Promise Me (20 page)

“Yes.  When I lived in Salt Lake City it never got this dark.”

Gray’s hands went
around my waist.  “Never got this dark in prison either.”  He nudged me.  “You know them?”

“Who?”

“Perseus, Andromeda, Ursa Major.”

“Oh, the stars.”

“Constellations,” he corrected me and proceeded to patiently point out what he knew. 

I turned toward him, kissing
his jaw.  “I love it when you get all academic.” 

He reached under my shirt.  “What else do you love?”

I was beginning to get breathless.  “I love it when you undress me.”  He held my arms up and removed my shirt.  “And when you tease my breasts with your tongue.”  I put my hand around his neck as he bent to my chest.  “Yeah, like that. Gray, I love it when you’re not shy about showing me how hard you are.  I love your shudder when I take you in my hand and feel you.” I got to my knees as he watched me. “I love it when I kneel in front of you and have to stop talking because your dick is in my mouth.”  

As the rigid muscle moved between my lips the sound of his groan echoed through the woods.  He tried once to push me back but I stubbornly kept him in my mouth, wanting to finish him this way. 

“And I love it when I make you come,” I finally said after he’d unleashed himself. 

“Well you’r
e damn good at it,” he said and I could hear his smile.  He reached for me.  “Now let me do something for you.” 

I was agreeable.  “
I would love that too.” 

Later, as we lay naked together on the musty mattress inside the cabin, I propped my chin up in his chest. 

“This is my favorite part, I think,” I said sleepily, tracing constellations on his chest.  It wasn’t just the sex; it was the quiet enjoyment of each other’s company, the comfort of being in the arms of someone who loved you. 

He hauled me up closer.  “I don’t know, there are other parts equally as fun.”  He played with my hair, his voice dropping. “But yeah, I get what you mean.”  He took my hand and kissed it.  “You want a ring?”

“A ring?” I frowned. 

“
Yeah, you know, a ring.  Girls like shiny permanent shit.”

“No,” I said softly, content to listen to his heart.  “I just want you
, Grayson.”

“Well
, angel, you already have me.  Always did.”   

I fel
l asleep in happy peace, knowing his words were completely true. 

Grayson was as reluctant to leave the next morning as I was.  We lingered in the cool green woods until it was nearly afternoon.  Then we climbed on his bike and rode back to Quartzsite.

“What’s wrong?” I asked when Gray stopped the bike several hundred yards away from the Riverbottom. 

He pointed.  “You know that guy? The one who’s talking to Rachel?”

I squinted and noticed the tall blonde stranger
.  His back was to us but his familiar stance and the way my cousin smiled up at him triggered something. 

“Daniel,” I breathed. 

Grayson turned around and looked at me.  

“My brother,” I explained.  “Half brother actually.  I haven’t seen him in about eight years.  He was kicked out for fighting with
my uncle.  And for being a male.” 

Rachel had spotted us.  She waved, beaming.  Gray coasted over to where they waited.  

“Promise,” my brother choked, wrapping me in an emotional hug. 

I was not able to contain the well of
sentiment.  “I looked for you,” I sobbed.  “I searched for you online but I never found you.” 

“Changed my name,” he said wryly.  “I’m Daniel Smith now.” 

“Smith?” I smiled, wiping my tears.

“Anonymity,” he answered.  His face grew long and sad.  “I saw your video, Promise. Oh, your face
was blurred but of course I recognized my sister.  I managed to get in touch with the woman who had posted it.” 

“Yes, Alice,
” I said.  “You saw it? How many other people saw it?”

Rachel took my arm.  “It’s everywhere, hon. Made national news.”

I was amazed. “My god,” I said softly. 

Daniel turned and drew a small dark-haired woman to his side.  I hadn’t noticed her before.  In her arms was a beautiful baby girl.  “Promise, I’d like you to meet my wife.  Lupe.  And our daughter
, Bella.  Lupe, this is my little sister.” Daniel’s voice had grown rough with emotion and Lupe touched his arm gently before turning to me.

“I am so happy to meet you,” she said
in a slightly accented voice as she wrapped an arm around me and kissed my cheek.  Before she pulled away I reached out and touched the head of my small niece.  The baby was perfect.  She would have a happy life.  She would never be given away.  She would be raised with loving parents who always told her what she was worth. 

Gray
had remained a few feet behind, watching quietly, but I pulled him to my side with stern insistence.

“Daniel,” I said, “this is Grayson.  My love.” 

In light of the things I had told him about the ugly prejudices of the Faithful, Gray seemed rather wary of my brother.  But Daniel grinned at him warmly, shaking his hand with enthusiasm.  Lupe seemed to guess what was going through Gray’s mind and she took Daniel’s arm possessively, her dark eyes staring at Gray as if to say,
“You see?
No poison from the Faithful lingers here.” 
Gray relaxed and put his arm around my shoulders. 

My brother and his family were living just outside San Diego.  I was overjoyed to hear that my brother Gideon was living in Portland and that he would be eager to see me. 
Of my third excommunicated brother, Thomas, there was no trace.  He seemed to have disappeared moments after being left on the side of a Phoenix freeway. 

Daniel and Lupe stayed for several wonderful hours.  I held my tiny niece and breathed in the joyous scent of her existence.
  Gray appeared bemused at the sight of me with a baby in my arms. 

Finally Daniel said they would have to be getting on the road.  They had driven out
from the coast impulsively as soon as he had spoken to Alice and found out where I was. 

“We’ll see you soon,” Lupe said earnestly as we exchanged one more hug. 

Daniel buckled the baby into the minivan and turned to me with a sigh.  “I’m sorry,” he said.  His green eyes were the same color as mine.  And they were full of grief.  Daniel had always been sensitive.  He always carried around an acute sense of right and wrong which would never have reconciled with what the church taught.  “I wish I’d been able to stop them.  I wish I was able to stop them now.” 

“I know,” I said softly.  I remembered what Rachel had told me as I screamed my rage one
dark night.  “There’s a lot of long years ahead of us, Daniel.  We can’t spend them torturing ourselves about what we might have done differently.”

Daniel seemed to be looking directly into the sun.  “Love you, sis.”
He planted a kiss on my head before getting into the van and driving away. 

Rachel wav
ed to them all and then regarded me softly.  “Do you want to see it, hon?”  She meant the video Alice had posted on the internet.  The one which had made national news. 

“No,” I shook my head.  And I didn’t. 
I remembered living it.  I remembered saying it.  I always would. 

She watched me.  “You’ll be okay?”

I wrapped my arm around Gray’s and held fast to his warm solidity.  “Yeah, Rach.  This was a good day.  I’ll be just fine.” 

Grayson and I walked slowly back to the trailer with our arms around each other. 

For the rest of the day we made love gently, talked quietly.  Gray listened as I summarized
The Quartzsite Trip.
He was interested in the story of the tadpole shrimp. 

“Gray?” I asked. 

He’d been starting to doze off.  “I hear you, babe.” 

“You ever think about trying to contact your sister again?”

He rolled away and I stroked his shoulder gently as he sighed.  “I told you she won’t talk to me.”  He sat up so abruptly I almost rolled off the bed.  “She doesn’t see me,” he said angrily.  “She sees a street hood who has fucked up the family name.” 

I was sorry I’d brought it up.  I’d just felt such a peaceful happiness as a result of finding my brother again.  I wanted that for Gray too. 

He was tight with anger and wouldn’t yield.  I ran my hands down his strong back anyway. 

“I see you,” I reminded him with a kiss. 

That made him smile just a little.  “You always did,” he said, gently cupping me under the chin.  “Right from that first shitty day.”  He paused, as if he were cautiously weighing out his words.  “I wish it hadn’t been like that though.  The way we met.  And at the same time…” Gray’s voice trailed off and he seemed far away.  “Do you know how much I admire you, Promise?”

“
That was a shitty day,” I agreed.  “And yet I started to fall for you right there in the middle of my most bleak hour.  You defied my abuser and gave me the strength to hope.” I leaned my cheek against his shoulder.  “And in spite of everything, I wouldn’t trade all of that.” 

He laid me down.  “God, I love you, angel.” 

I took him between my legs.  “Show me, Grayson.  Tell me, but always show me too.” 

Gray slipped inside of me.  “Like that?” he asked gruffly. 

I closed my eyes, letting my hips take the rhythm.  “Like that.  Again and again like that.” 

The next few days rolled slowly by.  I tried to stay away from media sources as much as possible.  Alice called several times to gently inquire after me.  She said the paper was getting close to running the full scale expose on the Faithful Cooperative.  Moreover, there had been a strong outcry across the state and even throughout the nation to address the abuses I’d described in the video. 

Alice heard what I wasn’t asking. 

“I’m trying, Promise,” she told me earnestly.  “There are a lot of people interested in helping your sister and all the others enduring a captive life in Jericho Valley.”

“Thank you,”
I told her sincerely and hung up the phone, closing my eyes and trying to will a miracle.

I had made Grayson swear he wouldn’t go riding up to Jericho Valley on some sort of vengeance mission.  But I knew he still stewed over the fact that Winston Allred lived and breathed. 

“Don’t,” I pleaded.  “Please.” 

“All right,”
he coughed.  “For now.  But, baby, I can’t promise I’ll sit down forever.”

As for me
, I vowed to stop letting fear keep me from what I wanted.  Now that the Faithful leaders were aware of where I was there seemed little reason to not take Callie Lopez up on her offer to begin practicing midwifery.  There was a clinic in Parker which was in dire need of medical staff to assist with the growing burden of women who required prenatal care.  I used the Riverbottom Bar as my address when I wrote to the North American Registry of Midwives. 

It was early evening a week after I’d been reunited with my brother.  The bar was fairly empty
and Gray had just returned from a job in a small town named Salome.  I loved holding him when the heat of the open road still radiated from his skin.  I’d helped Kira fry up a large batch of chicken earlier and as Gray started to dig into his plate I told him about how excited I was to begin working at the clinic.   He swallowed a big bite of chicken and smiled at me, shaking his head.

“What?” I asked innocently. 

He shrugged.  “Nothing.  Just that you amaze me more all the time.” 

I put a hand on his knee, lowering my voice.  “Remember when you wondered if I’d be a big goddamn surprise every day?”

“I do,” he answered, shifting so that my hand was able to easily slide up. 

The noise of his ringtone was jarring. 

“Hold that thought,” he said, searching his pockets.  He peered at the phone’s screen for a second and handed it directly over to me.  “Alice,” he explained. 

“Hello?”  I smiled, expecting to hear my friend’s brisk voice on other end. 

“Promise.” 

Instead it
was the voice I’d been craving to hear for the past six weeks. 

“Jenny,” I whispered. 

I felt Grayson tense beside me.  He reached for my hand. 

“Promise,” my sister sobbed.  “I’ve missed you so much.”

“Where are you?” I shouted. “Are you all right?”  Rachel heard the commotion and ran over. 

But Jenny was overwhelmed with emotion and couldn’t talk.  I heard the phone being passed and then Alice’s clear voice.

“She’s fine, Promise.  She’s here with me.  We’re on our way to Phoenix.  Can you meet us there?”

“Yes,” I said, openly crying.  She tried to give me instructions but my mind was darting around so riotously I had to hand to phone to Gray. 

He hung after saying, “We’re leaving right now.” 

Rachel grabbed me.  “Was it really her?  How?”

“Yes.”  I was still sobbing. “And I don’t know.” 

Grayson moved decisively and we were out of there and on the road inside of five minutes.  He didn’t pause to talk about it.  There was no need.  We were on our way to see my sister. 

A fleeting pulse of anxiety gripped me as we drew closer to the Phoenix skyline.  The sky was nearly dark and the downtown buildings were sporadically illuminated.  The last time I had seen this city I was in terrible pain and awful company.  But that was then.  I shook my
disquiet away and clutched at Gray more tightly.

Gray seemed to know his way around the streets well enough.
  We passed a giant ballpark; an eruption of noise on the inside indicated something exciting had just happened.  Gray drove right into a parking garage a few blocks from the ballpark. 

“Alice’s place is right next door,” he told me, climbing off his bike and taking my hand. 

“Kiss me,” I pleaded. 

He looked at me questioningly but leaned in nonetheless, pressing his lips against mine with a gentle sweetness which deepened as I pulled him closer. 

“I love you,” he reminded me. 

“I love you too,”
I whispered.

“
Now let’s go see this girl I’ve been hearing so much about.” 

My heart was pounding as we made our way up the elevator.  The building had an o
lder, classy look about it.  At the same time it was also obvious a number of modern renovations had been implemented.  I held onto Gray as he knocked on one of the apartment doors and he put his strong arm around my shoulders, giving me a little squeeze of reassurance. 

The click of the door unlocking was almost immediate and Alice Carter’s beaming face was on the other side. 

“Come on,” she pulled at us, laughing. 

My eyes found her immediately.  She sat in a rather formal pose on a striped overstuffed chair.  Her hands played nervously with her long red braid. 

I didn’t have any words at that moment.  None were required anyway.  My sister gasped and rose to her feet and we collided in a crush of happiness, of sorrow, of longing.  I realized that until that moment I hadn’t allowed myself to believe I would ever see her again.

Jenny backed away a few inches, laughing as she looked me over. 

“You look common,” she said, her eyes twinkling.  It Jericho Valley it would have been a curse.  But here, and between us, it was an absolute compliment. 

When I introduce her to Grayson she held back shyly.  He shook her hand
and told her quietly how happy he was to meet her. 

Jenny looked from me to Gray, smiling broadly, and I knew she was pleased.  Alice had allowed us our tender moments in peace.  I turned to her with a
critical question.

“
How?”

Alice cleared her throat before clarifying.  The
Arizona Times
was within days of running Alice’s piece on the Faithful Cooperative.  She had driven to Jericho Valley with a news crew, believing she might get a few quotes from the town’s residents.  In that pursuit she was quite unlucky but as the crew was preparing to leave Alice spotted a lone girl walking slowly down a country road. 

“I knew right away who she was,” Alice said with a grin. “She looks just like you.” 

Jenny had been startled to be accosted by a blowsy city blonde who claimed to know her sister.  It was actually a rare coincidence that she happened to be walking alone at that very moment.  Since she’d arrived back in Jericho Valley the women, under the orders of Bishop Talbot, had kept a close eye on her.  And my name was now forbidden. 

Alice had looked into my sister’s eyes and urged her to believe the words she said.  About me.  About the Faithful.  About the chance she was offering.  All Jenny needed to do was say yes. 

My sister, young though she was, knew the truth when she heard it.  She didn’t hesitate to follow Alice into the van.  Jenny would need to tell her story to the authorities.  After that, Alice seemed certain, there was no chance she would be returned to Jericho Valley. 

“I also called Daniel,”
she told us.  “He’ll be here in the morning.” 

I could s
carcely believe it.  All that I’d hoped for.  What I’d prayed for even when I had little reason to believe prayer was worth much anymore. 

Alice said we were welcome to stay at her place.  There was an extra bedroom down the hall and the couch was comfortable too.  I readily agreed but Gray said he would prefer staying in a motel nearby. 

“Why?” I frowned at him at we talked quietly off to the side.  “I want you to be with me.” 

“And I’ll be with you forever,” he said, kissing me on the forehead.  “But tonight your sister needs you.  And you need her.” 

“Don’t go far,” I whispered, hugging him fiercely. 

“Hey,” he tipped my chin up.  “You really think you could get rid of me at this point?”

Before he left, Gray paused to whisper something to Alice.  She smiled and lifted her blouse slightly, winking while showing him her holstered pistol. 

I had left Quartzsite abruptly and without packing a thing.  Alice gave us everything we would need and then with
drew to her bedroom to give us some privacy together. 

“How is Mother?” I asked with caution as we settled on Alice’s living room floor amid a pile of comfortable blankets.

Jenny frowned.  “Sad,” she said in a soft voice.  She looked at me with a pained expression.  “She saw me, Promise.  She saw me getting into the truck with Alice.  She could have raised the alarm.” 

“But she didn’t,” I finished, thinking regretfully of the tend
er, confused woman who’d given birth to me.  “She knew you had to go.” 

Jenny snuggled against my side as she had done since she was a small child trying to blot out imaginary terrors of the night.  I held her and smoothed her hair as I had always done. 

“He didn’t touch me,” she said almost in a whisper.  She heard my sob of relief and raised her head.  “He was too sick.  Most of the wives weren’t nice but there was one, Carrie, who kept me close and took care of me.  Until he died and Bishop Talbot came to take me back to Jericho Valley.” 

“Bishop,” I spat.  “He’s no such fucking thing.” 

Jenny’s eyes widened in shock.  Then she laughed, the wild, pealing laughter of a young girl. 

I poked her in the side.  “Say it. It feels good.” 

My sister blushed.  “Fuck.”

“Louder.”

“Fuck!” She screamed and then collapsed with more laughter. 

When Alice burst out of her bedroom with her gun we both laughed harder. 

“What the hell?” She grumbled but she was smiling.   She shook her head at us and returned to her bedroom.  “Good night, ladies.” 

When Jenny finally stopped laughing she pushe
d her long red hair out of her face and seemed almost bashful.  “So,” she started to say, “Grayson…”

“Ah,” I flopped back into the blankets. “Grayson.”  I shivered over the t
hrill his name always gave me.  I told my sister all about it, all about him. I wanted her to understand him, to recognize that the rough leather-clad man who’d shaken her hand was actually one of the best men who lived. 

She listened with clear fascination.  “You love him,” she said with wonder. 

“So much,” I told her, “that sometimes it hurts.” 

Jenny gave me a sly look.  “And I saw the way he looked at you,” she said.  “He sure loves you too.” 

I chewed on my lip, pondering how much else I ought to say.  Jenny was still a child, but she’d been taught a lot of harmful things.  It had taken Grayson to get me to understand the physical side of love, how it fed from and expanded the love of the heart.  I wanted Jenny to know that it wasn’t ugly.  Or shameful.  I pruned out the steamiest parts, of course, but I told my sister how it could be.  With the right man. 

“Wow,” she said when I finished.  “So are you going to marry him?”

I shrugged. Marriage was an afterthought to me now.  “It doesn’t matter.  I’m going to be with him.  Always.”

“Promise? What’s going to happen to me now?”

My arm went around her.  “Well you’re sure as hell not going back there.  Alice thinks she can call in some favors and get you before a judge tomorrow.  Since you’re still a minor you’ll have to be assigned a guardian.” 

Jenny’s head rested against my shoulder.  She had a woman’s weary voice now.  “I’m so tired, Promise.” 

She wasn’t talking about the long day.  She was talking about everything else. 

“I know, Jenny.  But the day is over.  You should sleep.” 

She smiled slightly.  “I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”  Then her smile fell.  “They hate you, you know.” 

“Yes,” I answered.  “It’s the only thing they know how to do well.” 

“I love you, Promise,”

“I love you too, little sister.” 

Gradually Jenny dozed off and I set her down gently.  
I looked around and was glad to see Alice had a land line telephone. 

After giving my sleeping sister an affectionate pat I
took the cordless phone into the bathroom. 

He answered
his cell phone on the first ring. 

“Miss me?” I asked.

He chuckled deeply.  “Miss you.  Love you. 
Want
you.”  He paused.  “So how’s it going?  By the way, I called Rachel with an update.”