Professor Cline Revealed (The Professor #1) (16 page)

Mason

Emma made me feel weak and out of control, but somehow she was burrowing herself deeper inside of me. She made me look past my habits and in a sense it was liberating, yet terrifying. I’d fucked her in my classroom earlier in the day with no blindfold. At the time, it wasn’t even on my mind. I was losing control. Everything I’d worked so hard to maintain had all gone to fucking shit after only a week. I’d told her I was bad for her, but she was worse for me.

I couldn’t sleep and she was on my fucking mind all the time. There was a reason I lived my life the way I did.
Everything
I’d done was for a reason. But I knew I still wouldn’t let her go.

Getting up from my office chair, I went upstairs. My mind had been in a fog since I’d fucked Emma on my desk. There were so many things I needed to think about before I saw her again. So many things I was trying to ignore. Emotions I’d tried to forget were begging to rear their head, but only one was poking its way through.

I walked into my room and headed to the bathroom, stripping off my clothes as I went. I knew that giving into the feeling only fed the beast, but I couldn’t stop. The anxiety from not giving into it was beyond the fight of stopping it.

Standing in front of the mirror, I was disgusted as I stared into my eyes. On the outside, someone would see a man any woman would be lucky to have, but looks were deceiving. No one would be lucky to have me. I wasn’t good for anyone. Fuck, I wasn’t even good for myself.

I lived in darkness, my demons too powerful to allow anything else. I’d wished it to be different so many times, but there was no changing who I was. It was in my blood, embedded in my soul.

I reached down and pulled the drawer open to grab the razor. I still hadn’t replaced the damn thing, but I was fine with that. The more it hurt, the more relaxed I became.

Resting my hand on the counter, I stared at it as the light gleamed off the metal. I could feel myself withdrawing, something my mind usually did before a cut. An escape from my actions to avoid what I was about to do to my body.

Bringing my hand down along my hip, I pressed the razor against my skin. I’d been cutting more often than usual. It used to be twice a month, if that, but it was up to almost three times a week, maybe more. The need to remind myself what kind of person I was seemed all-empowering. It always had been.

Pushing the corner into my skin, I let out the breath I’d been holding and dragged the blade an inch across my skin. I clenched my jaw as the nerves reacted, sending pain throughout my body like someone pinched me ten times harder than any normal pinch could possible hurt. The endorphins immediately flowed through me as the blood started to run down my leg.

I stared at it in wonderment. It never seemed to feel any different. The same calm always washed over me; a high that could never be replaced. There was no drug that could make me feel that sense of relief. I knew deep down I shouldn’t feel that way, that cutting wasn’t the answer, but it was the only other control I had in my life.

On the outside, I exuded power and strength, but deep down I was still stuck in the past, not able to let go. All the wrongs I’d done weighed on my chest with no escape.

Dropping the bloodied razor into the sink, I made my way to the shower. I stepped in and let the water flow over me, my tainted blood rushing down the drain. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back into the water, running a hand through my hair. I could already feel my arousal. The sense of control I got from a cut always set me off. Pictures of Emma lying chest down on my desk with her ass in the air earlier that day flowed through my mind. It was a beautiful fucking sight, one I was sure would get me off on many occasions.

Grabbing my dick, I stroked myself slowly as I envisioned Emma on her knees in front of me. Her tongue wetting her top lip as she stared on and watched me stroke myself, all too willing to please. But I’d make her watch. I wouldn’t let her touch herself or me. She’d have to endure the agony of her arousal as she watched me get off.

Reaching down, I grabbed onto my balls and squeezed to the point of pain as I pumped myself harder to visions of Emma panting as she stared at my cock, wanting so badly to put it in her mouth.

I groaned as image after image flowed through my mind. Her fingers itching to touch, caress, and please. It was all too much. With a loud groan I came, shooting my release all over the shower wall, pumping my dick and squeezing the head as I went. Picturing releasing myself all over her face and chest and her all too willing to lick her lips and enjoy it.

I rested my head against the shower wall, taking a moment to catch my breath. I had to figure out how I was going to handle our situation because in the end, someone was going to get hurt, and it wasn’t going to be me.

After washing up and bandaging the cut, I dressed and made my way out of the house. I had things that needed to be done. I needed a new girl and there was no way to get around it.

Emmalynn

I received a text from Brian around ten Tuesday morning after my class and waited for him to arrive in the library. I was ready to get going on the case we needed to look over; anything to get my mind off Mason.

Thoughts of our night together and desk action kept flowing through my mind. I still couldn’t believe I’d done it, and it was all I was able to think about. It was consuming my every thought. I’d even looked for him when I’d arrived on campus, hoping maybe I’d run into him or just see him for a moment. It was a disturbing behavior, one I wasn’t too comfortable possessing. I’d never behaved that way with anyone else before, so I wasn’t sure how to handle it.

Brian arrived at twenty after ten with his laptop in tow. He grabbed the chair next to mine and sat with a smile.

“So, did you finish reading over that case?” he asked, situating his things on the table I’d claimed as mine.

I pulled up the case notes I’d typed the night before and pointed to them. “I got a lot done last night. What about you?”

“Yeah, I have a lot of notes, too.” He pulled out a notebook and flipped open to his pages of notes. “Reading over this case makes me wish I could’ve been the detective on the scene. They have just as much to prove as we do as lawyers, ya know.”

I smiled and nodded as I pulled out my case file and opened it to the back page where Mason had listed some points he wanted proved.

“So, this is what I’m thinking,” I started as I went over all my ideas on the case and what I thought was missing.

We each discussed our notes and I was surprised to see we had the same mentality of thinking. We both thought the wife did it, but we had our differences on the motive. We’d each have to do some digging on the wife and per Mason’s notes, we needed to be creative in retrieving any information, but do it legally. He wouldn’t be subject to anything we did that would get us into trouble.

After two and a half hours of going over information and coming up with a plan on how we could investigate a little further, we decided to break for lunch.

We walked to a nearby deli and ordered their special platter before finding a seat in the back where there weren’t many people.

“So, tell me about yourself,” Brian suggested as he took a bite of his sandwich.

I smiled and took a drink of my soda before I spoke.

“There’s not much to tell, really. I’m from Florida, and I’ve lived in New York for four years. My mom and dad still live down south, but my sister actually lives out here, too. She’s also a lawyer,” I said, giving him a cheesy smile before taking a bite of my sandwich.

“That’s it? No juicy information, like whether you have a boyfriend or a long-lost love you’ve been searching for your whole life?” he asked with a grin.

I shook my head as I finished chewing. “I don’t have a boyfriend,” I answered as he smiled down at me, causing a blush to rise to my cheeks.

I hoped he wasn’t getting the wrong idea with our study partner thing, because I really didn’t want it to be awkward. “I’m actually not looking for anything while I’m in school. I just want to focus on the work. There really isn’t time for anything more than that.” I picked up a chip and ate it, avoiding eye contact. I finally looked up to ask, “What about you? What’s your life story?”

He sat back in his seat and wiped his mouth. “I don’t have much to tell, either. My life is pretty boring, really. I’m born and raised in New York. My father is a banker and my mother stays at home. I’d say her job was to shop, but she’d slap me upside the head if she heard me,” he said with a smile and I laughed. “I was a nerd growing up, always having my head in the books. My dad thought I’d follow in his footsteps and go into finance, but it wasn’t what I wanted. So here I am.” He gestured with his arms.

I looked at him suspiciously. “I get the feeling there’s more to the story than that.”

He smiled. “There might be, but you’ll never know,” he replied with a wink.

“So, do you have a girlfriend or a long-lost love you’ve been searching for?” I asked, repeating his line of questioning.

He shook his head. “I haven’t had a girlfriend in a long time, but I
am
searching.” He looked into my eyes as he said those last words, causing a sweat to form on my skin.

I bit my lip and averted my eyes, trying to hold back my laugh. “That’s good to know.”

An awkward silence filled the space as we continued to eat, and I wondered if he was directing that comment at me.

I grabbed my soda to take a sip when I noticed him staring at me.

“What?” I questioned, raising an eyebrow.

He laid his sandwich on his plate and folded his hands on the table, looking as if he was going into serious mode.

“Can I ask you something personal without you taking offense to it?” he asked in a sincere tone.

I squinted at him trying to gauge why he wanted to ask me something personal. I wasn’t sure I wanted to get into anything personal, but since he’d asked me not to take offense to his question I was very curious as to what he was going to say.

I placed my drink down and rested my hands on my legs under the table. “Okay,” I answered slowly.

He bit at his lip and let out a sigh, something I knew I would do if I were about to say something that either made me uncomfortable or was hard to say. I immediately went on guard and held my breath as I waited for him to speak.

He looked at me and then shook his head.

“Never mind, forget I said anything.”

“Oh, no you don’t. You have me on pins and needles over here now, so just come out—”

“Is there something going on with you and Professor Cline?” he blurted, cutting me off.

My mouth hung open and my eyes widened in shock. I didn’t know what to say. Where the hell would he get that idea?

My stomach formed knots as I tried to think of what to say. I knew the longer I stayed quiet the more guilty I looked, but honestly, where did he even get off asking me that question?

“I’m sorry, but
what
?” I responded, deciding to play stupid.

He smiled, not a genuine smile but a nervous one. I didn’t know him very well, but I could tell the difference.

“I know it’s none of my business, but I just wanted to tell you that if it were true, then you need to be more careful,” he explained quietly.

I shook my head in disbelief. “Why would you even think to ask me something like that?”

He leaned forward on the table and stared into my eyes. “I heard you,” he whispered as he averted his eyes to my chest. “I left class and remembered I needed to talk to him about something. I came back up to head to his office when I passed the room.” He looked at me, my face flushing with embarrassment. “I wasn’t exactly sure what was going on, but I had an idea.” He looked down and fiddled with his hands. I just stared down at the table, not knowing what to say. “I hid around the corner and waited. I’m not sure why. I should have left, but my curiosity won out. Then a couple minutes later, I saw you leave.”

I looked up to meet his gaze, so flushed I could feel the heat coming off my body. I knew there was a possibility someone would hear, but I’d never thought someone would actually approach me about it. I was completely mortified.

“I’m not sure what to say,” I whispered as I fiddled with my hands in my lap.

“I didn’t bring this up to embarrass you, Emma. I just wanted to say that if there is something going on, you both need to be more careful, like I said. If you’re serious about being an attorney, then I’d highly suggest not sleeping with your professor.”

I looked up to meet his gaze and frowned, anger starting to build in my chest. It seemed like he was starting to judge me and I didn’t like it. Who was he to say anything about what I did?

“We met before school ever started. I didn’t know who he was until the first day of class. And you’re right; it is none of your business.”

Scooting my chair out, I grabbed my bag from the floor and turned to leave when I felt a hand wrap around my arm.

“Please don’t go, Emma. I’m just trying to be a friend, I swear. I’m not going to say anything else about it. Just please sit down,” he begged.

I jerked my arm from his hold. I could appreciate someone trying to be a friend, but he didn’t know me.

“Thank you for your concern, but I have to leave now.  I’ll see you in class tomorrow, okay?” I said as I started to turn from him. “Let’s pretend this never happened.”

He nodded with a remorseful expression and I left. Tears pricked my eyes as I made my way to the subway. Brian was right; I
knew
he was right. My whole career was on the line. My
scholarship
was on the line. What was I doing? Why couldn’t I stay away? I was so drawn to him and I couldn’t understand it.

I’d have to tell him Brian knew. I didn’t want to, but he deserved to know. He had to have known there was a chance we’d get caught in his classroom. Maybe that was why he did it. I didn’t know, but I was completely on edge about the whole thing. I needed to talk to someone about it.

Pulling out my phone, I sent a text to Victoria.

Me: Hey, can you talk?

V: Yes, you want to come to my place?

Me: I’ll be there in twenty. Getting on the subway now.

V: K.

~*~

I arrived at Victoria’s and knocked on her door as I tried to figure out how I was going to tell her about everything that had happened. I was bouncing back and forth between having just told her nothing had happened to admitting Mason and I had been together twice. It was a whirlwind of activity.

She opened the door with a smile and turned to walk back down the hall, expecting me to follow.

I closed it and made my way in behind her as she walked into the living room.

“So, what’s going on?” she asked, patting the seat next to her. “You never come over here without something on your mind to talk about, so spill it.”

I laughed. “That’s not true,” I stated. “I come over here just to hang out, too.”

“Whatever.” She rolled her eyes. “Just spill it,” she repeated, motioning with her hand.

“So, Mason and I had sex,” I blurted, just getting it out there.

She stared at me with a stunned expression and I laughed. I couldn’t help it. I knew she would have that reaction.

“Oh, shit. No, you didn’t. When?

“Friday night,” I said, biting my lip.

“You slut. No way. Are you serious?”

She was being overly dramatic.

I laughed. “Yes, but that’s not all I wanted to tell you.”

“Well, what the fuck! Tell me.”

I laughed again. “I’d rather keep you in suspense,” I teased and she gave me the death stare. “Fine, this is what I needed to talk to you about, okay?” She nodded. “I’ll tell you everything that’s happened, but I need your best advice on what to do because I’m so damn confused. I know deep down what I
should
do, but don’t really want to do it. I’m having an inner battle, and it’s fucking with my emotions.”

She nodded again.

I told her about what had happened Friday night. How I saw him at the club and decided to go home with him. I didn’t go into detail about the sex, but I told her he’d basically escorted me out the door immediately after. She frowned at that part, but then I told her about the classroom.

“Oh, my God, Em. That is so fucking hot. I’m getting turned on just hearing about it.” She laughed.

“Yeah, but that’s not the worst part.”

“What happened?”

I told her about Brian.

“Just tell Mason, Em. As of right now, the worst that could happen is he’d break things off. Maybe Brian was just trying to be a nice guy. You know, there
are
still guys out there who are good. And yes, I say all of this when I have no boyfriend, but I still have hope.” She smiled. “If you feel like this isn’t something you can handle, then don’t. Break it off now. Mason seems like a dominant and controlling guy, so you need to be careful. I know I told you to go for it in the beginning, but I don’t want this to turn bad for you, okay?”

I gave her a small smile and nodded. “You know, you always make me feel better.”

She laughed. “That’s what I’m here for, babe.”

~*~

The next morning, I couldn’t get Brian’s conversation out of my head, and it made me anxious about getting to class. I was extremely nervous about talking to Mason. The problem was I didn’t want Brian to see me alone with him since he knew what happened. It made me uncomfortable and it felt like I was doing something I wasn’t supposed to be, which in that case I technically was. I just didn’t want to look bad, so I had no idea when I’d be able to talk to him. I’d have to wait and see if he called me after class, or I could call his office line at the school and leave him a message, but I didn’t think that was appropriate.

I just had to wait and see what happened.