Authors: Monica Alexander
“You don’t like Alyssa?” I questioned, knowing they’d only met once.
“I don’t know. She’s really hot, but I think you could do better.”
I laughed out loud as Charlie sent the ball toward the net and sunk the basket. “What do you know about it? And should you really be thinking a girl is hot or not? Aren’t you a little young for that?”
“No, I’m not too young. I’ve kissed girls before.”
“Oh yeah? So, do we need to talk about that?”
He shook his head. “Nah. My mom already had the sex talk with me. It was weird and kind of gross, and she used all these diagrams,” he said, shivering. “I don’t really think about girls like that, but I know when one’s pretty.”
A part of me was relieved that I wasn’t going to have to talk to him about sex, because I wasn’t even sure I was qualified or allowed to do that, but on the other hand, it unnerved me that he was even old enough to know about that stuff. I’d been thirteen when my uncle had sat me down to talk to me about sex. Of course by that point, I’d already learned all about it from Logan, who was two years older than me in school, and from his older brother Gunnar, who was seventeen at the time. I guess that meant I hadn’t been much older than Charlie, but it still unsettled me that we were having this conversation.
“Don’t have sex until you’re at least eighteen,” I told him.
“Eighteen?” he questioned, like my suggestion was crazy. “How old were you?”
“I’m not answering that. As far as you should be concerned, I’m still a virgin.”
He snorted. “Yeah right. Like I’d believe that. I’ve met your hot girlfriend.”
“Stop saying she’s hot. You’re too young to think that. And why did you say I could do better than her?”
“Because she doesn’t like kids.”
“Yes, she does.”
He shook his head. “No, she doesn’t. You need to be with someone who likes kids, because you like kids.”
“She likes kids,” I told him. “She wants to have kids one day. She’s told me.”
“That doesn’t mean anything.”
“Yes, it does,” I said around a laugh.
Too often I wondered where Charlie came up with the things he said – especially when they made very little sense.
Charlie shook his head. “Fine, then I don’t think she’s the person
you
should have kids with. So you shouldn’t marry her.”
As soon as he said that, I wondered if Alyssa had said something to him about wanting to marry me. They’d only spent an hour together at the end of the previous school year, but she could have made some abstract comment that stuck with him. Charlie had a stellar memory, so it wasn’t like he’d forget what she’d said.
Just the thought of that made my stomach tighten. I was so not ready for marriage.
“Who I marry is none of your business,” I told him. “Besides, I’m not even thinking about getting married for years. I have to finish school first.”
I figured that was as good of a reason as any, but I also hoped it would also shut the conversation down.
“I’m just saying, you should think about marrying someone who likes kids.”
Apparently Charlie wasn’t going to let this go.
“I think I’ll just focus on school if it’s all the same with you,” I told him, not sure why I felt compelled to justify myself to a kid who hadn’t even hit puberty.
Charlie shrugged. “Do whatever you want, but I think you need to ask yourself why you’re with Alyssa if she’s not ‘the one’.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked him in disbelief, feeling like I needed to divert the conversation as quickly as possible.
“Dr. Raven says that you shouldn’t be with someone you’re not serious about. It’s not healthy for you or them, and it will only end in disaster when you both realize you’re not right for each other. And then you’ll have wasted all that time with the wrong person. Life’s too short to do that.”
I shook my head in disbelief. “Dude, why are you watching Dr. Raven?”
He shrugged. “My mom watches it while we eat dinner. She records it every day. She says he’s smart when it comes to relationships.”
I sighed. “Charlie, you’re a kid. You’ve never even had a girlfriend, and I’m going to tell you to avoid that altogether until you’re much older. Stop watching shows about adult relationships. Trust me, none of that will apply to you for years.”
“My mom says he’s smart.”
“Yeah, well, he’s a doctor, so he probably knows a thing or two about life, but it doesn’t mean he has all the answers. Do me a favor. If you want to talk to me about questions you have, let’s do it. I’ll help you make sense of what to do at your age, not what you’ll do when you’re a forty year-old divorcee.”
He squinted up at me. “You think I’ll get divorced one day?”
Shit, I shouldn’t have said that.
“No, actually I don’t. But I think you also shouldn’t worry about that for at least fifteen years. Call me when you’ve met the woman you’re going to marry, and we’ll talk about whether she’s right for you or not.”
He grinned. “I’d rather talk about why Alyssa’s wrong for you.”
I shook my head. “I’ll pass. Now are we going to play one-on-one or not?”
“Totally, and I’m totally going to kick your butt like I do every time.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right,” I said, partly humoring him, and partly because it was true.
He laughed. “You don’t even try to smack talk anymore. It’s sad, Jack. You used to be so much more confident.”
Smart ass.
“Oh yeah? Well, why don’t you throw me a spiral, and then see if you can outrun me on the football field. I’d smoke you,” I taunted him.
“Any time, any place,” he challenged back.
“Maybe next time,” I told him, because I liked to keep his ego high.
He had too much shit in his life that could falter his confidence. I didn’t want to do anything to make him feel less worthy. I’d worked too hard to build him up from the despondent kid I’d met the year before who was still dealing with an absentee father who rarely called.
“Next time,” he echoed.
As we played one-on-one, what he’d said to me ran through my mind on a loop. Not that I was planning on taking his advice, but a part of me knew in the back of my mind that Alyssa wasn’t the woman I was going to marry. And it wasn’t for the reasons Charlie had said. It was just a feeling that told me she wasn’t the right one. But I was sure she was the one right
now
, so I guess that’s what mattered.
Who knew what the future would hold and what would happen after I graduated and went to med school. We could end up on completely different sides of the country, and if that happened, I had a feeling things would sort of take care of themselves. But I wasn’t going to dwell on that. I’d cross that bridge when I had to. For now, it wasn’t even worth worrying about.
Kate
“You’re bartending now?” I heard as I sliced limes behind the bar at Ray’s on Thursday night.
The voice sounded familiar, which was odd in a town where I knew very few people. I looked up, not sure who I would see, and smiled when I saw Jack smiling back at me.
“Twice in one week? To what do I owe this honor?” I teased him. “Or is it an honor? Pete’s not with you, is he?”
Jack laughed. “Nah, he has a date tonight.”
I felt my eyes get wide. “Some girl actually agreed to go out with him?”
“Hey now. He’s not all bad. And he’s better than the pledge your sister’s dating.”
I frowned, not sure that was something I wanted to hear. I’d been skeptical about Sara jumping into dating someone so fast, and since I had yet to meet the guy she’d started seeing, I wasn’t sure what to think of him. I’d been trying to give her space, but it wasn’t easy after so many years of looking after her.
“Is he really a jerk?” I questioned, holding my breath as I waited for Jack to respond.
He hesitated before saying, “No, not really. He’s just a pledge, and he’s all eager to please. He’s probably a nice guy. I’m just supposed to think he’s a tool on principle until he becomes a brother. I actually don’t know him all that well.”
I breathed a small sigh of relief as he said that, because as much as it gave me some peace of mind, it still didn’t prove that the guy wasn’t a jerk. He could be a complete asshole. But even if he was, there wasn’t much I could do about it. I’d promised to let Sara live her life when we came to UT together, and I needed to keep my word.
“Weren’t you a pledge just last year?” I asked Jack, keeping things light and friendly – and maybe just a little teasing. “Were you not just as eager?”
Jack smiled that killer smile of his, and I tried not to let it get to me. The reality of the situation was that he was just plain good looking, and I couldn’t help but be attracted to him. The desire to lean toward him and flirt a little felt way too natural when he looked at me like that. But I knew he had a girlfriend, so flirting was off the table. Even if it was harmless, it would still be crossing a line.
“I actually wasn’t all that eager,” he explained. “Gunnar, my older cousin was the president of Sigma Delt a few years ago, and Logan was a brother when I pledged. I had it easy. I barely got hazed, and everyone accepted me really quickly. I’d hung out at the house a lot before I got to UT, and I knew a lot of the brothers already.” He shrugged. “They pretty much treated me like they always had.”
“Hazing?” I questioned, picking up on that one thing he’d said. “Do you guys really do that?”
Jack smirked. “Never. At least as far as the powers that preside over us are concerned. And no brother in Sigma Delt would ever tell if we did.”
“That’s mean, Jack,” I told him, not able to help myself in calling him out on it.
On principle I’d always hated bullying, and hazing felt too much like bullying. I knew the intent was different, but I still didn’t get why it had to be done.
“It’s all part of the deal,” Jack explained. “The pledges know what they’re getting into, and it’s not even that bad for them. They just have to do stuff for the brothers like get us drinks at parties, clean the house on Saturdays, and they have to serve dinner on weeknights. Sometimes they go as far as to take notes for a brother if he can’t make it to a class. And I had one bring me a pizza last night. He seemed happy to do it, so I invited him in to hang out with Micah, Cullen, and me while we ate. It’s usually not that big of a deal.”
I eyed him skeptically, keying in on the word ‘usually’.
“I promise,” he said, throwing his hands up. “If it was bad, I wouldn’t condone it. I told you I’m a good guy.”
“And I said I’d take your word for it,” I told him as I noticed that one of our regulars, Jerry, was almost finished with his beer. I knew he’d want another one, and he’d get impatient if I didn’t have it ready for him as soon as he was finished. I started to pour it for him as I looked up at Jack who was sitting to the left of the taps. “What can I get you to drink?”
“I thought that beer was for me,” he said coyly.
“Not unless you’ve had a birthday since last Sunday.”
“Nah, my birthday’s not until March,” he said, and then he watched me for a few seconds, almost as if he was trying to gauge my reaction.
Was I supposed to say something in response to that? Maybe he thought I was going to tell him he couldn’t sit at the bar, which technically he couldn’t, but I wasn’t about to kick him out. I’d never embarrass him like that, but more than that, a part of me was glad he’d come in.
“Well, then come see me in March,” I told him, “and I’ll be happy to serve you as many beers as you’d like.”
“Deal,” he said, but there was something else in his expression that made me wonder if his breezy tone was just an act.
I decided to ignore it. I wasn’t going to cave no matter what tactics he tried.
“So, will it be tea, coffee, soda, or juice?” I asked him.
“I’ll have a sweet tea,” Jack told me as I walked a few feet down the bar to give Jerry his Bud Light. “I’m kind of addicted to it.”
I made a face as I filled a glass with ice and started to pour Jack’s sweet tea.
“I’m not a fan,” I told him. “I’d much prefer unsweet any day.”
“That’s because you’re a Midwesterner,” he said, and I looked up in surprise as I placed his tea in front of him.
“How did you know that?”
I realized after I said it that Cullen had probably told him, but then I saw that Jack looked panicked, like he’d said something wrong, and I wasn’t sure why that was. It wasn’t like I cared if his roommates talked about me. Where I was from wasn’t exactly a secret.
“I actually didn’t know,” Jack said quickly. “I mean, I just assumed, because you have a Midwestern accent. I figured you were from somewhere up there.”
“I have an accent?” I asked around a laugh, since I’d never thought I had an accent before.
“On some words,” Jack said with a smile. “Where are you from? Chicago?”
I shook my head. “Indiana.”
Jack took a long drink of his tea as he nodded. “That’s cool.”
“It’s actually not all that great. I’m from a small town in the middle of nowhere, and the winter’s suck.”
He took a deep breath. “I can imagine. So what brought you here?”
“My sister. She wanted to go to UT, and I sort of took care of her while she was growing up, so it was hard to not follow her. Plus UT has a great business school.”
“It does,” he agreed. “I’m actually minoring in business.”
“I think I already knew that,” I said casually, even though Cullen had told me what Jack’s minor was.
“Cullen needs to learn to keep his mouth shut,” Jack scoffed playfully.
I smiled at him. “So, do you want to see a menu?”
Jack shook his head. “No, I don’t need to. I’ll take a pulled pork sandwich, fries and coleslaw. Please.”
I smiled. “You Texans are all so polite. I’m still getting used to that.”
“I think it might be my favorite thing about Texas,” he said as I rang his order in. “Great hospitality. I know I felt it when I first moved here.”
“Oh, so you didn’t grow up here?” I questioned, glad that the bar was relatively empty so I could stand there and carry on a conversation with him. “Where are you from?”
I’d been bored before Jack came in, so it was nice to have someone to talk to. Jerry wasn’t a talker, I could easily handle the drinks coming in for the service bar, and there was only so much busy work I could do when I didn’t have any other customers to wait on at the bar. Thursday was apparently a slow night at Ray’s.
And quite honestly, I was enjoying getting to know Jack. Who knew we’d end up hitting it off, but it seemed the more we talked, the more we found out we had in common. He was actually a pretty cool guy. Or maybe I just liked the fact that he was the first guy I’d met at UT who didn’t want to get in my pants – at least I didn’t think he did. Either way, I appreciated that it didn’t seem like he had a hidden agenda when he talked to me.
Jack looked hesitant to answer my question about where he was from before he said, “I’m uh, I’m from all over, actually.”
“All over? Was your dad in the military or something?”
He nodded. “Yeah, he was.”
“That’s not terrible. At least you got to see a lot of places.”
“I guess,” he said vaguely, and I wondered if I’d hit a nerve.
“Where was your favorite place that you’ve lived?”
“Here,” he said automatically, like it was a question he didn’t even have to think about.
“You mean Austin?” I asked as I grabbed a slip that came in at the service bar for two beers.
I started to pour them while I watched Jack shake his head.
“No, I was talking about where I’m from,” he told me. “It’s a small town outside of Houston called Grantly. Most people would probably think it’s too small, but I kind of love that about it. Logan and Gunnar always bitched about it when we we’re growing up, talking about how they couldn’t wait to leave, but I always figured I’d go to college and then med school, and then I’d move back there. It’s a great place to raise a family, and it’s close enough to Houston that I can live in there and commute into the city where I want to do my residency and where I’ll eventually have my medical practice.”
Geez, he had his whole life planned out, and I had no idea what I even wanted to do after I graduated. I wondered what it was like to know for sure what you wanted to do in life.
“So, you want to open up a practice in Houston and not in your hometown?” I asked him as I set the beers in the service window.
“I can help more people in a big city,” Jack explained. “I want to open a sliding scale clinic that anyone can afford. I hate that some people don’t have access to healthcare – especially kids. I want to help with that. Too many kids suffer through being sick because their parents can’t afford doctor’s visits or medicine. It’s not right.”
Well if that didn’t tug right on my heartstrings and make me want to tear up. He wanted to help poor kids – kids like my sister and I had been. I wanted to tell him I’d been that kid who’d suffered through bronchitis for three weeks until it got so bad that my mother had to take me to the emergency room when it had started to turn into pneumonia. And Sara had fought with allergies for too many years before she got the right medication, because we just couldn’t afford it. Healthcare was a luxury, and Jack was right, that shouldn’t be the case for any kid.
“Yeah, that makes sense,” I told him, being purposefully vague. If I wasn’t careful I’d start gushing all over him and sharing things about my past that I really didn’t want him to know. “And you’d rather live in Grantly than in Houston?”
He nodded. “My family’s there, and I love how it feels like a real community. It has everything I want. So how about you? What are you going to do after graduation?”
“I have no clue,” I told him honestly. “I’m majoring in Marketing, so I have a lot of options with that. I guess it all depends on where I get an internship.”
He brightened as I said that. “My aunt actually owns a marketing firm in Houston. She’s always looking for interns. I could reach out to her for you if you want me to.”
“You would do that?” I questioned, beyond touched that he would do something like that for someone he hardly knew.
“Of course. I’m sure she’d love to have you work there next summer.”
“That would be amazing, Jack. Thank you. But you don’t even know if I’m any good at what she’d want me to do. I’m not even taking any of my core classes yet.”
He smiled. “My Aunt Deena’s great. She won’t care that you don’t have any experience. She loves to help people.”
“Is that where you get your love of helping people?”
“Maybe. She raised me for most of my life, so I guess some of her mindset rubbed off. Although I’m not sure it worked on Gunnar and Logan. They’re not very altruistic,” he joked as one of the servers came up behind me with Jack’s dinner.
I took it from her and placed it in front of him, along with the condiments he might need. “Can I get you anything else?” I asked him as I glanced over at Jerry. He looked like he was ready to pay his tab.
“I think I’m all set,” Jack said as he dumped barbecue sauce all over his sandwich and fries.
“Alright, well, let me know if you need anything,” I told him as I turned to grab Jerry’s check.
“I wouldn’t mind some company while I eat,” Jack called after me.
“Yeah?” I questioned as I processed Jerry’s credit card. “I don’t want to bother you.”
Jack shook his head. “It’s no bother. Besides, I’ve been doing all the talking. It’s your turn to tell me about you. You said you raised your sister?”
“Oh, I, yeah,” I stuttered, not really wanting to tell him about my life when his seemed so picture perfect. “I just helped out my mom. She worked a lot until she got married to my stepdad two years ago.”