Promise Kept (Perry Skky Jr.) (17 page)

“C
ome on, Tori, you know this feels good. Just say yes,” I said as I kissed my girlfriend of two years on the ear.

When she pulled away, it ticked me off worse than I could describe. Why’d she lead me on? I had committed to dating only her for the past two years and now that we were into the third, it was time for her to put up or, dag, I’d have to move on.

“You’re mad,” she said as she bit her pretty fingernails.

The stare I gave her was cold. There was no need to answer her question. I had just gone from really wanting to be with her to wanting our relationship to be over. I mean, I didn’t have time to play games. This is my senior year. I was a highly recruited wide receiver. The schools in the Atlantic Coast Conference and the South Eastern Conference wanted me badly. Every time I stepped into a party, girls were lining up to get with me. And here I was, trying to do the right thing. Wanting to be faithful to one girl. All for nothing.

Before I could make it to the door, Tori pulled me back into her arms.

“Perry, don’t walk out like this. I love you. I’m just not ready. I know this is your last year in high school and all, but I’m not ready for sex. You used to understand that. Why are you changing all of a sudden?”

I shrugged. “I got different needs now. I can’t explain it. I just don’t know. I’m tired of this game, Tori. I want your actions to speak louder than your words.”

I went and sat back down on the couch and put my head down on my knees and tried to cool off. The girl needed to let me leave. She wasn’t ready to do nothing. Maybe our relationship had gone as far as it could go.

I believed in God, but I wasn’t really completely walking with the Lord. I was baptized in the sixth grade and felt that God and I had an understanding. Though He wanted me to remain pure until marriage, I believed He would be straight with the fact that I wasn’t trying to sleep around like my crazy boys.

I wanted my first time to be with a girl I deeply cared for. I only wanted the best for Tori. I didn’t want anybody to mess with her. I liked protecting her and having her around. Yeah, Tori Guice was the one I wanted to take things to the next level with, but she wouldn’t let me. I lifted up my head when I felt her stroking the back of my neck.

Even physically I had changed a lot in the last year. My body had stretched from 6 feet 1 inch to 6 feet 3 inches. Everybody kept hollering at me, askin’ when would I play hoops. But football was my thing. The extra height would be a plus to the new season, with me trying to impress all the college coaches. There wasn’t too many defenders, corner backs or defensive backs that would be able to cover me on the field. I knew my extra height would give me an advantage to catch balls thrown high with my name on them. Even the track coach was on me to run in the off season.

Every aspect of my life was cool except this one. My older sister, Payton, would be out of my hair away at college in a bit. Actually, I liked her a lot more now than I did when she used to take up the bathroom space. She had much drama her senior year and I wasn’t going there. My grades were good. I had five college visits set up in the next three months and had turned down five more. My dad had hooked me up with a two-door sports ride from his dealership. Life was on the up for the most part.

Yeah, Tori was a cutie and I wanted to stay with her, but she wasn’t going to mess up my flow.
Now what was she doing?
I thought. She knew better than to stroke my head like that. She was making a brotha feel things that made my heart race fast. I turned toward her and kissed her passionately til she pulled away from me again.

“Perry, I thought you liked me for
me
. I thought you were okay with the fact that I didn’t want to go all the way,” she said as she fastened her pants I’d worked hard to unloose.

“Obviously you don’t understand,” I said to her as I got up. “I’m tired of being the bad guy for wanting my girlfriend to make me feel good. You know I’m a good guy. I don’t mistreat you and I’ve never cheated on you. Reward me!”

I had been at her house for two hours and I had only intended to be there for about an hour ’cause we knew her dad would walk through the door at six. Now it was after six. And there Mr. Guice was—standing tall.

He squinted his eyes and surveyed the room. “Perry, I thought you were only supposed to drop my daughter off. Tori, is your mom home?”

I knew I was thrown up under the bus at that point (a saying my dad always used when trouble came his way). Maybe God was up there watching out for me. I couldn’t imagine being caught in the position I wanted us to be in. Mr. Guice would have had my head for sure.

I walked toward the door. “Hey, sir, sorry, sorry. I gotta go.”

“Nah, man, wait. Let’s talk about the upcoming football season. My daughter stressing you out?” he asked as he gave Tori a disappointed smirk.

It was always funny to me how fathers tolerated a little extra when their daughter was dating a guy they respected. I watched my dad do that with Payton’s boyfriends, Dakari and Tad. Now Mr. Guice was playing that stuff with me. I mean, really, what did he think we were in here arguing about? Our clothes were on, but they weren’t straight.

“Oh, Dad, you think it’s my fault? Well, how’s this? Your hero Perry Skky Jr. wants to have sex with me. Should I do that to keep him happy?” Upset, Tori walked right past her father and went outside.

Mr. Guice leaned so close up to me I could feel the fire in his heart. “Is what my daughter said true, son? I don’t mind y’all having a kiss here and a hug sometimes, but we had an understanding. You promised me no lines would be crossed. You changing the rules on me?”

Boy, I didn’t want to lie to that man. However, there was no way that I could tell him that some nights all I could think about was his daughter’s chest, lips and thighs. I was raised in a good home. My folks taught me to be a cool kid but have respect for my elders. I wasn’t a punk, but I wasn’t a thug, either. My boys ragged me for not having sex sometimes, but I held my own so they knew not to take jokes too far. Actually, I think they appreciated my stance. How was I to answer Tori’s dad?

“What’s up? You can’t even be man enough to tell me that you wanna take my daughter’s innocence away?” he asked as I stood frozen before him. “I know. I remember what high school was like. So listen here, partner: I’m gonna let you walk out my house with all your faculties intact ’cause you gonna do one of two things—remember the rules of this game or play with another girl. Are we clear?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Now, you go out there and tell my daughter to get her tail back in here, talking smart to me like she done lost her mind. I gotta set her straight, too.”

“All right, sir.”

I grabbed my keys and headed out the door. I had every intent of getting in my car, pumping up the music and cruising on home. I couldn’t find Tori, though. When I did, she was in her backyard under the gazebo, crying. I cared too much for her to just stroll away.

When I sat down beside her and touched her hand, her eyes were closed but she knew it was me. As she fell into my arms, a part of me wanted to forget everything I wanted and stop wanting more. But was that realistic?

I prayed to God: “
Lord, this is hard. As I smell my girlfriend’s sweet perfume, I want something from her that You tell me I shouldn’t have now. I’m struggling and really need You to help me keep my feelings checked.”

“Perry, I’m sorry,” she said, still sobbing. “I do wanna be with you. I know you could have anybody at our school and you want me. Ciara and Briana tell me all the time how I need to just put out.”

“Listen to me, Tori,” I said as I lifted her up off my shoulder. “I only want you if you want me. It ain’t right for me to force you into doing it my way, and you shouldn’t let your girls dish you into doing it the way they do, ’cause, trust me, my boys Damarius and Cole don’t deserve them.”

Tori laughed with tears still flowing. She knew how true that was. They were players and though I didn’t agree with them being untrue to their girls, I couldn’t stop them. That’s why I guess I was so mad that Tori wasn’t ready for us to go further. I wasn’t planning to do her like that. Even though I wanted her in my life, we were at a gridlock. I had to end this.

Kissing her on the forehead, I said, “Tori, I don’t want to hurt you. You know you got my heart, but we want something different. I got to let this go for now, you and me.”

“No, Perry, no! Please don’t do that.”

As if she wasn’t already crying hard enough, she flipped out in a way I’d never seen. But I had never broken up with her before. Even though I was moved, I realized something had a hold on her that was making her not take it to the next level with me. I knew it was her Christian beliefs. How could I mess with that? I was struggling with letting God down myself. I had to leave her alone even though it was killing me to see her so sad.

“You’ll always be special to me, though, Tori. Your dad wants you inside. Call me.” Then I squeezed her hands, left the gazebo and drove away.

I wasn’t in my room for five minutes when my crazy sister opened up the door without knocking.

“Hey, little brother. What’s up?” she asked, too bubbly for me.

Payton had a couple more weeks before she went back to school at the University of Georgia. She and I had done a lot of fun stuff over the summer. We went white-water rafting on our family trip to California. We spent time sightseeing in DC. I actually enjoyed the Broadway play we saw in New York. My sister was the bomb, but at that moment I needed my space.

“Oh, so you don’t wanna talk to me,” she said, being her naturally obtrusive self. “I know when you shut your door somethin’ ain’t right.”

“What you talking about?”

“Who’s done something to you?”

“If you gotta know, I cut Tori off.”

“Oh, I know what this is about. So it’s like that,” my sister said as she stood near my bed. “You think you’re ready?”

“Guess so.”

“Then I’m so glad Tori stood her ground. I’m going to just let you sit here and sulk about the mistake you just made.”

As Payton shut my door, I knew she was right. I was already regretting my decision, but it was done and I was going to stand by it. I didn’t need to be tied down, no way. This was my senior year and I was going to get
mine
. The Lord just needed to help me find out what
mine
really was.

“Y
ou a punk. A little mama’s boy. That’s why you won’t have a drink,” Damarius taunted as I helped him carry beer from the car to his house for the New Year’s Eve jam he was about to host.

I was tired of it. He could call me whatever he wanted to. Say whatever he wanted to say. I didn’t care. He wasn’t going to pressure me into doing something I wasn’t ready to do.

“Come on, Cole,” Damarius said, looking to our friend for back up. “You need to admit it too. That’s what you think of his tail. Do you think he all that? He hadn’t never even had a piece, drank a little nip or smoked a joint. Dang! Perry ain’t no real man yet.”

I wanted to take one of those six packs and bust him across the head with it. But because we were late setting things up, I let it go. As we entered the house, Cole spoke up.

“All right you two. Kiss and make up,” he said before Damarius and I went our separate ways.

It didn’t take the place long to fill up. Not only were there a lot of kids from my school in the house, but folks from all over Augusta were showing up. I felt sort of bad that I didn’t call my girl, Savoy, but honestly the whole commitment thing was scaring me a bit. I didn’t want to feel pressured into a relationship with her. I hadn’t seen her since Christmas night, but I thought about her all the time.

As I walked around scanning the crowd, I thought about Damarius accusing me of being a punk. So if a brother didn’t get high or get wasted, then he wasn’t cool? I knew Damarius was just jealous. I didn’t need anything to make me feel good about me. I was high off of life. College coaches were always trying to persuade me to change my choice from going to Georgia Tech. Girls always trying to get with me. Brothers always wanting me to attend their functions or just to hang out with them to raise their stock with the ladies. I had it like that.

At that moment, none of that meant a thing to me. I wanted respect from my boy. Was proving to him that I could handle alcohol the only way I could get him off my back? I don’t know why I was letting him get to me. Maybe I should just pray about it. After all, I had learned this year that if I just give it to God, He’d make my situation better.

Deep down I had to admit that I felt as if I was at the sidelines looking on. I peered in like I was watching this stuff on the TV or something. Maybe I had issues and I needed to release, let go, and get down.

When I stepped into the hallway, I saw Jaboe, a thug from down the block. Jaboe was a high school dropout who should have graduated with my sister’s class two years ago, but he started selling drugs. He told the world that he could make way more money hustling than he ever could the legitimate way.

“Hey man. I’m good for it! You ain’t gotta jack me up like that,” Damarius told Jaboe as the thug grabbed him by his collar and squeezed it tight.

What did my boy get himself into? It was hard for me to believe that he was doing drugs. The pressure of wanting to get into a major college had given my buddy a new perspective on right from wrong.

“I want some bills, boy. I don’t want no change,” Jaboe said as he slung the coins in his hand to the floor. “You got all these folks in here for free. You better start charging some money next time you have a party ’cause I want my paper. If I don’t get it next week, not only will you be cut off from the stash,” he said as he took a knife out of his pocket and put it to Damarius’s face, “but you know what else is next.”

Damarius tried talking his way out of the problem. “All right, dude. Ease up! I’m gonna get yo’ money. Give me a little credit. You know I’m good for it.”

I had no idea that my boy was smoking more than cigarettes. No wonder his grades were slipping.

Regardless of how he felt about me, I had to stop him from messing his life up. Like Reverend McClep preached at church last Sunday, I was my brother’s keeper. I wasn’t going to let Damarius go down like that. I saw Jaboe pull out a dime bag and I quickly intercepted it, as if I was a defensive back on the field or something and tossed it back up in his face. “He doesn’t want that,” I said to Jaboe.

I looked over his shoulder at the two guys with him. One had cornrows with even parts going down to the back of his head and a grill, and the other dude was thicker than Mr. T himself. They stepped toward me, but I wasn’t backing down. I didn’t care how long Damarius had been messing around with that stuff. It was going to end today.

“Come on, Perry. What’s up? You crazy? This is business,” Damarius said to me.

“Is there a problem?” Jaboe asked, his eyes threatening.

“No, man, there ain’t no problem,” Damarius said, stepping between us.

“Like D said, no problem. He just don’t need your stuff. So thanks for coming,” I said, pointing to the front door.

“What’s up, Damarius? You gonna let him talk for you? Or a betta question, you gonna let him talk to me like that?” Jaboe pulled up his sweater and showed us he was packing.

Throwing my hands up, I said, “I don’t mean no disrespect Jaboe. Look, he just don’t need it, all right?”

“Yeah, I hear you.” He laughed and dropped his top, concealing the weapon again. “Cool, I ain’t trying to push my stuff off on anybody, but I do want my money.”

“You’ll get it. Soon, man,” Damarius promised.

Jaboe and his gangster boys left. Damarius tried to go off on me about the whole thing.

Getting in my face, he said, “Man! What’s up? Are you crazy? You’ll mess up your whole life getting in Jaboe’s way.”

I couldn’t believe he tried to play me instead of thank me. “You need to pay him the little money you owe him and leave him alone before you end up like him, on the corner somewhere. He’s reduced to hiding out from the cops and bullying folks into giving him dollars.”

“You don’t know what you just did, Perry. Stay out of my business,” he said, shaking his head as he walked past me to join the crowd in the living room. I was just about to leave the party when I heard Damarius announce over the DJ’s system, “Hey y’all! Hey y’all! Y’all know my boy Perry here don’t drink, right?”

What he was doing? Why was he calling me out like that?

“But it’s New Year’s Eve, and we want him to have a little fun, right y’all?” The crowd started chanting, “Yeaaa, Perry! Drink! Drink! Drink!”

I went over to him and whispered, “What’s up with this?”

“You all up in my business! You can’t knock what I enjoy until you try it. Was I right earlier, Perry? Are you a punk?”

Without even thinking, I took the beer out of his hand, twisted off the top, and gulped it down. I didn’t even have time to decide if I liked the taste or not. A random guy from the crowd ran up to me with another one. I wasn’t no punk. Damarius was not about to play me like that. I twisted off the cap and chugged that one down, too.

“Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!” folks called out.

“Can you handle one more, big boy?” Damarius dared.

Cole came up and said, “Man, that’s enough. What you trying to do to him, D?”

“I can handle it. I’ll show you it ain’t all that. Give me another one.” All I could hear was more chanting from the crowd when I drank the next brew.

After a few minutes I was feeling a little light-headed. But it was all good. Someone handed me another one with the top already off. I couldn’t tell if someone had drunk out of it or not, but it really didn’t matter. I drank it down, and when I was done, the crowd yelled and screamed louder than fans did at any football game I’d ever played in. I was feeding off of it. A couple of girls came up to me and got close: one in the front and one in the back. They swayed their hips from left to right, and my hips started moving too. Oh, the party was on.

Damarius came up to me. “Dang, man. You can hold your stuff. All right. All right. My bad.” He laughed and walked away.

After a couple of dances, I went up to the DJ and started trying to spin records, which I have no skills with at all on a regular day. But being a little intoxicated, nobody could tell me that I wasn’t the life of the party. The sad thing was that I couldn’t go anywhere without the two girls, Q and Jo, following me. It was cute, but I was getting tired of them.

“You know what? Y’all gotta give a brother some space. Dang, I can’t even dance with nobody else.”

They looked as if I had hurt their feelings.

“I’m sorry. I’m just being honest.”

“You all right, boy?” Damarius said as he came over to me and handed me another beer. “I thought you wanted this. I didn’t want you to have to look for it.”

Cole grabbed it out of my hand. “No, no, D. He done had enough for real.”

“Whatcha mean, I done had enough?”

“Tell ’em. Perry, tell ’em. You feeling good right about now, right?” Damarius said.

“Good? I feel the same. Whatcha talking about?”

I was so out of it, I didn’t even know what Damarius was talking about.

“Naw, Perry,” Cole said, turning away.

“Man, give me that beer!” I grabbed the beer out of my boy’s hand, spilling some of it on the floor. Sipping the beer, I stepped around my boys so I could get back to dancing.

I stopped and had to blink my eyes a couple of times when I saw my ex, Tori, standing in the middle of a crowd. She still looked as fine as she always did. Her hair was all done up, her nails were manicured just right, and she was wearing this cute little pink number that hugged her body just right.

“What’s up girl? Dang. A brother can’t get no love.”

She yanked my hand and pulled me down the hall. She pushed me into Damarius’s bedroom and shut the door.

“Uhh-ha. What’s up? You wanna give yourself to me now? I just asked for a hug. I didn’t know you wanted to give it up.”

“Perry, I love you too much to see you act like this. What’s going on?”

“What you talking about? Dang! You pulled me up in here. I don’t need no girl giving me a hard time by telling me what to do. We don’t go together no more, and I guess I should be glad of that.”

“You making a fool of yourself tonight, okay.”

“Man, I’m the life of this joint.”

“No, people are staring at you because you are tripping over yourself. Drool is coming out of your mouth. It’s clear you can’t hold alcohol.”

“Girl, shut up. Leave me alone. Bye. Get out. I’m sorry I asked for some love. I got another girl, dang. She’s prettier than you.”

The moment I said that, I wanted to take my words back, but I knew that wasn’t possible because Tori had heard me. She looked devastated. I felt bad. I didn’t mean to hurt her, but the alcohol was speaking.

“You got somebody else?”

“Forget it. Forget it. I just need to be alone.”

“I mean, you just said it! You said you got somebody else! Talk to me! Tell me! Is it somebody at our school? Is it somebody I know? We haven’t been broke up but a couple of months, and you already got another girlfriend?”

“I ain’t said I had another girlfriend. Dang. Y’all females be tripping.”

“I’m not tripping. I should have expected it. I mean, everywhere I go, girls are telling me I’m stupid for letting you go and not giving it up. If they not telling me that, they telling me they plan to satisfy you. So hey, I’m not surprised. I might as well have a drink with you,” she said as she came over, trying to get what was left in my bottle.

“Go on now. You don’t need this. Seriously. Look, look!” I said as I shoved her to the side.

I didn’t mean to push her, but again, I didn’t have complete control of my faculties. What was supposed to be just a little push moved her halfway across the room towards the door.

“Okay. Fine. I get it. You don’t have to hurt me worse than you already have, okay.” She opened the door and dashed out.

After she left, I stood staring at the open door, upset and confused. I realized what I had done, and I wanted to go after her, but I began to feel a terrible burning sensation in my chest. What was going on?

I couldn’t understand why I was having such horrible physical pain. It was like I was having a heart attack or something. I couldn’t even make it to Damarius’s bed. I fell straight to the floor. I couldn’t breathe. I felt like I was going to die.

The only thing I could do was pray:
Lord, I’m sorry. You gotta help me, though. I was stupid to drink. Being pressured and all. Yeah, I gotta admit it felt good for a minute, but right now, I feel worse than as if three linebackers tackled me. Please Lord, please.

I couldn’t even pray anymore. I looked up at Damarius’s light, which was circling around and around in his room, thinking about all the hopes and dreams I had for myself. I wondered if this was going to be the end. Stupidity might have done me in. Maybe Tori was right about me thinking I was cool. I had not only hurt her feelings, but also I’d probably made a complete idiot out of myself. All of a sudden, I heard the door open. I didn’t know who it was, but I certainly didn’t want anyone to see me unable to keep my composure. But there was nothing I could do about that now.

“Perry, man, what’s up? What’s up?” Cole yelled as he rushed to my side.

“I don’t feel good, man.” I was so happy to see him.