Progress (The Progress Series) (7 page)

“Okay.”

She drove to a convenience store close to her house and parked in the lot.

“I’ll be right back. You need anything?” he asked, peeking his head back in through the car window.

“Nope, I’m good.”

She sat listening to his music in her Taurus and idly thought it would be a good album to work out to. She lit a cigarette and waited.

After a few minutes he returned.

“Hey, foxy. I got somethin’ for you.”

“Did you finally buy me some smokes?” she joked.

“I got you this.” Jesse held up a men’s bathroom sign. It was blue with a handicapped stick-person on the front, and in big white letters spelled MEN.

“Did you steal this?” she shouted a whisper at him.

“Yes. What? Don’t look at me like that. It was starting to fall off the door – it was just begging me to take it.”

“You’re unbelievable. But thank you for the gift. I’ll treasure it, always.” She faked her endearment. “I do hope this is enough ‘trouble’ for you tonight. I will not spend the night in jail.”

Little did he know that she
would
treasure it. It would be one of those items that she would pack in a miscellaneous box everywhere she moved for the rest of her life, never forgetting where it came from or how it came to be in her possession.

“You wanna go check up on your frogs?” he asked.

“Sure. We could do that. But I can’t stay up all night again – I’m starting to look old.” She had a slight look of revulsion on her face.

“Old? What, you’re twenty-three? That’s not old. Try being twenty-six...” he said.

“Ha! Yeah, because twenty-six is just fossil! I said I was starting to
look
old.” She laughed.

“It’s crazy. Twenty-six years old.” He took a moment of contemplation before continuing. “I think about my mom and dad. They were married and had a four-year-old by now. I can’t even imagine having a kid at my age.”

“Your real mom and dad?” she asked.

He nodded and then silence.

Looking out the window in deep thought, he said, “Your skin is beautiful. You don’t need to worry about looking old.”

A shy smile crossed her face as she drove quietly on the way to the park.
That was sweet
.

“That’s my house, right there.” Charlie pointed as they passed.

“Seriously? That one?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I must have passed your house hundreds of times. It’s just weird, that’s all,” he said.

After she parked, they got out and he grabbed a quilt from her backseat. The car ride had given her some time to consider how she would ask him.

“Can I ask you a question?” she said.

“Shoot.”

“If it’s too personal or if you don’t want to tell me, you can just tell me to piss off. Seriously, no hard feelings...”

“Ask it, Red.”

“What happened with your real parents?” Flinching, she braced herself for his answer.

He took a few minutes before he responded. “I wasn’t a good kid. They were even worse parents.”

“Oh. Okay.” He carried the bundled quilt out to their spot and laid it out. They both plopped down and lit a cigarette. She didn’t say anything further in hope he would clarify what that meant, but the next time he spoke, he changed the subject.

“Why haven’t you had sex yet? Waiting for a knight in shining armor?” he asked.

Yikes! Wasn’t expecting that question.
“Knight? Are you kidding me? I’m not waiting for anyone! In fact, if there was a way I could just get rid of it, I would. I’m kind of embarrassed about it.”

He nodded, smiling. “Normally, I would agree with you. But, for some reason it suits you.”

“I don’t even want to know what you mean by that.” She rolled her eyes and her posture changed.

“When I first lost my virginity, it was a disaster. I was sixteen and she was a year or two older than me. I wanted her so badly, I was so eager, I don’t even think I was inside her yet. It was over in seconds. Literally,
seconds
. She told all her friends the next day how horrible I was in bed. I couldn’t wait to get out of high school. I was known as the ‘Six-Second Screw.’” He shuddered at his memory. “I mean, you don’t want to give it away to just anyone, do you? C’mon Red. Don’t be like the rest of us.”

She laughed at his story briefly, and then retorted, “I thought it was apparent that I’m not. I’m
nothing
like
anyone
. I’m a fucking anomaly. I’m still a virgin and I don’t even have a cell phone. Tell me the last time you met a twenty-three-year-old virgin.”

“Ha! Never! Maybe you should get a cell phone and the rest will fall into place?”

“Thanks.” She couldn’t hide her grin. “Maybe I will. Tomorrow.”

“Here, come here. I’ll take your virginity from you. Right now. Seriously…” he said, smiling.

“Fuck you. If you were even remotely serious, you wouldn’t have waited this long. Besides, if it’s only going to take six seconds, I think I’ll pass,” she said, playfully.

“You
are
incredibly foxy, you know. I like your feistiness.” His smile widened.

She rolled her eyes again
.
Are we actually having this conversation?

“Well, whoever it ends up being is sure in for an overwhelming treat. I’ll have years of built-up sexual tension waiting to unleash on him.” She laughed and waited for his reaction.

He joined her in laughter and looked off into the distance considering her words. After a moment, he brought up another subject.

“Oh, I wrote a song! Did I tell you?” His giddiness returned.

“No. What’s it about?”

“Oh, well…It’s about a guy and girl that hang out all the time and when they finally kiss for the first time, it’s so sweet.” He took the last drag from his cigarette and flicked it into the pond.

Her smile faded.
Was that supposed to mean something? How do I even comment on that? I know I’m a little naïve here, but that was a total confession. I think.

“Well then. You’ll have to play it for me sometime. I still haven’t heard you play.”
There, that left it open-ended.

“You will, someday. I promise.”

Oh god. I gotta change the subject quick before my body catches fire.

“So, tell me more about your real father.” Whoops. She didn’t mean to ask again.

He took a sharp inhale. “What is your obsession with my parents? They were assholes. What more is there?” His volume was starting to increase.

“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to ask you. It’s none of my business. But--” she tried to continue.

“But what?” He stood and clenched his jaw, his hands balling into fists. “But if I ever want to talk about it, you’ll listen? But if there’s anything you can do to help, you will? But you really should try to mend the relationship because you only get one father? Anything you could possibly say right now has been said before and honestly, I’m sick of it. I don’t need to talk about it. I don’t need your pity. I don’t need
you
at all!” he screamed and raged toward the street.

Um, holy shit.

She was left alone at the park again. In the dark. By the same guy. That was not where she had seen the conversation going.

Time to do some research.

After making a fifteen-minute stop to purchase a cell phone, Charlie went to the library. She was sure she’d be there most of the day, so she chose a computer kiosk in the back corner of the children’s section. She got comfortable and quickly called home to give her parents her new cell phone number.

“Hey Mom! You got a pen?”

“Hang on…yep, got it.”

“I just got a new phone. The number is 954-544-6590. Did you get that?”

“Yep, got it! Oh, by the way, Jesse called earlier when I wasn’t home. You can call our voicemail to listen to his message, I’ll let it ring.”

“Jesse called?”
How did he get my phone number?

“Yes, that’s what he said his name was. I gotta run, but I’ll see you tonight, okay? I’m making pot roast,” her mother said.

“Okay, thanks, Ma.”

Charlie hung up the phone and quickly dialed her home number again to access the voicemail.

“Um, hey, it’s me. Jess.” He paused for a brief moment, “I’m, ah. I’m…not. Well, I guess it’ll just have to…sorry. I’ll just talk to you tomorrow. Or, you could call me tonight. If you want. Um, bye.”

He called.
She bit her bottom lip, grinning, not able to disguise her rambling thoughts of her new friend.

Trying to ignore the distraction, she began pulling books off the shelf about bipolar disorder, depression, Multiple Personality Disorders, mental and physical abuse as a child, low self-esteem (that one was for her), and ADHD.

She had a huge stack of books on her desk, but she decided to familiarize herself with the definitions of each subject so that she wouldn’t get them confused. She turned to the internet. First, she typed in a search of his name. The only results she found were a few old social media profiles and a high school alumni site.
Well, I probably won’t find much, considering his real last name isn’t Anders. I think he said a foster family adopted him.

After about an hour’s worth of browsing and remembering the bookshelf in Jesse’s house, she found a medical website she wanted to dig into a little deeper.

Bipolar disorder is a condition in which people go back and forth between periods of a very good or irritable mood and depression. The “mood swings” between mania and depression can be very quick.

The exact causes of bipolar disorder are unknown as it affects both men and women equally. Symptoms usually manifest between the ages of 15-25 and is likely to occur more often in relatives of people with bipolar disorder.

Episodes may be triggered by life changes such as childbirth, steroids or antidepressants, periods of sleeplessness and recreational drug use.

The manic phase may last from days to months. It can include symptoms such as: easily distracted, little need for sleep, poor judgment, poor temper control, reckless behavior, elevated mood, excess activity and racing thoughts.

*

Hours passed as Charlie wrapped herself up in his world. The more she read, the more she could feel the crease between her eyes beco
me permanent, and her hands began to shake. Realizing she hadn’t eaten since breakfast, she checked out a few select books on bipolar disorder
and packed up for the day. It was now six o’clock in the evening.

“I gotta get food,” she thought out loud.

Charlie didn’t want fast food, so she drove to The Crimson. It was only five minutes farther, and she wanted something a little healthier than her mom’s pot roast. It was after the dinner rush but too early for the regular drunks. There would probably be a seat available in the bar.

She plopped down into a booth and placed her order with Angie. “Stir-fry Chicken Salad – dressing on the side – and water, please.”

“Sure thing! Oh, are you sticking around tonight?” Angie asked.

“No. I’m just going to eat and go home. I want to exercise and I need to sleep. I’m exhausted. My eyes hurt,” Charlie said while rubbing her face and running her hands through her hair. “Why?”

“Oh, I was just going to see if you wanted to go see a movie, but I don’t even know what’s playing,” Angie said.

“Yeah, maybe another time. In fact, let’s plan for a Sunday matinee? I’ll see what’s playing and pick something fun.” Charlie spoke but was feeling queasy from exhaustion and forgetting to eat.

“Hey Foxy!” Jesse came out of nowhere and sat down on the seat next to her.

“Jesus! You gotta stop doing that!”

“That’s my cue. We’ll chat later about Sunday, Char.” Angie directed her words towards Charlie and refused to look at Jess. She turned and walked back towards the bar.

“I don’t think she likes me very much.” Jesse’s words slurred and Charlie knew.

“How much have you had to drink tonight?” she scolded.

He didn’t comment on her accusation and changed the subject.

“Hey, do you think Christy would fuck me? She turns eighteen in a couple of weeks…” He threw himself back into the seat, staring at Christy and biting his bottom lip. Charlie looked behind her at Christy’s petite frame and scowled.

“You’re unbelievable. She
turns
eighteen in a couple of weeks? Doesn’t that make you a pedophile? And, if I’m not mistaken, these girls are all pretty…
innocent
. Isn’t that against your rules or something?”

“Oh, I forgot. You haven’t felt the wrath of my love yet.” Jesse leaned in toward Charlie and trailed kisses just underneath her ear. He then gently tugged on her lobe with his teeth. “You’re eighteen, right?”

Her skin instantly goosebumped. Her breathing changed pace and her flight instincts took over. Everything about this man was wrong. He treated her poorly, some of the time. He was a physical god, so it didn’t make sense to her why he’d want her. He was hot one second and cold the next. But at that moment she wanted him, immeasurably.