Promise Me Always (31 page)

I felt sick as bile started to rise in my throat. I needed to distract myself before I lost it completely. I made my way over to the wall of windows on the other side of the waiting room. The sun was starting to come up over the horizon and I watched as it slowly crept higher and higher, turning the midnight sky into vibrant shades of purple, pink and orange. All the while all I could think of was Tess.

She’s going to be alright, she has to be.

My eyes were full of unshed tears as I stared out at the colorful sky. It had only been minutes, but felt like hours, when a doctor finally appeared.

“Tessa Collins’ family, I presume? I’m Dr. Zell. I have some information on your daughter,” he said professionally and Craig approached him. I studied his impassive face, hoping to get just the slightest clue of how she was doing, but he was a blank slate—void of all emotion.

He looked down at his clip board before he continued. “Her CT results are back and we didn’t find any excessive swelling. She woke up a few minutes ago and she is quite confused. She has a headache and she’s a little dizzy, but those are normal symptoms from TBI. Her ribs are bruised and she has some swelling on her face, but all of that will heal in time. It looks like she will make a full recovery, but we are going to observe her for the next twenty four hours just to be safe. She will more than likely be able to go home tomorrow morning.”

Relief swept through me as Craig shook the doctor’s hand eagerly, and I finally released the breath I must had been holding in.
She was going to be okay.

“You are more than welcome to go back and see her now, but only a few people at a time, please.” Dr. Zell motioned for Tess’ parents to follow him. Palmer and Cole were close behind.

I watched as Lexi picked up her phone and started spreading the news, via text, that Tess was going to be alright. I noticed Devin and Avery in the corner of the waiting room, deep in conversation. Devin looked noticeably tense and I wondered what they were talking about. Deciding that I would wait until we were alone to ask him, I turned back to the window, shutting out the sounds of Lexi, Avery and Devin as I got lost in my own thoughts.

I was surrounded by all of these people—my closest friends, yet I felt so alone. The only thing that mattered in my life was shut away in a room somewhere in this building, and I had to wait my turn to see her—to touch her with my hands and see for myself that she was okay. I just hoped to God that happened soon.

The doctor said she would be fine, but it was almost too surreal. I needed to see her with my own eyes to believe it. I didn’t even know if she would want to see me and I couldn’t help but wonder what the hell I would say to her once I did. I just hoped she wasn’t mad at me for letting her down.

I sat there, staring out at the now brightly sunlit city, silently cursing myself for allowing this to happen. I never should have let my guard down while Jared was still breathing. I was so intent on getting Tess out of her apartment that it never even occurred to me that Jared might still be able to move after I repeatedly bashed his face in with my fists. I never had any intention of stopping either and I would have killed the son of a bitch if it weren’t for Tess.

I wanted to kill myself for not being there with her or having her by my side.
How could I have been so stupid?

After what seemed like forever, I was hauled from my thoughts as Palmer came up beside me. She sat there silent for a few moments and then rested her head on my shoulder as she spoke. “Thank you, Blake.”

“For what?” I replied, seemingly shocked as I turned my head quickly and stared at her.

“Are you kidding me right now?” she asked, her hand making its way to her hip. She looked at me like I was insane for asking that question, but I really had no idea why she was thanking me.

“No, Palmer, I’m not.” I bowed my head in shame, looking down at ground. “She wouldn’t even be in this situation if it weren’t for me. I should’ve been protecting her. I never should have left her. If I would have just…”

“Blake…”

“No! It’s my fault! Every decision I make hurts her one way or another!” I closed my eyes tightly as I tried to keep my composure. “I can’t fucking win!”

“For fuck sakes, it is not your fault!” she said as she grabbed me by the shoulders, spinning me around so I was face to face with her. “You saved her, Blake! If it weren’t for you, he would‘ve killed her! When are you going to stop blaming yourself for every little thing that happens?” I looked down at the tile floor, wishing it would just open up and pull me under. “Why can’t you see the amazing person that the rest of us see?” I looked up at her slowly, tears clouding my vision. I was speechless.

“I mean it, Blake. You need to get over all of this doubt and shit because my fucking sister needs you right now.” A smile slowly crossed her face. “And, believe it or not,” she said, looking me straight in the eyes, “she
does
deserve you.”

I closed my eyes, taking a deep, shaking breath as I forced back the fucking tears that were threatening to unleash. Palmer was right. I needed to get over this shit once and for all. I knew it wasn’t going to happen overnight, but I couldn’t keep putting myself through all of this pain. I had been pushing Tess away since the day I met her, too scared to let her in. I was so damn afraid that she would break the last piece of my heart—but it had to stop.

I loved her more than anything and, even though I still believed she deserved more, I couldn’t stay away any longer. It’s unbelievable that it takes almost losing someone to make you realize just how important they really are.

Opening my eyes again, I looked at Palmer, a small smile spreading across my face. I reached out and pulled her in for a hug. I needed to see Tess more than ever now. We had so much to talk about and it needed to start tonight. Palmer returned the hug, patting me on the back, making it clear she understood that I took her words to heart.

With a new found determination, I turned around and stopped dead in my tracks when I saw Craig standing on the other end of the waiting room.

“She’s right, you know?” he said carefully, making his way towards me. He apparently overheard what Palmer had said to me. “You’re an amazing man, Blake. I’ll never be able to repay you for what you did for my little girl tonight.” He reached his hand out to me. “You may not believe she deserves you, but I sure as hell do.” His voice broke a little, causing me to choke up. “She’s asking for you—room 423.” I took Craig’s hand to shake it, but he pulled me forward, wrapping his arm around my back. “Thank you,” he said, releasing me from his embrace. “Now get in there and take care of my daughter,” he winked at me. I headed off to find
his daughter
and
my whole world
.

As elated as I was to see Tess, I was also as nervous as fuck. My nerves were shot as I walked down the hall to her room.

I had no idea how she was going to react to seeing me. Yeah, she was asking for me, but maybe she just wanted to tell me to leave her alone. Maybe she didn’t want me anymore; maybe she was pissed for all the pain I caused her.

Suddenly I felt sick—every instinct I had told me to turn around and fucking run so I wouldn’t get hurt again. But I couldn’t. I needed to hear her angelic laugh, feel the warmth of her touch, and stare into her strikingly, bright brown eyes. I needed all of that whether she wanted me or not. I had to see for myself that she was really okay. If she broke my heart—so be it. She would always hold it one way or another—either whole or in pieces, it would always belong to her.

I stopped suddenly when I saw Elaine leaving Tess’ room. She locked eyes with me as she wiped away the tears that had fallen down her face. Never breaking her stare, she walked straight to me and embraced me, enveloping me in her arms.

“I’ll never be able to repay you for what you did. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart,” she whispered softly said in my ear, her voice full of gratitude. She released me, kissed my cheek, and walked down the hall.

I watched Elaine walk down the hallway. As soon as she was out of sight, I took a deep breath and walked into Tess’ room.

The moment she came into view, she took my breath away—she looked like an angel. Her eyes were closed and she hadn’t heard me yet, so I took a second to look her over. Her right eye was badly bruised, she had a few scratches on her cheek and neck, but, other than that, she had never looked so beautiful.

I walked into the room further, stopping at the end of her bed, as she opened her eyes. I must have startled her a bit because she jumped a little at the sight of me. I felt bad for sneaking up on her when she winced in pain—I forgot her ribs were bruised.

“Oh, shit, baby girl. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have scared you like that. Are you okay?” I asked concerned, rushing over to the side of her bed.

“Yeah, just a little sore is all,” she replied, a weak smile on her face. I could tell it hurt worse than she was letting on.

I pulled up a chair next her bed and took a seat. “Oh, my God, Blake! Your arm! I totally forgot about it. Does it hurt?” she asked shocked. I followed her gaze down to my stitches. I had completely forgotten all about my damn arm until now.

I reached for the hand that was resting by her side. “It’s not bad,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. My hands shook a bit as I stroked her knuckles with my fingers. Staring right at her, I continued, “Honestly, I’ve been too worried about you to even care about my fucking arm.”

Her face lit up as soon as the words came out of my mouth and I relaxed for just a second, hopeful that maybe she did want me back. My hopes soared until the tears started to pool in her eyes. So many emotions played across her face, I couldn’t tell if she was upset, angry, sad, or a mix of all of three.

My nerves returned in full force when she finally blinked and two lonely streams of tears ran down her face. I knew instantly, deep down, that those tears were not because of what Jared did to her. No, those tears were reserved just for me.

I felt vile and worthless. I was sick with regret for walking away from her and putting her in this mess. I knew I needed to make things right by telling her everything. I opened my mouth, trying to force the apology out, but nothing came—only silence. I took a deep breath, not ready to face her yet, and broke my stare as I rested my forehead on her hand that was now trembling just like mine.

We were both silent for the longest time and I could hear her fighting back the sobs with each breath she took. I continued to slide my thumb over her knuckles as I gathered my thoughts and tried to come up with the words I knew she needed to hear.

“I’m… I’m so sorry, baby girl. This is my fault. If I would have…”

She cut me off before I could get the rest out. “This is not your fault, Blake, and you know it! You couldn’t control him and he would have found a way to get me eventually.” She sounded pissed. I snapped my head up, coming face to face with her, as her eyes softened and more tears spilled out.

“If it weren’t for you, I’d probably be dead right now… so thank you.” She pulled her hand away from mine, resting it on her stomach, and her gaze followed. “I’m just sorry you got dragged into this mess. You could’ve been seriously hurt because of me.”

I reached for her hand again, pulling it back to the side of the bed as I grasped it a bit tighter this time so she couldn’t pull away. I knew she was still hurt and upset with me, but I didn’t care. I longed for her touch and, since her body was beaten and sore, her hand was going to have to be good enough for now.

“I would take a hundred cuts to the arm if it meant you were safe,” I said, brushing her hair out of her face. She smiled at me and I almost lost it. She was so beautiful. “What were you thinking, jumping on him like that, anyway? You do know he’s, like, twice your size?” I teased, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

“Hey, now! I’m pretty sure if I hadn’t jumped on him, you would be in this bed instead of me. So maybe you should be thanking me instead of questioning my motives,” she shot back at me with her smart mouth.

“
Pft!
Whatever,” I said sarcastically, glaring at her with a playful smile. We both knew she was right, but I wasn’t going to elaborate on it. I let my guard down and if she hadn’t done what she did, who knows what would have happened.

“Oh, did I bruise your massive ego, Mr. Bentley?” she mocked, flashing me an over exaggerated, fake frown. She let out a small giggle and my dick jumped in my pants.

What the hell is wrong with me? She’s lying in a fucking hospital bed and one little sound sends my mind to the gutter.

Trying to push the not-at-all-appropriate thoughts from my mind, she asked, “So, what happened, you know… after I blacked out?”

I started to laugh a bit at her question. Did she really need to ask that? “I beat the shit out of that mother fucker!” I said proudly. “Lucky for him, the cops showed up about two minutes later and pulled me off of him—I had every intention of killing him.”

She laughed at the last words. “You wouldn’t have killed him, Blake, and you know it.”

I stared at her, raising my eyebrows silently, challenging her statement. Her face went blank as she realized I meant what I said and her gaze shifted to our hands that were still entwined at her side.