that would bind them.

But dammit, he was responsible for her! She was living in his home, caring for his father and his child, and she was so heartbreakingly young. Didn’t that entitle him to make sure she wasn’t doing anything foolish?

But what was foolish nowadays? So many of the moral codes had fallen by the wayside. If she were his daughter…but she wasn’t his daughter and the feelings he had for her were definitely not paternal.

Things had been going along fairly smoothly since she moved in with them, although he was never sure just what her feelings for him were. Before he’d made the stupid mistake of firing her, she’d seemed as eager for him as he was for her, and he’d been the one who had to put the brakes on. However, since she’d come back she’d been sweet and loving with Nate and Danny but cool and distant with him.

He’d taken the cue from her and kept his passion for her under control, but it was a constant battle with himself not to storm down the barriers and melt that icy surface.

Brittany finished bathing Danny, rocked him for a few minutes while she sang one of his favorite lullabies, and put him in his crib.

In one of the few short conversations she and Ethan had had since she’d told him about her date with Colin, Ethan had asked her to come to the library after she got Danny to bed. What did he want? Was he going to harangue her again about her date? If he did it would probably mean she’d have to look for another job, because if he didn’t fire her she’d have to quit. There wasn’t anything she wouldn’t do for Ethan if he
asked
her nicely, but she wouldn’t let any man
tell
her what she could and couldn’t do.

When she was sure Danny was settled she went downstairs and knocked on the library door. Ethan’s voice answered immediately. “Come in.”

She opened the door and he stood from where he’d been sitting behind his desk. “You don’t need to knock, Brittany,” he told her softly. “Every room in this house is open to you.”

Relief washed over her. Apparently he wasn’t going to scold her! “Thank you,” she murmured, then realized she’d used up her whole vocabulary for the moment.

“Please, sit down.” He gestured toward the chair in front of the desk then sat again behind it.

There was a short, uncomfortable interval of silence until Ethan broke it. “I…I want to apologize to you. I was way out of line earlier and I’m deeply sorry.”

She gasped. This wasn’t what she’d expected. She was glad he’d come to understand that he had no right to boss her around, but she needed to clear up a few rules. “I accept your apology, Ethan. I probably shouldn’t have been so quick to
take offense, but you caught me by surprise. I still don’t know why you were so upset.”

“Don’t you?” It was almost a whisper. “No, I suppose you don’t.” He shook his head and raised his voice. “It’s just that I’d never heard you mention a boyfriend before, and when you—”

“Colin isn’t my ‘boyfriend,”’ she informed him. “There were a group of us living on campus who were friends. We ran around together, dated each other, that sort of thing. When I didn’t go back to the university after my parents died I just sort of drifted away from them….” Her sentence trailed off as her thoughts wandered.